by C. S. Lewis
Such was his chagrin at this ill treatment that he retired to Piscia, and refused to stand for election in the following year, 1906, when his three charges left their school, – the princes as Castles and Chutney as a Knight. For the next few months he employed himself busily in training all three for Eglington University, wither they were going in the following year, but with little success. Although they undergraduated, Chutney, & Chutney alone, became an M.A.
In 1908, an event occured which lifted the frog’s mind entirely from minor events. King Benjamin breathed his last of apoplexy, and was followed a month later by his fellow-king.
It may not be said, it is true, that either of these monarchs had been famed for strategy, eloquence or diplomacy: but perhaps in an age of sinecures, none of these three are requisite for the kingly office. That the King should be a courtly gentleman who is never guilty of an outrage on good taste, is what we wish for to day. Yet this we cannot apply to these two kings; their methods were unconventional, their manners coarse and unpolished. Nevertheless, be the explanation what it may, they were widely and sincerely regreted by their subjects, and it was with a heart full of sorrow and sad memories, that our hero repaired to Eglington to comunicate to his erstwhile charges the fact that they were now his sovereigns.
In the new Hawki and the new Benjamin, the country could not look forward to strong or original government: but they could hope for a suaveness and delicacy that their fathers had not shown. Thus, it was with genuine rejoicing that the coronation ceremony was acclaimed by the crowded streets of Murry, when in the fifty second year of his age, John saw his pupils ascend the throne.
END OF VOLUME THE SECOND
Table of Dates in Volume Two
1893 Sets out for 2nd time to Pongee
1896 Twinklebury leaves Murry.
1897 Big reëlected for Parliament.
1898 Again sits in Parliament
1899 Goes to the Tracity Islands
1901 Publishes ‘The Parasites’
1903 Becomes a Walterian
1904 Takes his charges to Turkey.
1908 The Death of the Kings.
VOLUME THREE
CHAPTER XIII
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Early in the Spring of 1909, Lord John accompanied his two charges to Calcutta for the ceremony of their coronation. There have been few events in recent history which have brought together in so majestic a spectacle the arts, the industries and the pomp of so many civilized nations. The continent had almost recovered from the influence of the Pongeein war, and a newly formed treaty between Prussia and Turkey had cemented those countries into a friendship which could not be otherwise than beneficial. Under such circumstances it was to be expected that a gathering both brilliant and representitive would assemble to be the spectators of a rite so dignified and of such international consequence.
To the ancient capital of India repaired the Emperor Hans of Prussia, a man justly famed for his strength of character and strategic ingenuity, and universally respected for the resourses at his command, together with Sultan Ahmed, a Turk of vigorous parts. Hither also came a vast and glorious train of ambassadors from Devonish, followed by an embassy from the Clarendonian republic.
Amid such a noble company, however, as Lord John observed with apprehension, no Chessman appeared. That nation, enraged by the frog’s attempt to eject them from the Double House, remained sullenly aloof. This affair, impudent and depressing as it was in itself would not have caused Lord John any great uneasiness had it not betokened the attitude which that power was going to adopt. But it soon became apparent that a war was imminent against the Chess.
After the ceremony had been completed with all the splendour and lavish outlay of capital which had marked its beginning, Lord John and his two sovereigns returned to Murry, where Parliament was shortly afterwards opened.
Sir Hector Mouse had been shot by a burglar at Pip Castle, and, deprived of the support of their Little Master, the old Clique wavered and finally fell before the inrush of several new politicians.
When the new cabinet was elected, the good frog observed with mingled sensations of pleasure and chagrin that his friend Quicksteppe sat in the Little Magisterial chair. John would have been hardly human if he had not hoped to occupy this position himself, but, concealing his feelings of disappointment, he was the first to congratulate the General, and persuaded the Kings to greet their new adviser with warmth and deference.
The frog found himself at the head of the Walterian bench, supported by Colonel Smith-Gore and Viscount Puddiphat, an owl of breeding and education who had repaired the fortunes of his family by promoting music-halls. Arabudda remained as the Diripian leader, but Fortescue had been persuaded by General Quicksteppe to change sides and resign his seat in the Clique. Reginald Vant retained his seat, and the rear guard of his bench was brought up by Polonius Green.
The latter was a parrot of no social standing, but of strong and unscrupulous parts, who had begun life as a stok-[er] on one of the pig’s colliers, but, by industry and impertinence, had raised himself to be the owner of a small steam-ship company. Of this bird John held a very poor opinion, and their plans and ideals were not long in coming in colision.
As if to thoroughly squash the remains of Lord Big’s attempted measure against the Chess, the parrot actually took the offensive and brought forward a proposal that the latter should be allowed to sit in the Clique. John denounced his opponent with a fury that had never been seen in him since his first speech, and was well supported by his own bench. Quicksteppe, on the contrary, said in the presence of the Double House that he thought such a measure would be highly beneficial, as it would aid in soothing the strained relations then existing with the Chess. So violently did the two politicians argue the point in private that a duel between them was averted only by the influence of the crown. The bill was voted upon, and failed.
It might have been expected that here the Chess problem would end, but Mr Green’s proposal was to have a sequal of even greater moment. A fortnight after the bill had been voted upon, Mr Reginald Vant, who had derived a large portion of his income from the trade carried on by his vessels between Murry and the Tracity Isles (which are the Chess centre) recieved a leter from the Frater-Senior. This missive stated that his vessels would no longer be required for that trade as the monopoly of Chess traffic had been bestowed upon Mr Green.
The outraged pig showed his document to the Clique and created a vast sensation. In the eyes of John, Puddiphat and the Little-Master, it was a clear case of bribery, nor did the populace hesitate to hurl their accusations against the suspected parrot. But although it was probable that Green had recieved this privilege as a payment for his labours on behalf of the Chess, no clear proof was forthcoming. An inquiry, held before the council of Birdland acquited the parrot, and the Board of Trade refused to convict him.
Defeated in these directions, John & his party took up another line of action and denied the right of the Frater Senior to impose such terms. In a fine oration of the casual type, Puddiphat convinced the public that Boxen had been insulted, while Smith-Gore fanned the popular indignation by his fierce speeches. Luring that Autumn it was unanimously decided to send an embassy to the Tracities, insisting on the withdrawal of the conditions. This was refused. John and his friends, in the anger of the country which followed, carried all before them and war was declared.
CHAPTER XIV
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It would be far outside the purpose of this work to atempt a detailed account of the expedition to the Tracity Islands which was the result of John’s exertions: nor does this struggle, which has been dealt with in another work, merit in its own interest more than a cursory survey.
As Frederic Quicksteppe was now Little-Master, he had been compelled to resign his position as head of the war office, and the vacancy thus formed was filled by Chutney, who had attained to the rank of general. The latter, as we must here confess, although a gentleman of breeding and of highly cultu
red parts, had no great ability, and lacked that energy and foresight which would have secured his success as a soldier.
It thus came about that most of the work in connection with the war, devolved upon Lord John’s august shoulders. Happily there was no lack of support from the country, and in a month’s time John had fitted out a small expedition, including detachments of the Mouselands and Chutnies together with a levy of Volunteers. The staff of this organization consisted of John, Quicksteppe, Chutney and Fortescue, while the newly crowned kings accompanied it in person.
Those who wish to learn the details of the contest must be refered to the compilation bearing the name of the ‘Locked Door’, in which the subject is treated with tolerable amplitude. Let it here suffice to know that the vessels arrived safely at their destination and, after a meeting with Von Quinklë, the Senior Frater, proceeded to a war in which they were eminently successful.
But the vexed question was not yet destined to find a settlement. No sooner had the Chess been compelled to sue for peace, than a document addressed to the Frater Senior arrived stating that Mr Green had refused to accept his offer. With the hottest shame and indignation did the good frog and his allies learn that the whole war had been a farce, conducted over an insult that had been long since effaced.
A rumour was started that this letter, which was dated a month back, had been maliciously detained by the government of Dolfinn, through which country it had been sent. On his return to Murry, therefore, in the autumn of 1912, and at the age of fifty six, Lord John attempted to incite the country to a fresh war against the offending power. The measure however was distasteful to Walterians & Diripians alike, and had to be abandoned.
When the Double House once more assemblied in the New Year, an event of joyous significance took place which raised the frogs somewhat despondant spirits. In the New Clique, from which Mr Green had been ejected, and which had been enriched by the presence of Major Fortescue (Now as Head of the war office), John found himself in that position which he had been striving to attain for many years, with an energy both praiseworthy and indefatigable.
Although thus triumphantly placed in the highest position to which a Boxonian statesmant could aspire, it was not to be expected from gentlemen of Big’s temperament, that he should retain his post in indolence. No sooner had he been comfortably ensconced in the palace where he was now to reside with his old pupils [One leaf of the manuscript – two pages – is missing. Approximately 200 words have been lost – Ed.]
–es votaries of the amusement.
Only one gentleman of the House – a certain Mr Bar – offered any determined resistance. This latter was a small bear, the cadet of noble house, who, possessing neither parts nor wealth was occupied as a second lieutenant in the navy. But although the young sailor lacked these two valuable assets, he was the possessor of another and more precious attribute – an unique an inexhaustible fund of impudence.
Supported by this, and by the name of Bar, he had won for himself a place in a Murry society and a seat in the Double House, where, as we have seen, he devoted himself to fighting against a measure alike offensive to his feelings & forbidding to his private amusements. His resistance was, as may readily be imagined, quite useless, and, in the midsummer of that year, John saw with delight his bill made law. There remained however a bitter enmity between him and James Bar, whom he was soon to know as the recognised successor of Twinklebury and Merry Ambrose.
CHAPTER XV
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Lord John had now reached a stage in his career when the offices of the state left open no higher post for which ambition might crave, and, as was natural, his powerful intellect, incapable as it was of inaction, turned its energy towards private matters. Nor was the good frog here destined to be without trouble, for his old friend, Frederic, who had taken up his abode in the palace ever since his tenure of the Little M[agisterial] office, was behaving in an offensive manner. Uninvited guest as he was, he refused to leave Riverside, while the profligate habits of an old man to whom age had not brought prudence were a source of worry and annoyance.
But this would not have been very serious, if it had been his only misfortune, for his quarrels with the general, though frequent, were never serious. There was, however, as we have before hinted, one character in Murry who was never tired of devising pranks to try the patience of his Little Master. This humourist, was Lieutenant Bar, who, ever since his friction with John over the Exclusion bill, had conceived a violent dislike for the latter, which he was not slow to vent.
Many a time was the frog’s wardrobe rifled, his reputation scandalised, his person assaulted, his appearance and habits ridiculed, and his room at the palace wrecked. On one occasion his mattress was stuffed with golf-balls, and once the Little-Master paraded D. Street with a placard on his back, bearing the inscription, “John Big, the famous performing frog, and sly old dog from the guards”.
It must not be imagined that the astute bear always performed these exploits with impunity: on the contrary he was often captured and thrashed by the outraged politician, only to escape and return to the contest with more vigour.
This state of things might have continued until the moment of writing, but for a series of events which we must now relate. Bar, as John was informed by the General, who had become very intimate with the young sailor, had for some time been living with a noted Murry demimondaine named Miss Green, whose mother had been one of John’s early flames, dating from the period of his life spent at the bar. It was rumoured in Murry, whether truly or untruly we are not prepared to say, that John was the father of this girl. However that may have been, she possessed several proofs of the frog’s early connection with her parent, – a fact not a little displeasing to the latter.
One night when the general had been invited to supper with James Bar, John was surprised to find that his own presence was also desired. Although he new perfectly well that such a demand was ironical, he could not refrain from accompanying his companion, whose actions in such society he feared.
On his arrival he was astonished to find that the entertainment was perfectly quiet, and conducted with taste and discretion. On the following morning he recieved a visit from Miss Green, who mentioned that ‘The Lounger’, a popular Murry newspaper, had offered her £5000 for the proofs of John’s early character.
But the frog had no intention of being thus blackmailed: instead, he offered James Bar £200 a year for life on the condition of his marrying the young woman. The proposal was accepted, and Lord Big soon found that his young protegè was quite an agreeable bear, with whom he could associate without the loss of temper or dignity. The arrangement, we are told, is still working admirably.
Thus, reconciled to his last enemy, in the year 1913, and at the age of fifty-seven, we must leave Lord John Big. He still may be seen smoking a cigar in D Street or driving to the opera, while those who wish, may get an autograph from him, if he be in a good temper. He enjoys excellent health, and continues to take that keen interest in politics, which marked his early career; remaining what he has always been, in spite of his faults, – a brave, a generous, and an educated gentleman.
INTRODUCTION
I The Plan of the Encyclopedia
The writer of a complete Boxonology – a work which is still to be attempted – would have two sources of almost equal value on which to base his researches; on the one hand, the surviving documents, and on the other, the oral tradition. The aim of this encyclopedia is to reduce to a serviceable form the first of these two sources, by tabulating all that can be known of Boxen and the Boxonian world from the documentary sources alone; the documents including, besides Texts proper, the various Maps, Plans, and Pictures. With this end in view, it clearly became my duty to exclude everything that rests upon tradition: not because I regarded the tradition as invariably less reliable than the documents, but because a digest of tradition is obviously work that could not be undertaken single-handed, and, if undertaken, could have no undisputed aut
hority. For similar reasons I have been sparing of conjecture and inference. To draw out all that can be deduced from the texts, to attempt the solution of all problems and the removal of all contradictions in the light of general probability and skilful hypothesis, would have been to anticipate the future Boxonologist rather than to provide him with his tools.
A further limitation has still to be noticed, and it is one that turns upon the peculiar nature of the subject matter. When we approach the history and structure of the terrestrial world, we have no difficulty in distinguishing between its outward or phenomenal character – its events and natural conditions, which we hand over to the scientist – and its ultimate source and meaning, which we assign to the theologian and the philosopher. The one is matter of knowledge, the other of faith or speculation. In the Boxonian world, on the contrary, both are alike, for us, matters of knowledge. Those facts outside the world that appeared to the Boxonians, on which, nevertheless, that world depended; its origins and destiny, and the process whereby its characters or ‘souls’ came into being: everything, in short, which to the Boxonians themselves (had they known it) would have constituted their religion or their metaphysic, will be mere matter of memory to the readers of this encyclopedia. And this matter is of absorbing interest; to trace the process by which an attic full of commonplace childrens’ toys became a world as consistent and self-sufficient as that of the Iliad or the Barsetshire novels, would be no small contribution to general psychology. But such a work, again, demands collaboration. The solitary memory is defective: and even where it seems to remember, it cannot claim authority. I have therefore confined myself to such an account of Boxen as a well informed Boxonian himself could have given.
