Thanks for pushing me towards Amsterdam!
Hugs,
Annika”
After that she went to buy some things for her place with the advance pay her employer had been generous enough to give her, knowing her situation. She bought a few pot plants, some curtains for the windows, a shower curtain with zebras and a few cushions to put on the windowsill. Remembering the previous evening, she dropped by a bookshop and bought a novel. It would keep her company in bed. Tomorrow was a big day – her first working day in Amsterdam!
****
Vasko on the other hand had his own beginnings. He flew over the ocean and finally got to where he’d dreamt of being. But the story with Annika had taken all the pleasure away and he no longer enjoyed his dream. It felt empty and pointless without her, and Vasko wondered if he had made the right choice. The worst problem was that he could not find an answer. He was not sure of anything any longer.
Vasko lived on the university campus, with a room-mate from Hungary. Since Vasko was not an extrovert and did not have many friends even back home, the transition was smooth. He was addicted to knowledge and studying, and that part was perfectly catered for there. He enjoyed the classes, the professors were great and he spent most of his evenings poring over the textbooks. Needless to say, crazy student life with its alcohol-fuelled parties and wild adventures, not to mention sexual experiments, were just not in his schedule.
Vasko had been checking his mail for a week, but still there was no news from Annika. He was sure Annika was mad at him and that most probably she wanted everything to end that way – quietly, with no talk and no tears.
She was in Amsterdam, he was in the US, and there was an ocean and more between them.
Vasko had given up waiting for Annika's e-mail when it finally came. He read it and took a deep breath. It all depended on him now. Why did she say that? Why was she putting all the responsibility on his shoulders? Why hadn’t she even given a hint about what she wanted him to do?
Vasko felt confused. In this state of confusion he even wondered if he wasn’t just a pill for Annika to pop to get over Stefan. He was always pretty insecure about the whole matter. Vasko thought that Stefan had had such a profound emotional influence on Annika that he would never be able to match up. He was not Stefan and it seemed that Annika had loved Stefan too much. Would Stefan have stayed with Annika instead of leaving for the US, Vasko wondered? Most probably yes, and most probably that was why Annika had loved him so much.
There was only one situation that had put Vasko to the test and he had failed. From the very first try, he was immediately disqualified. Would Annika give him a chance to re-take the test? That's what she’d written in the e-mail, but did she mean it? Vasko had no idea what he should do. His heart did not whisper the answer, his soul did not provide the solution and Annika's e-mail did not tell him anything specific. In short – he was lost.
****
Annika's life in Amsterdam was full of new experiences. She found many new people, her lifestyle was completely different and she felt very happy. Her patients were very different, but she loved them all. The mere thought that she could help them and ease their pain was enormously gratifying.
With each day that passed, she loved Amsterdam more. Annika enjoyed the free spirit of the crazy city with all its colours – red lights, green parks and the blue river. With each day she found she was successfully integrating into its life more and more. Like a real Amsterdamer, Annika bought a very nice bike which took her everywhere she wanted to go. In the evenings she sat on the windowsill, looked at the sunset and breathed in the second-hand marijuana.
She did not buy a television. The only items of civilization were a small stereo, her laptop and the coffee machine. By now her room had become a calm, cosy, warm place which she loved coming back to. By now she already had a few friends and not all the evenings were lonely. She went out with them twice a week. Things were beginning to fall into place.
Annika was also back in cyber space. This time she relied on e-mails and did not spend her time in chat rooms. There were very few people she kept in touch with: her parents, a few friends and Vasko...
Vasko was trying to claw back their previous romance, but for the time being things were suspended in mid-air. Annika was vague. It seemed as though Vasko had to make her fall in love with him again. But after what he had done, and given where they were both living, he was not sure that it was possible.
****
Vasko knew that he would lose Annika unless he did something crazy, drastic and extraordinary. Time and distance were adding to the emotional divide. He was slowly losing her and that is exactly when he finally realised that she meant everything to him and that she was all he really needed.
Vasko had not had a happy childhood. He had always lacked the warmth and attention most children got from their parents. Vasko thought it normal, but when he met Annika and experienced what it was to be loved and be cared for, then he finally felt the contrast. After Annika left, Vasko retired to the colder side of his life and he desperately wanted the warmth back. Especially he longed for Annika's warmth.
That was why he spent days thinking what to do and how to recover what he was fast losing. He hated the e-mails he and Annika exchanged because they were so artificial. How could they write loveless e-mails after what had happened to them and after what they had shared together? Yet again Vasko tried to chase away Stefan's ghost from his head. He was beginning to become obsessed by the guy – something that made him feel angry, insecure and irritated. He knew they were almost complete opposites and, knowing how much Annika had loved Stefan, he wondered if she could ever love him as strongly too. In short, he kept torturing himself every single day.
One day Vasko finally woke up to the realisation that enough was enough. He had to act instead of feeling sorry for himself. He had to be honest with himself and with Annika. He had to tell her everything he felt inside face-to-face and wait for what would happen next. After all, even if things did not work out, he would at least know that he had tried. Vasko went on-line and bought himself a ticket to Amsterdam.
His graduation was in two weeks’ time and his flight was just after his final exam.
24
Annika was slowly regaining her balance. She regretted the fact that, although everything seemed fine, she slept alone at night and neither one of her big loves had lasted. She still loved both of them, but with each passing day it seemed as if none of it mattered any more. Both guys were far away, and all she had left were her memories. The strangest thing of all was that she thought of both of them. She missed both of them too. Reality whispered to her that both stories were behind her but her soul kept saying that, no matter what, both were still in her life and in her heart.
Vasko's e-mails were warm and kind, but the magic did not seem to be there anymore. No matter how much she loved him, the bitterness was still around. She still felt betrayed and could not forgive him completely. The fact that he had done absolutely nothing to change matters only proved to her that Vasko thought his choice was justified.
In order to somehow fill the two vast voids in her soul, Annika read a lot, spent time with her new friends and worked overtime. There were a few patients who eventually became her best friends. Regardless of the two aching voids, Annika liked the way things were turning out in the end. She enjoyed living in Holland and being given another opportunity to help people.
As for the men in her life, she was getting by with a few one night stands. Pure sex with no emotions involved. Amsterdam was a horny city and she needed sex once in a while. So far it had worked out fine. She did not feel as if she was betraying anyone, although sometimes she did speculate on what Vasko would say if he were to find out.
****
It was one of those nights for going out. Annika was already feeling horny and knowing what was going to happen, was dressing up for sex. It is strange how the same actions when love and feelings are involved can differ so much from when
there is nothing like that. The pure physical act is less complicated. Annika did not care what a stranger thought about her or how he would feel afterwards. It was all about herself – her desires, needs and pleasures. Nothing more, nothing less.
Annika stood in front of the mirror and watched herself in the new lace lingerie she had bought to feel sexy. The bra hugged her breasts perfectly and the panties accentuated exactly where most attention should be paid. High heels enhanced her slender long legs. With her lingerie, hosiery and high heels, she could be featuring on the cover of Maxim.
The second stage was to apply her makeup. For these occasions Annika made up heavily.
Black eyeliner gave a smoky eyes effect and lip gloss made her lips look full and appetising. Like most women she opened her mouth slightly while putting on mascara, which made her eyes look bigger. Then she took the perfume and applied it to the most unexpected parts of her body.
When all was done, she looked quite the vamp – self-confident, extremely attractive and sexy. In other words, she did not look like herself. If Stefan or Vasko had seen her, and those were the men who had had her in their beds, they would definitely not believe their eyes.
The last and most difficult part was what to wear. Her wardrobe did not offer a wide choice and since she did not shop for clothes, and especially not for occasional sexual encounters, the choice was even smaller. She picked out a skimpy black dress with a plunging neckline and slipped it on. Then she put her hair up to show off her neck and put on long, pendant earrings.
She was just about ready when one of her friends called to give her a lift as arranged, and out they went. Today was a girls’ night out, and the four of them were determined to have a good, steamy time.
Annika's friends were single, two of them in fact divorced. They were all lonely and thus not that happy with their lot. Nights like these helped them to relax, forget their personal problems and unwind. Maybe it did not show them in the most ethical or moral light, but the four of them were pretty decent. They’d simply been hurt too badly, and were too smart to jump into yet another relationship after having been burned more than once before.
By the time they got there, the club was almost packed.
“Remember girls? We keep hold of our beer bottles or cocktail glasses and if we let go of them, we order new ones.”
Annika was the most cautious of the four. She trusted no-one and made sure they didn't get into messy situations. Cases of people surreptitiously slipping a drug into a girl's drink and taking advantage of them afterwards were quite common. Not that they had not come there for sex, but still they did not need the “drug” part and they wanted to make their choices themselves rather than be chosen.
After a bottle of beer Annika decided to hit the dance floor. She loved the fact that in clubs she could dissolve in music, close her eyes and forget everything. Her body followed the beat and she felt easy and light. It was a night to forget all her problems, worry about nothing and have a good time with a nice-looking guy. Next morning it would all be gone and she would wake up to reality... but not yet, baby ... not yet!
Annika was dancing with her eyes closed. Suddenly she felt two hands touching her and a masculine body dancing very close to hers. The hands were hungry, while her body was hungry for them. She didn’t want to open her eyes; she didn’t want to see whose hands they were. It didn’t matter. So she started dancing with the body which had no image of a face for her yet. Her eyes were closed and she saw only darkness and she felt only the body getting closer and closer to hers. No one could ever understand how she could act like that. To be honest she never understood it either. Maybe it was because she was too lonely or too young to be without sex for long, or maybe both.
The guy’s hands were bold and tender at the same time. The warmth was spreading inside her body. She opened her eyes and liked what she saw. He was a young guy, almost a head higher than her - even with those high heels. He had very nice curly black hair and extremely attractive blue eyes. One more glance at his body and she was completely won over. If Annika were honest with herself, then this guy looked much better and sexier than either Vasko or Stefan. That is if one judged objectively and took into consideration only the physical characteristics, of course.
“What’s your name?” the guy shouted in her ear so she could hear through the loud music.
“Monica,” Annika answered. Somehow on nights like this, when she was acting like a slut, Monica's name always came to her mind. And since she would never tell anyone her real name, her bitchy ex-girlfriend's name was the one she used.
“I'm Greg,” the guy answered with the sexiest smile she had ever seen.
She smiled back and hugged him tight. Greg took it as invitation and started kissing her neck. Annika never understood what turned her on so fast. Was it the fact that she had had no sex for weeks, or the fact that she was doing it with a stranger or maybe the fact that at her age hormones were dictating their own rules. The reason was not clear, but that she was getting wet and enjoying every single kiss was absolutely indisputable.
For her nothing existed at that moment. It was only the music, Greg and her spinning head. When Greg moved his head closer and gently kissed her lips, she felt her knees go weak. She pushed her tongue into his mouth and gave him a master-class in the art of well-practised French kissing.
Greg took her hand and led her away from the dance floor. Annika followed him, no questions asked. Never before had she been so attracted to a stranger. Greg took her to the darkest corner of the lounge and pushed her back against the wall. “Hmmmm, it seems he knows this place well and it is not the first time he has done this,” Annika thought with a wicked smile.
Annika's body was pressed between the wall and Greg. She liked feeling almost helpless, with her legs feeling weak above her high heels and Greg's strong hands moving all over her body. His mouth was hungry and his tongue urgent. Annika loved his taste. It was a mixture of cigarette and mint chewing gum. She could feel his hard-on through his jeans and it turned her on even more.
“My case is obvious. What about you? Do you want me?” The words reached her ear.
“Why don't you check it out yourself?” Annika shouted back, looking deep into his eyes, bringing a horny smile to her lips.
Greg raised his eyebrow and then moving closer made sure that his body was completely covering hers so no one could see. Then looking straight into her eyes he accepted the challenge and moved his hand below her short dress. Greg's hand knew its way only too well. He moved up Annika's leg and stopped when he was almost there. Annika's breath stopped. Then, still continuing looking into her eyes, his fingers moved her panties away and reached the soft, wet skin of her clit. Playing a bit with it he continued moving further.
From the way Annika arched her back, closed her eyes and half-opened her mouth, he understood that she had sighed, although he could not hear it through the loud music. Annika could not believe her reactions. She had never felt such animal attraction to anyone before, or at least, to anyone she did not love. Right then, she completely forgot about the friends she’d come with, about the time and the place and about everything else. She simply did not care. All she wanted was to be touched, kissed and fucked by this guy. Maybe Stefan felt the same about heroin, she thought.
Greg's voice brought her back to reality.
“Next time you masturbate, promise you will think of me and my fingers,” said he, pushing his two fingers inside her.
Annika had already lost control. She felt weak and happy at the same time.
Greg pulled his fingers away and licked them.
“Shall we go?” he asked.
“I thought you would never ask,” she shouted back at his ear.
Greg could not take it any more; he grabbed her hand and led her towards the exit.
The cool, fresh air hit Annika's face and partly brought her to her senses.
“Here is my car,” Greg pointed to the tiny blue Mini Cooper parked on the other sid
e of the street.
When they sat in the car and Greg started the engine, he asked:
“Your place or mine?”
“I live with a room-mate. So I guess yours - if you live alone, that is.” Now after Annika had cooled down, she recalled her rule of not taking any of these guys back to her place.
“Ok.”
There was something extremely attractive about this guy and Annika could not take her hands off him. While Greg was driving she unzipped his trousers and caressed his cock, which to her astonishment was fully erect. When she set it free and looked at it, the naughty mood came over her. Without thinking too much she leaned down and took it in her mouth. Greg did not expect anything like that. He was facing a dilemma: should he stop and end up making out in the tiny car, risking painful bumps and blue marks at the end, apart from the inconvenient body positions, or continue driving in order to get home fast, and risk crashing the car meanwhile. Before he could decide, Annika raised her face and said:
“Floor that accelerator, I can't wait too long.”
Highfall Page 9
