Ukulele Deadly

by Leslie Langtry

  "I don't know," I begin. "They all died in different places." I decide not to mention what Nick learned—that Allison and Ed might've known each other.

  "They all died within proximity of you." Detective Ray sits back and folds his arms over his chest as if he's Hercule Poirot catching the murderer in a lie.

  "That's true," Nick says. There's a slight edge to his voice. "But it's no secret, is it? Everyone knows that. And that's how Nani is being set up to take the fall for all three murders."

  I love him. I really do love him.

  "You brought us here to tell us something that everyone who gets the local newspaper already knows?" Nick sounds a little angry. My hero.

  I squeeze his leg under the table. My boyfriend is right, but we don't need to make the detective angry.

  Ray doesn't look angry, but then, I'm not sure what he'd look like angry. He's always worn the exact same expression around me.

  "That's not the only thing these three crimes have in common." He leans forward. "Dr. Yoshida is back from her vacation. She's been able to perform autopsies on the bodies and…"

  I cut him off. "They didn't die in the way it looks! Let me guess—they all died the same way!"

  Nick gives me the strangest look for a second, before his expression clears. I'm guessing he now remembers what I'd said about the blowfish poison needing time to act.

  "The murderer would know that." Ray narrows his eyes. "The murderer and me." He looks off to the left for a moment. "And Dr. Yoshida, of course. Quite possibly her assistant…"

  I try not to panic. "Let me explain. I looked up blowfish poison. It takes a while to work. There's no way Allison dropped dead so fast from that toxin. That's all. I did a little research. I didn't kill them."

  The detective steeples his fingers. "So how do you think it was done?"

  I deflate a little. "I don't know. I'm not a medical examiner. But it does look like the killer wanted us to think these people died one way and not how it really happened."

  Nick frowns. "Why? Whoever it is had to know the coroner would figure it out immediately."

  "Is it possible that the killer knew Dr. Yoshida was going out of town for a convention?"

  Ray's eyes open wide, which is disturbing, and for a moment I think maybe I should get him some water. He slaps the table, the only way we can tell he's not happy.

  "How did they really die?" Nick asks.

  It's a long shot that the detective would tell us. I prepare myself for disappointment. There's no reason for him to provide valuable intel to the suspect…me.

  "Hydrogen cyanide," he says, "delivered in aerosol form."

  "Cyanide?" Nick asks. "The bodies should emit an odor if it's cyanide poisoning. And don't their fingernails turn blue or something?" He sees me staring at him. "What? I've been reading up."

  "Dr. Yoshida says it's cyanide, and that's what it is," the detective says. "She says she knew right away, so you might be right."

  "We believe her," I say quickly. "You'll get no argument from us."

  "But I read that…" Nick starts.

  I cut him off. "No argument."

  "I'll have to check that out," Nick mumbles sourly.

  I feel a little bad for Nick. He wanted to show off his smarts. I'll have to tell him later that I appreciate it, and I give his leg another squeeze under the table.

  "So far, you know that the victims all died from the same thing." I try to nudge Ray back on track.

  We look at Ray. It's his turn. He says nothing.

  "That's something, right?" I ask.

  He points a stubby finger at me. "You are still the main connection. All three died in front of you."

  The detective is right.

  I throw my hands up in the air. "Why would I kill each victim in places that it's known I would be? I don't have a death wish, and I don't think I'm smarter than the police." I check to make sure he understands that is a compliment. "But I'm not that stupid either."

  That's my whole defense. All of it. I'm going to need more than that. My thoughts turn to the epinephrine injector in my purse. Should I give it to the police? My fingerprints are on it. I can't wipe them off though, because I might wipe off the prints of the murderer. So what good is it?

  Besides, what do I really know about what happened last night? The creepy shadow man could've been someone from the resort out for a walk.

  "Did any of the victims know each other?" I use my innocent voice. It hasn't worked in years, but who knows? Maybe I'll get lucky.

  "I can't say," Ray says.

  "You can't say because you know and it's classified, or you can't say because you don't know?" Nick asks. And he didn't use his innocent voice. His was more the I'm implying your investigation is a sham voice.

  Why would Nick ask that? Does he really think the detective is going to admit he doesn't know?

  "I don't know." Ray clears his throat. He doesn't seem embarrassed at all. "Until we find out the identity of the Ed Hopper who impersonated Police Officer Ed Hopper, we don't know."

  Okay. Between Nick getting angry and Ray being clueless, I have to jump in.

  "Have you talked to Juls Kekoa at the resort?" I say gently. "I'll bet she has a résumé or something on Allison. She has folders on all the employees."

  Detective Ray nods. "She's on my list. I just haven't gotten to it yet."

  This time I crush Nick's leg under the table.

  "Can we help out in any way?" I ask. "I mean, Nick and I both work at the resort, and we both know Juls well."

  That's a bit of a fib, because even though I think she's amazing, I don't really know her all that well. Maybe Nick does.

  "Don't interfere in the investigation." Ray looks at us levelly. "You can go now. Stay on the island, and keep your phones handy."

  I jump up from the table because I didn't think the interview was going this way. We have an opportunity to escape, so we are going to make the best of it.

  "Come on, Nick." I turn to the detective. "Thank you."

  We flee to the parking lot. Where we are greeted by about a dozen people, all wearing my shirt and holding out their cell phones.

  "I have to show you something." I drag my boyfriend across the lot and pull him by the arm into my car. We are immediately surrounded by people taking photos and shouting stuff at me. They appear to be happy, so I don't run them down as we exit the lot.

  "What was that?" Nick points over his shoulder at the cheering fans. At least, I think they are fans.

  "Call Binny, Ed, and Andy. Have them meet us at the Blue Hawaii Chapel. I need to check on something"

  This investigation is going way too slowly for me. And unless I want to forever be known as the Ukulele Undertaker, I'm going to have to take things into my own hands.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  "What I don't get," Nick says after I fill him in on my groupie situation, "is why the Undertaker title? I mean, the other ones are just as good. My personal favorite is Magical Murderess, although Violent Virtuoso is pretty good too."

  I glare at him. "Are you kidding me?"

  "You know what?" Nick backs off and pulls out his cell. "I think I'll have my attorney look into the T-shirt guy. We can definitely sue for the profits."

  "And defamation of character." I try hard not to hiss as I talk. "And what happened to my lawyer? I get that she has a family crisis, but shouldn't she call to let me know that?"

  He shrugs in mid dial. "Maybe she's been murdered too? She represents you, and you are the Magical Murderess."

  I ignore him for the rest of the drive. Andy, Ed, and Binny are outside waiting for us when we get to the chapel. I knock on the door while Nick tells the gang about my fans. No answer. I unlock the door.

  "I am so sorry, Nani," Binny says. "But before Nick's attorney takes the shirt guy down, do you think I can get one of those tees?"

  Andy raises his hand. "I want at least five dozen to take back with me. Maybe more for the Johnson Family Reunion next year."

  Ed
doesn't ask for a shirt, so I decide I like him best today.

  I tell them about the EpiPen and ask them to help me search the area around the front steps just in case there's something else there.

  "Let's see the injector," Andy says.

  I pull it out of my bag but keep it in the baggie. Nick picks it up and turns it over.

  "What are we looking for?" Binny asks.

  "Hope. Hope that there's something out there like a confession from the killer. Detective Ray is still convinced I'm a suspect. It's a long shot, but maybe we can find another clue. Terry was murdered here, so maybe the killer watched."

  We head outside, and Ed gives everyone a section of the parking lot to search. I get the steps since I found the EpiPen there. Ed takes the area where I saw the shadowy figure, and Nick, Binny, and Andy take everything in between.

  As I dig in the soil underneath the steps, I realize that the odds are slim. It's a desperate move. But I want all of this to be over. We haven't had any solid clues. I'm hoping Ed will find something over where whoever was watching me stood.

  Ed calls it off after twenty minutes when it's clear we haven't found anything. I lead the crew back inside the chapel, and we settle in the office.

  "I got the results back from the fingerprinting," Ed says. This gets our attention.

  "The first victim's real name is John Gilligan. He's got a string of priors you wouldn't believe. Burglary, kidnapping, and murder. The Feds have been looking for him in the Midwest. They had no idea he was even here."

  "Wow." I'm the first to speak. "He's Fake Dead Ed. Actually, he's John. Which will be a huge relief because even I was getting confused."

  There's a strange look on the policeman's face.

  "Oh, sorry! We've been calling him Fake Ed and you Real Ed just to tell you apart."

  Ed smiles a little. See? He's coming out of his shell. The man is warming up to us.

  "Nice work!" Andy slaps his friend on the back.

  Nick nods. "Thank you. Any connection to Allison Tarawa? Or Terry Flynn?"

  "Not yet. But if there is one, we'll find it." He looks relieved to have his sketchy participation in our amateur investigation over.

  Andy says, "Nick, you told us that Allison had a significant other back in Hilo and that he looked like our victim. It's possible that they are connected. Right?"

  My boyfriend shrugs. "My contact wasn't sure. It could be nothing."

  Ed's following the conversation quietly. I feel bad for asking him to run the prints. "I hope you won't get into any trouble, Ed."

  He smiles and waves me off. "No. My cousin won't tell. He wouldn't dare, or he'll be wearing the gravy at Thanksgiving."

  And he does have a sense of humor. We just needed to give the cop more time to get to know us, I guess.

  "So what do we do now?" I ask as my cell goes off. It's Dr. Chang. "Hold on, guys. I've got to take this."

  I step out into the chapel and answer. I'm not sure I'm ready for what he has to tell me.

  "Miss Johnson? Dr. Chang. I've received the preliminary results, but I'm waiting for a couple more. Could you come by day after tomorrow? Say two o'clock?"

  "Sure. You can't tell me anything now?"

  "No. But I'll have all the results in by then. See you in a couple of days."

  I hang up. We're a little closer on this mystery too. Since I won't know anything until then, I put it out of my head.

  Pastor Dan is in his office when I rejoin everyone. He seems okay with us being there, but asks for a "word."

  "I'm so sorry. I should've checked with you first, I know. It's just that I'm kind of at the end of my rope with all these murders and…" I stammer out an apology.

  Dan interrupts. "I don't care about that. You know I'm leaving this place to you when I die."

  It's an old joke between us. One that Mary Lou finds offensive. I'm sure Dan will retire someday and sell the place. I've even thought of buying it years from now to make it a small recital hall.

  "What is it?" I ask. "Is it the snakes? Are you in trouble because of that? Because I'll sick Nick's lawyer on them so fast…"

  "No, Nani. It's not that. They dropped all charges and let me off with a warning."

  I stare at him. "Then what is it?"

  He looks worried. "Did you speak to Mary Lou?"

  Oh right. I was supposed to get back to him with her insane list of demands.

  "Let's sit down," I say, leading him to one of the pews. "Yes. I saw her. Have you ever seen her house? If you haven't been there…well, don't go. I mean really. Never go there."

  "What does she want in order to come back?" he asks eagerly.

  For the first time since she left, I realize that he's not the same funny, confident man he was before. What has she done to him? Maybe she hypnotized or brainwashed him. More than likely she's blackmailing him. I'll bet that's it. And if it is, I'm going to kill her.

  "Well?" He wipes the sweat from his forehead, and it isn't even hot in here.

  "She made some obscene demands to come back. Can't you just hire someone else?" As long as it's not my mother, that is.

  "What are they?" He seems to be bracing himself for the worst. What does she have on him?

  I sigh and tell him. "She wants a two-carat diamond engagement ring and a honeymoon in Laos."

  We sit there with the elephant in the room. An evil elephant with a frizzy bouffant holding a tray of iced oatmeal cookies. I feel badly for the man. I'd always thought Mary Lou was a thorn in his side. I had no idea he was…well…lost without her.

  "Right." Dan puts his hands on his knees and stands. "Right. Thank you, Nani. I'm sure that wasn't easy."

  I watch as he walks out the door to the parking lot. Isn't it funny when you think something is one thing but turns out to be something completely different? Like Mom for instance. For two years she's been stark-raving mad. And then suddenly she does a complete 360, and I wonder if I even know who she is anymore.

  Sitting there in the pew, I realize that something is very wrong with her. Like last night when she insisted that she makes me popcorn and lemonade every night. She hasn't. My mother might have a brain tumor. Or dementia. Neither one is good.

  What would I do without her? I used to think my life was difficult with her annoying the neighbors and decorating the house like something out of a horror movie. But now thinking I might not have much time left, makes me want to pull her close to me even harder and never let go.

  "Nani?" Nick calls from the office.

  "Coming." I get up and join them. At least the murders will take my mind off of my other problems.

  "Sorry, guys. Dan just wanted to talk."

  Ed holds up the pen, still in the closed baggie. "I'm going to take this in for fingerprints. You're right. It might be nothing. But then again, it could lead to the killer."

  "I did touch it," I admit. "So my prints are probably on there too. Is there some way you can make that look like I'm not the killer?"

  Ed laughs. "Well, I've gone this far, so I suppose I can figure it out."

  "Thanks, Ed." Andy nods. "I hate to push, man, but can you let us know what you find out either way?"

  "Sure." Ed shoves it into his pocket. "I'll run by the station now."

  Binny speaks up quickly. "I'll take Andy back to the hotel."

  Andy doesn't blush this time. He just gives her a knowing smile. These two are definitely hitting it off.

  Nick grabs my hand, and we follow everyone out of the chapel into the warm night air. The others drive off as I lock up.

  "Have you talked to Titus yet?" I ask. "You were going to do that."

  "He called in sick today," Nick says. "I'll make sure to corner him first thing in the morning. There's something I want to show you," Nick adds. "I'll drive, if that's okay."

  I hand him the keys willingly. I'm so tense and stressed out I'm not sure I could drive safely anyway. My muscles are tight, and there are probably permanent frown lines etched in my forehead.

  Ni
ck drives us out of town to the main highway that circles the island. Where are we going? Do I really care? Rolling down the window, a warm breeze washes over me. Everything smells so green. It isn't called the Garden Island for nothing.

  He pulls off the highway, and the car bounces over the rough gravel road. It's so quiet here. It would be nice to pass out in the middle of nowhere. Without calls from the police or doctors. No murders and no one to pin them on me. Maui pops into my mind. I really need to look into that for Nick and me.

  "We're here." Nick parks the car, and I gasp.

  "It's beautiful!"

  We are on a sort of cliff high over Aloha Lagoon. A giant yellow moon takes up half the sky right in front of us as the few twinkling lights below dance on the green. I can't hear the ocean, but I swear I can smell it. We get out of the car and climb onto the hood, our backs against the windshield.

  "What is this place?" And how come I'm seeing it just now?

  "Lookout Point." Nick grins.

  He motions around us, and I see enough spots for four or five cars. We are alone. Which is nice.

  "Make Out Point, you mean?" I wiggle my eyebrows at him meaningfully.

  "Yup. The perfect place to bring my lady." Nick slides his arm around my shoulders, and I burrow against him.

  My boyfriend, besides being handsome, smart, and sweet, also smells nice. Probably from working with flowers and plants all day. He smells like fresh-cut grass and jasmine.

  "Are you smelling me?" His voice is amused.

  "Mmmmhmmm. You smell wonderful." The tension starts to fall away as I ease my body into a more comfortable position.

  "That's why I work outside. Just for you."

  I laugh. "Did you bring many girls here in high school?"

  I can picture him with the homecoming queen, the prom queen, or even a geeky little band kid like me. Nick gets along with anyone and could make friends anywhere. He could make a ditch digger feel like the king of England with his soft smile and easygoing nature.

  "No. Not really. I kind of stayed to myself in school. I did come up here to think though."

  "Must've been difficult with couples making out around you."

  He laughs, and it's the most wonderful sound. "I would've come here with you."