The Laundry Hag's New Year's Clean-Up

by Jennifer L. Hart

  Under normal circumstances, Leo was more interested in people than things—with the possible exception of wardrobe choices. But Leo with a few drinks in him was unpredictable. And Neil would have wanted to keep our friend out of sight so he didn’t blow our cover.

  “Neil?” I called, my voice echoing off the glass. “Leo? Are you guys up here?”

  There was a whisper of movement behind me, a second before a hand clamped over my mouth.

  I struggled to get free, to scream, to let someone know I was being attacked. A hard, male body radiated heat and menace against my back. Panic clawed me as I fought even harder. Damn it, when was I going to learn to listen to my instincts and not poke around in dark or creepy places? Nothing good happened when I gave into my nosy impulses.

  This was why Neil had wanted me to take self-defense classes and learn how to safely operate a firearm. I still wasn’t comfortable with lethal force but self-defense might help.

  My assailant spoke but I couldn’t make out anything over the roaring in my ears. I scrabbled to piece together a maneuver to get away safely. If I was dragged off I might never see Neil or Kenny or Josh or Lily again.

  First step is to force the attacker to release you. The female cop who’d taught the class had drilled it into us. You’re not trying to neutralize the attacker, you’re trying to get away. Look for your opening, aim for the weak spots and don’t be afraid to play dirty.

  With her words in mind, I stomped down on my attacker’s foot. There was a curse as he shifted his weight and taking advantage of the moment, I slammed my elbow back into his solar plexus.

  He released me and I sprinted, or at least as close to an imitation of sprinting as I could manage.

  “Uncle Scrooge,” a winded voice called from behind me.

  I lurched to a stop, poised on the balls of my feet and spun around. “Cripes, Neil?”

  I fumbled for my phone and activated the flashlight app. Sure enough, my big, strong dumbass of a husband was doubled over, one arm clamped to his midsection.

  “Hi,” he offered a feeble wave.

  “What the hell were you doing? Jumping out of the shadows and grabbing me like that? You scared ten years off my life.”

  He opened his mouth to respond but I waved it away. I’d had the breath knocked out of me a time or two and it took a few minutes to recover. Shining the light around, I located one of the chaises by the glass wall. “Come on, Slick. Take a load off for a few.”

  I slung one of his arms over my shoulder and helped him to the seat. He eased into it. His breathing evened out and he offered me a weak smile. “Sorry. I didn’t think you’d react like that.”

  “With force? Yeah, who knew I had it in me? Why did you cover my mouth like that?”

  His expression turned rueful. “Ironically, I was trying to not frighten you. You’re always accusing me of sneaking up on you, so I figured if I touched you, it would be less terrifying than if I just appeared. I was going for your cheek.”

  I shook my head. “You missed. And if you didn’t want to scare me that was an epic freaking fail. I went right into panic mode.”

  He cleared his throat, winced. “Yeah, believe me, I got that message. Sorry, I was aiming for skin, but the mask threw my aim off. I just didn’t want you to wake Leo.”

  “Wake Leo?” I looked around. “Where is he?”

  “Passed out at the other end of the gallery. This place is one giant echo chamber, if you listen, you can hear him snoring.”

  We were both silent and after a few heartbeats, the jerky sound of Leo’s hacksaw snore broke the stillness.

  I put my head in my hands. “What am I going to do about him?”

  Neil’s shoulder brushed mine as he shrugged. “Give me a few and we can call the car service to come around front. He can sleep it off on our couch.”

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  “I know.” Neil’s warm, calloused hand gripped mine.

  “His drinking is becoming a real problem. He’s so unhappy and I don’t know what to do about it.”

  Neil took a deep breath, the inhale only hitching a little. “There’s nothing you can do, Maggie. Other than an intervention.”

  Behind my mask, I made a face. “You mean a carefrontation? That won’t work.”

  “How do you know,” my husband said softly, “until you try?”

  “I just know.” Leo was estranged from his family and because he worked for my in-laws, I couldn’t very well ask them to weigh in without fearing he’d lose his job. The stress over being replaced as their housekeeper had started him down this road. He had friends in Boston that he spent time with, connections and acquaintances, but I didn’t know if he was really close enough to any of them to broach such a personal topic.

  “I think it’s worse now because he’s lonely and holding a carefrontation with just me and him will only emphasize how alone he really is. It seems almost crueler to point that out.”

  “You can’t be responsible for him all the time.” Neil’s other hand reached over to slide across my shoulders. “You have your own obligations to juggle. Do you really want him around our children the way he’s been?”

  The words hit me in my heart, as they were meant to. Neil didn’t believe in pulling punches. “No.”

  “Then tell him. Make that your New Year’s resolution.”

  I blew out a breath. Of course, my role as a mother had to come before all other ties. Kenny and Josh were at impressionable ages and as he was, I couldn’t rely on Leo to watch out for an infant. We had been friends for years, since Virginia Beach. I didn’t want to cut him loose but I couldn’t let him drag us all down either.

  Shoot, Amber. I’d forgotten all about her in the commotion. As much as I hated to see Leo once again to the point of passed out drunk, his condition did give us a valid excuse to leave.

  “Come on, if we leave now, we might make it home by midnight.”

  “Hold up,” Neil rose and offered me a hand. “There’s something I want to show you first.”

  “Neil,” I began.

  My husband pulled me to my feet. “Call it payback for dragging me out tonight. Not to mention the near fatal wounding.”

  “It wasn’t that hard.”

  “Oh, baby. It’s plenty hard,” he rumbled.

  I laughed in spite of myself. “You know what I mean. Where is this thing you have to show me?”

  Neil choked on a laugh. Beneath my mask I flushed. “There’s no talking to you when you’re in this kinda mood. I can’t win.”

  He took pity on me. “Come here, Uncle Scrooge and I’ll show you.”

  I bit my lip. A few minutes give or take wouldn’t matter. I could still get him out of here before he crossed paths with Amber.

  Using my flashlight app to light the way, Neil led me in the opposite direction from where I’d come in. Just as I thought maybe he’d changed his mind and we were going to grab Leo, he cut in sharply towards the wall of art.

  “Watch your step,” he murmured.

  Glancing down I realized that the wall ended and led toward a spiral staircase similar to the set that led up from the foyer, only this one twined in on itself in a helix. Up ahead, actual light shone down to illuminate the stairs. Neil pocketed my phone and led me into the light.

  “What is this place?” I wondered as the stairs ended and I saw green in every direction. The temperature had been steadily increasing as we ascended and the room itself was borderline subtropical.

  “An indoor greenhouse. Look.” Neil pointed to the overhead dome that allowed rays of moonlight in even as it kept the frigid temperatures away. Growing lights were built into the beams between panes of glass, which accounted for the illumination. “The design is amazing. I can’t even get my head around exactly how much it costs to reproduce a Florida climate in the northeast in the dead of winter.”

  “It’s incredible. Are those orange trees?” The little orange blobs hanging from them should have been a sure sign, but the close
st I’d ever been to an orange grove was a Tropicana commercial.

  “Sure are.” He reached out and plucked an orange from a nearby tree. “Tell me that’s not better than a chocolate fondue fountain.”

  I took the section of peeled orange he offered me. “You have your priorities and I have mine.”

  He grinned, the expression boyishly charming. “Stubborn. You haven’t seen the best part.”

  After the icy gallery, the warmth had been welcome but the longer I stayed up here the warmer I felt. “We should really go check on Leo.”

  “In a few,” Neil took my hand once more and pulled me under the canopy.

  The trees bore no fruit and grew closer together than the ones bearing the oranges on the other side of the aisle. So close that Neil had to turn sideways to fit between them. He released me long enough to part the branches so I could squeeze myself through. Inside the cocoon of overgrown trees, the leaves blocked out most of the overhead lighting, though there was enough to spy the blanket and two champagne glasses filled with what had to be freshly squeezed orange juice. A scene obviously set for seduction.

  I looked from it, back to my husband, taking note of the mischievous glimmer in his eye. “Oh no.”

  “No?” He took a step closer.

  “Neil,” I pleaded, taking a step back. The branches blocked an easy escape. “We can’t.”

  He’d already unfastened his tie and dropped it on the grassy earth. “I beg to differ.”

  “Leo,” I protested, not really wanting to protest as he removed his tuxedo jacket and then unfastened one button after the next after the next....

  I swallowed hard and fought to regain my train of thought. Stupid distracting pregnancy hormones. “What if Leo wakes up?”

  “He’ll wait for us.” Neil invaded my space, a maneuver only he could pull off so well. The scent of oranges and aftershave surrounded me and I swear on my best vacuum, I nearly swooned.

  “Say yes,” my husband cajoled. “You know you want to.”

  God help me, I had a masked, sexy seducer bent on ravishing me in an orange grove. Of course I wanted to. He knew it too, the fiend. Yes was my only option. “Only if you agree to keep the mask on.”

  “Deal,” he laughed, and pulled me onto the blanket.

  Chapter Three

  Three hours ‘til midnight

  Maggie

  “I don’t mind the heat as long as I don’t have to wear clothes,” I mumbled sometime later. “This must be why people join nudist colonies.”

  “Mmmm,” he buried his face in the hair that had fallen out of Leo’s elaborate updo. “Don’t see too many of those in Massachusetts. Maybe we should start one?”

  “Never,” I vowed. “Public nudity is just so...unsanitary.”

  He laughed and squeezed me again. “Have I ever told you I love your fastidious nature? I hope Lily inherits that. The boys are big enough slobs.”

  “You really want another female like me on your hands?” I quipped.

  Hazel eyes met mine. “I absolutely do.”

  When he looked at me that way, I could almost forget that I was covered in stretch marks, that parts of me sagged unbecomingly, that we had problems to solve and plans to make. When Neil looked at me that way I just knew everything would be all right.

  And I also knew I had to tell him.

  Perceptive chap that he was, Neil detected the shift in my mood. “What is it?”

  “I’m trying to figure out the best way to tell you something unpleasant.”

  “Are you all right?” He sat up and looked me over intently. “It’s been awhile. I didn’t hurt you. did I?”

  “No, Sexy McStudmuffin.” I struggled up onto my elbows and reached for my clothes. This was not a conversation I wanted to have in the raw. “Promise me you’re not going to do something stupid or crazy.”

  “I’m usually the one who has to say something like that.” Neil grumbled as he fisted his pants.

  “I know. I just want to make sure that no matter what I tell you, our exit strategy is still in place. Get dressed, snag Leo and hightail it for our place. Agreed?”

  He studied me a moment. “As long as you’re okay. Agreed.”

  I huffed out a relieved breath. “Amber’s here. I saw her downstairs.”

  Neil froze in the middle of buttoning his shirt. “What?”

  Swallowing I pushed ahead. “There’s more.”

  “Tell me.” Those two words were coated in ice. Gone was the soft lover like tone, the gentle reassurance from moments ago.

  “She’s engaged.”

  “To?” Neil finished with his shirt, didn’t bother to retie his tie, just shrugged on his jacket and put the tie in his pocket.

  “I don’t know. Some doctor, according to what I overheard. She saw me, but she didn’t recognize me. Not that I expected her to, she always looked through me, more than at me.” I was babbling, my first tension busting, go-to tactic.

  Judging from the set of Neil’s shoulders, the tension was there to stay.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  “You weren’t going to tell me.” It wasn’t a question.

  “Not until we got out of here,” I admitted.

  “Why? Didn’t you think I could handle it?” A loaded question.

  “I didn’t want you to have to handle it. At least not here. We’re already out of our element and we have Leo to deal with.”

  Behind his mask that sharp intelligence shone through arrow slits of hazel. “Yeah but you made that call before you knew Leo was passed out. Tell me why, Maggie.”

  Maggie. Not Uncle Scrooge. He meant business. “I don’t know, I wasn’t thinking, I just sort of panicked.”

  “Because of what Leo said earlier, about Amber and me. You were feeling insecure and decided to keep something like this from me.”

  I’d been hunting for one of my shoes, but my head jerked up at his accusation. “Whoa, slow down there, Slick. This has nothing to do with me being insecure about Amber.”

  “But you are,” he pushed. “Ten years of marriage, three kids and it still eats at you that I was with her first.”

  I blinked, stunned to my toes. I’d anticipated that he’d have a severe reaction to the news, but had never expected this. Neil typically had a long fuse and it took a lot for him to lose his temper. “Neil, why are you so angry?”

  “Because you don’t trust me,” he growled.

  I drew back, stumbled over the missing shoe. “What? Of course I trust you.”

  Even despite his wrath he reached out to steady me. “Not with her, not about her. You weren’t even going to give me the option of how to handle this.”

  “Because you’re acting like a freaking lunatic. All your reaction tells me is that my instincts were spot on.”

  He muttered something then bent down to pick up my shoe, holding it out for me to slide onto my foot. I stared down at him, my dangerous prince playing out some warped version of the Cinderella fantasy even though he looked as if he wanted to duct tape my mouth shut. Not exactly my idea of a happily ever after.

  “Neil,” I began, unsure of what to say but unwilling to let it go.

  “We’ll talk about this later.” He rose and then parted the trees for me, allowing me back out into the main area of the greenhouse.

  “We’ll talk about it now.” The last thing I wanted was to give him time to stew.

  A muscle jumped in his jaw, his eyes were fixed on the goal ahead, the stairs. He wasn’t hearing me, his tunnel vision up and running full-speed ahead.

  I blocked his path and poked him in the chest. “Listen, I do trust you, I absolutely do. My decision not to tell you had nothing to do with my insecurity over the fact that ten years later your first wife is still freaking gorgeous and I look like the damn Michelin Man.”

  He actually growled at me.

  “It was an instinctive decision because she hurt you terribly and endangered our children.”

  That actually seemed to get through to
him. He blinked. “What do you mean?”

  “I was trying to protect you, dumbass. Like you are always trying to do for me. So, I would appreciate a little freaking slack when I overreact because you do the same thing to me all the time and I always forgive you because I know it comes from a place of love.”

  He stood there, gaping at me, as I dissolved fully into tears. Blubbering full force, I turned my back on him. Of course, I didn’t have a tissue, I never had a tissue when I needed a tissue so why should now be any different?

  “Maggie,” he began.

  I held up a hand as I fought to box up my emotions. The struggle was real, I might as well have been wrestling a greased sea serpent. Stupid postpartum hormones. At last, I emerged victorious. “Let’s see if we can find a back way out of here. Leo used way too much eyeliner on me. Between the heat and the moisture, I probably look like Alice Cooper.” Good thing I was wearing a mask.

  “Uncle Scrooge,” he began again.

  “Don’t. Please. I’m barely holding it together.”

  There was a moment of silence before he finally said, “I hate it when you cry.”

  “Believe me, it’s no picnic for me either. Let’s just stick to the plan. Grab Leo and get the hell out of here.” I risked a glance up at him.

  He reached forward and stroked a thumb along the bottom of my mask. “As you wish.”

  My heart hurt as I turned away from him. How was it possible that two people could be both incredibly right and totally wrong at the same time?

  Whatever, we just needed to put this whole messy night behind us. While I was at it, seeing the entire year in the rearview sounded pretty darned appealing.

  Holding my phone out in one hand, Neil illuminated each step as we descended back into the chilly gallery. I thought about making a crack about being glad I wasn’t responsible for the heating bill on this place, but decided against it. Though humor improved many situations, sometimes I just couldn’t handle anything other than the void of emptiness left in the wake of my latest crying jag.

  Gripping my hand, more to make sure we stayed together than out of affection, Neil made his way around the corner toward the far end of the gallery. His steps slowed as we went and I spied a neon exit sign. “What’s the matter?”