The Lady Sleuths MEGAPACK ™: 20 Modern and Classic Tales of Female Detectives

by Catherine Louisa Pirkis

  ‘Get up and ride, miss,’ he said in a persuasive voice.

  I did as I was bid. To my immense surprise, I ran up the steep hill as smoothly and easily as if it were a perfectly-laid level.

  ‘Goes nicely, doesn’t she?’ Mr. Hitchcock murmured, rubbing his hands.

  ‘Beautifully,’ I answered. ‘One could ride such a machine up Mont Blanc, I should fancy.’

  He stroked his chin with nervous fingers. ‘It ought to knock ’em,’ he said, in an eager voice. ‘It’s geared to run up most anything in creation.’

  ‘How steep?’

  ‘One foot in three.’

  ‘That’s good.’

  ‘Yes. It’ll climb Mount Washington.’

  ‘What do you call it?’ I asked.

  He looked me over with close scrutiny.

  ‘In Amurrica,’ he said, slowly, ‘we call it the Great Manitou, because it kin do pretty well what it chooses; but in Europe, I am thinking of calling it the Martin Conway or the Whymper, or something like that.’

  ‘Why so?’

  ‘Well, because it’s a famous mountain climber.’

  ‘I see,’ I said. ‘With such a machine you’ll put a notice on the Matterhorn, “This hill is dangerous to cyclists.”’

  He laughed low to himself, and rubbed his hands again. ‘You’ll do, miss,’ he said. ‘You’re the right sort, you are. The moment I seen you, I thought we two could do a trade together. Benefits me; benefits you. A mutual advantage. Reciprocity is the soul of business. You hev some go in you, you hev. There’s money in your feet. You’ll give these Meinherrs fits. You’ll take the clear-starch out of them.’

  ‘I fail to catch on,’ I answered, speaking his own dialect to humour him.

  ‘Oh, you’ll get there all the same,’ he replied, stroking his machine meanwhile. ‘It was a squirrel, it was!’ (He pronounced it squirl.) ‘It ‘ud run up a tree ef it wanted, wouldn’t it?’ He was talking to it now as if it were a dog or a baby. ‘There, there, it mustn’t kick; it was a frisky little thing! Jest you step up on it, miss, and have a go at that there mountain.’

  I stepped up and had a ‘go.’ The machine bounded forward like an agile greyhound. You had but to touch it, and it ran of itself. Never had I ridden so vivacious, so animated a cycle. I returned to him, sailing, with the gradient reversed. The Manitou glided smoothly, as on a gentle slope, without the need for back-pedalling.

  ‘It soars!’ he remarked with enthusiasm.

  ‘Balloons are at discount beside it,’ I answered.

  ‘Now you want to know about this business, I guess,’ he went on. ‘You want to know jest where the reciprocity comes in, anyhow?’

  ‘I am ready to hear you expound,’ I admitted, smiling.

  ‘Oh, it ain’t all on one side,’ he continued, eyeing his machine at an angle with parental affection. ‘I’m a-going to make your fortune right here. You shall ride her for me on the last day; and ef you pull this thing off, don’t you be scared that I won’t treat you handsome.’

  ‘If you were a little more succinct,’ I said, gravely, ‘we should get forrader faster.’

  ‘Perhaps you wonder,’ he put in, ‘that with money on it like this, I should intrust the job into the hands of a female.’ I winced, but was silent. ‘Well, it’s like this, don’t you see; ef a female wins, it makes success all the more striking and con-spicuous. The world to-day is ruled by advertizement.’

  I could stand it no longer. ‘Mr. Hitchcock,’ I said, with dignity, ‘I haven’t the remotest idea what on earth you are talking about.’

  He gazed at me with surprise. ‘What?’ he exclaimed, at last. ‘And you kin cycle like that! Not know what all the cycling world is mad about! Why, you don’t mean to tell me you’re not a pro-fessional?’

  I enlightened him at once as to my position in society, which was respectable, if not lucrative. His face fell somewhat. ‘High-toned, eh? Still, you’d run all the same, wouldn’t you?’ he inquired.

  ‘Run for what?’ I asked, innocently. ‘Parliament? The Presidency? The Frankfort Town Council?’

  He had difficulty in fathoming the depths of my ignorance. But by degrees I understood him. It seemed that the German Imperial and Prussian Royal Governments had offered a Kaiserly and Kingly prize for the best military bicycle; the course to be run over the Taunus, from Frankfort to Limburg; the winning machine to get the equivalent of a thousand pounds; each firm to supply its own make and rider. The ‘last day’ was Saturday next; and the Great Manitou was the dark horse of the contest.

  Then all was clear as day to me. Mr. Cyrus W. Hitchcock was keeping his machine a profound secret; he wanted a woman to ride it, so that his triumph might be the more complete; and the moment he saw me pedal up the hill, in trying to avoid him, he recognised at once that I was that woman.

  I recognised it too. ‘Twas a pre-ordained harmony. After two or three trials I felt that the Manitou was built for me, and I was built for the Manitou. We ran together like parts of one mechanism. I was always famed for my circular ankle-action; and in this new machine, ankle-action was everything. Strength of limb counted for naught; what told was the power of ‘clawing up again’ promptly. I possess that power: I have prehistoric feet: my remote progenitors must certainly have been tree-haunting monkeys.

  We arranged terms then and there.

  ‘You accept?’

  ‘Implicitly.’

  If I pulled off the race, I was to have fifty pounds. If I didn’t, I was to have five. ‘It ain’t only your skill, you see,’ Mr. Hitchcock said, with frank commercialism. ‘It’s your personal attractiveness as well that I go upon. That’s an element to consider in business relations.’

  ‘My face is my fortune,’ I answered, gravely. He nodded acquiescence.

  Till Saturday, then, I was free. Meanwhile, I trained, and practised quietly with the Manitou, in sequestered parts of the hills. I also took spells, turn about, at the Städel Institute. I like to intersperse culture and athletics. I know something about athletics, and hope in time to acquire a taste for culture. ‘Tis expected of a Girton girl, though my own accomplishments run rather towards rowing, punting, bicycling.

  On Saturday, I confess, I rose with great misgivings. I was not a professional; and to find oneself practically backed for a thousand pounds in a race against men is a trifle disquieting. Still, having once put my hand to the plough, I felt I was bound to pull it through somehow. I dressed my hair neatly, in a very tight coil. I ate a light breakfast, eschewing the fried sausages which the Blighted Fraus pressed upon my notice, and satisfying myself with a gently-boiled egg and some toast and coffee. I always found I rowed best at Cambridge on the lightest diet; in my opinion, the raw beef régime is a serious error in training.

  At a minute or two before eleven I turned up at the Schiller Platz in my short serge dress and cycling jacket. The great square was thronged with spectators to see us start; the police made a lane through their midst for the riders. My backer had advised me to come to the post as late as possible, ‘For I have entered your name,’ he said, ‘simply as Lois Cayley. These Deutschers don’t think but what you’re a man and a brother. But I am apprehensive of con-tingencies. When you put in a show they’ll try to raise objections to you on account of your being a female. There won’t be much time, though, and I shall rush the objections. Once they let you run and win, it don’t matter to me whether I get the twenty thousand marks or not. It’s the advertizement that tells. Jest you mark my words, miss, and don’t you make no mistake about it—the world to-day is governed by advertizement.’

  So I turned up at the last moment, and cast a timid glance at my competitors. They were all men, of course, and two of them were German officers in a sort of undress cycling uniform. They eyed me superciliously. One of them went up and spoke to the Herr Over-Superintendent
who had charge of the contest. I understood him to be lodging an objection against a mere woman taking part in the race. The Herr Over-Superintendent, a bulky official, came up beside me and perpended visibly. He bent his big brows to it. ‘Twas appalling to observe the measurable amount of Teutonic cerebration going on under cover of his round, green glasses. He was perpending for some minutes. Time was almost up. Then he turned to Mr. Hitchcock, having finally made up his colossal mind, and murmured rudely, ‘The woman cannot compete.’

  ‘Why not?’ I inquired, in my very sweetest German, with an angelic smile, though my heart trembled.

  ‘Warum nicht? Because the word “rider” in the Kaiserly and Kingly for-this-contest-provided decree is distinctly in the masculine gender stated.’

  ‘Pardon me, Herr Over-Superintendent,’ I replied, pulling out a copy of Law 97 on the subject, with which I had duly provided myself, ‘if you will to Section 45 of the Bicycles-Circulation-Regulation-Act your attention turn, you will find it therein expressly enacted that unless any clause be anywhere to the contrary inserted, the word “rider,” in the masculine gender put, shall here the word “rideress” in the feminine to embrace be considered.’

  For, anticipating this objection, I had taken the precaution to look the legal question up beforehand.

  ‘That is true,’ the Herr Over-Superintendent observed, in a musing voice, gazing down at me with relenting eyes. ‘The masculine habitually embraces the feminine.’ And he brought his massive intellect to bear upon the problem once more with prodigious concentration.

  I seized my opportunity. ‘Let me start, at least,’ I urged, holding out the Act. ‘If I win, you can the matter more fully with the Kaiserly and Kingly Governments hereafter argue out.’

  ‘I guess this will be an international affair,’ Mr. Hitchcock remarked, well pleased. ‘It would be a first-rate advertizement for the Great Manitou ef England and Germany were to make the question into a casus belli. The United States could look on, and pocket the chestnuts.’

  ‘Two minutes to go,’ the official starter with the watch called out.

  ‘Fall in, then, Fräulein Engländerin,’ the Herr Over-Superintendent observed, without prejudice, waving me into line. He pinned a badge with a large number, 7, on my dress. ‘The Kaiserly and Kingly Governments shall on the affair of the starting’s legality hereafter on my report more at leisure pass judgment.’

  The lieutenant in undress uniform drew back a little.

  ‘Oh, if this is to be woman’s play,’ he muttered, ‘then can a Prussian officer himself by competing not into contempt bring.’

  I dropped a little curtsy. ‘If the Herr Lieutenant is afraid even to enter against an Englishwoman——’ I said, smiling.

  He came up to the scratch sullenly. ‘One minute to go!’ called out the starter.

  We were all on the alert. There was a pause; a deep breath. I was horribly frightened, but I tried to look calm. Then sharp and quick came the one word ‘Go!’ And like arrows from a bow, off we all started.

  I had ridden over the whole course the day but one before, on a mountain pony, with an observant eye and my sedulous American—rising at five o’clock, so as not to excite undue attention; and I therefore knew beforehand the exact route we were to follow; but I confess when I saw the Prussian lieutenant and one of my other competitors dash forward at a pace that simply astonished me, that fifty pounds seemed to melt away in the dim abyss of the Ewigkeit. I gave up all for lost. I could never make the running against such practised cyclists.

  However, we all turned out into the open road which leads across the plain and down the Main valley, in the direction of Mayence. For the first ten miles or so, it is a dusty level. The surface is perfect; but ‘twas a blinding white thread. As I toiled along it, that broiling June day, I could hear the voice of my backer, who followed on horseback, exhorting me in loud tones, ‘Don’t scorch, miss; don’t scorch; never mind ef you lose sight of ’em. Keep your wind; that’s the point. The wind, the wind’s everything. Let ’em beat you on the level; you’ll catch ’em up fast enough when you get on the Taunus!’

  But in spite of his encouragement, I almost lost heart as I saw one after another of my opponents’ backs disappear in the distance, till at last I was left toiling along the bare white road alone, in a shower-bath of sunlight, with just a dense cloud of dust rising gray far ahead of me. My head swam. It repented me of my boldness.

  Then the riders on horseback began to grumble; for by police regulation they were not allowed to pass the hindmost of the cyclists; and they were kept back by my presence from following up their special champions. ‘Give it up, Fräulein, give it up!’ they cried. ‘You’re beaten. Let us pass and get forward.’ But at the self-same moment, I heard the shrill voice of my American friend whooping aloud across the din, ‘Don’t you do nothing of the sort, miss! You stick to it, and keep your wind! It’s the wind that wins! Them Germans won’t be worth a cent on the high slopes, anyway!’

  Encouraged by his voice, I worked steadily on, neither scorching nor relaxing, but maintaining an even pace at my natural pitch under the broiling sunshine. Heat rose in waves on my face from the road below; in the thin white dust, the accusing tracks of six wheels confronted me. Still I kept on following them, till I reached the town of Höchst—nine miles from Frankfort. Soldiers along the route were timing us at intervals with chronometers, and noting our numbers. As I rattled over the paved High Street, I called aloud to one of them. ‘How far ahead the last man?’

  He shouted back, good-humouredly: ‘Four minutes, Fräulein.’

  Again I lost heart. Then I mounted a slight slope, and felt how easily the Manitou moved up the gradient. From its summit I could note a long gray cloud of dust rolling steadily onward down the hill towards Hattersheim.

  I coasted down, with my feet up, and a slight breeze just cooling me. Mr. Hitchcock, behind, called out, full-throated, from his seat, ‘No hurry! No flurry! Take your time! Take—your—time, miss!’

  Over the bridge at Hattersheim you turn to the right abruptly, and begin to mount by the side of a pretty little stream, the Schwarzbach, which runs brawling over rocks down the Taunus from Eppstein. By this time the excitement had somewhat cooled down for the moment; I was getting reconciled to be beaten on the level, and began to realise that my chances would be best as we approached the steepest bits of the mountain road about Niederhausen. So I positively plucked up heart to look about me and enjoy the scenery. With hair flying behind—that coil had played me false—I swept through Hofheim, a pleasant little village at the mouth of a grassy valley inclosed by wooded slopes, the Schwarzbach making cool music in the glen below as I mounted beside it. Clambering larches, like huge candelabra, stood out on the ridge, silhouetted against the skyline.

  ‘How far ahead the last man?’ I cried to the recording soldier. He answered me back, ‘Two minutes, Fräulein.’

  I was gaining on them; I was gaining! I thundered across the Schwarzbach, by half-a-dozen clamorous little iron bridges, making easy time now, and with my feet working as if they were themselves an integral part of the machinery. Up, up, up; it looked a vertical ascent; the Manitou glided well in its oil-bath at its half-way gearing. I rode for dear life. At sixteen miles, Lorsbach; at eighteen, Eppstein; the road still rising. ‘How far ahead the last man?’ ‘Just round the corner, Fräulein!’

  I put on a little steam. Sure enough, round the corner I caught sight of his back. With a spurt, I passed him—a dust-covered soul, very hot and uncomfortable. He had not kept his wind; I flew past him like a whirlwind. But, oh, how sultry hot in that sweltering, close valley! A pretty little town, Eppstein, with its mediæval castle perched high on a craggy rock. I owed it some gratitude, I felt, as I left it behind, for ‘twas here that I came up with the tail-end of my opponents.

  That one victory cheered me. So far, our route had lain along
the well-made but dusty high road in the steaming valley; at Nieder-Josbach, two miles on, we quitted the road abruptly, by the course marked out for us, and turned up a mountain path, only wide enough for two cycles abreast—a path that clambered towards the higher slopes of the Taunus. That was arranged on purpose—for this was no fair-weather show, but a practical trial for military bicycles, under the conditions they might meet with in actual warfare. It was rugged riding: black walls of pine rose steep on either hand; the ground was uncertain. Our path mounted sharply from the first; the steeper the better. By the time I had reached Ober-Josbach, nestling high among larch-woods, I had distanced all but two of my opponents. It was cooler now, too. As I passed the hamlet my cry altered.

  ‘How far ahead the first man?’.

  ‘Two minutes, Fräulein,’

  ‘A civilian?’

  ‘No, no; a Prussian officer.’

  The Herr Lieutenant led, then. For Old England’s sake, I felt I must beat him.

  The steepest slope of all lay in the next two miles. If I were going to win I must pass these two there, for my advantage lay all in the climb; if it came to coasting, the men’s mere weight scored a point in their favour. Bump, crash, jolt! I pedalled away like a machine; the Manitou sobbed; my ankles flew round so that I scarcely felt them. But the road was rough and scarred with waterways—ruts turned by rain to runnels. At half a mile, after a desperate struggle among sand and pebbles, I passed the second man; just ahead, the Prussian officer looked round and saw me. ‘Thunder-weather! you there, Engländerin?’ he cried, darting me a look of unchivalrous dislike, such as only your sentimental German can cast at a woman.