Redeeming Honor

by E. A. West

  “A bubble bath?” She laughed and shook her head.

  “Isn’t that what all women do to relax?”

  “I have no clue, but this woman would prefer a long, hot shower instead of having to rush to get ready for church.” Meghan headed for the hall, her heart lightened by the generosity of the men living in her house. “See you at breakfast!”

  ~*~

  Basir couldn’t keep his eyes off Meghan during breakfast. He gave it his best attempt, but no matter how determined he was not to stare, his gaze was inevitably drawn to her over and over. In the time it had taken him to care for the animals and Ryan to cook breakfast, she had transformed herself from the casual farming woman into a beauty like no other. Her brown hair shone, and she had created two small braids that ran from her temples to the back of her head where they merged into one. The rest of her hair hung loose, flowing in a rich curtain down her back. A light amount of makeup enhanced her eyes and made her lips shimmer. And her dress...

  He looked away again, but the vision was burned into his brain. The soft-looking green fabric of her dress matched her eyes, and the cut highlighted her amazing figure while still keeping her covered and modest. If this was the result of her having extra time to herself, he wasn’t sure how he was going to keep his attraction to her hidden for long. Instead of waiting until he had rebuilt his reputation and redeemed his honor to the extent he could, he might have to admit to his feelings for his best friend’s sister much sooner. Surely, Ryan would notice his inability to avoid looking at Meghan. Better to be honest than have him worry Basir had improper intentions toward her.

  Yet throughout the meal, Ryan seemed oblivious. He chatted with both Basir and Meghan, appearing as though he hadn’t a care in the world. Hope rose in Basir’s chest as he helped Ryan clear the table while Meghan left the room. Maybe he wouldn’t have to speak up before he was ready after all.

  “I should have talked to you a long time ago,” Ryan said as he stacked dishes in the dishwasher.

  Basir’s blood froze. “Oh?”

  “Yeah. Meghan’s more relaxed this morning than I’ve seen her in a long time.” Ryan smiled and closed the dishwasher. “If I’d talked to you sooner, maybe I could have kept her from being under such a strain for so long.”

  “Would she have listened before now?” Basir drew in a slow breath and released it just as slowly. Ryan wasn’t going to take him to task for looking at Meghan after all.

  “Probably not. She’s as stubborn as me...maybe more so,” Ryan said with a laugh.

  “But that stubbornness has served you well.” He remembered a few times when Ryan’s persistence had done much to help the American cause. “Perhaps it serves her just as well.”

  “Oh, I know for a fact it does. Take a look at this farm and her yarn business. Our parents thought she was nuts for buying this place and going into business for herself. Our dad was sure she would fail in the first year. Our mom figured she would make it two years before having to give it up. But Meghan refused to listen to their dire predictions and similar ones from others, and now six years later her business is still growing.”

  “She has done well for herself.”

  “Yeah, she has. I’m proud of her accomplishments. Now if I could manage to find a job or some kind of career that I love as much as she loves the life she’s built, maybe someone could be proud of my accomplishments.”

  Although his words could have indicated jealousy, Basir heard only sadness in his friend’s voice. He walked over and put a hand on Ryan’s shoulder, looking him in the eye. “Many people are proud of your accomplishments already. Didn’t you receive commendations from your commander? Didn’t your family write to tell you they were proud of you? And didn’t you gain the respect of the village elders when it mattered most?”

  “Yes, but that was all during my time in the marines. I’m a civilian now, and I’ve accomplished nothing other than moving in with my sister because I have no job and no home of my own.” Ryan sighed and shook his head. “Meghan has assured me I can stay here as long as I need to, but I’m starting to feel like I’m a burden to her.”

  “I don’t think she sees you as a burden. You are her brother, and she cares for you.”

  “That’s the problem. She shouldn’t have to take care of me. I’m a marine, for Pete’s sake.” Ryan groaned and thrust his fingers into his hair. “I need to find a way to be independent again.”

  Basir understood the sentiment completely. Having to rely on Ryan and Meghan for care was difficult, but he appreciated their generosity toward a man who had nothing. “Perhaps it is time you sought employment.”

  “I think it is.” Ryan inhaled deeply then blew out the breath. “For today, I need to relax. I can start looking for work tomorrow. Just don’t tell Meghan that’s what I’m planning to do. I don’t want to get her hopes up and then not be able to find a job.”

  “I will not say a word.”

  “I knew I could count on you.”

  They left the kitchen and Meghan met them in the hallway, a purse over her shoulder and a Bible in her hand. “Hey, I almost forgot I have to get to the church early this morning to help set up. If you guys are ready to go, you’re welcome to ride with me.”

  “You go ahead,” Ryan said. “I’ll drive us over in a little while.”

  “All right. I’ll see you there.” She went out the front door.

  Basir wished he could have gone with her, but he didn’t dare unless he wanted Ryan questioning him about his interest in her. He wasn’t ready for that conversation so close to moving in with them. There were still too many things he needed to work through first, too many ways he wasn’t good enough for Meghan. Perhaps someday that would change, but for now he needed to focus on anything but possibly having a relationship with her.

  He rubbed his forehead to relieve the building tension, and Ryan gave him a concerned look.

  “You OK?”

  The pressure eased slightly, and Basir nodded as he lowered his hand. “For now.”

  “Do you need to stay home and rest? It’s OK if you do.”

  Although his doctors would probably recommend it, he couldn’t do it. He needed to go to church today. Faith had always been a mainstay in his life, and he needed the time in worship to get through the coming week.

  “No, I will be OK. I have medicine I can take with me in case a migraine develops.”

  “Well, if you need to leave early, just let me know.”

  “I will.” Basir headed upstairs, praying his headache wouldn’t get any worse before it went away.

  Only a vague ache remained in his skull when they arrived at the small church. Hope rose that perhaps he could avoid worse pain, and he followed Ryan inside. The warm greetings of the congregants lifted Basir’s heart and affirmed he had made the right decision by coming. This fellowship with other believers was what he needed after the turmoil of losing one temporary home and moving into another with a beautiful woman he couldn’t keep out of his thoughts.

  Throughout Sunday school, Basir struggled to concentrate on the lesson. Between Meghan sitting across the room from him and the headache flaring to life, his distraction levels were at an all-time high. The concerned glances Ryan kept giving him didn’t help matters any. By the time the class ended, Basir knew he should have stayed home. Unfortunately, that knowledge did nothing to help him now.

  He followed Ryan to a large room with a table at one end and groups of people scattered around as they talked. The table held a coffee urn and an assortment of cookies, but neither held any appeal for Basir. All he wanted to do was go somewhere dark and quiet and hope the pain stabbing his brain would dissipate quickly.

  “You want some coffee?” Ryan asked as they headed toward the table.

  “No.” Basir drew in a deep breath and slowly released it, knowing it was time to take his meds before his migraine got worse. “Where can I get some water?”

  “In the kitchen.” Ryan studied him briefly. “You look terrible.
”

  “My head is about to explode.”

  “Come with me.”

  Basir followed him through a doorway on the far side of the room. Thankfully, the small kitchen was quieter and vacant of people. He leaned against a counter and closed his eyes as Ryan dug through a cabinet. From the rapidly worsening symptoms, Basir had a feeling the medicine wouldn’t help enough. It might alleviate a little of the pain, but he doubted it would enable him to survive the worship service.

  Footsteps approached, and he opened his eyes, squinting as the light hit his already sensitive eyes. Ryan handed him a foam cup filled with water.

  “Thank you.” Basir pulled the prescription bottle from his pocket. After taking a dose, he shoved the bottle back in his pocket and set the water on the counter. “I hate to say it, but I think I should go home.”

  “That’s fine.” Ryan gripped his shoulder and gave him a sympathetic smile. “I’ll go find Meghan and let her know we’re leaving, then I’ll come back and get you.”

  “All right.” Basir closed his eyes again and hoped the medicine would take effect soon.

  4

  Meghan watched Ryan come out of the kitchen and stop to talk to the pastor. She didn’t see Basir anywhere, however, and that concerned her. He hadn’t looked good during Sunday school. His swarthy skin had been a little pale, and the tightness in his face had left her wondering if he was in pain.

  Before she could ponder his absence any further, Ryan joined her. “Hey, can you run Basir back to the house? A migraine has decided to attack him, and Pastor Joel just reminded me that I’m helping with junior church this morning.”

  “Of course I’ll give him a ride, but will he go with me?”

  “With as miserable as he is right now, I think he will.” Ryan sighed and combed his fingers through his hair. “I really hate putting either one of you in an uncomfortable position, but I’m obligated to stay.”

  Meghan smiled and patted his arm. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll both be fine, and maybe this will help him see that it’s OK to talk to me without a chaperone hanging around.”

  “Maybe.” Ryan released a breath. “Let’s go tell him you’re driving him instead of me.”

  She followed her brother toward the kitchen, prayers for Basir and the coming drive flowing from her heart in a continuous stream. With as reserved as he’d been around her since the moment they met, she had a feeling being alone with her for an extended period was going to be hard on him. Since he was already suffering, she could only hope that his discomfort around her wouldn’t make it worse.

  As soon as they stepped into the kitchen, she spotted Basir sitting on a stool with his head in his hands as he massaged his scalp. From his strained expression, the motion of his fingers wasn’t helping.

  “Change of plans,” Ryan said as he approached his friend. “I forgot I’m helping with the kids this morning, so Meghan’s going to give you a ride.”

  Basir lifted his head, his eyes wide. “Ryan...”

  “It’ll be fine. She’s just going to take you back to the house, and then she’ll leave you alone. I’ll be there as soon as the service ends.”

  Meghan watched his struggle and tried not to feel hurt by his obvious reluctance to go with her. It was a cultural thing, not a personal one. The memory of all his surreptitious glances and Julia’s comments about him liking her were enough to help her remember that. If only he could get past whatever held him back from pursuing any kind of relationship with her, she would agree to a conversation, a date, or whatever he wanted to do so they could get to know each other.

  For now, however, they had to convince him to get in her truck.

  Ryan leaned close to him and said something Meghan couldn’t make out. After a moment, Basir sighed and nodded. Ryan clapped a hand to his shoulder and smiled as he turned to Meghan.

  “I’ll see you guys as soon as I can get out of here.” He left the kitchen.

  She took a hesitant step toward Basir, unsure of how he would react to her approaching. “Are you ready to go?”

  “Yes.” He slid off the stool and grimaced. His eyes closed briefly, and then he looked in her general direction without actually looking at her. He placed his hand over his heart. “I appreciate you giving me a ride. Thank you.”

  “I’m glad to do it.”

  He bowed his head and then straightened and moved to the door. Meghan walked with him through the church and out to the parking lot. As soon as he sat in the passenger seat, he leaned his head back and closed his eyes. Meghan started the engine and drove toward the farm, thankful her brother had been right, but she was also worried. How miserable must Basir be for him to agree so easily to go somewhere alone with a single woman?

  By the time she parked in her usual spot near the back of the house, she’d decided that his headache had to be horrible to make him willing to be alone and unchaperoned with her. Although he hadn’t said anything, his grimaces and occasional soft groans had let her know how much he suffered.

  She shut off the engine and pulled the keys from the ignition. When Basir didn’t move, she spoke quietly. “We’re here.”

  He gave a slight nod and opened his door. Meghan climbed out and let them in the back door of the house. She followed him to the stairs, unsure if he could make it to his room on his own. He seemed a little unsteady. When he started up the stairs, he paused on the third step and grabbed the handrail as he swayed. Worry slammed into her, and she hurried to his side.

  “Are you OK?”

  “A little dizzy.” He closed his eyes and sighed.

  Meghan didn’t want to risk him falling down the steps, so she slipped an arm around his waist. His eyes popped open, and he stared at her.

  “Meghan...” His voice sounded unnaturally tight.

  She lifted his arm and placed it over her shoulders. “I’m just making sure you get to your room without falling. If it helps, think of me as a nurse.”

  “But you are Ryan’s sister.”

  “And you think nurses don’t have brothers?” She shook her head and put her foot on the next step. “Let’s go.”

  They slowly climbed the stairs, and by the time they reached Basir’s room, he was leaning on Meghan for support. She helped him to his bed and eased him onto the mattress. He stretched out with a groan and closed his eyes. Still acting as a nurse, Meghan moved to the foot of the bed, removed his shoes, and set them on the floor. Then she returned to his side and lifted his glasses from his face. As she laid them on the nightstand, Basir opened his eyes and looked up at her.

  She offered a smile. “I’ll go get a cool cloth to place over your eyes. That’s helped me through some awful headaches.”

  She left the room before he could speak and went into the bathroom. Moments later, she returned with a damp, folded washcloth. Basir had closed his eyes again, and a grimace marred his handsome face. Sympathy flooded through her at the sight of his pain, and she moved to his side.

  “Keep your eyes closed,” she said softly. “I’m going to put a damp cloth over them.”

  He did as instructed, and she laid the washcloth in place. Unable to resist, she gently smoothed the thick dark hair away from his forehead.

  “Thank you.” His quiet voice startled her. “Compassion shines brighter through you than Kashmala.”

  Certain it was a compliment but unsure of its meaning, she didn’t know how to reply. Finally, she settled on patting his shoulder. “I’ll get out of here and let you rest. If you need anything, just holler.”

  She left the room, closing the door about halfway, and went downstairs.

  When her brother arrived home, Meghan was in the kitchen making brownies.

  “Hey,” Ryan said as he entered the room. “How’s Basir?”

  “Sleeping, I hope.” She slid the pan into the oven then faced him. “What’s Kashmala?”

  “What?” His eyes widened. “Where did you hear that name?”

  “From Basir.” She peered at him, wondering why he ap
peared so startled by a simple word. “So, Kashmala is a who, not a what?”

  “She was a who, anyway.” He pulled out a chair at the table and dropped into it.

  Meghan joined him, more curious than ever about Basir’s compliment. “Who was she?”

  Ryan stared at the tabletop for several seconds before finally speaking. “Kashmala was his wife. She was killed a few years ago.”

  “Poor Basir.” Tears stung Meghan’s eyes at the thought of such a young man losing his wife.

  “He told me when he found out, but that’s the only time he’s ever mentioned her to me. I didn’t even know he had a wife before that day.” Ryan met Meghan’s gaze. “Why did he mention her to you?”

  “I don’t know.” Now that she knew who Kashmala was, Meghan was more confused than ever. “He said something about compassion shining brighter through me than her.”

  “You’ve really made an impression on him.” Ryan combed his fingers through his short hair. “I should warn you that saying anything to him about Kashmala, even just a sympathetic comment about her death, is probably a bad idea unless he mentions her first. Afghan men tend to be very private when it comes to the women in their families.”

  “Is that why you looked so shocked when I asked about her name?”

  “Yeah. It’s a name I never thought I’d hear again.” Ryan stood and pushed his chair under the table. “I should go check on Basir, see if he needs anything.”

  Meghan watched him leave the room, her mind racing. Why had Basir mentioned the name of his dead wife to a woman he had known only a few days? From what Ryan said, he never talked about her even to people he knew well. Then again, why imply that Meghan was more compassionate than the woman he had married?

  The more she learned about Basir, the less she understood and the more curious she became.

  ~*~

  A familiar double tap on the door sank into Basir’s subconscious, and he opened his eyes to find a blurry version of Ryan standing in the doorway.