Beautiful Life: The Carpino Series

by Brynne Asher

  “I’m good with whatever you want,” I say.

  “Leigh, answer the question,” he pushes.

  “Tone, I don’t care. You pick,” I mumble into my purse, digging around for my lip gloss.

  That’s when I feel him hit the brakes and make a quick turn into a deserted parking lot. I look over to him as he stops the car and throws it into park. Looking around, confused as to why we are parked crooked in the middle of an empty lot at a business complex, I ask, “Why did you stop?”

  Tony unlatches his seat belt and turns fully to me, his left hand shooting out to catch me behind the neck pulling me close to his face.

  “Tony! What are you--” I start before he interrupts me.

  “That is not us,” he states.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I am not him,” he states again.

  That statement shut me right the hell up and I have to pull in a breath of air.

  His next words come out hushed, “You’ve come a long way, gem. You gave me you last night and in the process told me you were happy. You know I love you, but what you need to learn and what I’m gonna teach you is when you love someone you care what they want. I care that your work makes you happy. I care that you want a dog and want to give you one because you’ve never had one before. I care that you want to sleep in your new apartment because it’s yours and that means something to you even though I’m not happy you got an apartment, so we’re sleeping there tonight. Even though it’s a clown car, I care that you have what you want even though it makes me crazy and I wanted you in something bigger. And gem,” he says pulling me even closer so I can feel his breath on my lips. “When you want something to eat, I care that you have what you’re hungry for.”

  Tears start to form in my eyes and I see he sees them too even though the sun has almost set and the low light from the late winter day is all we have filtering in around us. I pull my lips in and close my eyes. I feel the muscles in his hand tense at my neck and open my eyes to look at him.

  His hushed voice continues, “Sweetheart, I am not him. Whatever he conditioned you to do, I’ve gotta work that out of your system. I’ll stop the car and get in your face about it every time if I have to. But one day, you won’t have to think twice, you’ll know that I care. I care about what you want and I want to give it to you. I am not him. That is not us. That is not what we are building here. Do you get me?”

  My tears spill over and I nod my head that I get him.

  “Okay, now that we’ve got that straight, you’re hungry. All we’ve had today is breakfast and ice cream. I want you to tell me gem, what do you have a taste for?” his almost black eyes searing into mine, communicating the importance of his question.

  I pull in a trembled breath and whisper back, “Spinach enchiladas and cheesy potatoes.”

  Those almost black eyes smile into mine. His other hand comes up and his thumbs wipe my face as he holds my head in his big hands murmuring, “Then that’s what you’re gonna get.”

  He pulls me in to him and kisses me softly, lingering into a perfect kiss. He barely pulls back and says against my lips, “Call it in, sweetheart, so I can feed you. I’ll have the tilapia.”

  I nod again, trying to swallow the lump in my throat and control my emotions. He pulls me in for another soft kiss, lets me go, belts up and pulls out of the parking lot.

  I do my best to gather myself and google the number for my favorite Mexican restaurant. I’m able to pull it together enough to order our dinners for take-out while Tony grabs my other hand giving me a squeeze.

  I disconnect the call and feel Tony pull my hand up to his mouth to kiss the tips of my fingers and he says to the windshield, “Love you, gem.”

  I don’t have the courage to respond in any way. But I do squeeze his hand back and he looks over at me. All I can manage is a shaky smile and nod my head in acknowledgement. He gives me back his smile, warm and steady, just like always. I look back to the road and do my best to let all of what he said settle over me, scaring me all the same.

  I feel different than I used to. I act different than I used to. Even I think I’ve come a long way. But I don’t even realize what I’m doing half the time because it’s become my nature out of necessity to survive during my years with Preston. Tony calling me on it is as scary as Tony recognizing it, but Tony doesn’t miss much when it comes to me. This should not continue to surprise me, even though it catches me by surprise every single time.

  Tony leaves me to my thoughts as he goes in to get our dinner and then drives straight to my apartment. Recovering from my drama, I’m pulling up the rear as Tony waits while I dig for my keys to unlock the door. I fumble with my purse, groceries and keys, reaching around him to unlock the door saying, “Go on in, honey, you’ve got the food.”

  Tony pushes the door with his foot, heads in and I follow. But I’m still trying to shuffle everything around in my arms when I run right into the back of Tony, who has stopped inside my doorway and I hear him belt out, “What the fuck?”

  “Tony--?” I ask and start to step around him, but he keeps talking.

  “Stop Leigh, stay where you are,” his voice, rough and demanding. “Why in the fuck are you here and how did you get in?”

  At the sound of Tony’s voice, I stop ridged and move in close to the back of him. I peak around him at the same time I hear the familiar, but not welcoming voice, for the first time in many years spill like venom, “Well, well, well. What do we have here?”

  “Mom?” I whisper, unable to control the surprise in my own voice.

  But there’s no question. There she is, Sheila Johnson, in all her glory. My mother sitting on my sofa, scooched down like she’s in the middle of watching a movie and was settled in for the night. I haven’t seen her in three years since she moved to South Dakota with the last idiot she tied herself to. Her hair is blonde, but fake blonde and she’s about four weeks overdue of needing her roots done. She has dark circles around her brown eyes and the lines around her mouth are deeper and more set than they were the last time I saw her. Her face and voice show the signs of a smoker even if I didn’t know she was one my whole life. She’s tall, my height, but I can still see her frame is thinner and bonier than her normal bony-thin frame. She looks way older than she should for her fifty three years, her lifestyle taking a toll on her body. Her clothes are skanky and tight as usual, not a good look for anyone, even on a more youthful skank than her.

  Once Preston and I were married, he made no bones about how he felt about my family, which is probably one of the only things we ever agreed on. He made certain she and my sister knew they weren’t wanted in our house, just one more unpleasantry I had to deal with.

  “Always knew,” she says, strangely.

  “What are you doing here?” Tony asks, not caring what she’s referring to.

  “Always knew you were no better,” she elaborates.

  “How did you get in here?” Tony keeps on.

  But she ignores him and continues, “Always thought your shit didn’t stink. Always acting high and mighty with all your fancy-ass friends and going to college, gettin’ yourself a hospital job. Then you landed a rich husband, livin’ in a big ‘ole fancy house. But you’re no better, just like I always knew.”

  My heart is beating through my chest listening to her spew her words at me, words I’m used to hearing from my mother. I glue myself to the side of Tony’s back, but I feel him move, bend at the waist on a small step forward to dump our food on the coffee table between us and my mother. Dropping the groceries to the floor, I feel his arm and hand come to my lower hip and thigh holding me back at the same time holding me tight to him.

  “I’ll ask you one more time, and you’d better start talking to me instead of Leigh. How in the fuck did you get in here?”

  “You’re new,” she says, looking Tony up and down, ignoring his question once again.

  “I don’t care that you’re Leigh’s mother. I’m calling the police in two secon
ds if you don’t tell me how you got into this apartment,” Tony says.

  “I’m her mother,” my mother states the obvious. Then she smiles saccharine sweet, going on, “Her loving mama who hasn’t seen her in years and wanted to surprise her with a homecoming visit and the nice maintenance man let me in.”

  I feel Tony’s body tense and I’m all of a sudden nervous for the maintenance man.

  “How did you know where she lives?” Tony bites out, barely controlling his rage.

  All of a sudden, my mother starts feeling cooperative, “Well, even though I don’t know who you are, or the fact that my daughter is now divorced,” she says, slicing her eyes to me. “I went to your home. The home you shared with who I thought was your husband, but now I know isn’t your husband anymore. He was the one to tell me my daughter is now divorced and I could find you here,” she said, flipping her hands out toward the surroundings of my tiny studio apartment. “Is this all you can afford after being married to that rich man?”

  I ignore her last comment because I have to grab the back of Tony’s jacket and hold on tight to stay standing. I thought I felt rage emanating from his body before, but nothing compared to now. I grab on tight and pull myself to him, still holding my bag, three bags of groceries and my dress now squished between us.

  “Tony,” I whisper.

  “He knows where you live,” Tony bites out, looking to the side and down to me.

  “Tony--” I keep on, my voice sounding strangled.

  “He’s watching you and he knows where you live, even though you just moved in and there’s a restraining order,” he continues, stating the scary facts that are obvious to me with his face set in stone and rage billowing.

  “Tony?” my mother asks, as she lowers her feet from my cool coffee table Gabby refinished for me. She leans forward as if she’s taking a good look at Tony for the first time, puts her elbows to her knees and asks again spewing her venom, “Carpino?”

  “Mom,” I start.

  “You’re with a fucking Carpino?” she says in a malicious voice.

  That’s it. I immediately start to pull around Tony, letting go of him and spew right back at her, “Don’t you dare!”

  But Tony grabs me at my waist before I can make it around him and pulls my back to his front. He takes a step back as my mother starts in with her normal hate, “Always the Carpinos. So fucking perfect. I never stood a chance up against The Gabrielle Carpino with her perfect parents and family. ‘Gabby this, Gabby that’ for fucking ever! And you left your husband for him?”

  I throw everything in my arms to the floor, doing my best to get out of Tony’s hold so I can rip my mother’s hair out. I forget about her breaking into my apartment and the scary fact Preston must be keeping tabs on me. I can’t think of one thing besides her spewing her hate and venom about Tony, my friend and their family who have shown me nothing but compassion and love, not to mention I hate the fact Tony has to share the air she breathes.

  But I feel a second arm lock around me as Tony pulls me in tighter to him. Before I can think of what to scream and yell at her, Tony asks again, seething, “Why are you here?”

  She looks at Tony and then back to me. I see her swallow and purse her lips together when she says, “Tina’s in trouble.”

  My body slumps in Tony’s arms.

  Tina. Of course.

  My stupid, stupid sister.

  “What trouble now?” I ask.

  “She scared. Says she has people after her. Says she needs money to pay them off,” my mom says, looking uncomfortable for the first time since we walked in on her sitting in my apartment waiting for me.

  “You mean she owes her dealer money?” I surmise. “Unbelievable. You came all the way here and think you’re going get money out of me to pay off my sister’s dealer? What’s it for this time? Is she still a ‘recreational’ user or has she moved on to the big stuff? Huh mom? Blow, acid? Prescription drugs? What’s she into now?”

  “She needs help, Leigh-Leigh,” my mom says, almost softly.

  “Don’t you dare call me that,” I say. “I can’t believe you came to me for money, and for drugs of all things!”

  “She said this is it, Leigh. She said she’ll get help, she’ll quit,” my mother’s voice starts to panic.

  “Right, I’ve heard that before,” I say.

  “Get out,” Tony demands. “She’s not giving you a dime. Get out. Now.”

  “But I don’t have anywhere to go,” my mom says. She starts talking directly to me, “I’m staying with you, Leigh.”

  “There’s no way you’re staying with Leigh,” Tony stresses.

  “Leigh, you have to help her,” my mom starts to plead to me. “I asked Preston, but he said you got plenty of money in the divorce and sent me on my way. She’s scared. You have to do something.”

  “I’m not giving her money,” I say.

  “What else is there to do?” she says.

  “You can stay here,” Tony butts in. I turn to look up at him not believing what he is saying, but he lets go of me, moves me back and steps in between my mother and I. He looks down at me and goes on, “You’re coming home with me. She can stay here.” He looks back to my mother as he digs his wallet out of his pocket. “Is Tina still in Florida?”

  “Yeah, near Destin,” my mother answers, looking relieved she isn’t being kicked out.

  Tony sighs and pulls his business card out of his wallet and shoves it toward my mother saying, “My cell is on this card. You get Tina’s information to me. You communicate with me, not Leigh. You get that? I don’t know what we’ll do, but Leigh is not paying off a dealer. We’ll come up with something, but do you get me when I say to you, she will not give you a penny? You can stay in this apartment and eat this food, but that’s it. If Leigh doesn’t want to see or talk to you, she won’t.”

  “What are you going to do?” my mother panics.

  “Get me her information, anything you know about the situation. Text it to me. I’ll be in contact with you tomorrow,” Tony says. He leans down to pick up our dinner and turns to me to say softly, “Get your bag, sweetheart but leave the groceries here with her and give her your key.”

  I don’t pick up my bag because I can’t move. I stand here and stare up at him. I cannot believe my mother is here and she wants money to pay off my sister’s drug dealer. How did this happen? I just had the best weekend of my life and it ends like this? My freaking family, so screwed up. They found a way to mar what should have been the most precious memories I’ve ever had.

  “Gem,” Tony calls. I focus on his face as he leans close and says, “Let me take you home.”

  I woodenly bend to pick up my bag, toss my key to the coffee table and barely look at my mother who is now carefully surveying Tony and I. I move to the door with Tony behind me. Without another word to my mother we leave, Tony pulling the door shut behind us and we walk away from my new apartment. I walk directly to the passenger side of Tony’s Explorer, he beeps the locks and I climb in. He’s right behind me standing in my open door, hands me the Mexican take-out and lifts his hand to my cheek, his eyes sweeping my face. Not saying a word, he steps back and swings my door shut.

  How does he do that? He always knows when to get in my face at the same time when to give me the space and silence I need. If I wasn’t already freaked out, that would freak me out more.

  But I take advantage of the silence he knows I need and close my eyes, dropping my head back to the seat rest not believing the nightmare we just walked into. Thinking I was happy was crazy. Asinine. This is my life and as much as I want to get away from it, it always finds me, catching up with me, messing up everything beautiful I think I’ve found.

  But the worst part is now I’m dragging Tony away from the beauty and down the ugly road that is my life.

  Ugly.

  Always ugly.

  Chapter 14 - You’ve Claimed It

  “I’ll call DEA in Tallahassee first thing in the morning. They can reach out
to locals in Destin, see if they can locate her. I’ll give them the background, see if they can do me any favors and we’ll find out if she’s really in trouble. If she’s a junkie like you’re sayin, she could be making this shit up just to weasel money out of her sister or she could really be in deep with her dealers. My guess, it could be a bit of both. Let me find out what I can and I’ll get back with you sometime tomorrow.”

  “I appreciate it. Looks like I owe you big with all this on top of you taking the lead on my embezzlement case with Jude gone. Now you’re calling in favors to other agencies in Florida, name your poison,” I say to Mac over my cell as I stand in my kitchen looking out toward my backyard into the black of night. Mac is Jude’s cohort at the FBI who’s helping with my case while he and Gabby are on their honeymoon. Who knew I’d need yet another favor from him.

  “Not to worry,” Mac chuckles. “Just make it a large bottle of Makers instead of a small one.”

  “Done,” I say. “I’ll wait to hear from you tomorrow. And thanks again.”

  “No worries. Later,” he says and we disconnect. I set my phone down on the island and immediately turn to move toward my bedroom.

  Once we got home from Leigh’s apartment we ate dinner. Or should I say, I ate dinner and Leigh picked at hers while staring into space not saying a thing. Her face was void of expression, she was deep in thought and as much as it killed me, I left her to it. We were just finishing cleaning up from dinner when, like lightening through our strangled silence, my phone dinged with a text.

  Leigh jumped and her emerald eyes shot to mine. She was wound so fucking tight, it wouldn’t surprise me if she exploded. I pulled in a calming breath so I wouldn’t throw my fucking phone across the fucking room like I wanted to. Then I walked straight to her, grabbed her hand without interrupting our strangled silence, pulled her straight through the family room, bedroom and into my bathroom. I flipped on the taps to the tub, let go of her and went to my closet to grab my robe.

  When I walked out of the closet, she starts, “Tony--”