Stroke Of Fear

by Kar, Alla

  “You know, this isn’t the nineteen hundreds. You don’t have to break your back so you can carry my bags.”

  “You don’t think I can handle it?”

  I squeeze his bicep. “I guess you’ve got it under control.”

  He rolls his eyes. We get the group together, and double check all seven of their bags. Austin’s coming, and I saw the irritation in Tanner’s face when he saw his name on the roster.

  The hike up the trail is three miles. My feet are killing me in these hiking boots my mom got me. She said I would need them this summer. I’m fighting the urge to bury them in the woods.

  We stop halfway and have a snack and water, then we start back. Tanner looks hot hiking with me. A bead of sweat rolls down the side of his face, into the scruff of his jaw. I want to lick it off.

  It’s nightfall by the time we get there. The camp is a clearing in the middle of nowhere. I’m not sure how safe this is, but there were no murders listed when I Googled the camp three weeks ago. I’m hoping it doesn’t start now.

  “Ah,” I say, dropping to a log surrounding the campfire.

  Tanner eyes me rubbing my feet but doesn’t say anything. He gets everyone settled, and then starts to show them how to put up their tents. I’m glad he knows how, because the damn instruction pamphlet isn’t much help.

  A few minutes into attempting to put their tents up, Austin comes over with a ripped one in his hands. Tanner growls. “What the hell did you do?”

  Austin smiles and pushes his blond locks from his face. “It broke. I guess I’ll have to go back.”

  “No, you can use mine.” Tanner’s gaze catches mine and I know he wants to sleep in my tent. He lifts an eyebrow asking if its okay and I nod.

  Austin frowns. “Then where will you…?” he trails off, a smile forming on his face. “Ah, you’re going to share one with Aubrey. You’re welcome, bro. You’re welcome.”

  Tanner points toward his tent. “That’s yours. Don’t fuck it up, or I’m gonna whoop your ass.”

  Sharing a tent. Sure, I had imagined Tanner sneaking into my tent late tonight, holding me like he did in the field. But, knowing he has to sleep with me warms my body everywhere.

  Tossing some logs into the fire, I try not to laugh. Even though Austin is obnoxious, I can’t help but like him. He has that effect on people.

  The night is settling in, the crickets singing, the moon hangs brightly in the sky. Beside the moonlight, the fire is the only other source of light. The kids eat their Lunchables, and the ones who will eat the beans Tanner made shovel those in their mouths. I watch as he stirs the pot that was here for us, his muscles clenching with each movement. My thoughts drift back to the night before. He felt so warm and safe. And God, he can kiss.

  “See something you like, Blondie?”

  I jump and drop my plastic fork.

  “Austin,” I say, grabbing another one from the package.

  He laughs and taps my shoulder. “You like my brother, huh?”

  I sigh but don’t answer. I don’t have to answer him.

  “Humm,” he says, chomping on his food. “He’s a good guy. Damaged, but good. But, I kind of think you’re damaged, too.”

  What. The. Hell? “How would you know that?” I ask, keeping an eye over all the kids eating.

  “I see it in your eyes. It’s the same look Tanner gets when Amanda is mentioned.”

  I know that look. I see it every day in the mirror.

  Tanner sits down on the other side of me with his food and nudges my shoulder. “My brother givin’ you a hard time?”

  I glance at Austin, who is now flirting with a girl on his other side.

  “No.”

  We finish our meals. I let the kids make s’mores and tell stories around the fire. Tanner skips me when it gets around to my turn. I’m glad. I don’t want another repeat of last time.

  “Okay, guys. It’s time to get into bed. It’s eleven. Stay in your own tents. If you have to use the bathroom through the night, come get us. Now that I think of it, does anyone have to go now?” No one says anything, so Tanner continues. “We don’t want you going off by yourselves, ’kay? Come. Get. Us.”

  They all mumble underneath their breath and start staggering toward their tents. I gather the leftovers and dump them in a trash bag we brought along. There are cans everywhere. This is birth control in itself. Never have kids and you won’t have to pick up everything they put in their hands.

  A warm breath spills over my neck. “Need some help, darlin’?”

  “Well, I’m finished now.” I turn and glance up at him. “Just like a man, wait until you’re finished to ask.”

  A smile is riding on his lips, the moonbeams animating his face. I run my fingers along the scruff on his jaw. He moans underneath my touch and turns his mouth to nip at my finger. “Ya know, I was pretty bummed that my brother was coming along. But, it looks like the little bastard may have done some good.”

  He laughs, leaning his mouth toward my ear. His voice is deep, low, sexy. As. Fuck. “You think you’re going to get lucky?”

  He nibbles my earlobe and wraps one of his arms around my waist to bring me closer. “I think I may.”

  Pushing back from me, he wraps his hand over the back of my neck. “You ready for bed?”

  God. I never thought those words would sound so sexy. “I need to use the bathroom first. Can you walk with me?”

  He nods, sliding his hand down my back to grip around my waist. I grab some toilet paper from my bag and let Tanner lead me into the woods. Mrs. Jones had mentioned we could “use the land.” I’m assuming that means use a leaf. Hell no. I don’t think anyone is that into nature to do that. Well, at least I’m not.

  It’s quiet, only the distant sound of crickets. Our feet crunch over the leaves, and it’s familiar, nice. None of this looks real. It’s all too perfect. Something bad always happens when things are too perfect.

  “Over here. Go and I’ll keep watch.”

  “From what? Bears?”

  He rolls his eyes and points toward a tree behind him. “Kids. You know my brother, I’m sure there is at least ten boys on this trip that would love to see your naked ass. Me included. Not while you’re peeing but … you get the point.”

  “Well, if you’re good…” I say, taking a few steps out of the way. I do my business, quickly. I hate peeing in the woods. Leaves and sticks always poke my ass. When I finish I fumble around in the dark, loudly, until I feel Tanner’s arm around my waist.

  “You’d make a terrible spy. You’re loud.”

  “Ha. Ha.”

  We make it back to the camp in one piece. All the kids are in their beds, and I hear the faint sound of snoring. I’m sure they’re just as tired as I am. Although, they aren’t spending their night with a hottie who wants to devour you. I giggle to myself.

  “What’s so funny?” Tanner asks.

  I shake my head.

  He tugs me harder against his side. “What’s. So. Funny,” he whispers in my ear. I can hear the laugh in his voice, but I keep my mouth closed.

  I unzip the tent, and then I feel a gentle push. “Ouch,” I say, rubbing my butt. Tanner leans in and zips the tent up around us. The tension is already boiling. I want him more than I did in his truck.

  He glances down at me, a smile tugging at his lip. “What’s. So. Funny?”

  I shake my head again and shrug.

  Stroking his jaw, he tugs at his camp shirt until he is crouching in front of me with a white undershirt on. “Well, we’ll just have to get you to talk, now won’t we?”

  Shivers attack my spine and work their way down to my toes. He eases toward me, and I lean back. He laughs, loud and deep. It’s so raw, it makes my thighs ache. He jumps down on top of me, sending my head back toward my pillow.

  “Ouch,” I mumble. “Something poked me.”

  “What is it?” he asks, helping me back up to a sitting position. Rubbing my head, I turn around and fumble across my pillow.

 
I wrap my hand around something and bring it back up to my face. I blink once, twice. Blood rushes toward my head. No. It can’t be. No. Tanner wraps his hand around my trembling fingers. “Do you know what these are?” he asks.

  I nod. “It’s…It’s…” My voice cuts off with a sob.

  Tanner sits down beside me and brings me close to his chest. “Shhh, darlin’, What is it?”

  “Zip ties. The ones”—another sob—“the same ones he tied my feet and wrist with. Pink.” My voice cracks. Who would have done this? No one knows but Tanner. He was with me the entire time. “He’s here,” I manage to croak. Breathing in short gasps, I try to keep myself from hyperventilating.

  “Aubrey, listen. He isn’t here. This is a sick joke. Does anyone else know beside me?”

  “No, no, no,” I mumble against his chest.

  Tanner trails his fingers down my neck to grip my shoulder. His eyes are bright from the moonbeams shining through the roof. “You’re going to be fine, I promise you. He’s in jail, right?”

  I nod and sniffle into the air.

  “Okay, the police would call you if he escaped. He isn’t here. This is… I don’t know who put this in here but I’ll find out. Just relax. I want you to close your eyes, lay back.”

  Tanner guides me down toward my pillow and places his elbow beside my head to keep him up. “Close your eyes. I’m gonna be here. You’re safe, Aubrey. Get some sleep.”

  I listen to him coo into my ear and let my tears run their course. The memories are raging in my head, begging to be brought to the surface. I focus on Tanner’s face until the darkness consumes me.

  ***

  The bright sunlight wakes me. It’s warm and comfortable. Stretching, I glance up and screech.

  “What is it?” Tanner’s voice. Blinking I sit up in my sleeping bag. Underneath Tanner’s eyes are black. He smiles, bringing his hand to my cheek. “You okay?”

  “Yeah, I just forgot where I was for a minute. Did you get any sleep last night?”

  He shakes his head. “No, I wanted you to feel safe. I stayed up and made sure everything was all right.”

  Well, my insides just melted into goo. “Tanner, you’re gonna be so tired—”

  He gives me an easy grin. “I’m a big dog, darlin’. Big dogs don’t need sleep.”

  Of course, Aubrey, what were you thinking? “Okay.”

  We get the camp cleaned up and the kids in line. It takes forever just to get them up. Then we have to pack everyone’s tents back up. Kill me now. The woods seem scary—even in the daylight—since last night. I try not to think about it, but how can I not? Someone put those pink zip-ties in my tent. Out of everyone’s tent, why mine? It was deliberate. Someone did this to me on purpose. But why? Who?

  Tanner makes sure all of the kids are in their cabins before he comes to mine. I’m sitting on my bed, staring blankly at the wall. After asking me what was wrong eighty times, Cassie got the hint that I didn’t want to talk, and left.

  The door opens and shuts. Tanner walks in front of me and squats. He’s holding a plate of food. “You need to eat, Aubrey.”

  I nod and point for him to place it on my nightstand.

  “Are you okay? Do you want to lay down?”

  “You should lay down. You haven’t had any sleep.”

  He scratches his jaw. “Can I lay down with you?”

  I nod. He doesn’t say a word. He slips off his boots and slides under the covers with me. His warmth envelopes my entire body, a sense of safety crashing over me. I don’t know when, but I fall back to sleep.

  Chapter Eleven

  Tanner

  “We have soccer today.”

  Blinking through heavy eyes, I glance up at Eric. I sigh. Wait. What’s that beside me? Glancing down, I see Aubrey curled into a tight ball against me. Fuck, that’s why my dick’s hard.

  “Christ,” I snap through gritted teeth. “Why are you here?”

  “Like I said, we have soccer today.”

  “It’s Monday already?” I jump up and grab my boots. Aubrey grumbles underneath her breath. “Get up, darlin’.” I shake her until she flutters her eyes opened. “We have to get ready for work.”

  She bounces up in the bed. Her hair crazy wild over her head, her lips plump—kissable, fuckable—and her T-shirt fitting tightly to her tits. “I’m up.” She disappears into her bathroom.

  Eric is smiling down at me when I turn back to my boots. “What?” I growl.

  “Country has some game. Sleeping over already? Isn’t there a southern rule about that?”

  Standing up, I knock the sideways cap off his head.

  ***

  Aubrey’s hair blows in the wind as she leans her head back against the passenger side door. Her long, tanned legs rest in my lap. Her shorts don’t leave much to the imagination, and I’m glad. This is the best view I’ve ever had in my truck.

  She reaches her arms over her head. “Do you ever just wish you could drive forever? The weather just like this, the radio up.”

  “All the time. Riding in a truck with the windows down, radio up is one of the most relaxing things ever.”

  She smiles, closing her eyes. “Swimming used to do that for me. I would swim and swim. Never thinking twice, just diving in the darkness, the feel of it sliding over me, swallowing me into its depth. I used to love that. Now, I can’t make myself want it anymore.” She sits up to face me. “It’s right in front of my face. It taunts me. I think I want it deep down, but I’m too scared to take it again. Because, what if I’m right? What if it was him last night?” Her eyes shine with possible tears. “Then he could do the same thing—catch me off guard. And if I’m thinking about that, I feel like I’m drowning when I dive in, just like before. I felt like I was being dragged back to that night.”

  Reaching over, I grab her chin with my fingers. “I won’t let that happen to you. You understand?”

  She smiles and turns to nip my fingers. She had been so scared last night. I pictured the evening going a little differently. I hadn’t thought I’d be staying up to make sure we were safe. But, I had to. I knew she wouldn’t sleep. I wouldn’t either.

  I press hard on the gas and mud starts to sling all over the road toward the lake. Aubrey yells and roots me on until we get free of the mud. When we pull up, Aubrey gets quieter, her fingers interlaced and shaking.

  “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, Aubrey.”

  “I want to.”

  I pull into the grass near the lake. It’s still early. The sun won’t be setting for a couple of more hours. The pink string of her bikini is sticking out of T-shirt. I wonder what she’s going to look like in it. I imagine it’s going to make it difficult for me to concentrate.

  We wade our way through the weeds and toward the pond. We’re not actually getting in the water today. We’re going to take a small fishing boat out in the middle. This way she can get used to the water again bit by bit.

  When we get there Aubrey stays several feet back from the water. I fist my shirt and tug it over my head. She’s checking me out. And goddamn if I don’t want her to ever stop. Tugging on her lip, she strips out of her shirt. Christ. She’s so much more composed than me. I’m sure it’s showing all over my face. And my shorts.

  The pink strings come down to perfect triangles, which barely cover her breasts. Tanned. Round. A flat stomach. My dick moves in my pants. Christ, this is going to be a long day.

  She tugs on her jeans shorts and kicks them out of the way. I cough; it’s the only thing I can think to do. If not, I’m going to rip every shred of clothing off her body and take her in the damned woods.

  “Ready?” she asks, a smile on her lips. She’s doing this on purpose. If my cheeks are red, I’m going to kick myself in the ass.

  Clearing my throat, I gesture for her to follow me. The fishing boat is tied to the dock. I tug on it till it’s close enough to get in.

  I glance back and offer my hand out to Aubrey. “Comin’?”

  Sh
e twists her hands together in front of her. “I—I’m not sure…”

  “It’s better to put one foot forward than to jump in all at once. Come on, darlin’. Trust me.”

  She slowly walks toward me. She’s staring into the water. She’s scared.

  Wrapping her shaky hand around mine, she steps into the swaying boat. Her knees tremble, but she finally sits on one of the seats. I get in after her, being sure not to sway the boat too much.

  “You okay?” I ask, unwinding the rope from the dock. She nods and glances around. It takes me a minute before I realize what she’s looking at. The woods. She’s really scared about last night. I don’t blame her. I am, too. If no one knows about it, I’m not sure who would have done it. Maybe it was an accident. But, it’s almost too coincidental.

  Sitting down in the boat, I grab the paddle on each side. They’re old wood; I’m surprised they’re still usable. I push us from the dock, and Aubrey’s fingers close around the sides of the boat. Her chest starts to move faster, her lips part taking deep breaths.

  “Look at me, Aubrey,” I say.

  Her long lashes flutter up and through watery eyes she glances at me. I hate to see her like this. But it’ll help. I know it will. “Keep your eyes on me, darlin’. You’re fine. I promise. If we fall out, which we won’t, you could probably stand up in the pond.”

  “Okay,” she whispers.

  Keeping my eyes on her, I stop us in the middle of the water. Her shoulders are still rigid, but a little tension has left. We sway in the evening wind.

  “You know you’re a lot braver than you think you are.”

  She locks her jaw. “Don’t be a smartass, Tanner,” she spits out, her hands gripping the seat beneath her.

  “I’m not. I’m serious. For you to get out here is a great step forward, Aubrey. I’m proud of you.”

  Pink rises to her cheeks. “Thanks,” she mumbles, tucking her hair behind her ear.

  She keeps glancing over the side, then snapping back to her seat.

  “Come here,” I say.

  “I can’t move.”

  Scooting to the bottom of the boat, I offer for her to do the same. She slides until her ass hits the bottom. She’s sitting facing me, her body relaxing. I can see the tension leave her shoulders. “Better?”