by Brynne Asher
Trying not to let that feeling seep into me that Tony and I have plans like people have when they’re couples, I say, “I’ll have to see if Tony wants to go.”
“Oh, Tony will go if you want to go. Gabby and Jude will be there, it’s the weekend after next and they’ll be back from the honeymoon by then. Oh,” Paige screams out of nowhere. “You should be Madonna! Like the early Madonna. Like, Like a Virgin and Material Girl Madonna. Maybe we can talk Tony into being Sean Penn.”
“I don’t know,” I say hesitantly, but grinning with the thought of Tony dressed up as anything eighties. “What are you going as?”
“I’m gonna be a roller skater.”
“A roller skater?” I ask.
“Yep. It’s gonna be a blast! I can’t wait,” she says, her face expressing the fact that she, in fact, cannot wait.
“I’ll talk to Gabby. If she and Jude are going, I’m sure I can talk Tony into going,” I say.
“Leigh,” she starts. “You don’t have to talk my brother into anything. You say you want to go, he’ll go. Trust me on this. We’ve all decided you’ve whipped my brother big time, this is proven by the fact that come this weekend he’ll be the proud owner of a Golden Doodle.”
My eyes widen and I press my lips together, not knowing what to do with the information that I’ve whipped Tony into anything.
But before I think of what to say, Paige chirps like we are at a slumber party or something, “What do you want to do first?”
“Well…” I start, looking at the clock because it’s all of seven forty five in the morning. Paige has a lot of energy, I might need another cup of coffee to keep up with her all day.
I guess I didn’t think of something to do fast enough, because Paige starts talking again, “I don’t need to start working on dinner til around one or so this afternoon. Tony has On Demand and I’m behind on Spartacus. Do you watch that?”
I shake my head no while asking, “You do?”
“Just discovered it. I’m catching up watching past seasons. I know, it’s bloody and gruesome, but heavens to betsy, the men are hot! Big, muscly, and tan I might add, all fighting each other. Even fighting to the death. In their underwear. And,” she pauses, putting both hands up, palms facing me, “sometimes in slow motion.”
I smile and giggle at her, “I can’t think of anything better to watch over coffee.”
Paige smiles back and lets out a little “Yay!” We move off our stools with our coffee and head to Tony’s family room where Paige adds, “It’s going to be even better on Tony’s big fancy TV.”
At almost eight o’clock in the morning, Paige introduces me to almost naked, hot, muscly (and tan) men fighting grisly, gory, battles over coffee.
She was right. It was great.
Chapter 15 – Soon
“Faster, gem.”
“Honey--”
“That’s it, sweetheart. I feel you.”
His hand moves from my breast where his fingers are working my nipple, down my body to between my legs where I’m straddling him. His thumb goes directly to my clit pressing and circling while his hips surge up, pressing into me. My head lulls back and I moan, my orgasm washing over me and I feel Tony’s other hand, strong at my hip pulling me down hard on his shaft as he knifes up at the waist. He tips my head toward his and his mouth hits mine, drinking up my moans as my body shakes.
“Keep moving,” he murmurs against my lips. “Take me there.”
“Yes,” I agree quickly as he lies back down and I start to move fast.
“So beautiful,” he grunts looking up at me. “Your legs, fuck. They go on forever.”
“Tony,” I say, but I’m out of breath, wanting to give it to him as good as he always gives me.
His hand reaches for mine and pulls it between my legs, “Make yourself come again. I want to watch you.”
Oh my.
I start to touch myself where I’m still a little sensitive and I try to concentrate on him, but it’s hard. His eyes are hot and burning looking straight down his body to between my legs, watching me work myself for him.
“Fuck,” he mutters and I feel his hands come to my thighs and move up my hips to help me move as he thrusts up at the same time.
“Oh,” I gasp and have to lean forward putting a hand to his chest to hold myself up as I come quick for a second time. All I can do is press down hard on him as he thrusts into me three more times before pulling my hips down hard when he comes. I collapse to his chest where he nuzzles the side of my face while his hand is cupping the other side.
We lay here connected and let our breathing even out. I feel his lips come to my ear where he breathes, “Love you, gem.”
Again, I don’t say anything but acknowledge him silently like I always do when he tells me he loves me, this time squeezing him tight with my arms and legs.
“There’ll never be anything better than this. Ever,” he keeps on.
“Tone,” I breathe into the side of this neck.
“Never,” he says, full of emotion and resolution.
There he goes again, giving to me beyond measure. And here I go again, taking everything from him, unable to give back. I know how I feel about him but I can’t make myself express it. Hating myself for not being able tell him how I feel or even what it means that he’s given me everything by actions and words.
But just as my heart is warring with my head, I hear an excited single, “Ruff!” coming from elsewhere in the house.
Tony stills immediately, then presses up into me one more time while I giggle.
We’ve had Finny for two days. Finny is fun. Finny is energetic. Finny is lovable. And Finny is an early riser.
“Shit,” Tony mutters into my hair.
“Maybe we woke him up,” I say through my giggles.
Tony grins up at me, “If one of us woke him up, it was you, sweetheart.”
“Tony!” I yell, lightly slapping his arm for good measure. “You’re the one that talks. I’m pretty sure it was you who woke him up.”
Tony loses his grin and his eyebrows rise in question, “I talk?”
“Ruff!”
“Well, yeah,” I say, as if I was saying ‘duh’. “You talk. I like it, but you do talk.”
“I talk,” he repeats.
“Yeah,” again like ‘duh’.
He rolls me in the bed quickly, never losing our connection and his eyebrows go from raised to frowning as he tips his head to glare at me, “I don’t talk.”
“I didn’t say I don’t like it, honey. I do. I was just making the point it could be you who woke up Finny. I’m not the only one making noise,” I defend myself. I mean, I really can’t help it, he’s the one making me make the noises I can’t help but make.
“Ruff!”
“Whatever,” he says. He leans down and kisses me, “I’ve gotta get rid of this condom. I’ll let him out, you can stay here. We don’t have to be at the airport for another three hours.”
“Okay,” I say, then add, “I’ll go to the doctor this week, get a prescription so I can start birth control again after my next period.”
“Ruff, ruff!”
Tony pulls out of me, kisses me quickly and says, “Don’t do that.”
This time my eyebrows go up in surprise, but he’s already on his way to the bathroom. He doesn’t want me to be on birth control? What guy wouldn’t want the woman he’s sleeping with to be on birth control? I mean, I thought most guys wouldn’t want to mess with condoms if they didn’t have to.
Tony walks out of the bathroom in a pair of sweatpants and nothing else, so I call, “What do you mean, ‘don’t do that?’”
“Hang on sweetheart, I’ve gotta let the dog out,” he says, walking out of the room.
All of the sudden, a weight hits my chest like a brick. Is he worried about having unprotected sex with me? All of a sudden I want to escape and die. Tony knows Preston cheated on me regularly. I was tested in the hospital for everything when I lost the baby and I even had my
doctor do blood tests again a few months later just to be sure. I was clean both times, thank goodness. Tony says he loves me but he must be worried after my past with Preston.
I hear the back door open and close. If I was thinking, I should have taken this opportunity to escape, get out of bed, get dressed and mentally prepare for what’s to come.
But I’m so shocked I barely get a foot to the floor before Tony is back in the room, sees me getting out of bed and says, “Where are you going?”
“I need to get ready,” I say, not making eye contact with him.
I try to reach for his t-shirt on the floor while holding the sheet to my body, but Tony grabs the shirt out of my hand and tosses it across the room, saying, “We have lots of time, gem.”
I try not to look at him, the brick in my chest is pressing hard and digging deep. Tony yanks the sheet out of my hand, puts his to my belly and pushes me back down into the bed.
“I want to get up and get ready,” I say.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, looking into my eyes, a frown playing on his face.
“Nothing,” I lie. “I’m just worried about what today will bring.”
“Today’s gonna suck, but what else is wrong?” he asks, reading me like a book, just like he always does.
“Nothing,” I keep lying.
“Sweetheart, three minutes ago you were talking to me about doing away with condoms and now you won’t look me in the eye. I’m not giving you space on this. What’s wrong,” he demands.
I sigh. He’s not letting up and I don’t know what to do or say to get him to leave me alone. He’s covered me with his body, pinning me to the bed. I look toward his shoulder, not able to look him in the eye.
“Leigh?” he calls.
I feel my eyes flutter to his face at the sound of his voice. Sweet, calm, patient. Everything Tony is with me. Perfect. But I can’t be perfect for him with my awful past, he still thinks he needs to protect himself when it comes to me.
“Don’t go into your head again. Talk to me,” he says softly.
“You don’t need to worry,” I blurt out. “I’m clean.”
His brow furrows pulling deeply together, “What are you talking about?”
“I’ve been tested,” I say quickly. “Twice. Either I lucked out or Preston was smart enough to be careful when he cheated on me. But I’m clean.”
His brow goes from furrowed to smooth and his eyes soften on me as he mutters, “Did you think I was worried about you?”
“Well, unless you just really like them, why else would you want to keep using condoms?”
“Sweetheart, I’m not worried about you. But since we’re getting it all out in the open, I’ve been tested, too. When we have nothing between us, we can both breathe easy,” he says.
“Oh,” I say. Still not understanding, but at this point I think I’d rather wonder than talk any more on the subject.
Of course Tony isn’t done talking, “Gem, look at me.”
He’s still pinning me to the bed, I don’t have to look far to see the warmth in his eyes and the soft look on his face.
“I don’t want you to have to go on the pill, just to go off the pill,” he explains, albeit, not making sense at the same time.
“What are you talking about?”
He leans down to kiss me softly and barely pulls back. I feel his breath on my lips when he explains, “When you’re mine in a permanent and real way, which I hope will be soon, I don’t want you on the pill. And I don’t want to use condoms. I can’t wait for that, Leigh.”
“What?” I ask, barely able to hear myself.
“I’m ready. You’re ready, whether you think you are or not. We’ve got a dog and our dog is gonna need some kids,” he grins at me.
“Well, maybe. Eventually.”
Tony’s grin becomes a smile and he says, “Not maybe. And not eventually. Soon.”
“Soon?”
“Soon.”
“How soon?”
“Pretty soon, gem.”
I feel my body go limp underneath his, closing my eyes. Honestly. He’s thinking of kids already? How can he be so sure about everything? Me? Us? Especially me? I mean, I’m pretty sure I’m still semi screwed up.
“Sweetheart,” he calls, giving me a little squeeze. “Get dressed. We’ll walk Fin before we get ready to go to the airport. We’ve got a long day and he’ll be pinned up a while. A tired dog is a good dog. He needs a walk.”
He starts moving to get up, but I grab his arms to halt his process and say, “Tony, we need to talk about this.”
He comes down to the bed by my side this time, framing my face with his hands and he whispers with meaning, “For me, gem, don’t go on the pill yet. Hold off for now. You forget how patient I am. I’ve got all the time in the world for you. Don’t think about it and don’t stress it. Let’s keep things the way they are for now, okay?”
Just like all things Tony, he wears me down and honestly, if he’s going tell me not to think about something, I’m not going to think about it. That’s for sure.
“Okay,” I whisper.
He smiles down at me and says, “Good. Get dressed, I’ll go get Fin and make coffee. We’ll make breakfast when we get back.”
With that, he leans in to kiss me one more time and he’s off to get Finny and make coffee. But I can’t move. I’m still in shock from everything he just said to me. I lay here thinking about babies for Tony, kids for Finny and not in the far future, but the near enough future Tony doesn’t want me to go on the pill.
Holy shit. I’m in serious trouble.
*****
I tear the check out of my checkbook and hand it over to the manager of the treatment center we just checked my sister into. It’s late Sunday and the end of yet another eventful week.
My days at work have changed to Wednesday, Thursday and Friday’s every week, unless I want to add overtime. After work on Friday, Tony and I went to get Finny and brought him to Tony’s house. He’s rambunctious, cute and absolutely one hundred percent perfect. We spent all day Saturday hanging out at Tony’s house playing with Finny.
It took Mac most of the week to track down Tina, but they found her in Panama Beach. Mac told Tony she was running in circles that were downright scary. From what they could tell she really did owe her dealer a large amount of money, but there was no way we could really know if she was telling the truth about exactly how much she owed. Because of the information Mac supplied local law enforcement in Florida, her dealer is at least temporarily out of commission and behind bars.
Dealing with Tina was another story altogether. My mom wanted me to send her money, which I refused to do. When I talked to her on the phone Friday, she broke down and said she needed help. She’s done this before, but there’s no way I can deny her help if I have the resources to help her when she’s asking for it. She also begged to come home, so I decided to make that happen, too. I mean, what else am I going to do with all that money I got from my divorce?
The police followed up on Tony’s report about Preston keeping tabs on me while under the restraining order. Unfortunately, there was no way they can prove he’s doing what he’s doing, whatever that might be. They left issuing him a warning and reminding him of all the conditions of the restraining order. A trial date is yet to be set and Tony informed me this week it looks like Preston’s attorneys are trying to plea bargain with the DA’s office for a lesser charge so he will escape jail time. Tony isn’t happy and I have to say the whole thing makes me a bit nervous, but what can I do? As usual, I’ve decided not to think about it. I have enough to think about right now.
Today is Sunday and if I wasn’t freaking out enough about Tina flying back to Omaha to check into a treatment center, I would be freaking out about Tony wanting me to be his in a permanent and real way sooner rather than eventually. And if I wasn’t freaked out enough about all that, I’d be freaked out about Tony not wanting me on birth control so we can make babies for him and kids for Finny. All of th
is and my mom is still staying at my apartment I have yet to sleep in for one measly night.
Basically, I have plenty to freak out about right now.
Tina walked out of the airport with the drug counselor, who I also paid to fly here with her so she won’t have to be by herself. I almost didn’t recognize my own sister. Tina is two years older than me, but now she looks many years past her age. Her dark blond hair is thin and stringy, her skin grey and drab. Her clothes are old and worn, hanging on her body and her hazel eyes are sunken with dark circles surrounding them.
The minute she sees me, her face screws up and she starts crying. She comes straight into my arms where I hold her tight. Once I calm her down, Tony and I load her up and take her straight to the treatment center. Along with all the toiletries and bags of new clothes I bought for her before she got here. I had a feeling she wouldn’t have much of anything and I was right.
I contacted a drug treatment center in Panama Beach and she checked herself in there for a few days until we could get her here. The treatment center I chose here is the best in the area, but also the most expensive. I can afford it and this is her chance to turn her life around, I’m just praying she’ll make the best of it.
“She’s still detoxing and will be for at least the next few days. We say no visitors for the first week. We’ll see how she’s doing and let you know when you can see her. I know you paid upfront for the treatment, but I have to remind you, this is a voluntary treatment plan. We can’t make her stay. We will encourage her, but will not force her. She can walk away anytime she chooses,” the manager explains.
“I know. We read the paperwork and were told when I called to reserve her spot last week,” I say, putting my checkbook back in my purse as I feel Tony come up to my side fitting himself against me. I ask, “I can call and check on her, right?”
“Absolutely. We want you to. This is a precious gift you’re giving your sister, hopefully she’ll take advantage of it,” the manager encourages.
