by Bec Botefuhr
VENGEANCE
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Copyright © 2012 Bec Botefuhr
Published by Bec Botefuhr, October 2012.
Vengeance (The pirate series) is a work of fiction. All names, characters, places and events portrayed in this book either are from the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, establishments, events, or location is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
Books in this Series
Damned (Book One)
Betrayed (Book Two)
Vengeance (Book Three)
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I would firstly like to thank my husband, without him, this series would have never been finished. For his time, love and patience through my writers blocks and my hours of fixing work. He is my rock; he made this real for me.
I would like to extend thanks to a wonderful friend, Creina Woods. She helped me feel my characters, she taught me to know them as well as I know myself. She helped shape my books and gave me an understanding of how to write.
I can’t forget my right hand woman, Charmaine Mathews. She spent hours and hours reading my novels and gave me nothing but honest opinions on my story. She made this possible.
Last but certainly not least, my family. My mom especially, for never giving up on me and for believing I could do this, for encouraging me and giving me the strength to keep going when things were down.
This book is for my Uncle’s Garry and Tony, who inspired the character Rusty. They are always there to look out for me, and are just as scary, and as sweet. This one is for you two.
VENGEANCE
PROLOGUE
“You need to tell him.” Jack whispers as I throw up over the toilet for the sixth time this morning.
“No.” I croak.
“Jade, his emotions are fragile. It is the last thing he needs. If you keep something else from him…”
“He left!” I spit, wiping my face and leaning against the toilet.
“You betrayed him.”
“I know Jack, but…he hasn’t even called. He rarely texts. He isn’t ready to talk to me, and until he is, I will not tell him.”
“Jade, angel…please.”
“I need a minute Jack.”
He sighs and walks out. I stand and walk over to the sink; my eyes are bright even though my soul is dark. My hair is thick and healthy. My skin is radiant and shining. My body is alive, well and glowing because I am pregnant. Three months along. I didn’t know when Jax left, and I haven’t yet told him. He has been gone for over two months, and I have spoken with him once, to get the phone for Lilly. He sends me a message with his progress every few days; there is nothing romantic or loving in any of it.
My heart throbs each night; I curl into my bed alone and missing my husband. I broke his heart, and I don’t know how to fix it. I lost my father, my husband and now I am alone. I ache inside. Jack is my rock and continues to show strength even though his heart is breaking for me. I love him for that. Lilly weeps most nights; I don’t know how to comfort her or how to make her see Jax loves her. I tell her he will come back, but I don’t know if he will.
I try, every day, to keep what is left of my family together.
CHAPTER 1
“You are seventeen weeks along, congratulations.” The doctor murmurs as she slides an ultrasound machine over my tummy four weeks later.
“Oh. Wow.”
I stare at the image on the screen, the little budding heart beat and the features of our baby. I know I have to tell him, I just don’t know how.
“Do you want to know the sex?”
I feel my insides turn to liquid. It hurts so much.
“Yes.” I whisper.
“It’s a boy.”
A boy. I hiccup, and tears flow down my cheeks. The technician hands me a tissue and squeezes my hand.
“Are you ok miss?”
“Fine, thank you.” I croak.
“Would you like a picture printed?”
“Please.”
She hands me a picture, and I take it gratefully. I walk out of the room and pay for my appointment. When I step into the cold winter day, I shiver. I hate winter. I look down at my phone and hesitate. He has to know. You have to tell him. Don’t make things worse. What if he wants nothing to do with my baby? I punch in his number.
We need to talk.
What about?
It is important Jax. Can you ring me?
No, I am busy.
Jax, this is urgent.
Then tell me.
I DON’T WANT TO TELL YOU OVER TEXT!
AND I DON’T WANT TO RING YOU!
You know what, fine. Have it your way. Maybe it’s best you stay out there and let us get along with our lives.
I attach a picture of the ultrasound and hit send. My phone falls silent for a good half an hour. Then it rings. I snort and press the end button. No, I won’t play games with my husband. Mad or not, he needs to speak to me like a real person before I speak to him like one.
You are pregnant?
I don’t answer. I shove my phone in my pocket and walk to a nearby cafe. It rings and rings constantly while I drink my tea. Keep calm Jade, let him stew. By the time I arrive home, my phone has over fifty missed calls and God knows how many messages. I smile at Layla when I walk through the door, her and PJ and in my kitchen making Lilly pancakes. They have been remarkable.
“Hey honey, how’d you go?” Layla asks.
I sit and shove my phone at her. She glances at all the calls and laughs.
“He has rung here about three hundred times.”
“I bet he has. I am having a boy.”
PJ grins, Layla beams and Lilly squeals.
“I am going to have a brother!”
“Sure are baby!”
“I can’t wait!” She skips around and runs off to ring her friends.
“And you finally told Jax, I assume?” Layla laughs, shaking her head at Lilly.
“I did. He is wild.”
“I bet he is.”
PJ comes around the bench and hugs me close. I grin up at him.
“I could make a tidal wave, give him a shake up.”
“He is getting enough of a shake up at the moment.”
My phone rings again and Layla narrows her eyes.
“Don’t make him sweat it too long.”
I laugh and wait for the phone to stop ringing, then check my messages again.
Why the fuck didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?
Jade. PICK UP.
I swear to God, you fucking better pick up that phone.
JADE!
I smother a grin and text back.
I am not picking up until you are calm. I didn’t tell you because you haven’t wanted to speak with me.
How can you expect me to be fucking calm? You lied to me again.
As a matter of fact Jax, I did not lie. I just did not tell you. I have my reasons. You refuse to even speak with me; I haven’t heard my own husbands fucking voice for months. I made a mistake, and you are ringing that out. I don’t owe you anything anymore. I am moving on with my life and my family. I am
sick of your petty shit.
He doesn’t reply for a long while. I manage to get a shower and some afternoon tea in before he finally gets back to me.
I am going to ring in ten. Answer the phone.
Fine.
I sit and anxiously wait for his call. I haven’t heard his voice for so long. I miss it; miss him. When my phone rings, I force myself to let it ring three times before answering it.
“Hello.”
“Hey.” His voice comes across the speaker, rugged, manly, a sound I have missed so heavily.
“Hi.”
“I am sorry I went off at you. I am sorry I didn’t call. I am hurt Jade. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I am hurt too Jax. You refuse to even speak with me. What did you expect I would do? I wasn’t going to let this baby make the choice for you. If you wanted me, I wanted you to make that choice on your own; not because of a child.”
“I…Jade I need to tell you something before we go any further. It’s…bad.”
My heart clenches. “W-w-what?”
He takes a deep breath on the other end of the phone. “I was so mad when I left. I spent a month out here, and I just couldn’t…couldn’t get your betrayal out of my head. I was angry and hurt. I stopped off at the island to stock up, and we went out…”
“Stop,” I choke. “Don’t.”
“Mate, I have to…”
“NO!” I scream. “Don’t.”
His voice falls silent for a moment.
“I have wanted to come back, so many times but…I am so angry at you and so angry at myself. It is partly my fault. Now this…you deserve to know.”
I am sobbing heavily. He doesn’t need to say it. I already know, but suddenly, I need to hear him admit it.
“Say it.” I whisper.
He pauses. “I got drunk, blind rotten drunk. I…woke in the morning naked with a girl. I don’t remember fucking her, but I have no doubt I did.”
I slam the phone down and fall to my knees, screaming. PJ, who was walking past, now stops and rushes in. He scoops me into his arms and holds me close.
“Hey, stop that crying. What has happened?”
“He cheated on me.” I scream, clenching my eyes shut.
“Oh…shit.”
Layla comes rushing in, sees me on the floor and drops to her knees.
“What happened?”
“He…told her he cheated on her.”
“Oh no.”
She takes me in her arms and PJ stands.
“Call Jack.”
“Hey, sweetie. Shhh. It is ok.”
“It hurts so bad.” I whimper.
“I know. I know.”
My phone rings and Layla lets me go, answering it with fury.
“How dare you ring here?”
I can hear Jax’s voice in the background.
“Let me talk to her.”
“So you can go ahead and break her heart some more? How could you? She has waited for you, so patiently, never pushing and you…don’t you ring here again.”
“Layla, put her on the phone.”
“Jax, you better get the hell out of her life.”
“She is my wife!”
“And you punished her for hurting you. How could you? If you didn’t want her Jax, you should have left.”
“I love her!” He roars. “Put her on. It was a fucking mistake.”
“Yeah well, it is too late for that. She made a mistake, and instead of just taking the time and being half decent, you fucked someone else and ruined any small strand that was left. You lost your wife; I hope you are happy.”
“She…said that?” His voice is softer.
“She doesn’t have to, go Jax and do not come back.”
She hangs up, and I sob harder into her shirt.
“Shhh, we will take care of you. All of us.”
“I…I don’t know what to feel.” I wail.
“You deserve better.”
“He is my husband.”
She pulls back. “And he cheated on you.”
“Because I lied and broke his heart!” I scream, fisting my hair.
“That’s no excuse.”
“I need to be alone.”
I push myself to my feet and slowly, with wobbly legs, walk upstairs. I sink onto the seat beside the window and stare out. The thought of him with another woman, touching her, kissing her, tears my heart into pieces. I can’t bear it. The pain shooting through my chest is so horrible, so painful. I can’t breathe; I can’t think. I am so hurt. I hear my door open a while later, and Jack walks in. I don’t move.
“Oh angel.”
He slides behind me and takes me into his arms. I lean my head back against his shoulder; my tears are gone, there are no more left.
“I…knew he was mad…” I whisper hoarsely. “But I didn’t think…”
“He rang me.”
I turn quickly. “He did.”
“I don’t condone what he did Jade, if he was here, I would knock him out but he honestly…he honestly regrets it. If he didn’t, he would not have told you. He could have kept it a secret, and you would have never known.”
“And that makes it right?” I scream.
“God no angel. I just think…I think he truly regrets it.”
“So he should.” I snarl.
“He does love you, regardless of what he has done. You just need to know if that is enough.”
“He cheated on me. How can I ever trust him again?”
“I am not expecting you to,” Jack says standing. “But I am going to say this. All those years you were gone, Jax only ever moved on to one girl and as soon as you were back he came to you. When he chose to be with you, I watched him turn away all the women with him. His heart belonged to you Jade. You did the one thing that no pirate should do, and he walked away calmly from it. He made one mistake, one he truly regrets. For what it is worth, Jax is not the cheating type and he would never do anything to intentionally hurt you Jade.”
Jack leaves and I stare out the window, pondering his words. Part of me blames myself; I betrayed Jax and he is hurting. Part of me blames him, and not having control over what he does, but for the most part, I blame this stupid situation we have both put ourselves in. Both of us too stubborn to give in, to say sorry. I never said sorry to him, not once, and he deserved that. I stroke my hands over my stomach and know that I have to make this choice.
I know I have to figure out if I can move past this, or if I can’t. I know I will be the one to decide my family's fate. I will be the one to decide my own future, and my husband’s future. I stand and slip into the shower, hurting so badly. Right now, all I can see is him with another woman. I want so badly to push that aside and just focus on what matters, but I can’t. Not right now. I sink into the warmth of the shower, and let more salty tears stream down my face. When I am done, I slide into my bed and peer down at my phone. Jack had put it on my bedside table. I read the one and only message from Jax.
I fucked up. I punished you for hurting me. I made a mistake. I am not going to say we are even because what I did was so much worse than what you did. I want you to know this though; I love you, no matter what. I haven't stopped. I have missed you every second of every day out here, even through my anger. I won’t walk away, not unless you ask me to. I can’t take back what I did, I don’t even know why or how I did it. I remember nothing. I wish I could say it never happened, I fucked up.
I think for a long, long moment before coming to a decision. I know what we have to do. I pick up the phone and dial his number. He picks up on the first ring.
“Jade…”
“Where are you?” I croak.
“What?”
“I want to know where you are.”
“On the island.”
“I…how do I get there?”
“You want to come here?” His voice is soft, gentle.
“I need to talk with you, face to face. This is not something that can be done over a phone or a message. I
don’t want to do it here. I want to come to you. We both fucked up Jax, and we both have to talk.”
“Are you leaving me?”
I swallow. “I don’t know. I just want to talk with you.”
“I will send a plane in the morning. Is Lilly coming?”
“Yes, I will bring her and Jack.”
“Ok.”
“I will see you tomorrow then. Text me the details.”
“For what it’s worth, I am truly sorry.”
“I know you are.” I whisper.
“I love you mate.”
I swipe my tears away. “I…I should go.”
“Goodnight.”
“Bye Jax.”
I hang up and fall back onto my bed. I manage to drift into a restless sleep. I wake before everyone else in the morning. I pack my things and Lilly’s, then I text Jack with our flight plan. He texts back letting me know he will come too. I don’t give much away when Layla and PJ ask, and they don’t push. They know better than to get between Jax and my issues.
We wait for the plane outside; Jack’s hand is firmly in mine. When it lands on our property, we climb onto the small vessel. God, this is not comfortable at all. The flight is long; it takes over eight hours. When I finally see a small island come into view, I peer out. Wow, so this is what he searched so hard for. It is breathtaking.
From the air, I can see white sand and aqua blue water. The middle of the island is mostly cleared out with huts and a small village. I can see a large dam, with crystal clear water and a waterfall. Wow pirate, this truly is freedom. Lilly shifts and squirms in her chair, beaming with excitement. When the plane lands, the pilot cuts the engine and opens the door. Lilly bolts off and I can hear her squeals and Jax’s laughter.
With a deep breath, I look at Jack. He smiles reassuringly and takes my hand. I let him hold me for a long moment, calming my nerves. When I step off the plane, I see nothing for a long moment, due to the suns vicious rays. When it clears, I see Jax. He is standing off to the side, wearing nothing but a pair of faded jeans. Oh God. I make a choking sound as my eyes meet his. He lets his gaze travel over me, and then stops on my belly. I can’t make out his expression.
“Jack.” He says, reaching out to shake Jack’s hand.
I step closer, until we are only a few feet apart. He reaches out to me, and I let him pull me into his arms. Above all else, I need to feel my husband’s comfort, his warm arms around me. I slide into him, and my cheek rests on his chest. His skin is hot from the sun, and he has that extraordinary smell. I feel my tears slide down his chest and over his abdomen.
