by Blythe Stone
“We should get this framed.” She clicked a few things and then sighed happily, putting her phone away again. “It’s a shame we have to go,” she said.
“We can stay,” I reminded. There was no rush at all. I just didn’t want things to be boring for her.
“Just for a minute, yeah?”
“For however long you want,” I answered. “I could sleep here. It’s beautiful, really.”
I wasn’t sure what she was feeling. Sometimes her thoughts scared me because they got so intense. When she became quiet I was especially worried about her thoughts. Sometimes she would go somewhere in her mind and I just wouldn’t know where she was or what to do.
“Have you ever been camping?” She pulled down her sunglasses and gazed out over the hill.
“Well,” I laughed. “A little bit; here and there. And- when I was very young- I tried some overly-expensive independent bastardization of Girl Scouts but they usually put us in cabins and you know I went to those certain schools... Spoiled kids in the forest being forced to rough it?” I laughed. “Didn’t go over too well. It was very Troop Beverly Hills,” I joked. “Just a bit new-agey.”
They tried to give us pot. My mom flipped.
“I guess the closest I’ve come is the hikes and the safaris and the rainforests. That probably sounds ridiculous… We just always had guides who did everything. But I’ve slept in tents and under the stars before, mostly out of necessity, if that’s what you’re asking,” trying to get at what she was asking was my whole problem. I just said too much and sounded ridiculous.
“I’ve always wanted to go to Alaska and try to homestead,” I realized, too late, I was saying a lot of very odd things.
Hiking was always a favorite of mine. I’d done a lot of big hikes in crazy places but some local too, like going up Half-Dome in Yosemite, and following a couple of guides up Mount Fuji.
The Safari’s, at least the ones that mattered, were with my mom and my dad in Africa and in Dubai. The Girl Scout phase was VERY short-lived. It literally only lasted a few weeks. There were certain politics and I hated it all right away, for moral reasons, my mom pulled me out, she didn’t trust the leaders and she found it a joke.
“Do you ever go camping?” I asked, returning her question.
“We’ve lived very different lives,” she said with a smile. “Yes, my dad took us. We used to go in the summer when I was little a lot. Just off to the lake or somewhere in Oregon but once we went to the Grand Canyon.”
Little Avery and little Adam… My heart dropped in my chest. Those were probably her happiest times, back when things were the most put together and normal. Her whole family around. Her dad probably caught his own fish and grilled them right there. We had guides do that before. She and Adam probably fought to put up the tent, maybe even doing it twice and timing each other.
My father could fish but he only did it for show. And definitely not for me, for the others.
All my stories were about adventures, not togetherness.
“I sound stupid when I talk,” I noted sadly.
“No, you don’t? Why do you think that?”
She made me face her.
“I just say really weird things… Things you could never expect to hear. Sometimes I hear myself- the words- and I just want to erase them, try again. You just asked if I went camping and I went off on this list of ridiculous things I’d almost forgotten I’d done. I just sound like a fucking idiot sometimes,” it was true.
Camping is simple. It’s not days and days in a desert or a whole week of being doted on by locals who are trying to get money from you.
Avery probably thought I was insane.
“I love the Grand Canyon though,” I added on nervously. “I’ve stayed in a cabin there, on the bottom. Slept under the stars. Swam the rivers. Rode horses. My mom has a close friend who made the whole place sound just magical when I was there. There was all this lore, all these stories I knew nothing about. The native people,” I was talking again... “I could’ve introduced you to Roberta once but it would’ve meant blowing the surprise on your ring. Sorry,” I didn’t feel much like talking anymore. I didn’t like the way I talked. It felt indulgent sometimes. Presumptuous.
If there was anything Avery had shown me in the past few months it was that I was very uninteresting. There were so many things she was talking about with me now that she wasn’t talking about with me while we were at school.
Boredom led her to interest, that’s all.
“So, you’ve done all of these things and you were answering my question. That doesn’t make you sound like an idiot,” she said. “I love your stories and the things that you’ve done. It’s just that you had those opportunities. You shouldn’t feel weird talking about them. You don’t come off as pompous or anything. You’re unique. Like no one I know.”
She pulled me down and kissed me. “You wanna go?”
See... Pompous. Her word. Not mine.
“I wanna not think about how weird my life probably seems… I remember how you used to look at me.”
Says the girl who just played the fiddle on the mountain near the winery?!?!?!
Meeting Avery had really done a number on my common self-appraisal. I mean, I always knew I was a brat but this was just nuts.
“What do you mean?” Her brows knit together and she shook her head slightly.
“You looked at me like I was an alien, Avery,” I laughed.
Granted, it could’ve been my behavior but I was pretty sure that wasn’t the only case.
“I didn’t know you,” she said. “I never thought you were an alien though. I was used to the people I’d hung out with. They never had any stories to tell other than typical High School things. You were an unexpected revelation.”
Things like this made me worry. I was different. Superficially so.
I was certainly no revelation. I was starting to wonder if maybe she was taking something and not telling me.
I hated the thought that she might be keeping an important thing like that. I’d done some quick research on Bipolar Disorder and a lot of the people with that diagnosis took pills.
Worse than all that though, selfishly, I hated to think she might only love me because I loved her first.
I hated it but it was a big part of me, a part I couldn’t erase.
It was all stupid to think about right now though, so dumb.
“Come on,” I said, kissing her back. I shut my eyes into the feeling of her now away from school. Even if it was manufactured, even if she was on something, even if we were both trying too hard, I loved it. “We can see the rest of the art if you want.”
I’d already seen it.
Seeing it with her would be different.
“Okay,” she said and then opened and closed her mouth again before letting out a breath.
“What?” I asked, nervously. “What is it?”
“You do know that part of why I love you is because you’re different, right? It’s not really that you’re different, per se. It’s more that you are a lot of things that intrigue me and excite me.”
“I’m not different,” I said. I’m not perfect either. “There are a lot of girls out there like me. People literally train monkeys to do the stupid shit that I can do.”
“I sound weird but whatever,” She chewed her lip and looked at me. “There aren’t. There are girls that you have things in common with but there’s only one you. I have a lot in common with other people too but there’s only one me too so I’m glad the one me found the one you… Or vice versa.”
“No one’s like you,” I said softly, so sure I was actually angry.
I let out a breath and held at her sides, resting my eyes in the crook of her neck and trying to believe that she could be right about me. I held her neck with my hand. Suddenly the view was so unnecessary. Avery was all that mattered to me, it was just so very true.
Her skin was so soft and warm. I breathed in the scent of her sweat and wanted to taste it but kne
w that was probably weird so I laughed.
“What? What did you just think?” She leaned into me and smiled.
“You smell good and I want to taste you,” I whispered, licking her neck sort of secretly and rolling my eyes. I felt her arms holding my body, protecting me and treating me like I was precious. On the hill, her loving me felt too otherworldly. I almost felt I could explode.
We were definitely getting out of hand. Good thing we both liked that.
Chapter Sixteen
Avery
The museum was fun, the vineyard was better. When we got back down the hill we breezed through the rest of the gallery and didn’t bother to take the guided tour. We weren’t really guided kind of people. This was our time and we were in our own world right now.
I’d used the word revelation. It was a dramatic word but one that was warranted in this case. I knew that she was still getting used to me being so with her. I did that. I got stuck in my own mental sea and by the time I got out I usually had lost something.
She was still here and I was determined to stay in the life raft. This day was the most perfect one I’d ever known. There were moments where our feelings spiked in several given directions but it was beauty. The art we saw was hard to understand at times. Like us. We could never fully get inside each other and those struggles brought with them an absolute. Even with all the emotions flying about it wasn’t a heavy day.
We’d made it to the grocery store a little while later. It was a nice natural food store with a decent selection. I had the cart and was standing in the middle of the produce, trying to think of what we might want to have around for the rest of the week.
Oranges were always good but the ones I found felt a little squishy. I held one in each hand and squeezed them lightly. Olivia came back to the cart with a bag full of apples.
“What do you think? Too ripe?” I laughed and held out the oranges.
“You’re too ripe,” she said, taking them from me without squeezing them and throwing them right into her basket without further inspection. She walked to the other side of me and picked a few lemons and then limes. She made sure to lean over me real close and pretend the proximity was accidental but I knew her better than that.
“Uh huh,” I said, clearing my throat and not moving an inch. She was in my personal space and I liked it but I wasn't going to let on just yet.
I picked up a few kiwis and added them to the growing pile of fruit in the cart. “You’re too sweet.”
“And here I thought I was sour,” she said, turning to the other side and pulling a small basket of cherry tomatoes to put in the cart. She was looking at the bottoms to make sure they weren’t all damaged. The place was pretty solid though, nothing really looked old or jostled or bruised. “I need cilantro,” she said.
I strolled over to the greens and pilfered through the pile of cilantro for a good bundle and brought it back. “M’lady,” I said offering her the bunch with dramatic flair.
She took it from me, her lips twitching as she hid her satisfaction and through the bunch in the cart. “Onions,” she challenged, her eyebrow raised.
“Ah! White or red?” I stood, awaiting her orders.
“Both,” she decided easily.
I trotted off around the next display and chose a few of both, grabbing a bunch of garlic just in case and returning to her, offering the items.
“Your onions with a bonus item.”
“Hmmm,” she made a face. “I didn’t ask for that,” she walked away.
“Damn,” I said, pouting and hanging my head. “As usual garlic ruined things for me. Wait up!”
I pushed the basket after her, dropping the onions in but leaving the garlic. She was just up the way, checking out something I couldn’t see.
“I can’t believe you rejected my garlic.”
“Independent thought can be so dangerous,” she teased.
“Yes, you realize this is how wars and revolutions are started, right?”
I squeezed in beside her just to be close and to feel her body.
“I’m glad you understand,” she pretended to be all serious. “A Queen has to nip these things in the bud.” She reached her hand around and held my body, encouraging me to stay close. I felt her lean back into me. “I do appreciate the sentiment,” she confided in a whisper. “Have I truly offended thee, terribly? Please, I pray thee, say no. I couldn’t bare it.” She’d been whispering, playing my game.
“No, my Queen. I am not offended but I am determined to win your favor with fruit and vegetables.”
We were silly and I loved it. This felt like those moments that should last forever. Doing simple things with simple intentions and no trauma or misfortune looming.
“Behind closed doors, I shall repay you. I swear,” she promised. “I can be equally as giving. I hope.”
“Oh?” I slipped my arm around her side in return. “I will wait with bated breath.” I turned to look at her profile- and managed to kiss her cheek- before she turned to look back.
“Now, what else do you need?” I asked. “I suspect you’re planning a meal or some such thing.”
“Would you like a feast?” She asked.
“Yes,” I said, stepping around her and leaving the cart. When I got to the other side I leaned into her. “A feast of Olivia.”
I could practically feel her body shudder as I pushed into her and felt how affected she was.
“Buy whatever you want,” she said. “I’ll make you anything.”
“I know you will but I’m kind of at a loss now. I guess I’m just focused on something else.” I ran a finger down her shoulder and onto her arm.
I didn’t even care about food right now. Not after the hill and the things I could feel coming from her. Sometimes my head got dark and I could still see her but it was a little harder. Now, I’d been blinded and was adjusting to that light. I wanted so badly just to kiss her for an hour even if we were standing in front of salad mixes.
I felt her hand come up to stop my fingers on her arm.
“Sorry, I’m getting carried away.” I cleared my throat and slid my hand down to meet hers. “I’m thinking potatoes.”
“I like when you take care of me,” she said.
“So, do I. It makes me happy, giddy even.”
“Yeah well, it does things to me,” she stared.
“Oh, not public display type things. Would you like to hurry this shopping trip along and get back to the house? I think I feel a very great need to kiss you for a very long time.”
“I never would’ve left today if that was really an option,” she spoke clearly. “Not that it wasn’t perfect in every way. Which it was.”
“Mmmm, you’re right, it was perfect. I’m glad we did it. I got to see you play a violin and now I know that I need to see that again.”
I pulled her along, pushing the cart beside her and heading for the meat section.
“You know I’ll play anything for you,” she said. As we passed certain items she pulled them out and tossed them in.
“Then I want to go to the music room when we get back. What about cello? I have a thing for the cello.”
I took a couple of tuna steaks from the fish case and put them in the basket. It was the only kind of fish I was willing to try and I was just waiting for her to say something.
“Not those,” she said. “These. You’ll like it, I promise,” she put the tuna steak back and reached for the halibut. “And yes, I can play the cello for you. If I couldn’t, I’d even learn.”
“That’s awesome. Thank you,” I said, taking her hand and kissing it. She was forever doing things for me and to learn an instrument… It said a lot.
We walked through the baking aisle. “Brownies!” I grabbed a box and then looked at them. “Na,” I said, putting them back. I didn’t want to be using up a bunch of dishes that we would have to wash.
“Eh, you think of anything else?”
She reached back to the brownie box and pulled it into the cart.
“I mean it,” she said. “I will make you anything. You want a twelve course meal? I will make you a twelve course meal. You want a themed feast? I will make it. You want seventeen varied desserts? I will do it. Just say.”
“Aww,” I said, pulling her in. I kissed her and resisted the urge to tangle my hand in her hair and really disappear into her.
“Brownies are fine. Especially those since they have caramel.”
I put my hands back on the cart and pushed it along. “We should hit the milk. I need creamer.”
She followed me, taking things and adding them around me as we went.
“Let’s go,” I pulled the creamer out and stuck it in the basket.
We got up to the check-out and the girl started to ring our items up.
There were a few magazines near the conveyer belt and Olivia took one of them and threw it on as well.
“Do you watch PLL?” The checkout girl asked after seeing the mag.
“Of course,” Olivia blushed.
It was Shay Mitchell again, right there on the cover. I clenched my jaw.
“Her Instagram is amazing,” the checker said.
At this point I was wishing for a little more checking out and a little less talking but I tried not to let it show. The girl was just being friendly and Olivia happened to like a celebrity. Didn’t matter that her ex-girlfriend looked like her or that she had fantasized about her in the past. I took in a long breath.
“I love her Instagram. She’s insane. All those videos are so funny.”
“Did you watch that YouTube one she did with Ingrid Nilsen?”
“Oh, I loved that,” Olivia seemed interested. “Her, favorite things one?”
“Yeah,” the checker flirted, tucking her hair behind her ear.
I tapped my fingers on the edge of the counter and twitched.
“Babe, are you sure we didn’t forget anything?” I asked, putting my hand on the small of her back.
“Oh, you’re together?” The checker asked.
“Yes,” I said. I didn’t want to rub it in or be rude. I just wanted her to know that Olivia wasn’t available.
