The Engagement Charade

by Karen Kirst

  Ellie greeted Flo, who stood over the stove stirring a fresh pan of red-eye gravy, before approaching him. She looked quite fetching this morning. Her shell-pink blouse brought a bloom to her cheeks and sparkle to her eyes.

  “I’m accustomed to waking before the rooster’s crow. I remained abed for at least half an hour, attempting to reclaim sleep, but it was no use.” Her wide, sunny smile made his chest seize with longing. “One can stare at the ceiling rafters for only so long. Besides, my stomach becomes queasy if I wait too long to eat breakfast.”

  As soon as the words were out, she blushed and shifted her reticule to try to hide her middle.

  “You’re wearing your hair different,” he blurted.

  Her lips parted. Lifting a hand to the loose bun at the base of her neck, she said, “June suggested I try something new. Ponytails are for girls, not a widow on the verge of motherhood.” She winced and lowered her gaze to his boots. “Listen to me. I’m supposed to be taking your mind off that particular topic, not dwelling on it.”

  Alexander heartily disliked himself in that moment. He was being selfish and unfair. He deposited the dishes on the table to his right and turned back to her.

  His voice pitched low, he said, “I owe you an apology.”

  She whipped her head up. “I don’t know what for. You haven’t done anything wrong...except borrow my apron without asking.” Humor simmered in her eyes. “Pink is your color.”

  A reluctant smile spread across his face. “I’m ordering new ones for everyone at my first opportunity. Plain. No ruffles.”

  She reached out and adjusted one of the straps, her fingers brushing against his bare neck. He felt that innocent touch to the soles of his feet. He wanted to trap her hand there and prolong the fleeting connection.

  “That’s a shame,” she said lightly. “I happen to like ruffles.”

  Dazed by his response, he somehow found his voice. “I shouldn’t have made you feel like you have to hide your condition or pretend you aren’t experiencing one of life’s most joyous events. I’m sorry.”

  Her eyes shimmered with telltale moisture. He recalled how prone to tears Sarah had been during her pregnancy. For once, the memory didn’t evoke devastating grief. He was too wrapped up in concern for the woman standing before him.

  “It’s all right, Alexander. I understand.”

  The rise and fall of conversation and clink of silverware in the dining room filtered through the hallway.

  “Hello, Ellie.” Sally bounced past them with a distracted wave. “Flo, is that gravy ready yet? I need to get Ben’s breakfast out to him before he’s called away on lawman business.”

  The ding of the front doorbell registered. “I have to seat them,” he told Ellie, surprised by his desire to continue their conversation. He was supposed to be keeping his distance.

  “I’ll help.”

  “No, you are going to plant yourself at that table with a cup of tea, and you aren’t going to move until that long hand reaches ten o’clock.”

  “I’m already here. There’s no reason I shouldn’t pitch in.”

  “That wasn’t the deal we agreed to.”

  “But—”

  “Ellie.” He planted his hands on his hips. “I won’t be swayed on this. Either you do as I suggest or you leave the café and don’t return until breakfast is over.”

  “Has anyone told you that you’re a stubborn man?”

  “More than I can count, but not usually one of my employees.”

  Rolling her eyes, she shook her head and flounced to the table. While he admired her more refined hairstyle, he found he missed the perky ponytail swinging back and forth. Sinking into a chair positioned where she could survey the entire kitchen, she shot him a long-suffering glance.

  “Is this better, boss?”

  Chapter Eight

  “What did you do to Mr. Copeland?” Beneath the fringe of her bangs, Sally’s brown eyes reflected awe. She hooked a chair with her foot and scooted it away from the table.

  Flo’s expression turned shrewd as she maneuvered her large girth into the seat on Ellie’s right. Due to her exertions over the hot stove, her strawberry-and-gray curls were limp and her ruddy complexion shiny with perspiration.

  They’d waited until Alexander left the café to confront her.

  “Yes, do tell. Before you came along, it would’ve taken a stick of dynamite to rout him from his office. Now he’s busing tables and scrubbing pots. I think he’s taken a shine to you.”

  “Alexander barely tolerates me,” she denied.

  Flo wagged her finger. “A man who doesn’t like a woman doesn’t look at her the way the boss looks at you, Ellie.”

  Bubbly delight cascaded through her before she caught herself. She craved Alexander’s friendship, nothing more. She couldn’t afford to be vulnerable to any man. Choosing Nolan for a husband had led to heartache and disillusionment. With her baby’s well-being at stake, making wise decisions was paramount.

  Looking into her fellow employees’ curious faces, she realized the time had come to share her news.

  “The reason Alexander gave me time off isn’t because he fancies me. He did it because he believes I need more rest than I’ve been getting. As you know, my husband died in June.” Memories of his shocking accident and the terrible days and weeks that followed rushed in. She sucked in a fortifying breath. “It wasn’t until after he’d gone that I discovered I was pregnant.”

  Sally gasped. “You’re going to have a baby? Alone?”

  Flo shot the waitress a reproachful glance. “Ellie’s not the first young woman to face motherhood on her own. It’s not as if she has a choice.” She patted Ellie’s arm. “You’re a strong person with a good heart. I have faith you’ll be a wonderful mother.”

  Ellie’s throat clogged with tears. “Thank you.”

  Sally’s thin arms closed about her. “I’m happy for you, Ellie. I can’t wait to meet him or her.”

  She returned the hug, relieved to share her secret with these two women. This pregnancy was the fulfillment of a long-held dream. Concealing it had been a tremendous strain. June Trentham was the only person she’d been able to speak freely with. Now she had two more. Granted, Sally was naïve and inexperienced in the matters of marriage and children. Flo, on the other hand, had birthed six strapping boys, all grown now with families of their own.

  They peppered her with questions, which she was happy to answer, and before long it was time to begin lunch preparations. As they left the table, Sally’s eyes assumed a dreamy light and her smile turned wistful, an indication she was thinking about her favorite topic—Deputy Ben MacGregor.

  “I’ve made up my mind to ask Ben to the harvest dance.”

  Flo retrieved a bag of sweet potatoes from the storage bin. “Not a grand idea, my dear. Let the man do the asking, I always say. My boys relished the pursuit.”

  “He hasn’t picked up on my hints.” Her nose scrunched up. “I’m tired of waiting for him to act. I have to let him know in no uncertain terms that I’m interested.”

  Ellie finished tying on her apron, which now carried Alexander’s male scent. She recalled the moment she’d touched him—why she persisted in hovering over him like a mother hen, she had no idea—and the reluctant admiration in his gorgeous eyes as he’d inspected her new hairstyle.

  Forcing those thoughts out of her mind, she searched for the right words to say. “Sally, have you noticed how friendly Ben is with everyone? Especially females?”

  “He’s nice, isn’t he?” she gushed, unaware of Ellie’s intent. “I’ve never met anyone with a heart as caring as his.”

  Flo searched the spice bins and landed on nutmeg and cinnamon. “That red hair combined with those deep green eyes doesn’t hurt, either,” she said, winking.

  Sa
lly blushed. “He is a fine-looking man, that’s a fact.”

  “I don’t doubt that ninety percent of the available women in this town share your feelings,” Ellie said. “While I agree he’s a nice man, he’s also uninterested in settling on any one relationship.”

  When Sally’s smile slipped, Ellie added, “I’m not trying to upset you, sweetie. I simply don’t want to see you get hurt.”

  “I’m not ignorant of his behavior. I’ve seen him wooing other girls. Romantic picnics. Buggy rides. Strolls along the river’s edge.” Her confidence wavered. “I’ve seen and wished with all of my heart that it was me by his side.” Fisting her hands, she vowed, “I’ve made up my mind. I’m asking him to the social and maybe, just maybe, he’ll decide that I’m the girl for him. For always.” Blinking rapidly, she mumbled, “Excuse me.”

  Before Ellie could call her back, she was rushing out the rear door, nearly bowling over a startled Caroline in the process. The statuesque blonde hovered on the stoop.

  “I apologize for interrupting,” she said, peering around. “I know you’re closed right now, but I wished to extend an invitation.”

  Ellie bid her enter. “Good morning, Caroline. Can I get you something to drink?”

  “No, thank you. I can’t linger. Would you like to take part in a quilting bee this Saturday afternoon? I’m hosting. There will be refreshments, of course. Consider it an opportunity to get to know a few of your neighbors.” She nodded at Flo. “Flo’s been to several, though it’s been a while.”

  “Busy at home and work,” Flo said by way of apology. “Maybe I’ll try to make the next one.”

  “I hope you can find the time,” she said kindly. “So, Ellie, what do you say?”

  Delighted by the invitation, she wished she didn’t have to refuse. “I appreciate you including me, but I can’t. Saturdays are our busiest days.”

  Disappointment flashed. “Couldn’t you at least ask Alexander? It’s only one afternoon.”

  “I’m afraid not. If it was a weekday, perhaps I could consider it.”

  That resulted in a brilliant smile. “I will consult my calendar the moment I get home.”

  When she’d gone, Flo looked up from the mound of sweet potatoes she was peeling. “Since when did Caroline McKenna become your best friend?”

  “I first met her when I applied for the position here. Caroline sensed my anxiety and was very kind and reassuring.”

  Ellie retrieved two tins of pineapple and joined Flo at the table. The town-wide audition day seemed so long ago. She’d prayed God would grant her the job, and He had. “We speak at church, but we haven’t had a chance to socialize outside of that setting. Don’t you like her?”

  “I like her fine. Just wondering why she suddenly craves your presence.”

  Ellie fell silent as she gathered bowls and utensils they’d need for the sweet potato dish. Flo’s suspicions stirred her own questions. Why, indeed?

  * * *

  Ellie was preparing to change into her nightclothes Friday night when June appeared in the doorway. The day had been satisfying but long and tiring, and she yearned for her bed. Laying her hairbrush on the dresser, she summoned a smile, careful not to let her consternation show. June was quickly becoming a treasured friend. Ellie enjoyed their frequent chats and relished hearing the other lady’s accounts of her life.

  “You have a visitor.” June’s eyes danced with merriment.

  “At this hour? Who is it?”

  “Mr. Copeland. He insisted on waiting on the porch. Should I tell him to leave?”

  Alexander was here? To see her?

  “No. That’s not necessary.” Glancing at her reflection, she smoothed her long locks, which were thicker and more lustrous now that she was pregnant. “I’ll find out what he wants and send him on his way.”

  Her lined face stretched into a coy smile. “No need to worry, my dear. I may be decades older than you, but I remember what it was like to have gentlemen callers.”

  “Oh no, this is a business matter, I’m sure.” Following her into the living room, Ellie continued, “I hope nothing serious has happened at the café.”

  Resuming her spot on the sofa, June pulled her knitting project onto her lap. “Take as long as you need out there. I’m not sleepy. I’ll be awake for at least another hour.”

  Preoccupied, Ellie murmured a response and stepped outside, closing the door behind her. Alexander turned around. A kerosene lamp emitted soft light that allowed her to make out the planes of his face, the sharp cheekbones and strong chin.

  “Alexander.” She clasped her hands at her waist. “Is something amiss?”

  “There’s no emergency.” He held his black bowler in his hands. “I had hoped to catch you before you left for the night, but I was detained.” His gaze lingered on her hair. “Maybe I should’ve waited until the morning to speak with you. I know you’re tired.”

  When he started to put his hat back on and descend the steps, she gestured to the bench swing. “It’s nice out. Why don’t we sit for a while?”

  After a brief hesitation, he said, “You’re sure?”

  Ellie got comfortable on one end of the swing and patted the empty space beside her. “I’m sure.”

  The bench rocked gently as he lowered his tall frame onto it and placed his hat between them. “You’re right, it is nice out here,” he said, noting the expanse of stars winking down on them. “I’m glad you found Mrs. Trentham’s advertisement.”

  “It’s been a blessing straight from heaven.”

  He looked over at her. “I haven’t heard you complain once about your circumstances. I admire your fortitude, Ellie.”

  His praise evoked dangerous feelings. After years of disappointing her husband and in-laws, any positive comments were soaked up like a sponge. Alexander’s compliment didn’t carry a deeper meaning, she reassured herself. Flo’s musings were far off the mark—he did not carry a torch for her.

  “Feeling sorry for myself isn’t going to accomplish anything. My grandmother taught me to look for the good in life.” A pang of sorrow arrowed through her. “She taught me a lot of things.”

  “She sounds like a wise woman.”

  “I count myself blessed to have had her and my grandfather to raise me.” Unwilling to dwell on sad thoughts, she focused on the present. “What did you wish to tell me?”

  “I heard you aren’t going to the quilting bee. I encourage you to reconsider.”

  Among the various reasons he might’ve had for the visit, this wasn’t it. “Who did you hear that from?”

  “I ran into Caroline this evening. She expressed regret that you wouldn’t be joining her and her friends.”

  “While I’d like to go, I can’t leave Flo and Sally on the busiest day of the week. Especially considering I’ve been forbidden to work during the breakfast hours.”

  “That was my decision. I’m not an unfeeling ogre, Ellie. You’re allowed to ask for time off on occasion. In the past, Flo has had to help with a sick grandchild and care for her husband when he suffered a leg injury.”

  “Why is it important to you that I go?”

  He didn’t answer immediately. The buzzing of cicadas swelled in the night air.

  He used his shoe to set the bench to rocking. “Having a baby is a momentous event,” he said gruffly. “You’ll need support in the coming months. With all the hours you put in at the café, you don’t have a lot of time to form friendships.”

  She placed her hand atop his, tempted to trace the ridges of his knuckles, the pulsing veins and scattered scars. “You’re a thoughtful man, Alexander. I’ve long suspected that behind that gruff exterior beats a compassionate heart.”

  He surprised her by laughing. The husky, beautiful sound reverberated through her. “You’d be the only one.”

 
“You don’t have to pretend with me,” she ventured. “We’ve both lost precious loved ones. I understand what you’re going through.”

  He grew serious again. “The difference is I loved my wife.”

  Ellie winced at the underlying accusation and withdrew her hand. He assumed that because she didn’t wear black and didn’t walk around with a long face that she didn’t grieve Nolan’s passing. Before she could form a response, he stood and wandered to the railing, staring up at the stars.

  “You didn’t lose a child.” His voice vibrated with sorrow and anger. “You have no idea how a tragedy like that tears you apart.”

  “Actually, I do.”

  * * *

  Ellie joined him at the railing. The lamplight washed over features tight with sorrow. In her doe eyes, he glimpsed deep rivers of anguish.

  “What are you talking about?” he blurted, the rawness of his voice sounding alien to his ears.

  Ellie presented a brave face to the world. Contentment radiated from her. To see into her private world of pain rocked him to the core.

  A curtain of dark hair slid forward to obscure her face. “This isn’t my first pregnancy.”

  He released a pent-up breath.

  “I lost my first child during the first year of our marriage. It happened in the early stages. I hardly had time to process the fact I was to be a mother before the dream was snatched away.” She pressed her hand against her stomach as if to cradle her unborn child, the gold of her wedding band gleaming in the faint light. “The second loss was harder to bear. I was in my fifth month. The baby...” She swallowed thickly and shook her head. “I almost died. There were days I wished I had.”

  Alexander felt the blood drain from his face.

  During Sarah’s pregnancy, she’d had her own fears about something going wrong, especially in the early days. He couldn’t fathom the trauma Ellie had suffered, giving birth to a stillborn and coming close to death herself. He had the terrible suspicion that she’d been left to grieve alone. The Jamesons wouldn’t have offered her comfort or support.

  He nearly reached out and pulled her into his arms. Instead, he gripped the railing until the wood bit into his palms. “How did you find the strength to carry on?”