Bittersweet Melody

by Belinda Boring

  There was no doubt. Cooper Hensley was a man you could never kiss just once.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Cooper

  The sweet, needy sound she made as I pulled away was almost my undoing.

  “I thought you said you’d behave,” she murmured breathlessly. The fact I’d rendered her that way wasn’t lost on me or my ego. I also knew I was messing with fire—this hot and cold behavior was unfair to her.

  I couldn’t help it, though. Everything was churning inside me—feelings that wouldn’t shut the fuck up no matter how hard I tried to ignore them. I hadn’t lied that I needed more time before having ‘the talk’ with her. But seeing her there tonight, seeing her face light up each time I looked at her, having her back in my arms where she belonged, did something to me.

  So while my original intention was to go to my room alone, each floor we passed on our way up made that intention appear more and more foolish.

  We were adults.

  We could talk tomorrow.

  “No, I said I’d be good, and that was just one of the things I’m exceptional at.” Tipping her chin up with my finger, I brushed the side of her cheek, noting the slight tremble. “More?”

  Desire flooded her eyes, and I felt myself harden from the heat. There had been countless girls before her, but none had ever had such an effect—so quickly. She intrigued me. She frustrated me. The hold Caylee had over me was something I needed to purge from my system. There was no room for weakness or chinks in the armor I’d encased myself in.

  My inner douchebag always surfaced at the wrong times. Deep down, I knew I couldn’t be that callous with her. But the thought didn’t hold merit. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe what I needed was one night with her to determine whether what I was feeling was real.

  I was a player.

  But with her . . . she came with a different set of rules.

  Fuck, she confused me. This whole situation messed with my head, scrambling everything.

  With one good fuck, she’ll fade away.

  Ignoring the lie, I rocked my hips against her, trailing my finger over her bare shoulder. Her breath hitched, telling me the answer before her mouth moved, lips I was eager to have all over me. Multiple times.

  “I shouldn’t,” she whispered, chewing on the inside of her mouth.

  “You definitely should,” I countered, grazing my teeth over the soft spot where my hand had just been. Turning her around, I gripped onto her hips as she fumbled with her room key. Her fingers shook, whether from anticipation or nerves, it didn’t matter. Once I was finished with her, she’d be lucky if she could string two coherent words together.

  “Need help?” I brushed her hair to the side, burying my face into the crook of her neck. My tongue traced over her sweet skin, and I was rewarded with a squeak.

  “No,” she stammered. The green light flashed and the door lock clicked. “I got it.”

  I didn’t give her a chance to recover, pushing her through the entryway, letting the door shut behind me. The standard hotel room was darkened with a faint light shining through from outside. There was no need to look around—the only thing I was interested in was the queen-size bed along the center wall and how quickly I could get her naked beneath me.

  “Cooper.” There was that uncertainty again. Damn, if Caylee didn’t think too much.

  “No talking, darlin’. Just feeling.” To prove my point, I pulled her tightly against me again and crooked her long leg around my waist. It placed her close and within my touch. I wanted to control her, dominate her. The need was becoming frantic.

  Sliding my right hand into her hair, I dragged her lips back to mine—giving her little time to prepare for my onslaught. She groaned into my mouth, another noise that drove me crazy. When her other leg wrapped around my hips and she adjusted her weight, the friction almost pushed me over the edge. I held her there, my body on fire, eager to release the tension coiled within me and pour it into her.

  Sex before had always been that—sex. This had evolved into something more.

  I craved Caylee.

  I needed her.

  For the next few hours, I would consume her.

  As I lowered us both onto the bed, our lips never stopped. With each dip of my tongue, her taste dragged me deeper and deeper. I couldn’t get enough as my hands began to explore, sliding up her leg and beneath her short skirt. My fingers slipped under the hem of her panties, and I was the one who now moaned. I found no resistance—only submission.

  With one small touch, her back arched. Suddenly, it wasn’t just her mouth I wanted to feast on. I wanted it all.

  When I kissed my way down her neck, Caylee tilted her head to the side as if to invite me to linger. The temptation was strong, my tongue teasing the sensitive spot I’d found earlier, but my attention couldn’t be distracted from what I’d yet to discover.

  Reluctantly, I moved my hand from beneath her skirt. There would be plenty of time for that later when I’d stripped her down to nothing but divine skin.

  “So beautiful,” I murmured, slowly raising her shirt so I could get a peek at her stomach. Goose bumps flared as I softly blew over the hidden flesh. She moved to take off her shirt, but I wasn’t having it. Just like a kid at Christmas, she was my gift, and damned if I was going to be robbed of unwrapping her.

  Flashing her a warning glance, I placed her hands over her head, securing them for the moment with my own. There was a fleeting look of fear, but as quickly as it appeared, it was gone. In it’s place, Caylee’s heavy-lidded stare all but smoldered that she understood. She may not have ever had a lover like me, but I would make it so she’d never forget. “For tonight, you are mine.”

  “Yes, Cooper.” There was no flinching on her part, if anything, it made her squirm against me, and it confirmed my suspicions. Caylee was just as turned on as I was.

  The time for talking was definitely over. Now, it was time to play.

  I unbuttoned her shirt with my finger, each move heightening the intensity between us. When she was finally exposed to me, the lace from her bra proved nothing short of an annoyance. Lingerie always had that affect. It was pretty to look at, but all it did was keep me from what I hungered for. Her breasts were full, her nipples hard, and that was where I wanted my mouth next. I growled low in my throat as I unsnapped the front clasp and freed her breasts.

  The moment I tugged her tight bud into my mouth, Caylee’s hips rose off the bed. “Cooper!” The sound of my name on her lips made me suck harder. Her arms wrapped around me, and her nails dug into my back for purchase. The act ricocheted my arousal through the roof. With one hand cupping her, my fingers skimmed over her body until they rested over her panties.

  I was on sensory overload.

  I was in Heaven.

  “Cooper . . .”

  I didn’t answer. To talk meant I’d need to release her nipple.

  “My phone.”

  “Ignore it, sweetheart.” I slipped my fingers underneath her panties, finding warmth.

  “It might be—” Stroking the one spot I knew would rob her senses, I showed no mercy. “Cooper . . . we still need to talk before we go any further.”

  The effect was instant. Where once there was an inferno, now I was filled with a glacial freeze. No other sentence could’ve reminded me how stupid this was. Despite the attraction and my need to conquer whatever pulled me to her, the fact still remained—she wanted something I couldn’t give. Even though she might deny it, women had always proven this one thing true.

  Sex wasn’t just sex for them. She would expect something in the morning, mistaking the physical connection of tonight for a promise of something more tomorrow.

  I was stupid to let my cock think for me, and in that one moment, I was grateful for the incoming phone call.

  “Then you better answer it.” Lifting myself off her, I didn’t look down at the bed. I couldn’t. I didn’t want to see the hurt I knew would be there. Adjusting my jeans and letting out a disappointed br
eath, I offered a brief wave. “Get some sleep. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

  I didn’t give her a chance to speak, instead fleeing the room and escaping down the hall. I needed a drink—several—alcohol being the one thing I knew that could ease the weight lodged in my chest.

  Because if I was going to be brutally honest, it wasn’t the phone call that had made me run or refuse to look Caylee in the eye. It was knowing that with just one glance, I would’ve stayed. I would’ve lowered my guard and let her in.

  And that was what scared the shit out of me.

  ****

  Caylee had been quiet the entire day, barely speaking a few words, and usually only when I’d ask her a direct question. I knew it was because I’d left her so abruptly, but I’d rather her thinking me a dick than know the truth.

  Sometimes the truth didn’t set you free.

  Sometimes it confined, keeping you in bondage.

  I knew I needed to make it up to her. Maybe not with the repeat of last night I knew she was desperate for, but there were other things I could share—friendlier things. With the show over and our weekend obligations met, there was plenty of time for us to simply relax and see where the conversation led. There was no sound checks or rehearsals to interrupt. If we didn’t talk tonight, there was still the long drive home.

  “Do you need me for anything else?” I asked, clapping Marty’s neck affectionately. Even with my love life in turmoil, he was always someone I could count on.

  “I got the rest of this, you go and find Caylee.” He winked and I chuckled. He knew me well. Leaving him to make sure all our equipment was packed away, I made it only a few steps away before my phone rang. My stomach sank when I recognized the number—a call I wasn’t prepared for.

  Marie.

  The moment I heard her voice, I knew this was a conversation best had in private. She’d taken to calling me once a week in the beginning, needing comfort as we mourned together. Owen’s mother was devastated by the news of her only son’s death, and as his best friend, I’d taken it upon myself to be there for her. Whenever she needed me. For however long she did.

  And no one knew our arrangement. Not even Caylee. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what she’d say if she did.

  We were kindred spirits, both choosing to bury our grief by numbing the pain. Alcohol slurred her words, making my heart hurt all the more for what she’d lost. The more she talked, the thicker the tears that fell. It was always the same. She kept asking me why. Why her son? I struggled as I tried to soothe away the agony in her words, all the while waiting for the question I knew would come.

  “Why couldn’t you save him, Cooper? My poor boy. He was too young to die.”

  There was never a right answer. Fuck, if I knew, it would help ease the guilt that continually gnawed at the edges of my soul. All I could do was murmur how sorry I was, how brave Owen had been, what a true hero he was. Even though she didn’t have her beloved son to hold, she could be proud of him. Over and over, apologies and regret flowed like a never-ending tide.

  They had a term for this when I was in the hospital recovering from being shot. Survivor’s guilt. To me, it was just a bullshit term for living in hell. Of knowing somehow, for reasons beyond my own understanding, I lived when Owen didn’t. It’s why I chased oblivion. It’s why, every week, I answered Marie’s call and flayed myself raw.

  The other side of the phone grew quiet, signaling her own memories had whisked her away.

  “I’m sorry, Marie. So truly sorry,” I whispered before hanging up.

  Resting my forehead against my forearm, I was grateful for the wall propping me up. I was exhausted. Beyond tired of everything—of breathing, of masking my anger at how unfair life was, of keeping everything tightly bound so I didn’t spill everywhere. Nothing had been the same since returning from duty and, despite my best efforts, ignoring what had happened only compounded just how wrong I felt.

  For the first time since coming home, I knew what I needed.

  A connection.

  I needed to feel. I needed to lower the walls and let in the warmth before the bitterness of war consumed me. And then, there she was—the innocence to my darkness.

  “Cooper, are you okay?” Caylee’s voice was like an elixir to my fragile psyche. She might not have known the horrors beneath the surface, but I knew her touch could still the howling inside me. I just had to be brave enough to take it.

  I pulled her into my arms, burying my face in her hair, breathing her scent deep into my lungs.

  “No. I’m not. I don’t want to be alone tonight, Caylee.” My body shook and, for once, I didn’t try to suppress it.

  “Then don’t be.”

  Staring into her eyes, I took that leap of faith and threw caution to the wind.

  I did the unthinkable.

  I let go.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Caylee

  There was no disguising the anguish in his eyes. Something had happened to shake the facade he usually showed the world. Cooper was clearly rattled—vulnerable even. My heart reached for him, a strong need within me to help. Any anger over last night flew out the window the moment he’d said he didn’t want to be alone. How could I deny him? How could I deny myself this chance?

  Everything could fall apart tomorrow, but for right now, we could have this beautifully flawed night.

  “Tell me what you need, Cooper,” I urged, trying to quell his trembling. He seemed to be collapsing before me.

  “I need something real, Caylee. I’m tired of the cold. Help me keep the darkness away.” His voice sounded so haunted.

  Taking his hand, I led him back to my room. Tonight’s gig had been in the hotel, a godsend as we rode the elevator up to the floor we were staying on in silence. He didn’t speak another word, a pensive, faraway look over his face. I wanted to ask what had changed, but I trusted my instinct to leave those questions for another time. Cooper’s body was wound tight, his muscles tense under my cautious touch. He was ready to snap, and I took him at his word.

  If he needed something real, I would give it to him.

  “Here we are,” I murmured softly, opening the door. Glancing at him, I didn’t know what to expect next. There was anticipation brewing in the air between us, and I waited to see whether he’d take the lead. When he made no move, it was decided—I was in charge.

  Placing my things beside the TV and slipping off my heels, I made no sound as I stood before him again, my hands on his chest. I feathered soft kisses along the underside of his jawline, inhaling the faint hint of his cologne before tugging on his shirt. His breathing sped up as I traced my tongue down his neck, rising up onto my tiptoes so I could brush my lips against his.

  “Whatever it is, let it go, Cooper. Let it go and be with me.” Cupping his face, my thumbs brushed over his cheeks, and he visibly relaxed as tension drained from him.

  “I don’t know how. I’ve held on to it for so long.”

  “Worry about it tomorrow. Tonight is just about us.” Reaching back, I released my hair from the clip that had kept it away from my eyes. “Cooper and Caylee. Nothing else exists beyond this room.”

  Something within him roused, sparking a fire and giving me a glimpse of the Cooper I was familiar with. He wrapped his arm around my waist, holding me tightly, and with an uncertainty that threatened to melt me, he hovered over my mouth with his.

  “Are you sure?

  I answered him by claiming his lips with a kiss that sent my heart racing and careening into bliss. It held the promise that whatever he was searching for, he could find it in me, and I held nothing back. Pouring myself into the connection, I wrapped my arms around his neck and opened up, my tongue dipping with his over and over again. With each kiss we shared, I became more intoxicated. Something told me, come tomorrow, I’d be forever changed. It would be impossible to go back to how things were after this.

  The attraction between us was undeniable, and I wasn’t going to resist it.

  “You’re w
earing too many clothes,” I whispered, surprised by how seductive I sounded.

  “My thoughts exactly.” Helping me out of my shirt, I returned the favor, reveling in the sight of his chiseled chest and hard abdominal muscles. I couldn’t keep from touching, my tongue flickering over his taut nipples. He tasted like sin. He tasted sublime.

  My hands went to his belt buckle, fumbling to undo it so I could see the rest of him. Cooper Hensley was a beautiful man, sexy to a fault, and I was going to enjoy every second with him. Where my kiss had promised him he was safe, his body told me the opposite. I was in real danger of drowning from the sensuality this man contained, especially when his entire focus was zeroed in on my pleasure.

  As his pants dropped to the ground, I didn’t bother stifling the gasp of surprise and appreciation. He was rock hard, every glorious inch primed and ready. Licking my lips, my throat suddenly dry, I offered a silent prayer that somehow I’d survive the night—my body and heart intact.

  Cooper took a step toward me, and I raised my hand to stop him. “Wait.” I pulled my top off, unclasping my bra, and with a dramatic pause, dropped them both onto the floor in a pile. The tension between us heightened, the sexual chemistry stirring to the point where it caused goose bumps to flush over my skin.

  No words were needed, Cooper’s face telling me everything he was thinking. He liked what he saw, needed what I was offering, and as I tweaked my nipples between my fingers, his low groan confirmed it.

  Backing up further until I hit the bed, I didn’t take my gaze away from his. His scrutiny burned hot over my body, and I was impatient for his touch. Whatever had fueled this moment wasn’t just about him anymore. I needed this as well. I wanted to know what it was like to be consumed, to not overanalyze every action—to simply exist.

  I crooked my finger, inviting him to reduce the distance between us, and smiled when he obeyed. There was no resisting as he pushed me back onto the bed.