by Lauren Smith
His father had died many years ago. He returned to England every few years to see that his properties were in good working order. While he retained the title still, he never used it here in America.
His mother had passed less than a year prior. He’d returned to settle her affairs and dutifully pay his respects. With no siblings, he no longer had a family. He had mourned, but not in the way everyone would expect. He mourned what never was, a loving family to protect and guide him.
“Excellent.” Barrett nodded, already shifting his focus to the papers on the desk. “The three of us will be there.”
This time Loudoun’s eyes did, in fact, move skyward. Both May and Barrett just assumed he’d attend. Which of course he would, but how did they know that?
The reason for his attendance should have been work, but it wasn’t. Sparkling brown eyes danced in his thoughts.
No no no, he chanted. He didn’t do relationships. Flora had taught him he just wasn’t capable. But even before when he had contemplated marriage, he’d known that feelings would never be part of his decision.
When he had considered marriage to Flora, it had been to refill the coffers, not out of some soft-hearted feelings. Even without love, he’d managed to ruin that relationship.
Despite how terribly he’d behaved, Flora had forgiven him. She’d helped him. He owed it to her to right now and the only way to never hurt another woman was to never attempt another relationship.
He didn’t know how to give, or to respectfully take. His parents hated each other and the only time they cared about him was when they wanted to get back at the other.
He’d thrived on it at first. Those times they actually paid attention to him. But he’d come to realize it was cheap. So he’d held himself apart from them. Deliberately partaken in any behavior they deemed unfit. And somewhere along the way, found the sweet oblivion of alcohol, a welcome diversion from life.
No one had ever really loved him and it was unlikely to change.
So why was May tempting him at all? She was too young, too sweet, and too dewy-eyed to ever consider the type of liaison he’d want. What was more, he was allowing the line between attraction and feelings to blur. He shouldn’t care so much about Wurts’ eyes on her and he certainly shouldn’t be putting her above his business.
She was barely a woman. Well her curves said she was all woman…but to the point, she was young and innocent and working her way, after only a day, into parts of him he thought had been gone forever.
And that absolutely couldn’t happen. He’d have to find a way to deter her. That should be easy enough. It came naturally to him.
“Lucius,” Barrett called, waving him over to the desk.
Pushing any thoughts of a certain young lady out of his mind, he crossed the room to do what he always did. Work.
May, on the other hand, sat in the garden daydreaming again. She told herself it was foolish fancy. But the feel of Loudoun’s lips had set her to flame. It was better than any of her imaginings. While he looked to dislike her, he kissed as though he liked her a great deal.
Tossing her book aside, she strolled along the paths again. She had to stop thinking this way. What she needed was a distraction.
Perhaps Loudoun had a driver who could escort her and a companion on a shopping trip. Not that she needed anything, but exploring New York would be a great deal of fun and she’d wear out the stone paths in his garden if she kept pacing like this.
She waited another hour, hoping that the meeting was finished, and then she headed to Loudoun’s office.
The two were standing at the desk, their heads bent over various stacks of documents and ledgers. They were of equal height, which was unusual. Barrett usually towered over everyone in a room. Loudoun’s broad shoulders flexed as he pointed at various columns.
She stood for a moment just drinking in the sight of him, her lips tingling as she thought of their kiss. “What is it, May?” he asked before either man had looked up. His voice flat, unreadable.
“I am hoping to explore a little. Could I use your driver? He’d know the streets far better than—”
Barrett scowled at her and made to answer but Loudoun beat him, cutting her off.
“I don’t think that would be a very good idea.” Loudoun still hadn’t looked up from his ledgers.
She made a noise of indignation. “I can assure you that in London—”
But he interrupted her once again. “New York is growing rapidly and there is a great deal of tension between various immigrant populations. You shouldn’t be out without a proper male escort.” His eyes finally looked up to hers but they were impassive. There was no hint of affection or emotion of any kind, just a blank mask.
“I agree with Loudoun. I’ll take you shopping.” Barrett’s gaze had returned to his documents so he didn’t see her eyes narrowing. They were treating her like a child again.
“Barrett, the likelihood of you stepping away from work to take me on an outing is slim at best.” Her hands came to her hips. “I simply want to see some of the city and visit a few shops in the middle of the day.”
“Out of the question,” Loudoun answered.
“Absolutely not,” Barrett agreed.
She took two more steps into the room. “You’re both being ridiculous.”
“You just don’t understand the danger here.” Loudoun stepped around the desk to give her a menacing glare. “You’re nothing more than a sheltered child.”
What was wrong with him? A few hours ago he’d been holding her in his arms. Any tenderness was now gone, replaced with condescending annoyance. Why had she ever thought it a good idea to kiss him? “I understand plenty.” She stepped closer, her voice dropping and her eyes casting over to Barrett. It was a veiled threat. Her voice was a whisper, given so only Loudoun could hear. “I know lots about marriage and what might motivate a duke to require an earl to take a bride.”
He blinked a few times, surprise flashing over his features for a moment before he returned to anger. “You wouldn’t?” His lips thinned.
If she were a more cutthroat person, she’d announce that he hadn’t thought her childish when he’d kissed her. Not only would it prove him wrong, but the focus would shift from her to Loudoun.
Tempting as it was, part of her knew that she could never act that way. Not only would he despise her, she wouldn’t much care for herself. What was it about him that made her act in ways she would never normally behave? And Barrett would likely insist they marry and then decree they move back to England.
But that didn’t mean she couldn’t use the threat of it…just a little. “How strange you now think I’m childish.” She paused, allowing those words to sink in. “I was sure earlier you considered me to be—”
His eyes went wide with fear and she wanted to crow at the victory. Because he deserved it. “What did Loudoun consider you to be?” Barrett asked.
She put on her sweetest smile. She could swear that beads of sweat were forming on his brow. “Quite knowledgeable. He asked for my opinion on Wurts.”
“Good thinking, Loudoun. May is an excellent judge of character.” Barrett was still looking down at the papers and so he missed Loudoun going limp with relief. Then he gave her an angry glare, which she ignored.
“I’d like to ask you one more time if I might borrow your driver and carriage for a brief outing. I’m sure you have someone able to keep me safe.” Despite the kiss, Loudoun still considered her childish. It shouldn’t sting, his opinion wasn’t supposed to matter. But somehow it did. Taking a breath, she put on her most confident smile.
He assessed her silently for several moments. The flaring of his nostrils the only indication he was agitated. After several seconds, he asked. “Do you play chess?”
“Oh yes,” she replied. “I love a good game of strategy.” She crossed her arms over her chest because he was avoiding answering.
“I’ll find a driver who will take you to a few shops within this neighborhood only.” He glanc
ed back. “If Barrett approves.”
“I trust your judgment, if you think she’ll be safe.” Barrett partially looked up and May was nearly shocked to see he was grinning. The man never grinned. Not unless he was holding a baby. Or Piper, his wife.
Loudoun gave a curt nod and strode over to the bell cord by the door. Giving it a sharp tug, he continued to glare at her as she smiled in return. Barrett turned away to shuffle through some papers on the chest behind him. Loudoun stepped up to her, hissing out a whisper. “You can only use the threat of telling Barrett about that kiss so many times before I figure out how to work around it.”
She shrugged, looking him straight in the eye. Her chin was tilted back rather far in order to accomplish that task. “I wish you luck with that.”
His eyes narrowed. “I’d forgotten how troublesome you could be. Never taking no for an answer.”
One shoulder lifted in a shrug. “Admit it’s because I am usually right.”
“Not this time,” he gritted out. “This is about your safety.”
“Perhaps you can go with her Loudoun.” Barrett was shifting papers. “We’ve mostly hashed out the details of the contract. I’ve the books to go over but you needn’t be here. And Wurts’ niece could accompany you as a lady’s companion. He’s left me the address, we’ll send the carriage to fetch her.”
Loudoun gave an exasperated grunt. “I’ve other work—”
“Nonsense.” Barrett waved his hand. “See that she gets a new dress for tomorrow’s dinner.”
It was May’s turn to huff. “I don’t need a--”
But Barrett waved her off too. “You might enjoy American fashion while you’re here.” And then Barrett sat down, effectively dismissing them both.
Chapter Five
May attempted to stare without being caught. Loudoun looked furious as he sat on the bench across from her and her companion, Wurts’ niece, Sarah. His scowl did little to diminish his good looks.
She bit her lips, remembering, for the hundredth time, the feel of his lips on hers. She wanted to feel them again but she knew it was unlikely to happen any time soon. All of his defenses were in place.
She ignored the little voice that told her this was a terrible idea. The one that insisted she stick with her plan and focus on a nice, American husband. At this moment, it sounded rather dull.
Not that she was giving up. She wasn’t. But it wouldn’t hurt her chances of finding a husband if she had the tiniest bit of experience would it?
Kissing Loudoun again, well that was interesting indeed. Fortunately for her, she had a plan. He seemed his most vulnerable when in the company of other men, particularly men who were eyeing her. She’d simply use that to her advantage tomorrow evening at Mr. Wurts’ dinner party. With any luck, they’d share a kiss in the garden or perhaps the library. Barrett was correct, a new dress was a lovely idea.
The carriage rumbled to a stop and surprise made her blink. She’d said she wished to see New York but she’d forgotten to look out the window the entire trip to the dressmaker.
Loudoun climbed out of the carriage and handed the ladies down, seeing them into the shop. A dressmaker approached. “May I help you?”
May stepped forward, expecting Loudoun to turn and leave now that he’d safely delivered her. “Miss Stanly is looking for a gown for dinner tomorrow evening.”
She turned to look at him, tossing him a glare. He’d always been a bit heavy-handed and today was no exception.
But the dressmaker only smiled. “Anything in particular you had in mind?”
“A pale blue, silk.” Loudoun turned to a chair to sit.
Inwardly, May huffed, but outwardly she remained smiling. “And pale pinks, please.”
“No, just the blues,” Loudoun was leaning his head back against the wall, closing his eyes.
“My lord, you’ve forgotten your place.” May turned to tell him that Barrett was her guardian, not him. He was only picking dresses to hurry her along and most likely, to irritate her.
“My lord?” The dressmaker repeated and May knew she’d made a tactical error. The woman gave a curtsy and then, hands shaking slightly in excitement, said, “Let me just get a second attendant.”
Loudoun gave a small chuckle and Sarah eyed him blushing, giggling too. A petite blonde, she was pretty and quiet. Though May had barely spoken to her, she’d like to get to know her as a potential friend.
“Why are we laughing?” Sarah asked looking from one to the other.
Loudoun spoke first. “Because May just lost her decision-making abilities.”
She gave a delicate sniff. “And Lord Loudoun just lost several hours of his day.” She didn’t grin but judging by his scowl, he knew she was correct. Now that the ladies perceived him as a man with a large purse, they’d have endless dresses for her to try on.
She approached him, her hips having an added sway with the victory. His eyes darkened as they roved over her. She bent down close to his ear, to whisper delicately. “And since you are not buying these dresses, you should not be offering an opinion.”
There was a swish of a curtain as the dressmaker returned with two attendants in tow carrying dresses. Before they could even display them, Loudoun pointed to a pale blue gown the color of the ocean on a sunny day. “That one.”
“Excellent choice,” the woman gushed as she grasped May’s hand to pull her into the dressing room.
Sarah followed behind them, pointing to gowns she’d like to try on. If Loudoun thought he could strong-arm her into hurrying this trip along, he was sorely mistaken.
Fifteen minutes later, May assessed her image.
Loudoun had chosen quickly to make this trip as brief as possible. She knew it was true, he didn’t want to be here and so he was pushing things along.
Even done in haste, Loudoun’s choice was excellent. It exposed a good deal of cleavage and highlighted her narrow waist. The color seemed to accentuate the rich brown of her hair and add a sparkle to her eye.
“Shall we show your gentleman?” the dressmaker asked.
May hesitated. He wasn’t her gentleman. Though some part of her warmed at the idea. His hands on her, his lips kissing her again. Their skin…
Gads, she had to stop this. And showing him the dress wouldn’t help. He’d see the dress tomorrow and showing him now would give him the opportunity to gloat. Then again, she may as well get it over with.
With a nod, she started toward the front room and the dressmaker followed behind her.
Loudoun still sat with his eyes closed. She stopped, expecting him to look up but he remained still. Clearing her throat to get his attention, she waited a few more seconds. He didn’t open his eyes. “I’m sure it will be fine.”
The dressmaker coughed delicately and May felt a blush climbing in her cheeks. First he was ordering her about and now he was ignoring her. Why did she even like this man?
Turning on her heel, she announced, “We’ll take it. Can you have it altered by tomorrow evening? Bring some day dresses, and several more evening gowns for me to try on.”
He was next to her before she’d even made it another step, his hand coming to her arm. “One dress,” he rasped.
She stood straighter and he gave a sharp intake of breath, his eyes riveted to her cleavage. Her eyebrows rising, she addressed the dressmaker. “Bring in the dresses, please. I’ll be right there.” Once they were alone, she poked him in the chest. “I forgot how absolutely annoying you are.”
His hand came to her waist, “I am trying to forget how beautiful you are.”
“Why?” she asked.
“I’ve already told you. I’m not right for you. You’re too young and too—”
“Stop saying that.” She gave him a glare. “And if you are trying to forget, as you say, why pick this dress? Or any dress for that matter.”
“I keep forgetting how…” he paused, “well-endowed you are. And I thought if we were going to this dreadful dinner we may as well seal the contract.”
Understanding dawned in her eyes. There was nothing between them, it shouldn’t feel like a betrayal. But it did. “By displaying my cleavage for Wurts to see? I’ll admit to thinking Wurts junior might have potential as a suitor but I would never so bold as to put myself on display in such a way.”
“He is not a potential suitor. Trust me on this. And as far as the dress is concerned, I liked the color, May. I didn’t know it would,” he paused to swallow, “look like that. And Barrett would not approve of you saying such things.”
“Pish,” she waved her hand. “Didn’t you say last night I wasn’t a lady?” Another way that Loudoun had cut her. Why could he so easily skirt past her defenses?
“The definition is different in America.” He shrugged. “There isn’t a man in New York who wouldn’t want you for a wife.”
“I’m fairly certain I know at least one.” She turned away then, motioning to the dressmaker that she was ready to try on other dresses. “
“We’re not staying all afternoon, May,” he called from behind her.
“I respectfully disagree,” she tossed over her shoulder as she returned to the dressing room. She likely shouldn’t be so antagonistic but he was irritating her with his coldness and heavy-handedness. She wasn’t one to back down from a challenge.
Sighing to herself, she was forced to admit that she cared altogether too much about what he thought. It was clouding her judgment and she was acting like a fool, sparring with him in a dress shop.
Perhaps she’d try on a few more dresses and call it a compromise. The dressmaker carefully unbuttoned the new gown and then, once the bodice was removed, she stepped out of it. In her corset and petticoats she turned to assess some of the day dresses the attendants had pulled out for her. Loudoun appeared in the doorway.
She gasped and for a split second made to cover herself but then thought better of it and her hands landed on her hips instead. “What are you doing?”
“Respectfully telling you that it is time to leave,” he gritted out, sounding angry but his eyes were ravaging every detail of her body.
