Forbidden Lessons

by Noël Cades

  "Will you dance with us Sir?"

  Mr Poynter’s round face was already perspiring as he tried to disco dance amid a group of girls. Despite the presence of the St Duncan’s boys the male teachers were usually in strong demand. Even Mr Lanaway had been dragged onto the floor.

  Susie made a beeline for Mr Rydell. "Won’t you dance with us? All the other teachers are."

  "You’re not even in my class, are you?" But he knew she was Laura’s friend and was doing this for her.

  Being face-to-face with one another, albeit with the chaperonage of the rest of the group, was electric. He had never seen Laura dressed up and Susie had done a spectacular job helping her get ready.

  Laura wanted to dance just for him, wanted everyone else to dissolve. Looking into his eyes she knew he felt the same. Trying to sneak out would be insanity, they would just have to be patient.

  He couldn’t spend more than a couple of songs with them, he was technically on duty.

  They danced among themselves and with some of the St Duncan’s boys. Charlotte and Susie had something of a prestige among them since it was known that they were dating sixth form prefects. The younger boys still danced with them but kept their distance.

  "Why’s Margery spending so much time with Teresa Hubert?" Charlotte asked.

  "She borrowed Andrea’s dress," Susie said. Laura felt guilty as she knew it was partly her fault that Margery had nearly been without one.

  Margery felt neutral at the dance which was a step up from the misery she had expected. She didn’t dance with any of the boys but she was very content to feel that she looked normal.

  Susie was aware of Mrs Ayer’s gimlet eye on her, but she ignored it. She was behaving as perfectly as she could. She itched to liven up the night by dancing on a table or spiking the punch but she restrained herself.

  At the end of the night there was a single slow number, the only song where people danced as couples. This was still extremely chaste: any boy and girl dancing too close together received swift intervention. It was unofficially known as the "six inch rule".

  Now time for my supreme sacrifice, Susie thought. Dragging Laura and Charlotte with her she marched up to where some of the teachers were standing by the side of the room.

  "You’ll dance with me won’t you Mr Poynter?" Susie grabbed the history teacher, and whirled him round onto the dancefloor. Charlotte followed her cue, and reluctantly danced with the equally reluctant Mr Lanaway.

  That left Laura with a green light to dance one-on-one with Mr Rydell. Best of all, they could talk.

  "You look beautiful, it’s been torture all night not being able to speak to you," he said. "Though as beautiful as that dress is, I would like to rip it right off you."

  Laura hoped no one could lip-read. She had to concentrate on trying to keep dancing as she wanted to just stand there and gaze at him.

  "Then I would like to run my hands all over your body, until you were begging me to make love to you right on the middle of this dancefloor." He was smiling lightly as he spoke, so anyone watching them would have assumed he was making general conversation.

  "And if you had read Goethe, you would know that quote," he continued.

  Laura was momentarily confused then realised that Mr Poynter had just passed within earshot.

  They were playing with fire.

  "Go on then, do it now," she challenged him when the History teacher had moved by. "In front of everyone."

  She moved her hands to her own body as she spoke, swaying her hips and smiling at him.

  His eyes narrowed and she realised how nearly she could bring him to the edge of losing control. They both knew that he would deal with her hard, later.

  * * *

  "I’m not sure if that was entirely wise, dancing one-on-one with the girls," Miss Wingrove remarked to him later.

  "I couldn’t see the harm. And Charles was getting into the swing," he said, referring to Mr Poynter.

  "You’re not Charles Poynter. Even he ought to know better. I know this lot are only Lower School, but in an all-girls school, at this age, they’re touch paper. Just be careful."

  At least he was no Mr Peters, Miss Wingrove thought. Thank God he hadn't been here tonight, with Susie Clarke wearing that incredibly inappropriate dress.

  Mr Peters had already approached the other English teacher with his offer to coach the participants in her poetry recital. Miss Wingrove was well aware that there was only one pupil he was interested in coaching, and it certainly wasn't to improve her poetic performance.

  * * *

  The excitement lasted well into the night with hardly anyone observing silence after lights out. Many had swapped addresses with St Duncan's boys and the excitement of half term lay ahead. Just one more day.

  "I can't believe you three choosing teachers for the slow dance," someone said to Charlotte. "What a complete waste."

  "Not if I get an A in history," Susie said.

  Laura was incredibly grateful to her but Susie waved off her thanks. "It's not as though we were interested in any of those boys anyway. And at least you got some time with your man."

  Her man. The phrase thrilled Laura, though she didn't know if she was entitled to it. Sneaking around all the time prevented her from feeling official.

  "He looked like he wanted to ravish you right there. Don't worry, no one else would have noticed," she said as Laura looked alarmed.

  They had bigger plans for the next night. Julian and Darius would be at the Sixth Form dance and planned to sneak out and meet them. Along with Jonathan, the boy Laura had kissed. She was going to have to let him down gently somehow, find some excuse. She could hardly tell him the truth.

  18. Mistaken

  It was the Sixth Form girls' turn for fun, but Susie and Charlotte bided their time. The fact that they had taken two of the biggest prizes would not go down well with the older girls so they'd had to keep things discreet.

  "Won't we look awful if they meet us in school uniform and all the Sixth Formers are done up to the nines?" Charlotte said.

  "They won't care. It will be dark anyway."

  Margery wasn't actively involved in their plans, but was secretly wondering and hoping if the boy she had liked might be there.

  Laura had rehearsed various break up phrases in her head. She had sought Susie's input to little avail as she had dismissed all of Laura's ideas.

  "You can't say 'it's not you, it's me' as everyone knows that's a lie. And you can't tell him that your studies are too demanding because that's obviously a lie to. And 'it's just not working' won't do because let's face it, there's nothing really happening to work or not, is there? A letter or so every month."

  Susie's suggestion was to take a leaf from the Queen Mother's book and simply "never apologise, never explain."

  But Laura couldn’t be quite that harsh.

  * * *

  Not having late prep on the eve of the holiday made it easier for them to sneak out of Michaelmas House to the main school.

  They had arranged to meet the St Duncan’s boys at eight o’clock by the side of the hall. It was a cold night and Laura felt miserable with nerves.

  Jonathan looked really happy to see her which made her feel even worse. She walked with him around the corner, girding herself for the difficult conversation. Unaware, he put his arms around her and went to kiss her. "Don’t," she said.

  Before she could start explaining she looked up. Mr Rydell stood there, just a short distance away.

  His face was like ice.

  He came over to them. "Neither of you should be here. Get back to the hall immediately," he told Jonathan who shot her a worried, apologetic look and left.

  "And you, this way."

  He dragged her to the nearby Art room which was unlocked.

  Inside it was dark, lit only by lights shining through the window from outside. He didn’t turn a light on. Instead he gripped her shoulders and kissed her savagely. His mouth bruised hers, his teeth grazed her lips.
<
br />   She was thrilled to be with him, relieved that he wasn’t rejecting her, but terrified of his anger. "It wasn’t what you think," she began when he broke off.

  "I don’t care what it is, Laura, I need to make you understand why you are not going to mess around with some schoolboy."

  "But…"

  He silenced her again with his mouth on hers, tearing off his jacket. He pushed her against one of the tables and tugged her underwear down from under her skirt.

  The smell of paint, the smell of clay. The same clay she had used to mould a figurine shaped like him.

  She couldn’t stop him even if she had wanted to. His hands were already possessing her.

  "It doesn’t take much to get you wet, does it? Was that for him or me?"

  She couldn’t believe the effect he had on her. Even being brutal he turned her core to liquid.

  He had thrust two fingers inside her, feeling how wet she was, already lubricated enough for him. Removing them, he pushed her down on the table, and replaced them with his full length.

  She cried out at the suddenness and the size of him. He didn’t allow her a moment to get used to it.

  He had never been this forceful before. He drove into her, as hard as he could, again and again, trying to own her, trying to punish her. He gripped her wrists and held her arms above her head so she couldn’t move, couldn’t fight him.

  He twisted as he thrust into her, screwing into her as deep as possible. He wanted to hurt her as much as he wanted to bring her over the edge, so she knew that he had command of her, dominion over her body.

  And she was lost. Nothing but raw feeling. Her heart ached for him as much as her body throbbed.

  "You are mine. Mine, mine," he repeated as he pushed into her.

  "Yes!" she cried out to him as her body took over.

  "Come for me, Laura, come for me now."

  She had never orgasmed so hard. She was practically sobbing, clinging to him.

  Just as it started to happen he climaxed too, enhancing her own sensations. It was the first time they had come together, he usually got her there first.

  Then staying inside her he slumped on top of her, and she felt his weight crushing her body. She could only just breathe.

  "God, forgive me, forgive me, I am so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you," he said.

  She wasn’t sure how long they lay there for, in the near darkness, the hard surface of the art table beneath her and his body above.

  Eventually he got up from her and helped her up. He held her to him and stroked her hair. Tenderly.

  "It wasn’t what you thought," she said.

  "It’s okay, you don’t have to explain."

  But she told him anyway. How Jonathan had never been any more than a penpal, that she had been about to let him down, that she no interest in him or any other boys.

  "And I took my anger out on you like that. What have I come to, a grown man getting jealous of some schoolboy?" He was truly contrite, hating himself.

  She tried to make it better. "I felt bad that you misunderstood and I couldn’t explain, but you didn’t hurt me," she said.

  "I forced myself on you in anger, I practically raped you."

  "You knew - you could tell - I wanted you too. Otherwise you wouldn’t have done."

  "Wouldn’t I?"

  She looked at his face, the dark, deep shadows under its angles. His hair fell over his brow, he looked haunted with guilt.

  She felt anxious. "Do you still…?"

  "Love you? Christ yes. I am going out of my mind with what I feel for you. Look what it’s doing to me."

  She had meant to ask him if he still wanted to see her, or if he regretted it too much to continue, but his answer was more than she could have hoped for.

  * * *

  He took a risk and walked back with her towards Michaelmas House, until he needed to take the other path to the groundsman's cottages. He couldn’t bear to let her go alone.

  She loved the darkness for giving them cover. It was a starless, moonless night. It had rained earlier and the tarmac still glistened under the street lights.

  "I hate leaving you, particularly after the way I treated you."

  "I wish I could just come back with you. I could sneak out in the morning."

  But it was too much risk.

  "Just six more days and we get to spend the whole weekend together. Not that I’ll find it easy waiting," he said.

  They stood briefly before their paths diverged.

  "This is me wanting to take you in my arms and kiss you and tell you how sorry I am and how much I love you, but not daring to in the remote chance someone can see this far in the dark and is watching us," he said.

  "This is me doing the same."

  "Sleep well, I will think of you all night."

  * * *

  Back in the dorm Susie convulsed with laughter when Laura gave them a brief account of what had happened.

  "We wondered what had happened to you. Jonathan passed us on the way back in and looked absolutely terrified. From the way he described it we thought it must have been Mr Tyrrell who found you. Too funny that it was Mr Rydell!"

  "So did you manage to explain everything to him? Was he mad?" Charlotte asked.

  It was written all over Laura’s face though she had intended not to reveal anything.

  "Oh my God you fucked him in the art room!" Susie said. "How are we supposed to concentrate the next time we do ceramics?"

  She had enjoyed her stolen half hour with Darius, and Charlotte had managed to go further with Julian than with any of her Welsh boys over the summer. She was quite starry-eyed about him.

  Margery had been on the edges of the conversation, not saying anything. She felt terribly left out. But she also burned to know if the boy she liked had been there. She screwed up her courage.

  "Was Robert there?"

  "We didn’t see him. Honestly it’s not you, Margie, I don’t think he really goes after anyone. He’s shy, Darius said."

  Susie was lying to save Margery’s feelings. In actual fact Darius had said that he wasn’t interested.

  The last thing Laura remembered before she fell asleep was that he hadn’t used any protection. Thank God her period was due.

  19. Out of bounds

  He met her at the station and she ran into his arms. It had been the longest week of her life. They had managed to phone each other once or twice, but it was hard because the phone at Laura’s house was in the living room. It was difficult to get any privacy.

  Carrying her bag, he walked her outside to his car.

  "Your parents don’t suspect anything?"

  "No, they were just glad for me that a friend had asked me to stay." Susie was her alibi for the weekend.

  Before he started the engine, he turned to her. "So I figured as it was the holiday, there was no point just going back to school. How would you like to go up to London for a couple of days?"

  "Really?" She would absolutely love it.

  "We can do whatever we want, no sneaking around. See whatever you want to see."

  Laura’s first thought was Madame Tussaud’s and a whole host of other tourist sites that she had always wanted to visit. Her family lived so far from London that she had only been there a couple of times. She didn’t want to sound like a child though. "The British Museum?"

  "You’d really like to go there? I was thinking more along the lines of the Tower of London or the Zoo. But we can easily visit the Museum if you want. There’s plenty of time."

  "Actually I would really like to see Madame Tussaud’s."

  He laughed. "Then we’ll do that."

  "Where will we stay?"

  "I’ll get us a hotel. The Ritz if you like."

  She wasn’t sure if he was joking. She also remembered that she had hardly any money with her. Suddenly it all seemed huge, she felt out of her depth. She was familiar with the confines of school, comfortable with its restrictions. But this - a hotel - just the two of them in the city for
an entire weekend, was she ready for it? She tried to think like Susie, who would doubtless have demanded the Royal Suite and champagne and made a ball of it.

  She stared out of the window. They were already on the motorway.

  He picked up on her anxiety. "What’s worrying you?"

  "Nothing, it’s just I haven’t really got much money with me."

  "Laura, you don’t have to pay for a thing. I earn a wage, you don’t. Nor does that put you under any obligation to me. Of course if you want to feel obligated…" He was joking, but he put his hand on her thigh, and moved it up. "Pity you’re not wearing a skirt, this would be a lot easier."

  "You can’t do this here, you’ll crash."

  He opened the front of her jeans and pushed his hand down below her underwear, making her squirm in her seat. His fingers found exactly what they sought, and he applied just the right pressure.

  "I can’t! Not in broad daylight," she said.

  "You can and you will."

  God. She closed her eyes and bit her lip. He moved his fingers over her, feeling her increased wetness at his touch.

  "I’m not going to stop until you’re there."

  He loved making her come, making her lose control from his touch.

  "This is only the start. I want you every way tonight, Laura, I want all of you."

  She didn’t know exactly what he meant but she knew she could trust him. Her breathing was getting faster, she was almost too sensitive beneath his fingers, but he didn’t relent.

  It was such direct stimulation that it didn’t take him long to bring her over the edge. She felt her face flush with heat.

  He glanced at her. "You are so beautiful when you’re aroused."

  * * *

  It was the first time she had stayed in a proper hotel. She wanted to look around at everything, but he threw her on the bed.