Navy Hope

by Krotow, Geri

  Chapter One

  January

  Lucas Derringer felt as though he was on a clandestine SEAL mission. He wasn’t in a hot dirt bowl ready to take down Taliban fighters, nor was he in a sweaty swamp waiting for the right moment to rescue yet another operative who’d been captured by a tyrannical drug lord. He hadn’t done any of those things in over a decade. Now he treated the men and women who did, as a psychiatrist with post-combat mental trauma expertise.

  Who knew that taking a break from his usual routine would trigger such a storm of anxiety?

  Instead of fighting for his country in some godforsaken place, Lucas was on a Puget Sound ferry in the middle of what his new job description called “God’s Country.” The wind blew cold as it cleared the morning fog and revealed the majesty of fir-topped mountains that spilled down to the rocky shore. Gulls and eagles soared above him. He’d never seen a more beautiful sight.

  He’d never felt more nauseous.

  Being away from the sea and airplanes for so long had robbed him of his immunity to motion sickness. He suspected that not being the one piloting the ferry was part of the reason he’d been seasick—and thrown up over the side rail. If only he could’ve simply crossed a bridge after his grueling drive from D.C. But San Juan Island was too far from the mainland and a ferry was his one option.

  He’d turned into a landlubber.

  Focus on the beauty. This is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. You’re getting everything you’ve ever dreamed of.

  Except for the one woman he’d expected to settle down with. Betsy.

  He fought the urge to pull out his cell phone and start scrolling through his Facebook newsfeed, to see if any of his friends had posted photos of her wedding. He understood the importance of facing his feelings, not running away. Hell, his whole career was based on that concept.

  Betsy had made her choice and it hadn’t been Lucas. When she’d left she’d said she didn’t want to settle down, but he knew better. They weren’t a good fit; for one thing, they were too much alike.

  But he’d loved her.

  That was three years ago. Before he’d had a chance to get used to being a doctor.

  Yesterday she’d married a man she’d met right after their break-up. Another doctor.

  He was over her but his pride still stung.

  “Son of a bitch,” he muttered into the wind as he grasped the ferry’s railing and willed his stomach to stop heaving. Puget Sound during a winter squall was no match for his out-of-practice traveling skills.

  His job in D.C. was three thousand miles away. He could start relaxing—as soon as this blasted ship docked.

  Think about something else.

  The new job.

  The new boss.

  Ironically, the most important woman in his life at the moment was a woman he hadn’t seen since they were just kids, sophomores in college. Did she remember him?

  You know she does. You’ve never forgotten her.

  Chapter Two

  As the boat continued its lurching journey, Lucas focused on Valentina DiPaola, owner and director of Beyond the Stars military family healing retreat, and once his first real girlfriend after high school. They’d been together for an entire semester before he’d had to leave unexpectedly at the end of sophomore year. His family in Philadelphia had shattered, thanks to his father’s drinking and his mother’s nervous breakdown. He was the oldest child and his little sister had needed him to be a steady care provider. His dreams of joining the military had been delayed but he’d managed to finish his degree locally, then serve in Navy Special Forces for a couple of tours before he started medical school.

  He’d never told Val what a mess his family was. That wasn’t something he’d been willing to do when he was twenty, and when he’d matured enough to realize he had nothing to be ashamed of, it didn’t matter anymore. She was long out of his life; too much time had passed.

  He was grateful that Val hadn’t rejected his application for this counselor’s position. She’d communicated through her assistant from their very first reply to his email inquiry about the open counselor’s job.

  He thought she’d nix it when she read his résumé and found out who he was.

  But she’d been more concerned that he wasn’t a counselor but in fact a psychiatrist. There’d been a brief flurry of questions about his being overqualified for the position, but when he’d agreed to the full six-month employment period she’d hired him. She’d explained that the six-month term was a benefit to both parties: Beyond the Stars was located on San Juan Island, a remote part of the country accessible only by ferry or airplane. Val knew she couldn’t expect employees to sign on for longer, at least until they’d seen the place. It was beneficial to him as the employee, since he’d be free to leave at the end of six months, which Lucas planned to. The time on San Juan was his respite from what he considered his primary calling.

  His specialty was helping war veterans, especially those with PTSD. The six-month leave of absence from his job at Walter Reed was a sabbatical of sorts. He wouldn’t be dealing with vets at Beyond the Stars but instead, the families left behind by those who’d died in the service. The wartime widows, widowers and surviving children.

  Gold Star families.

  You’ll be working for a woman again.

  That was how he’d fallen in love with Betsy; she’d been the hospital’s Head of Psychiatry when he’d done his residency. Long hours, intense cases at a wartime pace made emotions run high and created an insistent need for release.

  Betsy had been there. Ten years older than Lucas, she seemed to want the same things he did. A partnership, and not just on hospital rounds or in bed. A lifetime commitment.

  She’d let him down gently, but he could still hear the roaring in his ears as she’d explained that she was accepting a position in another city; she needed a change.

  Taking their relationship to Chicago with her wasn’t part of the plan.

  It’d been a mistake to get involved with his boss, a mistake he wouldn’t make again. Judging by her lack of interest in him other than the professional, Val didn’t care about their previous attachment. He hoped she was married and completely unavailable. She still used her maiden name, but a lot of married women did. Even if she was single, he was only here for six months. After that he needed to get back to the real world, wherever and whatever he decided that would be.

  The deck shifted beneath his feet and the vibration of the motor ceased. As the ferry docked, he turned to walk back to his car, ready to drive onto the tiny island that would be his home and workplace for the next half year.

  Chapter Three

  “I appreciate your time, sir, but Beyond the Stars is non-profit and I intend to keep it that way.”

  Val rolled her eyes at Maggie, her assistant, as she listened to the umpteenth investor who wanted to buy out her resort and make her a very rich woman.

  “It’s not about the money, it’s about the military families who need healing. I’m sorry to cut you off, but I’m late for a meeting.”

  She stopped herself from slamming down the phone, setting it back on its base with a quiet click.

  “Meeting?” Maggie’s blue eyes twinkled in her flushed face.

  “Yeah, with you. We always have a meeting on the schedule, right?”

  They both laughed and Val let the sound wash over her.

  “Thank God my brother left me the money he did,” she said. “Much as I hated accepting it at first, it’s been the cushion we need, so we didn’t have to make this a commercial resort.” She’d argued with her brother’s widow over not taking the money, but her sister-in-law insisted it was what Chet had wanted. He’d left his family well-insured, prepared for the worst-case scenario.

  “You’re doin
g well with the grants from the various veterans’ associations, plus the fundraising we do. And as long as families leave with something positive after their week at Beyond the Stars, what more can you ask for?”

  “For the rest of the world to leave us alone.” Val tapped her fingers on the side of her soda can. “I want this place to stay special, to be the safe haven it’s meant to be. I know we need to press to keep the private donations coming in, but it brings in some unwanted attention, too.”

  “You’re doing great, Val,” Maggie said again. “Your brother would be so proud of you.” Maggie fanned herself with a Beyond the Stars brochure. “He died too young, honey, a true hero. This is what he would’ve wanted you to do. I have no doubt that the families who come here are blessed with some peace.”

  “I’m not denying that, Maggie. I just have to make sure our finances stay in the black.” Val’s heart ached whenever anyone mentioned Chet. She’d never get over losing her baby brother to the war in Afghanistan. But Maggie was right. Beyond the Stars made a difference for other Gold Star families.

  Maggie continued to fan herself.

  “You okay?” Val asked. She didn’t like the beet-red tone of Maggie’s skin.

  Maggie groaned. “I’m perfectly healthy. These personal ‘power moments’ are all part of a normal menopause, according to Doc Maura.”

  Val wanted to give Maggie a big hug but knew it might embarrass her. It had taken two years to convince Maggie she was right for this job. To work on an isolated island at the edge of the North American continent, with the goal of benefitting the families hardest hit by the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

  “What about ginger tea? I heard ginger might help.”

  Maggie laughed. “If anything really worked, I’d be rich off the cure for hormone hell.” Maggie flapped her hands as if she were shooing away flies. “Don’t you worry about my problems. By the time you get to this point in your life, there’ll be a cure for hot flashes.”

  Val smiled. Maggie wasn’t here for the paycheck. She was here because she was a Navy widow, a Gold Star family member. She’d lost her husband and been left with three teenage boys to raise. This was back during the first Gulf War, when the support system for Gold Star families hadn’t been as strong as it was today.

  They went back to their usual routines at their respective computers.

  “You sure you’re ready for this?”

  Maggie’s voice broke through Val’s desperate attempt to keep her mind off the man who’d be walking into her office thirty minutes from now.

  “Yes, I am. He’s probably married or at least involved, and even if he’s single, I’m not looking.”

  Maggie snorted. “Honey, that’s the exact attitude I had before I met Mike.”

  “If it didn’t happen with Bob, it’s not going to happen.” She’d ended the relationship with her long-term boyfriend from Seattle two years ago. “I was comfortable with him. We had so much in common. But it wasn’t enough to keep us together when I moved here.”

  “‘Comfortable’ was your first mistake, Val. The man who’s best for you won’t be the one you’re most comfortable with. He’ll be the one who sets your teeth on edge and makes you a better person, all at the same time.”

  “I’ll take your word for it.”

  “Do you really think this man won’t remember you?”

  This wasn’t the conversation she wanted to be having before their new employee showed up. He’d been a college boyfriend

  briefly.

  He broke your heart.

  Yes, he’d broken her heart—but wouldn’t any boy have back then? She’d been young, he’d been her first, and it wasn’t as if he was ever anything other than wonderful to her.

  Except when he didn’t come back junior year. He’d disappeared from her life with virtually no explanation.

  “It’s in the past, Maggie. Fifteen years ago. Anyway, how many people remember who they dated in college?”

  “You do. And it’s been a while since you dated. You’re too isolated out here. Not to mention that if you ever want some kids of your own, sooner is best.”

  “Tell me something I don’t know, Maggie. But just because I’m plowing through my thirties doesn’t mean every eligible male is a potential father for my babies.”

  Maggie giggled.

  Val knew she’d want male companionship again. And yes, a family. But not yet. Beyond the Stars was too new, and she couldn’t foresee a time when she’d willingly leave San Juan Island for the mainland. She’d invested her entire life in BTS and was determined to see it flourish.

  “I need to get this schedule straight before he shows up.”

  “I’ll leave you alone. For now.” Maggie’s voice was soft, but her steady gaze let Val know that this conversation was far from over.

  Chapter Four

  “He’s here.” Maggie’s announcement broke Val’s concentration on the resort’s schedule for the next six months.

  January was still busy until mid-month, when all the kids had to be back in school. Spring had a steady stream of clients, leading up to the most heavily booked month yet, June. June heralded the end of school, and was BTS’s busiest month last year, as well. This year would be even busier. Six months out, Val was already stressed about it.

  “Thank God. We have four families arriving in the next few days, each for the week-long program.”

  Maggie leaned further over her desk, her nose an inch or so from the window.

  “Jeez, Maggie, stare much?”

  “You didn’t say he was a looker, Val.”

  “A looker?”

  Maggie moved back from the window as the white painted door burst open with the help of the wind and the sheer force of the man who walked into Val’s office.

  Lucas Derringer.

  He was as tall as she remembered, but much more

  grownup.

  Val stood and began to walk to the counter that separated their desks from the main entry. Her foot caught on the handle of her favorite tote, and she fell headlong onto the floor.

  She stifled a groan, pushing herself up to a standing position in two short moves. Thank God for her yoga practice and regular runs.

  “Are you okay?” The deep voice sounded different than she recalled. Older, wiser.

  “I’m fine, just getting ahead of myself.” She did her best to smile as if she hadn’t come within three millimeters of chipping her front teeth.

  “It is you. Val?” His coffee-colored eyes reflected his amusement—and appreciation?

  “Yes, it’s me.” She stepped forward and held out her hand. “Dr. Derringer? Nice to see you again.”

  He grasped her hand in his. She felt strength, warmth, tingle.

  Tingle. Crap.

  “Welcome to Beyond the Stars, Lucas.” She stared at him, unable to believe that the résumé chock-full of degrees and experience belonged to the same young man she’d known.

  His hesitant smile answered her before he spoke. “Penn State’s a big place, and it was so long ago—I thought you might have forgotten me.” Fat chance.

  “Your resume says you finished your degree at Temple.” She crossed her arms. She’d recognized his name at once. But his resume hadn’t matched the Lucas she’d loved as a wide-eyed sophomore.

  “I did. My first two years were at Penn State, as you obviously remember.”

  “I do.” She would’ve kicked herself for how forlorn she sounded, if she hadn’t already bruised herself by tripping like a clown.

  “Is this going to be a problem?”

  She looked into the sexiest eyes she’d ever seen and saw concern, honesty, integrity. Just as she had all those years ago.

  “No, of course not. It’s good to have you here.”

  As long as she kept her memories of the past in the past.

  Chapter Five

  He looked around the room, and Val imagined it seemed small, insignificant compared to the wards where he’d practiced medicine at Walter Reed. “It
’s great to be here.”

  “You never became a Navy JAG, after all?” His résumé had only stated that he’d served as a SEAL for five years.

  “No, it didn’t work out. When I left Penn State, I had

  a family crisis I had to take care of. I couldn’t manage law school that soon after college, so I opted for active duty right away.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” The words slipped out as if she had no control of her mouth. “Never mind,” she added. “It’s history and none of my business.”

  “It was your business, and I should have told you—” He looked past her to Maggie. “I’m sure we’ll have a chance to talk about it over the next six months.”

  She hadn’t wanted anything to do with a man interested in the military, not after what she’d watched her father go through with his PTSD from Vietnam. As much as it had hurt, she knew way back when they dated that she’d never see their relationship through, not if he was going into the military.

  He’d had his life figured out, and that was one of the reasons she’d fallen in love with him. What she lacked in drive and direction, he’d had. What he’d lacked in knowing how to have fun, she’d shown him.

  They’d shown each other

  .

  “I’m Maggie, the admin.”

  “I’m sorry.” Val wanted to go to her desk and hide behind her computer screen. “Maggie’s my right hand here at BTS.”

  “Welcome, Lucas. I have the key to your suite, which I’m happy to say is our most recently remodeled. You have the best of everything, including a gas-insert fireplace.”

  “That sounds wonderful.” The way Lucas spoke evoked a sense of warmth and security she hadn’t felt in a very long time.

  What was the matter with her? Lucas wasn’t the first handsome man who’d walked into Beyond the Stars. He was, however, the first male counselor she’d employed. Not by choice; it was just a coincidence that the other three counselors were all women who’d been available at the right time.

  This had been the right time for Lucas. For a male counselor