Down & Dirty_Hawk

by Jeanne St. James

  Kiki had a feeling he was starting to take this conversation much more seriously. She curled her hand around the back of his neck as he spread his fingers along her hips. “Tell me what you want from me,” she whispered.

  “Just you, babe.”

  She shook her head. “It’s not that simple. I know that. You know that.”

  His nostrils flared. “Right. Want you to be my ol’ lady.”

  “Then tell me what that entails.”

  Hawk regarded the woman sitting naked in his lap. She had a freshly fucked look, one that showed she was satisfied, her hair long and wild as it fell over her shoulders and tits, her eyes soft but curious with their line of conversation.

  He was stepping into dangerous territory because he truly did want Kiki to become his ol’ lady. Though, as much as he wanted that, as much as he tried to imagine it the last couple of weeks, he wasn’t sure, once again, if it would work. Whether her tying herself down with someone like him, a biker, would be enough for her.

  As much as he wished it would be, truth was that he couldn’t be sure that it would.

  And that scared the fuck out of him. Not as much as what happened a couple weeks ago scared the fuck out of him. But it was a close second.

  He thought he lost her then. He didn’t want to lose her now.

  But he couldn’t get out of his head any of the words her ex-husband said. That night in the restaurant and again that day in Kiki’s hospital room.

  He hated to admit it, but the guy had a clue.

  “We’ll make it what you wanna make it.”

  Kiki drew a finger over his chest. “Now I know and you know that’s not how it works. You belong to a club with some rules. Some ancient, misogynistic rules, albeit. But, no matter what, you follow those rules, you live that life. And, honey, you’re the VP, for crissakes. You aren’t going to give that up nor would I ask you to. So,” she leaned forward, her lips a hair’s breadth from his, “tell me what being your ol’ lady entails.”

  “You’d be mine,” he answered simply.

  “I’m already yours,” she answered back, which made something in his chest tighten.

  “Yeah, but like mine.”

  “Okay, got that part. I’m okay with that.”

  She wasn’t getting it. Then suddenly she was. Her mouth became an O. “You mean I’d be your property.”

  Jesus fuck, he didn’t want to admit that to her.

  “You’d own me.”

  Goddamn.

  “Or at least, according to your brothers you would.”

  Where was she going with this?

  “Does Ace own your mom?”

  He blinked.

  “Does Jag own Ivy?”

  He opened his mouth, but she wasn’t done.

  “Does Zak own Sophie?”

  He shut his mouth.

  “Because what I’ve witnessed with them has been nothing but deep love and respect.”

  Jesus.

  “Now, Grizz can be a bit grumpy with his wife.”

  “Yeah,” he finally grunted.

  “But it’s easy to see that he loves her to death, too.”

  That was true. Both Grizz and Mama Bear griped at each other, but they’d been together forever and would be until the day they died. And Grizz would continue to be the thorn in Mama Bear’s side even in the afterlife, if there was one.

  Hawk grinned.

  “So, if that’s what being an ol’ lady entails, then it doesn’t look horrible to me.”

  Hawk’s grin widened. “Babe,” he started.

  Apparently, she still wasn’t finished.

  “I love you, Hawk.”

  Jesus. His chest squeezed and he struggled to breathe. As much as he wanted to accept those words from her, to take them just as they were, he was still worried that she had no idea what she was getting into. He didn’t want her to decide she made a mistake down the road. When he was so far gone, he’d never recover if she decided his life wasn’t for her. He needed her to be sure. So he needed to make sure that she was sure. That her decisions were solid. As much as he wanted her to move in and become his ol’ lady, he also didn’t want her to make a mistake by falling too fast and too hard. Because he’d already done that.

  “You sure, babe?”

  “Sure about what?”

  “Loving me.”

  “Why wouldn’t I be sure?”

  “Not good enough for you. You deserve better.”

  “Oh, okay. Well, that settles that.”

  “Babe, seriously, know you got a good life. Wanna give you a good life, too, but it ain’t gonna be what you had with that... that... Landon.” He hated that name. Just like he hated the fact that that douchebag had been there before him.

  “Thank fuck!”

  His jaw dropped at her exclamation. He wasn’t sure he liked her cursing like that. He must be rubbing off on her. Which might not be a good thing. He liked having a classy piece of ass in his bed...

  As long as that ass was attached to Kiki.

  “If you start nailing our teenage neighbor we’re going to have a problem.” She lowered her voice. “Hawk, honestly, my life felt empty. It’s now full because of you. Because you are in it. Your family is in it. And by family, I don’t just mean your blood relatives.”

  He shook his head. “Afraid you’re gonna wake up one day an’ realize your mistake.”

  “I didn’t know you had a crystal ball.”

  “Ain’t stupid.”

  She sighed and cupped his cheek, brushing a thumb over his jaw that needed a shave. “No, you aren’t. Not at all. So, let’s try this again, big man... I love you.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Yeah?” she squeaked.

  “Fuck yeah.”

  “Oh good lord,” she whispered and rolled her eyes to the ceiling. “Hawk...”

  “Yeah, babe?”

  She sighed dramatically. He laughed and then twisted until he had her on her back and he was above her on his hands and knees, face to face.

  “Say it again,” he demanded, pinning her gaze with his.

  “What?” she teased, a small smile pulling at her lips.

  “Know what,” he grumbled.

  “I love you?”

  “Without the question mark.”

  “Ah. Let me try it again.” She cupped his cheek. “I love you.”

  “Babe.”

  “Yeah?”

  He curled his fingers around the back of her neck and pressed his lips to hers, whispering, “Me, too.”

  Epilogue

  “Gotta stop with that lipstick, babe,” Hawk griped as he approached Kiki sitting at the private bar at church. He scrubbed at his lips with his thumb.

  She swatted a dismissing hand his direction. “What am I going to wear then?”

  “Nothin’.”

  “I can’t wear nothin’!”

  Hawk’s mouth twisted as his ol’ lady mocked him. Since she had been fully healed for a while now, nothing stopped him from taking her over his knee. “Brothers are bustin’ my ass. Come into church my mouth the same color as yours.”

  “So?”

  He cocked an eyebrow her direction. “Whataya mean, so?”

  “Who cares?”

  He ducked behind the bar and grabbed a couple shot glasses. “Me. Can’t go into a meetin’ wearin’ lipstick like a fuckin’ bitch.”

  Kiki snickered.

  “Ain’t funny, babe.”

  She lifted a hand, pretending to control herself. Even her faking was a fail. “I’m trying to picture it.”

  He shook his head as he poured them both a whiskey. “Don’t have to. They don’t tell me first, just snap pics with their fuckin’ phones then laugh their asses off. Got plenty of evidence out there.” He came around the bar and slid in between her and the next stool.

  “Out where?”

  “There. There!” He waved an impatient hand over his head. “Interspace.”

  A squeak came from his woman. He was glad she was finding
all of this amusing.

  “You mean cyberspace?”

  “What-fuckin’-ever.”

  Kiki’s snicker turned into a full-blown laugh. “Poor baby.”

  “Yeah. Gotta do somethin’ to make up for my hurt feelin’s.”

  “Do I now?”

  “Yep.”

  “What do you suggest?”

  “Gettin’ on your knees might give you an idea.”

  “Ah, so you want lipstick on your cock instead.”

  “Better place for it.”

  Kiki bit her bottom lip. She planted a hand on Hawk’s chest and leaned into him. “Maybe I won’t kiss you goodbye when I leave for my office in the morning.”

  “Ain’t a good solution.”

  “No? How about I just apply my lipstick after I get into my car?”

  “Yeah,” he grunted, sliding a hand under the fall of her hair and down her back. “But don’t do it while you’re drivin’.”

  Watching her smile up at him made him think about what a lucky fucker he was.

  “Understood.”

  Hawk hooked a hand around her hip and pulled her even closer. “How’d it go today?”

  Her smile flattened. He hated that he was the one to make that happen.

  “Tom wasn’t happy.”

  “To be expected,” he muttered.

  “I’m not so thrilled myself.”

  He sighed. “Babe.”

  “It’s just that it’s going to be a long road ahead with me opening a new office and trying to find clients.”

  “Gonna be fine.”

  “Tom actually suggested I open a satellite office in the Valley and put his name on the letterhead.”

  “Fuck that.”

  She nudged him in the chest with her shoulder. “I’d figured that would be your response to his suggestion.”

  “All that money goes in your pocket, not his.”

  “And the club’s reserves, too.”

  “Right. Part of bein’ my ol’ lady.” He’d thought she’d be bitter about that part, but surprisingly she wasn’t. All the businesses paid a percentage into the club coffers and in return they all reaped the benefits.

  “Maybe whenever Jazz comes home, she can help me around the office.”

  “That’d be good.”

  “So, you’re not saying it, but I’ve been waiting. I guess everything went okay in there?” She tipped her head toward the closed door of the meeting room.

  “Took two seconds for that vote... Once I wiped your lipstick off my fuckin’ mouth.”

  “At least they know you’re gettin’ some.” Then she grunted loudly.

  He forced back his laughter. “Ain’t nobody in that room that ain’t gettin’ some, babe.”

  “Yes, I suspect you’re all very virile.”

  “Whatever that means. But don’t you worry ‘bout anybody gettin’ some ‘cept me. Got me?”

  She patted him on the stomach and took a sip of her whiskey. He guessed that was her answer.

  He looked around the common area. “Speakin’ of gettin’ some... Dya see where D went?”

  Kiki rolled her lips in and then her eyes slid toward the bathrooms.

  “Fuck,” he muttered.

  “That’s about right,” Kiki answered and raised her shot glass to her lips, emptying it.

  It was early, he couldn’t imagine what piece D had up against the wall in the women’s room.

  The door to the back parking lot whipped open and Jewel blew in, her head spinning back and forth, searching for someone. Hawk frowned as the prospects who were playing pool and drinking beer all hesitated to watch her rock and roll across the floor, heading their direction.

  “Where’s my brother?” she asked in a rush.

  Since Hawk was one of the last ones to leave the room after the meeting, he tipped his chin down to his woman and lifted a brow.

  Kiki shrugged. “I saw him and Ivy leave as soon as your meeting broke up.”

  Jewel scrunched her face up. “Great,” she muttered.

  “Whataya need, Jewelee?” Hawk asked.

  “Nothin’.”

  “Bullshit,” Hawk grunted.

  “Have to talk to D then.”

  “For what?” Hawk prodded.

  She bit her bottom lip as she eyeballed him. “Might have a bead where that shit-for-brains Squirrel is hanging out.”

  Hawk’s spine stiffened at the mention of the prospect D kicked out of the club awhile back for disrespecting Ivy. The one who ended up as prospect for the Warriors. The one who was going to die a slow, painful death. He also didn’t miss Kiki’s sharp inhale.

  “He here?” Jewel asked, still searching the room. “If not, I’ll text him.”

  “Ain’t gonna answer right now,” Hawk said, then downed his double shot of Jack. He held his breath until it settled warmly in his gut.

  “Why? Wasn’t he at the meeting? Is he...” Her head swung slowly toward the restrooms. “You’re fucking kidding me,” she grumbled, narrowing her eyes.

  She made to head that direction and Hawk grabbed her by the arm. He shook his head. “No,” he said sharply.

  “Fucking beast,” she mumbled under her breath.

  He didn’t know why she started calling his brother that, but Hawk didn’t like it and neither did D. “Jewelee, quit it,” he warned.

  “Why? He can’t keep his damn dick in his pants.”

  That was nothing new, so why was it bothering her now? He narrowed his eyes at Jewel. “Why do you care?”

  “I don’t,” she said way too quickly, which obviously was a lie.

  “Right.”

  She jerked her arm and snapped, “Let go of me, Hawk.”

  “Gonna behave?”

  “Yep. Just going to wait.”

  “Right.”

  Jewel raised a hand. “I swear.”

  “Wanna go home an’ fuck my ol’ lady, an’ now I gotta sit here an’ babysit you.”

  “You can go.” She slid her eyes to Kiki. “Congrats, I guess.”

  Kiki gave her a smile. “Thanks, I guess.”

  Jewel peeled his fingers off her arm one by one. “I’ll just go sit at the other end of the bar and wait. Promise.”

  Hawk grunted. “Swear, Jewelee, you walk in that bathroom, I’ll tan your hide myself.”

  She frowned at him. “Fine. Going to sit right,” she lifted her chin, “down there.”

  “You do that. Not a fuckin’ inch further.”

  With a huff, Jewel stomped over the last stool at the end of the bar nearest the bathrooms and settled her ass on it, crossing her arms over her chest.

  “Fuckin’ bullshit,” Hawk grumbled to Kiki. “Wanna get under that tight skirt of yours.”

  She lifted her shot glass. “Honey, why don’t you get me another drink while we wait.”

  He leaned over the bar and snagged the bottle of Jack. Cracking open the top, he poured them each another double.

  “Drink now, ‘cause when you’re pregnant with my kid, you ain’t drinkin’.”

  Kiki turned wide eyes up to him. “Are we planning that sometime soon?”

  “You’ll be the first to know.”

  She smiled and shook her head. “Well, thanks for that. Are you planning on putting a ring on my finger first?”

  “Bein’ my ol’ lady’s the same shit.”

  “So, we got married while you were in that meeting room making me your ol’ lady?” she asked. Her heavy sarcasm smacked him right in the face.

  “Need a ring to plant my seed in your belly, then yeah, I’ll get you a ring.”

  She sighed. “Once again, super romantic. Especially if that was a proposal.”

  “Need flowers with that ring, I’ll stop at the guy who sits at the corner of main an’ third.”

  “The guy with the wilted roses?” Kiki laughed, reaching up to cup his cheek.

  He turned his face into her palm and kissed it. “Need that shit?” he asked.

  “Just need you.”

 
“Just need you, too, babe.” His eyes left hers and landed on the other side of the room. “Fuck,” he muttered.

  Hawk watched as a young, blonde, big-titted female came out of the alcove where the restrooms were, pulling down her miniskirt as she walked away in way-too-high heels. Hawk had seen her around church but didn’t know her name. And with Kiki in his bed and heart, he didn’t need to.

  Two seconds later his brother followed, still buckling his belt, not paying attention to the hellcat that was about to launch a whole bunch of hurt on him when he least suspected it.

  “Fucking beast!” Jewel said, loud enough that almost everyone in the large room heard her and became quiet.

  “Jesus fuck,” Hawk mumbled under his breath.

  Diesel’s head shot up, his eyes fell on Jewel and his face twisted into a mask of surprised annoyance. Without a word, he took two long strides to her, snagged her by the upper arm, yanked her off the stool and dragged her across the room as she bitched at him the whole way. His brother bound up the stairs two at a time, but not before tossing Jewel over his shoulder.

  “Umm,” Kiki murmured next to him. “Should we help her?”

  Hawk turned his attention to his woman. “Nope.”

  “She going to be okay?”

  “She is. Not sure about D, though.”

  “Oh.”

  Hawk shot her a grin. “Yeah, babe. That ‘bout sums it up. Let’s go home.” The word “home” warmed his gut since his home now included Kiki permanently in it.

  The only thing better would be to go home and find Jazz sitting on the couch, wearing her earbuds, eating nachos, kicking her feet up on the coffee table and giving them a big smile as they walked in the door.

  Hawk didn’t think that would happen any time soon. Or ever again.

  As he wrapped his arm around Kiki and steered her toward the back door, he realized how lucky his woman had been.

  She had proven how strong she was and he was proud of how well she’d dealt with the shit she’d been handed. She’d recovered better and faster than he could have ever guessed.

  Now he was anxious to get home, strip her out of her hot-as-fuck work clothes, make her slide on her sexy glasses, let down her hair and watch her count every tattoo on his body. He’d make sure she’d miss one or two in her search and make her start all over again.

  He grinned, dropped his hand down to her ass and squeezed.