Tangled Passion

by Stanley Ejingiri

  He’d packed three bags in total; two were meant for his trip to England and the third one he intended to leave back in St Lucia, planning to pick it up when he returned there, before heading to the Island of Jamaica to begin his new contract. The diary was in the third bag that was supposed to stay in St Lucia.

  “Grab the two bags against the table,” Longstands recollected saying to Antoine, one of his favourite house slaves. There was no way of telling which of the bags Antoine brought him at the time as all the bags looked alike, which was the reason Longstands had clearly separated them. He’d placed the bags that were going with him to England by the dining table and the one that was staying back; he had placed by the chair.

  “No, Antoine,” Longstands remembered saying when Antoine met him by the horse carriage with three bags. “Which of the bags was against the dining table?”

  Antoine pointed at two of the three bags already in the carriage.

  “OK, return the other one to my bedroom.”

  Antoine nodded, bowed, picked up the other bag and returned to the house. The mistake remained uncovered even in England because Longstands never went into the bags; he had no reasons to; Suzanne had gone out and bought him new things. From underwear to shaving blades, clothes and shoes as well as a toothbrush, she bought everything new the moment he arrived England.

  “I don’t want any of those slave-smelling clothes on you while you are here,” she’d told him as she handed him a set of new suits, shoes, and boxers. Longstands remained in England for twelve months; six months longer than he had originally planned. When he eventually returned to St Lucia, Antoine and the third bag had been evacuated by the new occupant of his former house, which led him to the conclusion that the diary was lost forever. It was not until the fateful day when his son walked into his room and handed him a page from the diary, opening the door to a ton of memory, that Massa Longstands realized that the diary was alive and well, only in the wrong hands.

  There were two things in the diary that troubled Longstands the most—whilst still in St Lucia; he had slowly fallen in love with Shanika—the slave girl with whom he was in a secret relationship and he had fully documented his feelings in the diary. Secondly and most troubling was the fact that Shanika had eventually gotten pregnant and this he had also documented in the diary. His relationship with Shanika was something that begun out of curiosity; it meant nothing initially and wasn’t supposed to go anywhere. But when he woke up one day and realized that he had fallen in love with the slave girl, he was both surprised and scared. Although he kept the relationship secret all the time it was something he never regretted—she had made him feel better than any woman had ever done and he couldn’t help but love her more each day that passed.

  It was impossible to be sad or heavy around Shanika, she knew how to lift your spirits and make you laugh, even in the saddest moment. She was also smart and her simple and humble opinions in matters that Longstands didn’t expect her to know anything about, most times turned out to be the best option. Only six months into their relationship, she was fluent in the English language, engaging in conversations that were both complex and constructive with Longstands. There really wasn’t anything not to love about Shanika and it was almost impossible to find a flaw in her—Longstands was content with her and missed her every minute he was away from her.

  But as the end of his contract in St Lucia drew closer and the time to travel to England approached, Longstands became very worried for Shanika. She was pregnant and it would be the first time that they’d be separated in a year. He’d already postponed his trip to England twice, simply unable to leave Shanika, but he’d run out of excuses to give Suzanne for a third postponement and had yet to find a way to ensure that Shanika was safe for the time he was going to be away.

  Longstands had a few friends but none of them knew about his relationship with Shanika and he couldn’t trust any of them enough to tell them about the pregnancy. Mr. Blanchard was one of his closest friends and it had crossed Longstands’s mind several times to lie to Blanchard about the situation—after all he only needed a safe place for Shanika to stay until he returned from England. If he told Blanchard that Shanika was one of his very good slaves that had gotten impregnated by another slave and begged him to let her stay in his quarters until he returned, he was sure that neither Blanchards nor his wife would have a problem with it. Longstands’s only dilemma was that even though Shanika wasn’t exhibiting any signs of pregnancy, she was actually due in four months; some sixty days before he was due back from England.

  If he was still in England when Shanika gave birth as would most likely be the case, it would take Blanchards only a few minutes to realize that he had lied and that the child was actually his. The rumour would travel across the Atlantic and knock on his door in England…and his wife Suzanne would of course be there to answer the door.

  After very long consideration, Mr Longstands decided that the best option was to send Shanika to an island where slavery had been abolished; he knew about boatmen who smuggled slaves to the island.

  “I want her to be safe, very safe—absolutely safe,” Longstands said, trying to explain the level of safety he wanted for Shanika as he discussed it with the boatmen in the shadows.

  “Don’t worry sir,” the first man said with a Portuguese-saturated accent.

  “We do it already, many times, this not the first,” the second man added, struggling with his English. Longstands was reluctant and fearful but his choices were limited. As much as the men sounded experienced and capable, their demeanour wasn’t as convincing.

  “I have to go to England, so what if you get your balance when I return?” Longstands said, looking for a way to quell the suspicion in his belly and to make sure the boatmen returned to him. He simply needed some kind of assurance that Shanika would be transported safely to her destination and that the boatmen wouldn’t play any games. The stories of the heinous acts of boatmen were limitless; some of them collected life savings from slaves to take them across to the island where slavery was already abolished but never showed up on the appointed day. Others were worse; they took money from the slaves only to force them overboard in the middle of the high seas—Longstands was very worried for Ashana.

  “Oh no no no, we don’t do business like that.” It was the first man; he spoke seriously and from the way he spoke, Longstands knew right away that he wasn’t up for any form of negotiations.

  He watched the two men hold a brief consultation and then the second man spoke again; “Man trust me, friend you have to trust us, we do good business all time everywhere, all islands and your friend do many many business with us all the time.”

  “As a matter of fact I do trust you,” Longstands lied. “I know you and your activities in this island, especially when I am employing you and paying you double your normal fee to take my girl to Haiti and get her settled in.” Longstands’s tone was different and his demeanour suddenly changed to a combat-ready one. “When I return from England I want proof that she is fine—I will pay for this of course but if there are any kind of stories or I smell any rat, I will hunt you down and destroy you, your families, and your business for good,” he threatened.

  “Sir,” the second man began a little more gently; Longstands’s threat had anchored in their hearts and registered on their faces. “We have good reputations, everybody do good business with us again and again. Don’t worry we know how to arrange everything, we do what you ask now already before and we can do again. And you can ask your friend about us,” he suggested with a cautious smile.

  “OK, let’s get it going,” Longstands said–he didn’t have enough time and he had no choice but to trust the roguish-looking Portuguese boatmen recommended to him by his wayward friend, Thomas.

  Later that night, as they sat on his bamboo bed, each temporarily distracted and lost in their thoughts of the issue at hand, Longstands struggled with the best way to tell Shanika about the agreement he had reached with the Portuguese tra
nsporters. After a brief moment of silence that had Shanika very puzzled, Longstands opened his mouth. “I have something to tell you Shanika.” he said.

  “Yes sir,” she replied, a little apprehension in her funniness.

  “You know I leave for England tomorrow,” he said, looking away from her as a feeling of betrayal overtook him.

  “Yes sir,” Shanika said again; she sounded as though the strength in her body had suddenly left her.

  “Please listen, listen to me very carefully,” Longstands said. She looked up at him for a brief moment then lowered her gaze to the floor.

  By the time Longstands finished talking, the sun had gone down and the room had become a little darker; the sound of croaking frogs and crickets very audible.

  “I understand completely.” Shanika said sniffing; the tears that clouded her eyes had run down her cheeks and then dried up. She understood the circumstances surrounding Longstands’s decision and the options available to him. She knew he was a kind-hearted man; there was no doubt about that and there was also no doubt that it must have been a difficult decision for him.

  The disadvantages of leaving her in St Lucia outweighed the benefits. Not only would she become a laughingstock amongst the other slaves who would see her as abandoned but there’d be a big commotion after the baby was born and the truth came to light. The wives of the other slave masters would label her a witch for sleeping with one of their men and demand her head on a platter.

  The option of another island was the best, especially an island with freed slaves. What more could she ask for? She was thankful that the master had considered such an alternative for her. “Thank you sir,” she said; a fresh brew of tears flowing down her cheeks. This time her tears came from gratitude mixed with the pain and anxiety of a separation from Longstands for a time period she wasn’t sure of. Since she’d known him, her life had changed; he’d treated her with respect and love and given her the highest level of care she’d ever received. When she’d found out that she was pregnant, she was alarmed and feared that he might deny it and use it as an excuse to put her out as did many other slave masters. But Longstands didn’t make a big fuss of it; instead he cared even more for her.

  “I would be back in six months,” Longstands said. She nodded, a little smile appearing on her face like sunrays appearing in the faraway horizon after a heavy downpour. He was happy that she understood the circumstances surrounding his decision even though he saw the fear, uncertainty, and anxiety that were boldly plastered on her innocent face. “Come here,” he said, his arms wide open. She sank into them and they remained hugging for the longest time either one of could possibly remember. It was as though they feared it might be the last time they’d ever be in each other’s arms. He kissed her several times on her forehead frantically fighting his overwhelming emotions and later that night, she boarded the boat for the island of the freed slaves.

  “I will come for you as soon as I return,” he promised; it was probably the hundredth time he was saying the same words with the same strong emphasis.

  She nodded. “I will wait for you.” She was calm as she settled into the boat but underneath her calmness a hurricane of emotions threatened to rip her in pieces and Longstands could see it.

  “I promise, I will return for you,” he reassured her, gently placing a military backpack on the floor of the boat and letting it rest between her legs. In the bag were all of Shanika’s belongings and at the very top of all the stuff was a loaded pistol. Their eyes met in the moonlight—‘don’t forget the gun’, she read in his eyes as he gently tapped the bag.

  “Don’t hesitate one second to use it if anything suspicious begins. Just point and squeeze; don’t think about it,” his voice replayed in her head. He also made her sit on the floor of the boat at one end of the thirty-foot long boat so that she had the boatmen who sat at the opposite end in full view. This gave Shanika enough room to take out the gun, aim and fire, in the event that the men tried anything funny. “There are two men but don’t wave your gun, just keep it pointed at one of them. If he moves, shoot immediately, don’t hesitate. When he goes down, the other one will do anything you ask,” Longstands had instructed her.

  “Thank you,” she said, placing her hand on his. Mr Longstands nodded, a small collection of tears gathering at the corner of his eyes.

  “Okay,” he said gathering himself together; thankfully a dark cloud was passing and had covered the moon; he didn’t want the boatmen to see his emotions on display.

  He kissed her on her forehead one last time and the boat began to float away. Several minutes after the boat had become swallowed up by darkness, Longstands was still standing at the same spot, staring into the vast and dense darkness, ignoring the waves that constantly returned to shore and buried his feet in water. He was suddenly unsure that he had made the right decision and he began to go over a long list in his head; he didn’t know why he suddenly felt like there was something he had forgotten—he had given Shanika a good amount of money; so much money she could easily live on it for two years or more. He’d hidden the money in the zipped pockets of one of his old jean trousers, which he cut very short and made Shanika wear underneath her dress.

  He’d also made sure that Shanika had a good supply of food to last the journey and some extra cash in her backpack and that she was on her way to a free land. It seemed he had everything covered and a feeling of relief enveloped him; he had taken every necessary precaution and equipped the soon-to-be mother with money and protection.

  He smiled, thinking of how excited she’d be when they met again, he thought about the baby she was carrying, prayed that she had a safe delivery and bet against himself that the child was a girl. Apart from the lack of trust he had for the boatmen, Longstands had a feeling of satisfaction, there was no doubt he had done the best he could under the circumstances—he’d done the right thing.

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  Chapter Eleven

  M

  rs. Suzanne pulled a chair and faced her husband squarely. Longstands knew what was coming and had prepared himself. “Hello Suzanne,” he said in a calm tone; an attempt to quench the flame that emanated from his obviously outraged wife. “You look upset, are you okay or is it the heat..?” he asked, still working at calming her.

  “Do I?” she snarled tossing back his niceness to him. The matter she wanted to discuss wasn’t one that she could properly negotiate in a friendly manner.

  “Suzanne, please…”

  “What do you think you are doing Longstands?” she asked, cutting him off, her head tilted at a seventy-degree angle as she gave him that look that said, ‘do I look like I am playing with you?’

  Longstands got the message right away—he knew that it just wasn’t the time to be beating around the bush. It sure wasn’t going to do him any good or buy him any time. His wife was obviously not in the mood for ‘child’s play’ as she often called it.

  “Suzanne, if this is about Nathan, I want you to know that I am talking to him, but you can’t rush Nathan, you know your son as well as I do,” he lied.

  “Talking to him?” she replied, an additional dose of anger evident in her voice.

  “Yes Suzanne, we….”.

  “What exactly, were you buddies talking about?” Suzanne interrupted.

  “We spoke like men yesterday and we are beginning to understand each other,” Longstands said, still keeping his calm.

  “Wonderful! Father and son finally talking like men. Let me ask you Longstands, in your ‘man-to-man’ talk, did you buddies manage to at least talk about the issue at hand?” Suzanne said in a tone mixed with scolding and mockery. “Like finding a way to get that girl and her mother out of this Fort immediately and making Nathan—your buddy, realize that there is no way he can pick up that ...em ...em slave girl as his maid, much less his wife.”.

  “Listen Suzanne…!” Longstands began but he decided not to continue; he too was turning red. He felt squeezed from bo
th sides; his wife on one side and his son on the other, both demanding something he had no power to grant. His patience was wearing thin and he wasn’t sure when it would snap, besides he was beginning to feel that he’d had enough of Suzanne. She was pushing him too hard and his back was finally against the wall. He too was about to snap and on the same amount of pressure.

  “Frankly Suzanne, what in the world do you want me to do with Nathan? He is a grown up man and an enlightened man for that matter, I am his father but he is a grown man so…”

  “Very well Longstands,” Suzanne snapped, jumping off her seat as if stung by a violent scorpion. “I am not asking you to do anything with Nathan.”

  “What?” Mr Longstands said. What else could she want?

  “All that I am asking you to do is to send that woman and her daughter away from this Fort; send them somewhere, anywhere. I don’t really care where, as long as it is somewhere Nathan can’t find them. If you don’t, I will surely let my father know,” she shouted and with that, stormed out of Longstands’s room.

  Longstands slumped back into his bamboo chair, exhausted, confused, and deflated. He had been meaning to talk to his son about the diary and its contents but the boy had been carefully avoiding his parents. Nathan spent most of his time at the beach or amongst the slaves. What a bargaining power his possession of the diary earned him and how well he was using it, Longstands thought. He reached into his drawer and pulled out a box that he rarely touched; in it lay the last stick of a Cuban cigar. It was going to be the first time he would light one for any reason other than victory—this one was being lit for defeat.