by Lauren Smith
“May, I’m not—”
She held up her hand. “Don’t.” Tears were welling in her eyes. She’d experienced this sort of rejection from many within the peerage, but somehow his cut so much deeper. Her heart ached, though she didn’t fully understand why.
Barrett approached them, having left the game. “We’ve another meeting with Jefferson Railroad tomorrow. We’ll lock it up then.”
“Excellent,” Loudoun nodded, schooling his features once again.
“I’ve sold my home in New York and May and I are staying at a hotel tonight. But it would be far easier for business purposes if we just stayed with you.” Barrett clapped him on the shoulder.
If May hadn’t been so upset, she would have laughed. Because it was so like Barrett to just invite himself to stay at someone’s home, completely disregarding social convention.
Loudoun’s jaw ticked. “Of course.”
Her eyes fluttered closed. She’d just realized they couldn’t even be friends and now she’d be stuck in a house with him.
This was a disaster.
This was a disaster. May under his roof with those curves, and her sweet chocolate brown eyes and her… He forced himself to stop thinking like that.
It didn’t matter how many endowments she had. They were ample. She’d always be a girl to him. A sweet, kind girl who deserved the absolute best from life.
Barrett began walking and May followed, her hips swaying suggestively as she went. His teeth clicked together again. How could he continue to think of her as a child when she walked like that?
The blonde made a third pass, her shoulder brushing his as she went by. He barely glanced at her, his eyes fixed on May’s figure just ahead of him. His fingers itching to rest around her tiny waist, to pull her close.
He growled to himself. He had to stop thinking this way. It was never happening. She was too innocent and he was far too gone. There was so little good left in him.
They weaved their way through the crowd, several men also taking notice of May’s virtues. He put on his most menacing glare and stared down each one he saw looking at her. None of them were good enough either.
Finally making it to the entrance, Barrett turned to him. “We’ll be arriving first thing in the morning. Please feel free to continue with the festivities.”
Loudoun shrugged. “I tired of the festivities two hours ago.”
Barrett gave him a grin. “I understand. Do you have a carriage here?”
Loudoun gave a shake of his head. “I’ll hire a hack.”
“Nonsense, we’ll take you back.” Barrett stepped outside.
Loudoun made to argue but a carriage was already pulling up to the stairs to receive them. Ah, to be a duke.
As soon as a footman opened the door, Barrett handed May in then climbed in himself. Loudoun followed.
He entered the dark interior, and immediately realized the problem. May was seated on one bench, Barrett on the other. Two large men on one bench seemed ridiculous but sitting next to May was a terrible mistake. Crouched over as he was, he needed to decide. Not to mention, he looked ridiculous pausing in such a way. And so, he sat next to May.
For a moment, her scent wrapped around him again, making him ache. But then she scooted toward the window, putting as much space between them as the carriage would allow.
“Is the city as you remember?” Barrett asked May softly.
“It’s so much bigger,” she breathed, smiling again.
He could hear her excitement, enthusiasm for life. Some piece of him ached to have lost that same zest, if he’d ever had it.
“How can a city grow so quickly?” She turned to Barrett. “Is the entire country expanding like this? It’s so exciting.”
“Don’t get any ideas. We’ve already told you. You’re going back to England. Your future is there.” Barrett’s voice had taken on a fatherly sternness that helped Loudoun relax. While May was no longer a child, she was still an innocent. Certainly not a sultry temptress.
But she’d always been exceedingly bright, even at thirteen. “How long are we staying in New York?” Her voice was neutral, the excitement gone. But he saw her lean forward, clearly more interested in the answer than she was letting on. Did Barrett know she was up to something? He’d seen May plot before. This bore all the signs.
He heard Barrett shift and he too flexed his neck, twisting his head from side to side. The duke let out a hiss of breath and his arms crossed over his chest.
“May,” Barrett’s voice held a warning tone.
She turned to him then, ignoring Barrett and the conversation they’d just been having. “Did Barrett tell you? Piper just gave birth to their fourth child. Another boy. You should see him, he’s the sweetest little lamb.”
An image burst into his thoughts, which he quickly pushed out again. One of May holding a beautiful little baby, wearing that same glowing smile. He pushed himself back into the corner of the seat as though distance would make these images go away.
“Don’t think you’ll distract me by talking about Calvin. You are like one of my children and I won’t neglect your future.”
“Tell him, Loudoun, that I’m not a child anymore.” Even in the dim light he could see her leaning forward, the profile of her beautiful face.
His throat tightened, restricting his ability to answer. Because she wasn’t a child anymore but he desperately wanted her to be. As a woman she was too tempting by half.
“Don’t answer that, Loudoun. She has this ridiculous notion that she’ll stay in America. She even wants an American husband, though she has an offer from an earl waiting for her in England.” Barrett tossed his hands in the air. “Your home is with us.”
She wanted to stay in America? His hands clenched as a wild hope and something akin to dread raced through him. He wanted her here, he realized, completely surprised. But it would be absolute torture to see her married to someone else.
“My home is nowhere,” she answered softly, pain radiated from the words. Slumping back against the seat, she turned her face back to the window.
His throat tightened because those words resounded in his heart. It had been a long time since he’d had a real home, his adult life marked with loneliness. But that was how he wanted it, he told himself, and he swallowed hard to erase the feelings of loss.
“May,” Barrett’s voice was unlike he’d ever heard it before. Always it was filled with a sort of confidently bored calm that showed he cared about nothing. But now, in the dark of this carriage, he sounded as though his heart were breaking. “We love you.”
“I love you, too,” she responded, her voice sounding tired. “Forgive me. It’s been a trying… I’m simply tired from the journey.”
“Of course,” Barrett answered.
Loudoun knew that May was no child and Barrett was watching his adopted daughter slip away.
Chapter Three
The next morning dawned bright and sunny. May stretched in her room, her melancholy from the evening before gone. That’s how it often was for her.
She didn’t know why she’d gotten so down last night. What did it matter if Lucius Loudoun didn’t like her? She didn’t want him either. Though a tiny voice protested that he did matter, a great deal, but she pushed it away.
A maid bustled in with a breakfast tray and May ate, wondering how she should proceed with her plan. Husbands didn’t just arrive at one’s door. They had to be found.
She dressed carefully, picking a day gown that complimented her figure. The pale blue accentuated her skin and eye tones while the fit showed her tiny waist to its best advantage. As her hair was dressed, she considered her options.
She hadn’t planned on still being attracted to Loudoun. She’d thought she’d buried that childhood crush. But it didn’t change the plan. She’d find an American husband. Perhaps Loudoun could even be helpful. He had the necessary connections.
Barrett wished for her to accept an offer from the Earl of Rutland. Her nose curled. He was po
mpous and arrogant and though he wanted her dowry, she could tell, he was less enamored with the rest of her. Especially her lack of title.
Wurts had mentioned a son. A man with a railroad company could help her see much of the country, go on adventures, be accepted into New York society.
But if that didn’t work out, she needed to secure more invitations so that she could meet other men. Women too. By making friends, she’d meet others and help secure a future here. Excitement bubbled inside her.
“May?” Barrett knocked on the adjoining door.
“I’m almost ready,” she called, trying to sound poised and calm despite the butterflies dancing in her stomach.
Their trunks loaded, they set off for Loudoun’s home. She’d barely been able to make out its outline in the dark but she already knew it was an impressive structure on Fifth Avenue. Would he be there when they arrived? Would he be happier to see her today?
The carriage pulled into the half-circle drive and large front doors swung open. It was a grand home with impressive and stately detail.
She didn’t have to wait long for answers to either of her questions. As she peeked out the window, he strode out of the house looking strong and dashing.
The carriage came to a halt and Barrett climbed out, offering May his hand. As she too stepped out of the buggy, Loudoun’s face pinched again.
Her own shoulders straightened as her spine stiffened.
“Barrett,” Loudoun nodded to the other man. “May,” his voice barely a mumble.
She tried not to roll her eyes. What had stung last night was suddenly irritating. She’d done nothing other than try to help this man. Indifference she could have understood, but this active dislike?
“Loudoun,” she returned in the same voice he’d used.
He gestured for them to enter and she took Barrett’s arm as she made her way up the stairs.
They hadn’t been in the entryway more than a moment when Loudoun spoke. “I’ve work to do. You’re welcome to join me, Barrett. May, make yourself at home.” And then he was gone.
With a sigh, May followed the butler to her room to unpack.
By lunchtime she’d unpacked her things, walked in the garden, and explored the library. She’d found an excellent selection of Jane Austen novels, but she hadn’t come to America to read.
Crossing back across the foyer, she planned to return to the garden and find a spot to open a book for today. She’d have to secure some invitations in order to make friends. Outings would fill the days and nights and connections would help her build a future.
Just as she entered the foyer, the bell rang at the front door. The butler immediately entered to answer it and she decided to greet whomever was at the door. At least it involved conversation.
Almost immediately, she regretted her decision because Mr. Wurts and Mr. Lancaster walked through the doorway, their eyes immediately bouncing all over her again.
She’d expected them to be more subtle without alcohol, but as Wurts stepped forward, he took her hand in a way that made her shiver with distaste. “Lovely to see you again, my dear,” he leered.
“You as well,” she nodded making to pull away. But as she stepped back, she ran into a solid form. Her head jerked to see who was behind her and her gaze collided with Loudoun’s.
A steadying hand came to her back, shivers racing up and down her spine at the touch. The hand remained in place but he came to stand beside her, a physical barrier between her and the other two men. “Nice to see you both,” he smiled but there was no warmth to it as he assessed the other men. His hand flexed against her back, drawing her even closer.
“It’s always a pleasure, Loudoun, but I have to admit, it’s especially sweet to see the darling Miss Stanly.” His eyes were roving all over her again. Loudoun’s hip came into contact with her side as he pulled her closer still. Any thought of Wurts was gone as her body tightened in the strangest places.
“Miss Stanly was just leaving,” Loudoun said, his teeth obviously clenched together.
“Such a shame,” Mr. Lancaster announced, his gaze equally busy.
“Miss Stanly,” Wurts gave her a toothy grin and she schooled her features to keep her distaste from showing. “I’m having a dinner party tomorrow night. Nothing too large, but my son will be there with several of his friends.” He leaned in to whisper with a wink. “Some of New York’s finest society.”
Loudoun’s hand had come around from her back to wrap around her waist and he actually pulled her back from Wurts, tucking her slightly behind his own body.
“Thank you,” she murmured. Normally, she’d give a slight curtsy, but it was impossible with Loudoun pressed so close. But still, excitement bubbled inside of her. This was a chance to put her plan in motion. Wurts junior was a perfect suitor.
“My office is right down the hall, gentlemen. His Grace is waiting. Sullivan will show you the way.” Loudoun still sounded as though his teeth were clenched when he spoke.
With a nod the men were gone, but Loudoun’s grip did not loosen. His eyes followed the retreating men’s backs. “You’re not going to that party.”
“Yes, I am,” she answered as she debated whether or not to step away. Her brain would work more properly but her body would miss the feel of his heat and strength against her.
He pulled her closer then, which she hadn’t thought was possible, but suddenly the flat of her stomach was pressed against his front. “He’s a letch. You shouldn’t be anywhere near him.”
She left her stomach where it was. There was something so comforting and exciting about being pressed against him this way. But she leaned her head back to look up at him, her hands coming to his chest. “I need to make connections in America. This is the best way. You’ll keep me safe, I’m sure.”
That’s when she felt it. His growing manhood pressed against her belly. Tingling started deep inside her, spreading through her body. His face held a look of horror as he stared down at her. “I’ll keep you safe?” he repeated sounding stunned.
She didn’t mean for them to, but her hands started sliding up his chest, exploring the hard muscles underneath, as they made their way around his neck. She searched her brain to remember what they were discussing. “You’ll be finishing the railroad deal, and will be in attendance, will you not?”
She could see his lips moving closer, his eyelids drooping. “I’ll go but not because of the railroad deal. I’d never let anything happen to you.”
All thoughts of suitors and her carefully crafted plan vacated her thoughts as excitement, she couldn’t quite tamp down, sizzled through her. She gave him a wide grin. “You do care about me.” She knew she shouldn’t be doing this, he wasn’t what she wanted. But in this moment, she just wanted to feel him once. Maybe it would even cure her of her feelings for him.
He startled under her hands and made to remove himself from her embrace but her fingers locked around his neck. She only had a moment and then he’d muscle his way out of her grasp and so she stood on tiptoe and pressed her lips to his. It was bold and terribly stupid but she did it anyway.
Bright spots flashed behind her eyelids as their lips touched together. And though he didn’t move toward her, he stopped struggling. His hands came to her backside and lifted her up and closer, pressing them together in a way that made her gasp with need.
He was kissing her over and over until he slanted her lips open and his tongue began exploring in her mouth. Two other gentlemen had kissed her, taken her unawares, but never had it been anything like this. The connection, at least physically, was undeniable. She melted into the hard angles of his body, not caring that he wasn’t what she wanted. For the moment, he was everything.
Her fingers twined into his hair and as she used her tongue the way he’d used his, the two tangling together in a way that made her breathless. She groaned into his mouth, desire making her press closer still.
He stilled at the sound and in the next moment he was gone, retreating toward the hall. “That
shouldn’t have happened,” he rasped out.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.” She searched his face looking for answers because she was so confused. She shouldn’t want him. He was older, cold, obviously didn’t like her. Most of all, he was English. And though he’d made his home in America that could change in a moment. Barrett could force Loudoun to return if he wanted. But some of those reasons melted away in the warmth of his embrace. “I just wanted to know what you felt like. Just once.”
“May, you’re just a—”
“Don’t say it,” she interrupted him, not wanting to hear him call her a child again. How could he even think that after what they’d just done?
“You’re innocent.” He was still moving further away. “In all the best ways. And I am ruined in all the worst.”
And then he was gone.
Chapter Four
He pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying to erase the memory. She’d been so beautiful and close, pliant in his arms and delicious to taste.
And while May’s kisses had been hesitant at first, she’d grown bold in his arms, making her damn near impossible to resist. Bloody bullocks, she’d only been in his house a matter of hours.
Smoothing his hair he entered the meeting with Wurts to find the man extending the dinner invitation to Barrett.
“I’m sure May would enjoy that. Will there be other young ladies as well? She could use some companions in New York to keep her occupied while we stay.”
“I’ll see to it.” Wurts nodded. “In fact my niece can be a companion of sorts. At least for shopping and what not. I’ll send her over this afternoon. Sarah is a lovely girl.”
Loudoun gritted his teeth, attempting not to roll his eyes. He tried to remember a time that other men weren’t falling all over themselves to accommodate the Duke of Manchester. It was his own doing that no one referred to him as an earl and they’d long forgotten his title. And honestly, with rare exception, he didn’t miss it.
