Ukulele Deadly

by Leslie Langtry

  I smile and put an arm around him. "It's okay. It's actually great to see you. And thank you for staying at the resort. Mom's kind of…you know…she never took Dad's death very well."

  Andy nods. "Grandma was like this after Grandpa died, remember?"

  I shake my head. "Grandma did much better than Mom's doing. You saw the heads in the hall."

  Andy laughs. "A little madness runs in the family. Great-Aunt Laura ran off and joined the circus to attempt to become a trapeze artist when she was eighty, and Uncle Duke tried to marry his tractor. You can't embarrass me any."

  "The circus? Really?" I hadn't heard about Great-Aunt Laura. "And you say she was on the trapeze?"

  "No. She was afraid of heights, so they gave her another job she was more suited for."

  "What was that?" I'm now grateful that there aren't any circuses on Kauai. If Mom thought that was an option…

  "Strong Woman. I guess she could toss bales of hay around like balloons," Andy says with a huge grin. "I never met her, but I'd heard stories."

  We both laugh, and I feel a little better. Ed seems pretty intense…quiet. But what do I know? Maybe this is normal? My only experience had been with Detective Ray, and he's decidedly slower. In almost every way.

  "Nani!" A voice comes through the house, and I recognize it right away.

  "Out here, Binny!" I call to my best friend.

  Binny appears on the lanai and waves. She pours herself an iced tea into a glass she must have picked up from the kitchen. Binny has her own key just in case I'm away and Mom needs her. She's practically family.

  Ed and Andy gape openly at the woman as she crosses the lawn. Binny Finau is an exotic beauty. Half-Hawaiian, half-Alaskan, she favors her Polynesian ancestors. She straightens her black hair into a silky bob and has bronze skin and a smile that could stop traffic.

  "Hi!" She stops in front of Andy and holds out her hand. "I'm Binny."

  Andy's cheeks burn bright red—which is kind of adorable. I make introductions all around. Ed is even taken with her. It's no surprise to me. Binny has that effect on most men.

  I herd everyone back to the lanai, and we all sit down. The men are still gawking at my friend. It's a little embarrassing, but Binny takes it all in stride. Nothing freaks her out—she's a kindergarten teacher.

  "I heard about the body this morning. I'd have stopped by earlier, but I was taking Mom to get her hair done." Binny smiles warmly.

  "News travels fast here," I explain to Andy and Ed.

  Andy blushes again. "I understand that. Folks back home follow the fire trucks when they go out on a call."

  That is actually true. It's usually old people who spend their days waiting for something to happen. I've seen it many times. The firefighters, police, and EMTs just ignore it. By the time they get back to the station, everyone already knows whose barn went up or who had a heart attack. It's old news by then.

  Aloha Lagoon is similar—except for the ambulance chasing. The snoops have police scanners here.

  I explain what happened, all the way up to my terrible interview with the detective. Binny laughs hysterically when she hears that Mom said I'd drugged her. Andy smiles, but Ed looks uncomfortable.

  "We don't usually discuss cases back home," he says.

  Andy slaps him hard on the back. "That's because either Martha Goodacre or Red Nixon has already told everyone everything five minutes after it happens."

  He's not kidding. Martha works at the police station and starts working the gossip network the minute the cruisers head out. Red's son is the fire marshal, and his daughter is an EMT. You can always be sure you have the facts straight from the authorities, without all the hassle of waiting for Saturday when the paper comes out.

  Hopper relaxes a little at this, and I size him up. He does resemble the man who died in the resort parking lot. The dark hair and blue eyes are the same. I assume it's the same with his height and weight. And I can't remember his facial features, but it's easy to see how the victim could get by with using Ed's ID.

  "Who's in charge of the case?" Ed asks. "This detective you mentioned?"

  I nod. "Ray Kahoalani. But he prefers being called Detective Ray."

  "I can understand why." Ed whistles. "That last name is a mouthful."

  "Give me your cell," I say as I pull mine out.

  Hopper hands it over, and I plug Ray's number into it. "I figure you're going to want to talk to him."

  He takes the phone back and nods his thanks. Midwesterners aren't known for being chatty. A nod can mean many things. But then, people here aren't overly talkative either. Hopper and Kahoalani should get along just fine.

  "When are you going to check in with him?" Andy asks. "I was hoping to do a little shopping." He looks down at his jeans and polo shirt. My cousin definitely stands out as a tourist in this getup.

  "I'll tell you what," I say as I pour him another glass of tea. "I have to go see Dr. Chang this afternoon. How about I whip up some sandwiches for lunch, and then you can follow me to town and do some shopping while Ed here visits Detective Ray?"

  When everyone agrees, Binny and I head into the kitchen to see what we can pull together, while Ed and Andy turn their attentions back to the yard.

  "I found bread!" Binny shouts, her head stuck in a cupboard.

  "I've got ham and cheese."

  Binny cuts up some mangos and bananas for a fruit salad as I make sandwiches and set them on a tray. I go back to the fridge to root around for mayo and mustard.

  "So," Binny says casually, "your cousin the postmaster—and his friend the police officer—just drop everything and come to Hawaii out of the blue?"

  I shrug. "I guess. This is the first and only time anyone from my family has come to visit. That's strange, isn't it? I mean, you'd think they'd have booked my couch the moment we moved here."

  It is surprising. When I was looking for a house, I tried to find a three bedroom so we'd have a guest room, but that was a frill we couldn't afford. No one has ever asked to visit in all the time we've lived here. Does Mom have more of a reputation in the family than I'm aware of?

  "How long are they staying?" Binny asks as she picks up the bowl of fruit salad.

  I throw some plates and forks on the tray. "I have no idea. A week maybe? Andy said they were on vacation."

  Binny looks toward the yard where the men are walking back to the porch. "I can't wait to hear what Ray says about Ed being here."

  "That should be interesting." I pick up the tray, and Binny follows me outside.

  "There are four different clothing stores on this street," I tell my cousin a few hours later. "They all carry the same stuff, so you shouldn't have any problems."

  We are standing on the main thoroughfare, across from the police station. Most shops are rather touristy, but some are old family businesses that have been around a while. Dr. Chang's office is one block down, so I wave the others off and start walking.

  "I'm going with you," Binny says as she catches up with me.

  "Are you sure?" I can't imagine that what he wants to tell me is good.

  Binny nods. "Your 'ohana is my 'ohana."

  'Ohana is Hawaiian for family, and I relax a little. It helps to have someone who understands my mother's idiosyncrasies. Both of us are carrying light cardigans that we put on as we walk. We stop in front of Dr. Chang's office, open the door, and are greeted with a blast of air conditioning that causes an eruption of goose bumps on our skin. Since the weather usually hovers around 80 degrees with breezes from the sea, a lot of folks don't use AC. Dr. Chang is the exception.

  "Hi, Nani. Hey, Binny," Gail, the receptionist, calls out. "You can go on back."

  Binny and I look at each other. The waiting room is empty. Are we the only ones here?

  We walk down the hall, passing two examination rooms, and knock on the doctor's door.

  "Come in!" Dr. Chang says.

  I take a deep breath and open the door. If he's surprised to see Binny, the doctor doesn't mention i
t. He motions for us to take a seat.

  I've always liked his office. Unlike Detective Ray's, there isn't a thing out of place. The furniture is soft and comforting, and the light creates a relaxing ambiance. The main difference is that we just might be freezing to death. At least if we do, there's a doctor on hand.

  "Thank you for meeting with me." Dr. Chang smiles. He's an older gentleman with streaks of gray at his temples and a warm, inviting demeanor.

  "No problem," I say. "Is it about Mom's bloodwork?"

  He nods. "You were right. We found traces of Rohypnol in her system. But there was something else we didn't expect. Baclofen—a type of muscle relaxer. That would explain the bad taste in her mouth."

  I stare at the doctor. "She had Rohypnol in her drink? And they gave her a muscle relaxant chaser?"

  "It would seem so," Dr. Chang says. "You told me when you asked for the test that this was part of a police investigation?"

  I nod. "Yes. I think someone put it into her drink."

  Dr. Chang sighs and leans back in his chair. "I'll have to report this to the police."

  "I already told them," I add. What I don't say is that Mom has told Detective Ray that I was the one who roofied her.

  "There's something else," he adds. "Something that turned up in her bloodwork. I'd like to schedule some more tests."

  Binny and I look at each other. I didn't expect this.

  "What is it?" I'm starting to panic a little. "I have power of attorney for Mom. You can tell me."

  Dr. Change gives us a small smile. "It's a little early to tell. And it could be nothing. A mistake even. I'd just like to make sure before I tell you."

  "Um." I bite my lower lip. "Is it serious?"

  He shakes his head. "I don't know. I can tell you there were some anomalies in her white blood cell count. It could be nothing." His expression, just for a split second, says otherwise.

  "Cancer?" I gasp. My medical knowledge is rather limited, so of course I jump to the worst.

  "I don't think so." Dr. Chang leans forward. "I wanted to discuss it with you privately first. Most of the time when I write a prescription for bloodwork, it takes the patient weeks to go in. I wanted to meet with you personally to explain why I need this done right away."

  Binny speaks up. "Does she have to fast?"

  Dr. Chang nods. "Yes. So first thing tomorrow morning would be best. The lab opens at eight."

  "I have a luau at lunchtime, and I'm giving ukulele lessons at the resort before then." I think out loud as I sort through my schedule in my head.

  "I'll take her," Binny says as she pats my arm.

  "That would be great. Are you sure?" I ask.

  My friend nods, and I feel a little better.

  "Perfect," Dr. Chang says as he gets to his feet. "I'll let you know as soon as I can."

  As we walk back out onto the street, Binny puts her arm around me. "I'm sure everything is fine. Those tests are wrong sometimes."

  I nod weakly, but to be honest, the doctor has really taken the wind out of my sails. Not that there was much there with a murder and all. But still. This wasn't anything I'd expected.

  "Nani!" Andy waves at us from further down the block, and we head for him.

  "Do you like it?" He turns around as we join him.

  I laugh. "It's perfect! You almost look like a local!"

  Andy frowns as he looks down at his aloha shirt, khaki shorts, and sport sandals. "I thought I nailed it."

  I rub his head playfully. "You did. But you can't do anything about the red hair and freckles, Cuz."

  "Where's Ed?" Binny asks.

  Andy deflates just a little. I'm sure he's disappointed that Binny is showing an interest in Real Ed Hopper.

  "He bought five pair of the same shorts and five of the same shirt and took off to meet your detective."

  So they were at least planning to stay five days, eh?

  "Come on," I say as I pull him toward another store. "Let's finish shopping."

  We spend an hour or so picking out more clothes and buying some serious sunscreen for my cousin. Andy loves the attention from Binny. I can't help but notice all the sidelong looks he gives her. Poor guy. He's got it bad. Binny hasn't dated anyone in the time I've known her. I've never asked why. But I doubt Andy is her type.

  Eventually we run out of stores, and by that time, my stomach is rumbling. I suggest we have dinner at the Loco Moco—my favorite restaurant in Aloha Lagoon. The service and the prices are perfect, but the food is out of this world.

  Andy texts Ed to meet us there as I text Nick. We might as well all get together. And I'm a little eager for Nick to meet someone from my family who isn't Mom. By the time we score a table for five, Nick and Ed have joined us.

  "Wow!" Andy says as he opens the menu. "Look at all the seafood!"

  Ed squints at his. "What's ahi poke?"

  Nick fills them in on the native cuisine, but I'm far away in my head. I'm torn between wanting to know what's wrong with Mom and doing nothing in an attempt to pretend whatever's wrong with her doesn't really exist. Also, I wish Dead Ed Hopper didn't exist. That would be nice. Maybe even better.

  Binny pats my back. "It'll be okay. I'm sure of it."

  I look around. "Maybe I should've invited Mom. She doesn't even know Andy is here."

  Nick overhears. "She's going to Lihue with my mom for dinner. They won't be back until late."

  "Oh good. I'm glad she's with Vera." I relax a little.

  And I was, really. Perseverance Woodfield, Nick's mom, was wonderful. And she loved my mother. And she wasn't crazy. Well, maybe a bit. But not at Mom's level of crazy.

  "What's wrong?" Nick asks quietly.

  Binny is busy giving Andy and Ed some history of the area and info on the resort. They aren't paying attention to us. Which is good. I'm not ready to tell Andy about Mom. Sure, he's family and all that. But he's on vacation, and if this is the only time he ends up in Hawaii, I don't want this hanging over his head.

  "Dr. Chang is ordering some more tests for Mom. There might be something wrong."

  Nick takes my hand in his and looks into my eyes. Those dark brown beauties have a way of making me feel better, no matter what.

  "There's nothing you can do about it now. Just try to enjoy dinner." He punctuates his statement with a quick kiss, and I realize he's right.

  The waitress takes our order. To my surprise and delight, Ed and Andy have ordered mahi and ahi poke. This is big. In Kansas we're pretty much landlocked. And it's a meat-and-potatoes culture. In fact, I'm still a meat junkie, so I'm having the laulau pork. You can take the girl out of Kansas, but you can't take the Kansas out of the girl.

  "So, Ed," Andy says as the waitress sets a pitcher of mai tais on the table. "Tell us how it went with the local police."

  I'm glad he said something. I'm not comfortable asking yet, and Ed Hopper seems to be a bit by the book on these things. He's very quiet—probably sizing us all up as possible suspects. That would make him a better cop than Detective Ray, who only seems to see one…me.

  Ed places his napkin on his lap as Binny pours him a mai tai. He takes a drink as we wait.

  "I told Detective Ray…does he really prefer that? It's a bit unconventional."

  We all nod. I just assume the detective wants to avoid anyone mangling his name. I could be wrong. It's best not to second-guess a man who believes I'm killing people right and left.

  Ed sits back with a sigh. "Oh good. I can't seem to remember his name." He shoots a blushing look at Binny. "Sorry."

  Binny laughs. "I completely understand. My name's Finau, which is pretty easy. But there are some surnames here that are ten syllables long."

  Ed looks relieved that he didn't insult her. "Anyway, I explained who I am and why I'm here. He gave me my license back."

  "How did you fly here without it?" Nick asks.

  "I used my passport." Ed shrugs. "Having a badge didn't hurt."

  "Do they have any idea who the dead man is?" I ask.
r />   Ed shakes his head. "Not yet. I'm sure they'll run his prints through the system. The coroner isn't done with her examination. Things move pretty slowly here, don't they?"

  "Yes. Detective Ray is like a sloth who's been cryogenically frozen, in a uniform," I mumble.

  Ed starts to blush as he looks at Binny. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. What I meant was…"

  Binny waves him off. "It's okay. Life is much slower here in the islands. We like it that way, but it can make things difficult."

  "Nick is from here," I blurt out in an attempt to change the direction of the conversation.

  Andy says, "Sorry, man. We just assumed you were like Nani here. Moved here or something."

  Nick smiles reassuringly. "It's no problem. My ancestors are one of the first missionaries here from the mainland and a Hawaiian princess, but I don't look like a native. It's easy to make that mistake."

  Nick launches into a bit of his family history, and I'm thrilled to see Ed and Andy hanging on every word. My mind starts to wander. I wonder what the detective thought when Ed Hopper appeared in person in his office. Would his presence take some of the heat off of me and Mom? That would be nice.

  Maybe having Hopper here is even more of a blessing. Maybe he can help with the case and I can go back to my usual life. A life that doesn't include dead bodies. Besides, I have the lessons at the resort and the luau tomorrow. And I need to swing by the Blue Hawaii Wedding Chapel to talk to Pastor Dan about a wedding coming up in a few days.

  My schedule will keep me busy—which is good. Ed and Ray can handle a little interstate investigation, and Andy might be able to help with Mom. It's kind of nice having these people around. My only concern is that Andy seems to be completely smitten with Binny. How can I tell him that she's not really interested in a relationship? Which is too bad because she's a catch. Either she's blowing men off, or she's so gorgeous that guys don't even approach her. Whatever the reason, I don't want Andy to read too much into her attentions. There's no room in this chaos to nurse my cousin's broken heart.

  Dinner is served, and everyone digs in. Andy and Ed swear that this is the best seafood they've ever had—which is easy given all we tend to get is catfish back home. Binny and Nick have stepped up to play host, which is a relief, because I'm exhausted.