CRAVE (Exiled Book 2)

by Victoria Danann

  She held out a roll. He took it and said, “Thank you.”

  Dandelion secretly wondered why he remembered such things as good manners, and that he liked bacon, cinnamon rolls, and milk, but didn’t remember her. Or his parents or brother. She hoped Dr. Reising would say something like, “Oh. This is the norm in cases such as this. First cinnamon rolls. Then relationships. Nothing to worry about. Any minute the whole of history will come flooding back into his consciousness.”

  Wind blew through the small building and fanned the fire when the door opened. Cage entered, nodding to Free and Serene, with Dr. Reising behind him. She looked over the people standing around then moved closer to Crave.

  “Hello, Crave,” she said.

  “Hello,” he answered. “You the doc?”

  She smiled. “That’s me. We need to have a conversation before I can make you a free man. Is that okay with you?”

  He shrugged. “I got a choice?”

  “Not if you want out of there.”

  “Then there’s your answer.”

  She looked around. “Would a chair be too much trouble?”

  Free looked at Charming, who said, “No. We can find a chair.”

  “For him, too.” She nodded toward Crave.

  Everyone looked surprised. “We’d have to open the door to get a chair inside,” Charming said.

  She looked at Crave. “Will you agree to stay inside for the duration of my interview if I can get you a chair and make you comfortable?”

  Crave didn’t answer immediately. He stared at Dr. Reising for a full thirty seconds, perhaps trying to judge her trustworthiness as she judged his. Reaching some conclusion or other, he said, “Yes.”

  Free nodded at Charming, who made it clear by facial expression and body language that he didn’t think that was a great idea. That was the extent to which he would lodge an objection. His father was still the Extant. And there was a reason why he’d been respected and unchallenged as leader of the Exiled all of Charming’s life.

  Cage left with Charming.

  Dr. Reising turned to Free, Serene, and Dandelion. “You can stay until they return with chairs, but then you’ll need to leave while I talk privately with Crave.”

  Free cleared his throat. “All right. I’ll build up the fire so it will be warm in here. Getting colder by the minute.”

  He proceeded to bank three new logs on the coals, one that was hard wood, one that was soft wood but green, and one dry enough to catch fairly quickly.

  While he was doing that, Serene asked Dr. Reising if she’d like a tea. Dr. Reising looked at Crave. “No. Nothing for me. Thank you.”

  Cage and Charming returned with two chairs from the Commons, one with worn upholstery that could barely fit through the door of the building and one of the table chairs that could barely fit through the cell door.

  Carnal’s crew had been waiting outside. Since they’d taken on responsibility for Crave’s care, they had the keys to the cell. Having been apprised of the doctor’s decision, the entire crew stepped in and stood inside the door to insure that Crave abided by the agreement he’d made to voluntarily remain incarcerated for the duration of the interview. The little hallway was suddenly crowded with family and friends of the family.

  Dandy watched Crave looking at each and every face as if searching for someone recognizable and it fired her empathy anew when she realized what a nightmare it would be to wake up and know no one.

  Yellow eased past the spectators, pulling the keys from his pocket. “Hey there, big guy,” he said to Crave. “Glad to see you looking more like yourself. How about you take three steps back and let your little brother furnish your house?”

  When Yellow said ‘little brother’, Crave’s eyes jerked to Charming. He quickly gave Charming a once-over, then took three steps back as requested and stood motionless as the cell door was opened. He watched as Charming entered, set the chair down, and backed out. When the iron door clanked closed, the onlookers breathed a collective sigh of relief.

  Dr. Reising raised a hand toward the exit. “If you don’t mind?”

  It was a polite way of asking everyone to get out and let her do her job. They filed out, but didn’t leave. Even though the wind had become biting with cold and stung their skin, each one was prepared to stand in place until the doc rendered the verdict about where Crave would be sleeping that night.

  No one spoke. They didn’t even glance at each other. They simply waited. Stoically.

  Inside Dr. Reising pushed the upholstered chair to the exact angle and position she wanted and then sat.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  “Put your chair wherever you want, Crave. But there’s no point in having to yell at each other to be heard. Come closer.”

  He hadn’t moved from the position he’d taken up when Yellow had asked him to step back. On hearing the doctor’s suggestion, he glanced at the chair. He picked it up and moved it closer to where she was sitting so that it would be easy to imagine having a normal conversation. If it wasn’t for the fact that she was human, and that he was in jail, and that he had no fucking idea who he was.

  He sat. Then lowered his chin and waited.

  “What’s the first thing you remember?”

  “I woke up this morning. I was naked. I was in here.” He looked around to indicate the cell. “And there was a female asleep over there.” He nodded to where Dandy’s pallet had been on the floor.

  “What did you think when you saw her?”

  He held Dr. Reising’s gaze. “That she was cute sleeping like that. And that I didn’t want her to see me without my clothes.”

  “What else?”

  “I wondered what I’d done to end up in here. We don’t have places like this in Newland.”

  “So you knew you were in Newland?”

  He hesitated. “Isn’t that where I am?” She nodded. “When I stood up and looked out the window, I knew for sure. I recognize the view.”

  “Has anyone told you why you’re separated from others?”

  “The female said I was rescued and I’m… ah, not myself. Those were her words. Not myself.”

  “Do you remember what happened before you were rescued?” His face grew hard. She saw his jaw clench and unclench a couple of times before he jerked a single nod. “Before that?”

  He shook his head no.

  “So you remember being held captive by the Rautt, but you don’t remember details of your life before that.” It wasn’t a question so much as a summation of what had been established.

  He nodded.

  “Did you know your name?”

  He debated about whether or not to tell the truth, but decided to keep it simple. “No. I asked the female. She told me I’m Crave.”

  “Did any of the people who were here earlier seem familiar?” He shook his head no. She pointed to the things Dandy had collected. “How about these things? Does anything here mean something special to you?”

  “No. Nothing and no one is familiar. Nothing and no one is recognizable.”

  “But you recognize Newland by the view out the window.”

  “Yes.”

  Dr. Reising could see that Crave was beginning to get a little agitated.

  “Let’s talk about something else. Do you remember what you did before you were captured?”

  Crave’s eyes darted around like he was searching for a memory. “Sort of. I think I was a fighter.”

  “Why do you think that?”

  “I think I have memories of training exercises. Drills. And scrimmages.” In his mind he saw flashes of mock battles with his peers, but their faces weren’t clear.

  She nodded. “Did any of the people who were here talk about your relationship to them?”

  “The female told me the scarred woman is my mother and the tall man is my father. I learned I have a brother when this chair was brought in.”

  “How did that make you feel?”

  “Like they expect something from me that I can’t give.”
/>   “That’s understandable. Do you think you want to remember?”

  He cocked his head to the side. “I don’t know about that. I know I want to get out of here.”

  “Let’s talk about that then. If you walked out of here today, what do you imagine you’d do with your freedom?”

  “What are my options?”

  Dr. Reising laughed and Crave liked the sound of it. He hadn’t seen a person smile since he woke up.

  “That’s a good question,” she said. “Since I don’t live here, I don’t know the answer.”

  “I had bacon and cinnamon rolls. The woman with the scars made them and brought them earlier.”

  “Did you ask for that?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Why do you think you asked for that?”

  “I guess I liked it. Before.”

  Dr. Reising nodded. “I suspect you did.” She looked at Crave for a few beats and seemed to make up her mind about something. “Your people went to war to get you back, Crave. Your mind and body had experienced too much stress while you were captive and you snapped. They built this facility to keep you safe and keep others safe from you.”

  “You’re saying I was crazy.”

  “I wouldn’t put it like that, but yes.”

  “How long?”

  “It’s been almost three months.” She paused to let that sink in before she continued. “There are people here who love you very much. There are others who have known you all your life. They’re not going to understand that you don’t know them. Do you think you can live with that?”

  “Is there an alternative?”

  “Not at the moment.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means that matters of the mind are tricky. You may never get your memory back. You may get bits and pieces as time goes on. Or one day, for no apparent reason, it could all be restored in an instant. I wish I could tell you something more conclusive, but that’s all I got.”

  He smiled at the sudden casualness of her speech. “Thank you for telling me the truth.”

  She’d been carefully evaluating Crave’s body language, facial expression, and every aspect of verbal communication for clues to his stability.

  “I’m satisfied that you should be reintroduced into Exiled society, but I’d like you to go slow. Whenever, if ever, you begin feeling overwhelmed, I need your promise that you will extricate yourself from that situation and return to a place where you feel in control. Like a room of your own where people won’t bother you. I’ll instruct your family to make sure you have such a place.”

  He nodded. “Does that mean you’re letting me go?”

  She smiled. “You’re a free man on one condition. I want to have conversations with you twice a week for a while. Will you agree to that?”

  Crave grinned. “Small price to pay, doc.”

  She rose from her chair. “Wait here while I have a brief talk with the people waiting outside. Then someone will be in to let you go.”

  He smirked. “Wait here?” Each hand grasped a vertical iron bar on either side of his body. “Don’t think I’m going anywhere.”

  Dr. Reising smiled again. Every time Crave spoke she was more convinced that lock-up was no longer in his best interest. She hoped she wasn’t wrong because a powerful creature like Crave could potentially do a lot of damage.

  When she emerged from the recently constructed Newland jail, the little crowd outside gathered around her, eager for her evaluation.

  She pulled her long sweater tighter and wished she’d brought something heavier. She couldn’t help but notice that, either the Exiled weren’t as sensitive to the biting wind or they did a better job of covering their discomfort.

  She looked to Free. “Can we go someplace out of the wind to talk for a minute?”

  Free looked surprised by the question, but quickly recovered the in-control expression he usually wore. He looked at Cage. “Will you stay back? I’ll catch you up after.”

  Cage nodded and didn’t look the least bothered about being tagged for guard duty.

  “Let’s go to my house,” Free said to the others.

  Ten people crowded into the kitchen. Serene put two kettles on the stove to heat for tea. She was good at listening while she busied herself with tasks and knew she wouldn’t miss anything by offering hospitality.

  Six people sat at the table, while the others either stood or helped get cups for tea. Free gave Dr. Reising his usual seat at the end of the table.

  “Thank you,” she said. “I know you’re eager for news and I apologize for making you wait. The take-away is this. Except for his selective recall, he’s doing very well. Judging from what you’ve told me about the trauma, which we haven’t yet begun to address, I’m pleased with the progress.”

  The steam kettles whistled, one right after the other. While Joy and Serene began filling cups, Dr. Reising continued. Serene set the extra cinnamon rolls that she’d made earlier in the middle of the table. Charming and Carnal’s crew practically dove for them.

  Clearly entertained by the scuffle, Reising waited for it to be over and then said, “First, I’m going to want to see him twice a week, partly to monitor progress and partly to draw him out about the experience with the Rautt. I told him it was a condition of release and he agreed.”

  “Why do you need to do that?” Serene asked as she poured tea for the doctor. “Wouldn’t it be better for him to not remember?”

  “I can see why you’d think that,” she said. “It seems logical. But the fact that he’s not actively recalling doesn’t mean those memories are gone. They’re temporarily hidden from his consciousness, just under the surface, but they’re still there.”

  She took a sip of tea.

  “Hmmm. This is good. Thank you. Look at it like this. It’s like having an infection. We don’t want to wait for it to fester underneath the skin. We want to force it to the surface so we can lance the boil and release the pus.”

  Though Exiled weren’t known for being squeamish, that image caused both Easy and Yellow to stop chewing and look at the rolls in their hands like they’d just become unappetizing.

  “If one or more of those memories surfaced without warning, it could be dangerous to the people around him.” Everyone in the room fell silent, considering that.

  Dandy’s quiet voice pierced the heavy atmosphere from where she stood in the corner, arms folded in front of her mid-section. “He has dreams,” she said. “Bad dreams.”

  Dr. Reising nodded. “Not surprising. So I guess the question is for you.” Her eyes moved around the room. “It’s a double-bind situation. Releasing him is not without risk to the community, but I don’t think he’ll progress very fast being kept in confinement.

  “If you decide you’re willing to take the risk, he definitely needs to be restricted to Newland. For now.”

  There was no sound in the room as Dr. Reising let that challenge hang in the air while she took another sip of tea and eyed the empty platter where cinnamon rolls had been.

  Serene picked up on that and said, “Oh. Would you like a cinnamon roll? I can make more and they’ll be ready in, ah, half an hour?”

  Reising smiled. “Maybe next time. They did smell divine, but I need to finish up here and get back to the city. Duty calls.”

  Free spoke up. “You said ‘first’. What’s second?”

  “This one is tricky. I don’t even know if it’s possible to get the cooperation of an entire community in keeping a secret, but ideally, I think it would be best for Crave if he remembers his brother’s death and his mother’s, ah, injury on his own. Without prompting. If that’s too much to ask, we’ll deal with it, but in a perfect world, he shouldn’t have to confront that until he’s strong enough psychologically.”

  Free looked at her like she’d just said something outrageous. “A perfect world,” he repeated, as if she’d just claimed the cow jumped over the moon. He looked at Serene then Charming and at each of Carnal’s crew, one by one. They no
dded assent. “We’re going to have to keep him in the cell until everybody can be notified, but it shouldn’t take long. Charming, you go to the city and make sure the word’s been passed to everybody working down there.” He looked at Carnal’s crew. “You know what to do. In thirty minutes we’re opening the cell. Get it done.”

  They nodded and headed for the front door on a mission to make sure every Newland resident was an active participant in the conspiracy of silence.

  Crave stood with cat-like stillness, listening for any sound that would indicate someone was approaching the door, coming to deliver good news or bad. There was a chair nearby, but he was too anxious to sit.

  He had no idea what he would do with freedom once he had it. He just knew he wanted two things: out and choices. If he got out, he’d sort through the choices. All he heard, for what seemed like a very long time, were sounds of popping from logs releasing moisture as they burned, and the relentless wind coming in gusts from the south. Beyond the bars he could see that even the window glass rippled at the force of the gale.

  He could read disappointment on the faces of the strangers who claimed to have ties to him, but he couldn’t manage to feel bad about it. They were all just strangers. Faces he’d never seen before and, frankly, none of them looked like people he would seek out and choose to get to know better.

  He didn’t really want to agree to meet with that human doctor twice a week either, but it was a relatively small price to pay for freedom.

  His head jerked in the direction of the door, eyes focused on the latch as it was pulled upward to admit someone from outside. Who would it be?

  It was the male identified as his father, Free. And he had a key in his hand.

  “Crave,” he said in his deep gravelly voice, “you’re free with a couple of conditions. For now you stay on Exiled property and you meet with Dr. Reising two times every week. Give me your word and I’m opening the door.”

  “I agree.”

  Free inserted the key into the large, heavy-duty lock and turned. When he pulled, the door opened outward. Then he took a step back.

  “We have a place for you to stay. No expectations.”