Three Women

by Marita Conlon-McKenna

  Chapter Forty-four

  ON THURSDAY NIGHT erin joined declan and monika and a big crew from the office in the Sugar Club for the launch of Lia Sullivan’s breakthrough first album, Lia. The ethereal cover design looked amazing; Erin was so pleased with it. The publicity posters, the launch invites, the flyers for record shops and the song words also looked magical.

  Lia was stunning, and when she got up on stage to sing a few of the songs from the album there was utter silence as her voice and music captivated everyone. Her tumbling red hair and white skin – her almost fairy look – entranced everyone. Erin had loved working with Lia and her manager, and with the record label that was taking the gamble in investing in this wonderful new talent. Everyone was genuinely excited and she spotted one or two big music industry people there along with people from RTE and TV3.

  ‘Hi Erin,’ smiled Lia, embracing her. ‘Everyone is saying how good the CD looks and the whole package, how different it is with that old-fashioned spidery writing and the beautiful background. You just captured it all perfectly. Thank you.’

  ‘Well it was just a matter of listening to your amazing music and getting that right feel for what you’re doing, and of course being able to use the still from your video was brilliant,’ smiled Erin, noticing that the video was being played on a loop system in the background in conjunction with the album.

  ‘I’m kind of nervous about it all,’ Lia admitted shyly, ‘but in another way excited. I’ve been asked to sing on The Late Late Show on Friday night, which is wonderful. My mum and granny are so excited for me and are getting tickets to come along to the show.’

  Erin suspected that after Friday night’s live performance Lia Sullivan’s career was going to take off.

  She made her way to the bar to join Declan and Lilly for a drink. She was standing at the counter as the barman took her order when she heard a familiar voice.

  ‘Hey Erin!’ called Matt, coming over to her. ‘How are you? How’s it all going?’

  She felt a bit guilty. She had texted him a few times but hadn’t really given him a proper update on how things were with Kate.

  Grabbing his hand, she made for the sitting area and told him all about it. He was such a good listener and so bloody kind. She also confided in him that she was going over to London tomorrow morning to try to see her biological dad.

  ‘Declan always gives us a morning off if we attend a company thing, so I’m just taking the rest of the day off too and heading over on an earlier flight so I can go and see him.’

  ‘Do you think that’s wise, Erin? He’s made it very clear that he doesn’t want to see you … Maybe you should accept that?’

  ‘Matt, my mother didn’t want to meet me either and now we have a relationship at least. This might be the same.’

  ‘I wouldn’t count on it.’

  ‘Anyway, what are you doing here?’ she asked, trying to get him off the subject.

  ‘I edited Lia’s music video. We are already in production on her second song. We’re shooting it next week down in Wexford.’

  ‘Which song is she going with?’

  ‘“Lover Mine”.’

  ‘I love that track!’ exclaimed Erin. ‘It’s so beautiful. I listen to her album all the time.’

  ‘You did a great job on the cover!’

  ‘I know,’ she said proudly. ‘I’m very pleased with it and grateful to Declan for letting me work on it.’

  The launch party continued for hours, with Lia and the band getting up later and playing again. Erin found herself hanging out with Matt and his friends as Monika and Declan had sloped off earlier.

  It was after midnight when she realized the time and remembered she was getting a flight in the morning – there was no way she was drinking any more.

  ‘Good luck tomorrow,’ said Matt, pulling her into his arms and holding her tight. ‘If you need me, Erin, just phone me. I’m just home working on my laptop all day.’

  She suddenly sensed his lips brush against her hair and felt momentarily awkward.

  ‘Matt, thanks for listening and for everything,’ she said, kissing him lightly as she said her goodbyes and headed out on to Leeson Street to get a taxi.

  Chapter Forty-five

  ERIN WAS TENSE as hell as she boarded the flight to Heathrow. She hadn’t mentioned anything to Luke about trying to see Johnny Devlin; she knew that he would try to dissuade her, but this was something she had to do.

  She had left repeated messages on Johnny’s home and office numbers, but he had not bothered to return her calls. Undeterred, she had checked out his office in Ealing and made an appointment with his secretary to meet him. Knowing that if she used her real name he might refuse to see her, she had used the name Maria Armstrong, which was her great-grandmother’s name, and said it was an enquiry about a new young Irish singer that she was working with. Well, she did work with Lia and it was only a ploy to get her through his office door. Hopefully the young singer would forgive her! The meeting was arranged for two p.m.

  She took the tube from the airport and, arriving far too early for the meeting, went into a local coffee shop and grabbed a salad sandwich and coffee. She was nervous and apprehensive, but there was no going back now.

  At two o’clock she walked towards the rather ugly sixties office building where she saw the name Celtic Connections on the door. She rang the bell and a woman’s voice answered and opened the door automatically for her. The office was on the fourth floor. There was a lift that was in need of a cleaning, and when she got out she went straight through the door ahead of her. A skinny girl a bit older than herself sat talking on the phone in a small reception area and gestured for her to take a seat.

  ‘Mr Devlin will be with you in a few minutes,’ she said, continuing her conversation with a friend.

  Erin looked around the rather grimy office. One wall was covered with photos of various Irish musicians and comedians, as well as with posters of appearances in places such as London, Manchester and Liverpool. She stood up to get a better look at one photo of a well-known traditional fiddle player with a thin, dark-haired man. She wondered, was he her father?

  Ten minutes later he emerged from his office. Erin held her breath as Jonathan Devlin introduced himself and shook her hand. Trying to control her nerves, she smiled, followed him into his office and sat down across from him. He was just like Kate had said – and she supposed still very good looking in a kind of trying-too-hard way. He was wearing a tight-fitting grey-and-white shirt and skinny jeans, and was tall and wiry, with his hair to his shoulders. His eyes were dark and he had the longest black eyelashes. His face was narrow with thin lips, and he was one of those men who look like they constantly need to shave.

  ‘Now, Miss Armstrong – or can I call you Maria?’ he smiled, his eyes running over her face and figure. ‘What can I do for you, or to be more exact for this girl Lia? I have checked her out on YouTube and she is very talented. Her record company is fairly new and probably only has a few contacts here in the UK, but I’m sure I could help in terms of arranging a few appearances on this side of the water if that is what you want for her?’

  Erin listened as he spoke. He still had a bit of his Irish accent and she could see he was wired and full of energy as he started to list a range of Irish clubs and pubs where Lia could sing. She couldn’t imagine Lia singing in any of them. She wasn’t that type of artist.

  ‘Well, Maria?’

  ‘I’m sorry.’ She hadn’t even been listening properly.

  ‘I was talking about the Irish Club in Manchester—’

  ‘Listen, Mr Devlin, I’m sorry, but the truth is I’m not here about Lia,’ she admitted. ‘I just wanted to meet you.’

  ‘Meet me? What is this about?’ he said, instantly suspicious.

  ‘I’m Erin,’ she said, looking directly at him and seeing the dawning recognition in his eyes. ‘I’m your daughter.’

  He said nothing for a few seconds. She could see that he was actually speechless. He w
as used to being the one in control of situations.

  ‘I’ve left lots of phone messages trying to arrange to see you or meet you, but you didn’t return my calls. So I decided I had to find a way to get to meet you here. I do know Lia and have actually worked on the cover of her new CD, so I hoped that it might help,’ she explained, trying not to be confrontational.

  ‘I don’t care who you are, you have absolutely no right to come in here pretending to be someone you aren’t and wasting my valuable time,’ he said, standing up. ‘I should ask you to leave.’

  ‘I’m your daughter – that’s who I am!’ she exclaimed, not moving.

  He stopped for a second, then sat back down.

  ‘Kate told me about you, but I was very clear that I didn’t want to see you. Didn’t she tell you?’

  ‘She did.’

  ‘Then why are you here? What are you looking for? Is it money?’

  Erin laughed. It was ludicrous. He thought everyone had to be after something.

  ‘I wanted to meet you, that’s all,’ she said gently. ‘No other motive. Just to see what my father looks like and sounds like.’

  ‘I told Kate when we met for dinner a few weeks ago that there was no point to this, that I wasn’t interested in getting involved. I made it very clear to her. I have my life here. All this happened in the past and I have put it behind me.’

  Erin swallowed hard. Kate had gone out to dinner with him! Why hadn’t she told her?

  But Kate had tried to tell her, to warn her off …

  ‘I see.’

  He was looking coldly at her, silently taking in her clothes, the expensive handbag her mum and dad had given her last Christmas, weighing her up.

  ‘I’d better go,’ she said, standing up. ‘I’m staying with a friend for the weekend.’

  He stood up too. ‘Erin, perhaps it is good that we have got to meet,’ he said, grudgingly. ‘Kate told me a lot about you and what a great girl you are … I can see that now for myself. But it still doesn’t change the fact that I have my life over here and you have your life. I wish you luck in whatever you are doing and for the future, but I’m sorry I cannot at this stage become a part of it.’

  ‘I’m sorry too,’ she said, lifting her handbag. She didn’t shake his hand or anything; she walked back out to the reception desk, grabbed her weekend bag and headed back down in the lift. Johnny Devlin had been very honest with her and she had to accept it.

  Back out in the street she stood for a few minutes trying to compose herself. She wanted to get as far away from here as possible and found herself hopping on a tube to the city centre. Luke wouldn’t be home for hours and she had no key for the apartment, so she would just have to hang around until he finished work.

  Chapter Forty-six

  ERIN GOT OFF the tube down near bridgeport road, where Luke and Ronan had found an apartment. It was an older area and there were lots of local shops, bars and restaurants. She spotted what looked like a tea room with cakes and biscuits displayed in the window and went inside and sat down. It was quiet, with a few older women sitting talking together over cakes and coffee, and an old man ensconced near the window reading the Financial Times with a large slice of chocolate cake in front of him.

  Erin felt sick, but she ordered a large cappuccino. She still couldn’t believe the reaction she had got from Johnny Devlin. He had been direct and honest with her, even if it hurt knowing the truth. Perhaps she had been expecting too much, but he had disappointed her. She couldn’t get around the fact that he had fathered her and not only walked away from Kate when she really needed him but even now, when she was an adult and wasn’t making any demands on him, he was only interested in himself.

  He was a selfish man, not capable of being a proper father. Maybe she was lucky that Johnny Devlin hadn’t been a part of her life, and now never would be.

  Sitting there, she gradually began to calm down and relax. Okay, it was sad, so sad – but it didn’t change anything. She had satisfied her curiosity and deep-felt need to know about her natural father, and, okay, it had not turned out the way she had planned, but at least she could just get on with her life and forget about him.

  As she sat there she suddenly got the urge to phone her dad and called his number.

  ‘Hi, Erin.’ He sounded surprised. ‘I thought you were going to London today?’

  ‘I am, Dad. I just arrived and I phoned to see how you are.’

  ‘I’m down at the boat,’ he laughed. ‘I’m trying to fix this yoke of a rudder of mine; it keeps sticking. Is everything okay?’ he asked, unable to keep his concern for her out of his voice.

  ‘Fine, Dad,’ she lied, trying not to cry. ‘I’ll be meeting Luke in a while.’

  ‘Tell him I said hello. When will you be home?’

  ‘Late on Sunday.’

  ‘The weather is meant to hold till next Wednesday. I haven’t been out in her much lately, been a bit preoccupied with things; but do you fancy a bit of sailing after work on Monday or Tuesday evening?’

  ‘That would be lovely, Dad! I’ll call you when I get home, okay?’

  She sat for a while, comforted by his voice – her real father’s voice. At five o’clock Luke phoned and they arranged to meet an hour later.

  * * *

  Luke had suggested she made her way to the wine bar that was situated near his apartment building. It was already beginning to fill up with a post-work crowd, but Erin managed to nab an outside table where she could at least watch the world go by and chill until Luke appeared. The waitress passed her an impressive wine list and she ordered a glass of one of her favourites, a lovely chilled rosé, and the waitress put a small bowl of complimentary olives on the table. It was a lovely evening and she urged herself to relax. She had decided to make no mention of her meeting with Johnny to Luke. She was gutted, but she wasn’t going to have her useless father ruin her weekend.

  She was on her second glass of wine when Luke arrived. She had forgotten how good he looked in a suit and tie, and she could see lots of envious glances from girls around her as he joined her and ordered more wine. They stayed there for ages, laughing and chatting, until he finally agreed to letting her go home and change in the apartment before they headed out to dinner.

  ‘Luke, maybe we could stay home in the apartment and get a takeaway?’ she pleaded, tiredness and the few glasses of wine hitting her.

  ‘No way! You are glamming up, and I am taking you to the best Argentinian restaurant ever! It’s only about a ten-minute walk from where I live,’ he laughed, taking her hand.

  The street where he lived was just one big row of tall, modern apartment buildings, all glass and concrete stacked together like angled dominoes around a central plaza. His building was Number Four, and the apartment was on the eighth floor with a balcony and great views. It was smaller than she had expected, with a living room and neat galley kitchen with very little space for cooking. The living room was über-modern, with black-and-grey leather couches, a massive plasma TV and a small glass dining table with four chairs.

  Luke was right, because if you went out on the balcony you had a massive view over that part of the city. Erin struggled to get her bearings as Luke pointed out various city landmarks to her.

  She dumped her case in his bedroom and giggled as he pulled her into the shower while he changed out of his own work clothes. She really had missed him and would have been so happy to spend the time here with him.

  ‘Maybe the restaurant can deliver?’ she pleaded, wrapped in a towel.

  ‘Tempting as it is to stay in, we are going out,’ he insisted. ‘I work bloody hard all week and the least I can do is go out on a Friday and have a good time. Crashing at home is not an option!’

  Half an hour later, as she ordered from the Argentinian menu and sipped a mojito, she had to agree with him. The place was hopping with lots of people determined to enjoy themselves, but by midnight Erin found herself yawning, the stress of meeting Johnny Devlin catching up on her. After a few
drinks she felt pretty wrecked and emotional and needed to sleep.

  ‘Luke, let’s head back to the apartment,’ she pleaded over the music.

  ‘Don’t be such a granny!’ he teased, showing utterly no interest in leaving the place. Then some of his friends from the office appeared and Luke insisted they join them. It was two a.m. before they finally made it home.

  * * *

  Saturday morning they both slept in and only the sound of Ronan banging around the place woke them up. Ronan was watching Sky Sports and they spent the next two hours glued to a match Erin had zero interest in.

  In the afternoon Luke brought her to view three apartments in a new complex nearer his office. Each was much bigger than the one he was sharing, but two of them had only one bedroom and very little storage space. The rents were outrageous.

  ‘Luke, there is no way I could afford that! Absolutely no way I could even earn that!’

  ‘Everyone has to pay out here for rent,’ he cajoled. ‘People work hard! Play hard! And when you are our age you want to stay in the centre – nobody wants to be doing a big commute after working till eight or nine, or even later, most nights. So you just have to pay up! In a year or so I think I’ll probably buy a place. It will be a good investment, as I can rent it out later.’

  Erin could see he had it all planned out, but she wasn’t sure that his plan was the same as hers.

  Dinner and a night club were organized for Saturday night and Ronan joined them.

  ‘Has Michelle been over yet?’ she asked.

  ‘Nah, she’s got lectures on a Saturday morning for the next few weeks and it’s not really worth my while going over, as I’d have to head home on Sunday afternoon.’ He didn’t sound too disappointed, and judging by the attention he was getting from one of the girls he was chatting to up at the bar while they waited for a table, it wasn’t bothering him too much.

  The night was great fun and Erin drank far too much, trying to block out yesterday’s fiasco with the man who was her so-called father. What was it Claire called fathers like that? Sperm donors!