by C. S. Lewis
CHAPTER IX
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Old Lord Robert, although a member of Parliament, had been by no means an enthusiastic politician, and his son had naturally grown up without strong political convictions. He was therefore somewhat perplexed as to which party he should support. Moved by his sense of justice he would naturally have been in favour of the emancipation of the cats, but to take up their cause he was somewhat loth, since he was by nature conservative and averse to changes; nor had his early surroundings been such as to encourage an adherance to the new party.
While the good frog was in this dilemma, his old school friend Colonel Smith-Gore, who was now a member of Parliament called upon him at Riverside, and urged him to take his seat on the Walterian bench. John listened with attention to the counsel of his friend, and asked for a few days in which to consider the matter.
The impetuous bulldog, however, accustomed as he was to the quick decisions which John had formed in their school days, when he had been accustomed to act first and think afterwards, was disgusted with what seemed to him lack of enthusiasm, and took his leave. Some friction followed between them, and shortly afterwards, John decided to champion the cause of the cats.
In the spring of 1898, at the age of 42, he was reëlected for Bigham, and took his seat under the leadership of Grimalkan. During the first months of this year, a furious conflict raged in the house.
The cat, who proved to be a politician of no mean ability, employed the first few sessions in reading to the Parliament the results of an investigation which he had made into the condition of the ejected nobles. Many cruel and disgraceful matters came to light and the public feeling was strongly excited in favor of the Feline Party. When these papers had been read and verified, Grimalkan delivered a short but powerful adress, and then called upon Sir Peter Mouse to speak.
The latter, in an oration which lasted till the grey dawn lit up the serried rows of members who had listened with delight through the long hours of darkness, pointed out how thoroughly the cats had, by the[ir] patriotism, fidelity and devotion to Boxen, wiped out the stain of their former crimes, and drew a touching picture of the poverty and disgrace of the disendowed peers of Catland.
Sir Charles Arabudda rose to reply and delivered a speech of some force, which, however, was not heard with much patience by a house of men who considered the speaker to be self-interested. Nor, indeed, can we ourselves quite acquit the member from such a charge; and it is a matter of dispute to the present day whether the good fish would have opposed feline emancipation, had not much of his income been derived from estates which had once belonged to the Grimalkan family.
Sir Charles Arabudda’s speech was followed by that of his son, young Charles, who, although he displayed much learning and an extensive knowledge of the theory of government, merely wasted the public time for three and a half hours.
When the house adjourned for the night, matters were at a standstill, although the country seemed somewhat on the side of Lord Grimalkan. The next day was occupied in a fiery argument between Smith-Gore and Lord John. As night was falling, the latter rose and began his famous speech on the common ties of blood and kinship which bound together the whole of Boxen.
‘It is a shameful thing’, said he, ‘That a state which has for the last four hundred years been so justly famed as one of the most loyal of our provinces, should still labour under a system of oppression, harsher than that practised by any Eastern despot, and having its origin in a grudge whose rights and wrongs have been forgotten. Five hundred years! – How many friendships, how many loves, how many ideals have those years wiped out? May they not suffice to wipe out one hate as well? Not one of the gentlemen on the other bench can bring forward any real merit of the cats for this barbarity. For the isolated instances of crime which Sir Charles has quoted might be applied with equal force to any province’.
These words brought to a close that day’s session, and once again, Lord John’s fame rang through Boxen. The streets of Murry shouted of him as they had done when he retured from Pongee, and Bombay acclaimed the echo of his oratory.
CHAPTER X
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But although the Diripian party was defended by such an able coalition and [was] so well favoured by the mass of its countrymen, a difficult task lay before it. Old customs die hard, and the Bill of Emancipation was vigourously opposed by both the kings, and by Lord Herbert Vant, the Little-Master.
Ten days after John’s famous speech the Bill was passed in the House by a majority of twenty-five, and, according to the law, sent up to Riverside Palace for the royal signature. It decreed that the estates of the Feline nobles should be returned to their proper owners, and that the cats should enjoy the same privileges as other Boxonians.
For many years the custom of sending a bill up for signature by the sovereigns had been a mere formality, as the latter had invariably agreed. What then was the speechless indignation and bitter dissapointment of Grimalkan’s friends, on learning that Benjamin and Hawki, whose resolute characters & unconventional methods we have touched upon before, refused to open the papers! Nothing could be done: the kings were within their rights and the project was perforce abandoned.
While John had been thus busily engaged in public affairs, it must not be supposed that he passed his private life in indolence. Busily engaged as he was in the education of his pupils and the complex duties of life at court, he had but little time for pleasure and amusement. Nevertheless, had he been free from a certain annoyance and worry when he was at work or at leisure, he would have been no less comfortable than any other courtier.
But this was by no means the case: ever since the earliest times the Boxonian monarchs had included in their train the office of court jester, a privileged person with a large salary and a comfortable pension on his retiring, who was licensed to pester his fellow-officers, – nay, sometimes even the kings themselves – with countless tricks and foibles.
‘Merry Ambrose’, as the professional wag was called, seemed to have chosen John as his special prey; for, indeed, we must admit that the serious and somewhat pompous frog laid himself out as an admirable foil. Innumerable crude and even childish devices were constructed for his annoyance, such as booby-traps, bogus letters, and tubs of water outside his door. It was of no use complaining to their majesties, who always derived a high pleasure from a joke at another’s expense, and roared with laughter at the expostulating tutor.
But the jester soon felt the natural consequence of his misdeeds: his victim waited for him in the palace courtyard and administered a sound and richly merited thrashing.
Such an event might well have taught Merry Ambrose a lesson, and a reconciliation have been effected: but his was not a nature well calculated to forgive what he considered to be an ill deserved insult. He continued his jests: but a new venom lay in them, for what had before been only cruel sport now became a systematic and prolonged act of vengeance. Nor did the wily knave scruple to dig up old stories of John’s debauched youth and spread them among the court.
The frog’s reputation fell lower and lower and his political opponents used many tales, some true and some utterly unfounded, as handles against their powerful foe. This state of things could not have continued for long, and the crisis came when Merry Ambrose confronted John before the whole court with one of the female associates of his former days.
The Kings, although sensible enough to attach no importance to these bygone follies, could not but see how dark a cloud of scandal was gathering round their sons’ pedagogue, [and] ordered the latter to take a lengthy holyday on the continent.
Saddened and disgusted by an event whose weight he undoubtedly overlighted, the unfortunate frog repaired to Tracity Islands, a group which, as everyone knows, are the central points of the great Chess Organisation. Here he remained for three years (1899–1901) and at the age of forty-five returned to Murry. But he had not been idle: on the contrary he had employed his time in writing his famous work “The Pa
rasistes”, a treatise which points out at great length the evils caused by the power of the Chess in Boxen and other countries.
On his return, he was pleased to find that two things had occurred: The dismissal of Merry Ambrose whose irrepressable spirits had become intolerable, and a determination on the part of the Kings to leave open the office of jester.
He was now confronted by another question of delicacy and moment. The two princes were now grown to the ages of 15 and 16 respectively, and their fathers summoned John to the presence to discuss the question of their going to a public-school. Their tutor strongly advised Danphabel, but in the end the Kings decided on the Royal Chessary, and tersely ordered the frog to “hold his tongue”, when, filled as he was with horror of all Chess institutions, he burst into violent expostulations.
Convinced that the royal will could not be changed, John set out to fetch the princes from the palace at Bum-Regis where they had been staying in his absence. Under his skilful but firm guidance, the wild children who in their early youth had been fond of throwing whitewash from the battlements of Riverside into the scrowded street, had become clever and active boys, who promised well for the difficult office they must someday discharge. Thus, the conscientious frog had every reason to be proud of the charges whom, not without misgivings, he handed over to the Frater Senior of the royal Chessary, Murry, at the begginning of the Easter Term 1902.
CHAPTER XI
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The Royal Chessary was an institution than the which none could have been more venerable or suited to the education of boys afterwards destined to wield the sceptre. Founded purely as a chessary by Flaxman in the time of the Republic, the educational part of it had been added some fifty years later as a school for Chess, although afterwards, as we have seen, thrown open to pupils of all nationalities. The school was divided into four Barns, or houses, known respectively as the Red, Black, White and Yellow Barns. It was to the first of these that the young princes, together with their old friend Chutney, who, as will be remembered, was also John’s ward, were sent.
Here, in spite of the previous care and sound elementry education of their good tutor, it must be admitted that none of the three distinguished himself in work, although both Chutney and Hawki represented their school on the cricket field, while Benjamin won honours as ‘stroke’ in his Barn boat.
As will be readily seen, the fact of their Highnesses’ being now at a public school, considerably lessened the duties of their tutor, who once more found time and activity for politics. No sooner had his charges been seen safely in the hands of their new masters, than the worthy frog retired to his family estate, whither he invited his old companions Quicksteppe and Hillory Smith-Gore.
The former, who had for some time enjoyed the dignity of General, was now working at the War-Office in the important and lucrative position of Victualler to the forces, while the dog, who, by his father’s death had become heir to a wide estate and a comfortable income, had retired as a Colonel, being now 50 years of age.
John passed several weeks in their society, and, as might have been expected, much of their time was passed in the discussion of politics. Frederic and Hillory were both strong Walterians: for, as we have seen above, the bulldog had vigorously opposed John in the Cat Question. We need, therefore, feel no surprise, that they returned to Murry, leaving a convert behind them at Bigham; John, whose upbringing and character led him to Walterianism, saw no reason to curb his inclinations for the sake of the cats, whose condition could not be bettered under the stubborn kings.
It seemed expediant to John that the world should learn of his movement as soon as possible, and he accordingly made a journey to Murry in the spring of 1903, being once more, at the age of forty seven, elected for the constituency of Bigham. Lord Herbert Vant had died in the previous year of heart disease, and the Little-Magisterial chair was now filled by Sir Hector Mouse, son of Sir Peter Mouse, who had headed the naval board against Pongee.
It was not to be expected that John could change his tactics so completely without incurring a certain amount of unpopularity, and D. street resounded with cries of ‘Turncoat!’, and ‘Traitor’ as he entered the house. The Diripians were now in power, and Sir Hector was a strong member of that party, who were engaged in supporting Grimalkan’s bill for war against the Prussians who were infringing on Boxonian territory in the island of Tararo. The Walterian bench was now headed by Quicksteppe, as Sir Charles Arabudda had died, and John found himself therefore one of the most important members of the House. A new Clique was formed, composed of: –
KINGS Benjamin & Hawki
LITTLE-MASTER Sir Hector Louse
WALTERIANS DIRIPIANS
General Quicksteppe Arabudda, Jnr.
Lord Big. Reginald Vant.
Col. Smith-Gore. Gen. Fortescue
With all these, save Reginald Vant and General Fortescue, we are already acquainted. Mr R. Vant was the younger son of Lord Herbert and was a prosperous shipowner, while Fortescue was a young and vigorous soldier who had risen from the rank of a subaltern by sheer diligence, and who was bent on reforming the army.
John, as might be expected, was much elated at becoming a member of the Clique, and this step engendered in him the desire of becoming Little-Master in future day[s] – an ambition which he had not hitherto entertained.
Not only the wish to stand by his friends, but also a true knowledge of the nature of war and a suspicion that Sir Hector was moved by personal pique against the Emperor Petrie of Prussia, with whom he had quarreled, led John to favour peace. During this session a young owl, a cadet of the House of Puddiphat, who had grown rich as a music-hall promoter, came to the front on the Walterian bench – causing no little sensation by introducing for the first [time] into Boxen, the casual type of oratory, which proved very effective.
While thus employed in Public Business, the indefatigable frog employed his spare moments in training his basso voice, which he did with such effect that during the autumn he appeared as ‘Volmer’ in an amateur performance of ‘Sangeletto’, which was held at the famous Amateur Theatre of Murry. The caste, which must have been truly remarkable, included also Oliver Vant (Reginald’s brother) in the title rôle, Lady Hector Mouse, Smith-Gore as the leader of the chorus, and the Countess of Peaktown.
The famous duette ‘The dawn is at hand’ between the latter and John was considered one of the musical events of the year, and the frog proceeded with the Countess to Riverside to recieve a handsome present from the Kings, who had slept very comfortably through the opera. Unfortunately for the good frog, his old enemy Twinklebury had come up to Murry where he used his talent for intrigue to such purpose that his victim, owing to a scandal circulated about him an the Countess, was obliged to retire for a time to Tip.
In the meantime the Princes were still at the Royal Chessary, where, in spite of the repeated exhortations of their tutor, they retained the rank of Pawns.
CHAPTER XII
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In 1904, John took his three charges for a holyday to Turkey, a country which he had not visited since his boyhood, and where he was much pleased by the unexpected standard of civilization which he encountred.
On his return he once more returned to the Parliament which was now sitting at Calcutta. Sir Hector & his friends were making a valiant stand for war, but the country was against it, and, at the close of the first week’s debate, the Diripian power had fallen. It was therefore expediant, according to custom, that a new Little-Master should be chosen from the victorious party, and, to the frog’s intense pleasure, his colleague, Frederic Quicksteppe ascended the chair.
This important and agreeable event was celebrated by a dinner at the General’s Calcutta flat, where, of course, both John and Colonel Smith-Gore repaired. Much anxiety was felt in the country as to how the new politician would wield the Little-Master’s power; as a good Walterian, he would, of course, uphold the traditions of his party, but his exact plans were known only to a few.
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br /> This seemed to John a favourable opportunity of bringing forward a scheme which had been in his mind for some considerable time, and which he felt sure that Frederic would favour & assist – namely, the expulsion of the Chess from the Parliament. The Chess, as everyone knows, are a homeless nation, whose hoards have settled on the shores of every civilized country, where they reside without paying taxes, lodged in their common homes or ‘Chessaries’. This body had been originally regarded as aliens by the Boxonians, and justly so, but in course of time they had grown to be a part of the comunity, till at length, in 1760, they had been granted entrance to the Double House by a Diripian government. To repeal this measure was one of the frog’s most treasured ambitions, and, having obtained a promise of help from the Little-Master, he retired to Bigham where he began elaborate preparations for the introduction of his Exlusion Act.
In the early part of the year 1905 the House assembled at Bombay, and here the frog, now approaching his fiftieth birthday, brought forward his motion. From that day onward, the history of the bill is a series of disasters! To begin with, he had chosen an inauspicious moment to discuss a matter of such deep importance, for the public mind was then centred upon King Benjamin’s illness and on the great Boxonian Locomotive Race, then in progress at Delhi. To John’s indignation, Frederic, who had promised his aid, did not even appear in the chair on the day opening the debate, but absented himself, as did many other members, to watch the great sporting event. The wretched John was left to make his speech to the ushers and the sherriffs standing at the doors.
