CRAVE (Exiled Book 2)

by Victoria Danann

  Charming set his mug down, put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. “Go ahead and let it out. It’s okay to mourn for what you lost. You’ve been loyal, done everything you could. A lot more than most would. You need to look after yourself first for a change.”

  When she stopped sniffling, she sat up. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean that I hope Crave’s memories come back. I want my brother. My parents want their son. You want your Promise. His friends want to see recognition in his eyes again. But just in case that doesn’t happen, you need to figure out what else you want to do.”

  Dandy wiped the humiliating wetness from her face. “You can go, Charming. You don’t have to sit with me.”

  He grinned. “I’m not here because I have to be.” He brushed a lock of white-blonde hair behind her ear. “I like you. I always have. I always thought Crave was lucky to claim you before all the other males realized how special you are.”

  “Stop it,” she said. “The only thing special about me was that I belonged to Crave.”

  “Nothing could be further from the truth, Dandy. You and Crave were lucky to find each other early and know what you wanted, but now you need to step back and reevaluate. You have a lot to offer.” He laughed. “Case in point. The Commons almost fell down around Scar’s ears while you were away. But maybe there’s something else you’d like to do. When we move to Farsuitwail, it will open up a lot of opportunities for someone smart like you.”

  She angled her head toward him. “Like what?”

  Charming smiled. “Come visit me down in the city tomorrow. Everybody here needs to start thinking about how different things are going to be. Not just interacting with humans every day, but also, we’re not going to be warrior-protectors anymore. Some of us maybe. But most of us will need to integrate into other kinds of jobs.”

  “I can’t just leave tomorrow without getting someone to cover for me.”

  “Serene might do it if she’s not busy.”

  Dandy’s eyes got big. “Leader’s mate doing my job? I don’t think so.”

  “You make it sound like the work is too lowly for her. She wouldn’t think so. She’s not like that. She likes serving people. That’s why they always have meetings at the Extant’s house.”

  “It is? I always thought it was because it was big enough.”

  He laughed. “Maybe that’s part of it. How about day after tomorrow?”

  She looked around and took a deep breath. “Okay.”

  “Good!” He grinned. “Now let me walk you to your house.”

  She shook her head. “Staying here.”

  “Dandy.”

  “Just one more night.”

  He hesitated. “Okay. One more night.”

  “You really haven’t seen him?”

  “I heard he moved into the spare room at the back of the Bike Barn. Doesn’t even have heat, which means he must have really wanted to get away from us bad. Haven’t seen him myself. But I leave early, get back late, fall in bed, and do the same the next day.”

  “Except for tonight?”

  “Like I said, you’re special.” She smiled then yawned.

  “Okay. Going now.”

  “Thank you.”

  He kissed her on the temple.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Crave had moved out of the Extant’s house and into an extra room that no one was using at the back of the Bike Barn. He didn’t bother to tell his parents he was leaving. He couldn’t seem to make himself see them as anything but strangers who made him feel uncomfortable. They were always looking at him with expectation, obviously hoping for some change, something he couldn’t give. He knew they’d be disappointed about him leaving, although his heart couldn’t relate to why. He also knew that leaving without saying anything was cowardly, but in his heart, he didn’t feel like he owed them anything.

  So he had a little room with nothing in it but a single bed, a low table, and a chair that had seen much better days. There was no hearth so he piled on blankets to stay warm enough to sleep. When he wasn’t sleeping, he was out doing other stuff. Mostly mechanical stuff.

  He’d always liked fooling around with the bikes, but mechanics jobs had gone to people who weren’t warriors. He’d always wished he wasn’t good at fighting so that he could work on bikes instead of training. Patrolling. Training. Patrolling.

  He didn’t recall those feelings. His mind kept him firmly rooted to the present. And in the present, he knew he wanted to work on bikes.

  The head mechanic had told him that he’d let him know when there was a job. Meanwhile, during the day he hung around the Bike Barn and watched. At night he sat at a table by himself in the back of the Commons and people-watched while he drank.

  When someone approached him, he was polite but curt, and made it clear he wasn’t up for talking about old times. He found that, if he said hello then turned away, people got the message.

  One night Easy came in after helping out with the building in Farsuitwail for three days straight. At the door he stomped his boots as if that would leave the dust at the door. He hadn’t been to Newland since the day Crave was released and was happy to see him standing at the bar waiting for a full tankard.

  He approached Crave from behind and gave him an affectionate slap on the back as he opened his mouth to say, “How’s life as a free man?” He never got a chance to voice that question. He was too busy scrambling backward as Crave lunged for him with bared fangs and a snarl that was clearly sincere.

  Crave took in Easy’s surprised look and raised hands and realized he’d reacted on an instinct that came from a mental state originating outside the walls of Newland. He looked around. Everybody had stopped what they were doing and were staring.

  “Sorry, man,” said Easy. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

  Crave’s heartrate had leveled out. He just shook his head and walked out of the Commons, leaving people to think what they wanted. He went back to his room, sat on the bed, and pulled the blankets around him. Strangely enough he thought about that female. The one who’d been sleeping on the floor. The first thing he remembered seeing when he woke up in that cell.

  She had pretty eyes that had searched his face like she was looking for something in his soul. For the first time he wondered why she’d been sleeping on the floor of the jail. He hadn’t asked and no one had said anything. What had she said her name was? He didn’t remember, but there was nothing new about that.

  The next afternoon some youngster came to the Bike Barn to find him and let him know the human doctor was waiting for him at the Extant’s house. Crave walked up the hill and found her sitting in the living room looking at something connected to a band around her wrist.

  “It’s just us,” she said. “You can talk openly. No one else will ever know what you say to me.”

  He wasn’t sure he could believe that, but also didn’t know that it mattered what people were told. People only care about hiding things when they care what others think. Since he knew no one and had no relationships, he had no reason to care what others thought, but he had learned that he didn’t like to be the center of attention as he had been in the Commons when he’d had an adverse reaction to being touched without warning.

  “Okay.”

  He shrugged and sat down in the overstuffed chair. She’d taken a seat on the couch, purposefully leaving the big chair for him in hopes that it would help him relax. It was deep comfortable. It also faced away from the wall so that his back would feel protected. Her instincts as a therapist informed her that he would be more focused if he was sure nothing was going on behind him.

  “So. How’s it going?”

  “Okay.” He looked her in the eye, but didn’t add anything.

  She smiled. “I was told you’ve moved out. Where are you sleeping?”

  “Got a little room at the back of the Bike Barn. I don’t think they ever intended that somebody would live there. It might have been added as a place for males to go when their ma
tes get pissed and throw them out.”

  She laughed. “Does that happen often?”

  Crave repeated that question in his mind and found that he knew the answer. “No. Exiled males are attentive to mates. If they’re not welcome at home, hard ale is usually involved.”

  Dr. Reising nodded. “What are you doing with your time?”

  “Not much. I guess the recent changes kind of mean I’m out of a job.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I used to be a warrior. I existed to protect humans from the Rautt. The Rautt are gone. So is my job.”

  “I see. How do you feel about that?”

  “It’s a good thing. I don’t know how I know this, but I think I wanted to work on motorcycles.”

  “Is there some reason why you can’t do that now?”

  “Yeah. They have enough mechanics and don’t need any more.”

  She nodded, looking thoughtful. “So, when you say you’re not doing much with your time, how exactly are you spending your days?”

  “I watch the mechanics in the Bike Barn. I eat. I drink. I sleep.”

  “Why did you move out?” She looked around the room. “This is a nice house.”

  He stared at the woman and blinked slowly while mulling over what to tell and what not to tell. In the end he decided on a half-truth that omitted the fact that he didn’t like waking in the night to sweats and terrors, voice raw from screaming, and knowing that the entire household had heard it. “It wasn’t because of the house.” That was certainly true. Who, in their right mind, would want to move away from a large comfortable room with a large comfortable bed and the heady aromas of comfort food constantly wafting up from the kitchen below, to live in a drafty spare room with no heat and a cot? “It was because of the people in it.”

  “Go on.”

  “They want something I can’t give.”

  Dr. Reising nodded, looking at him like she was hoping to read his mind. He knew somebody once who was so good at detecting lies that he could almost read minds, but he couldn’t remember who.

  “Have you had any reactions that might be windows into the past you don’t recall? Any impressions?”

  “Hard to say. I know my way around Newland. I remember things like bike mechanics. I remember what I do and don’t like to eat.” His face broke into a grin. “I remember how to swim.”

  She looked interested. “You went swimming? In this cold weather?”

  She was a doctor first, but a woman second. And she couldn’t help but appreciate the way a smile transformed his face to sardonically beautiful.

  “Yeah. There’s a waterfall up higher on the mountain. It falls into a pool that’s really cold at this time of year. Anyway I remembered the way and for some reason I wanted to hike up there. I know I’m supposed to stick close to the settlement, but it’s the opposite direction of the human city.”

  “Farsuitwail,” she corrected.

  “Yeah. So I went up there. It’s nice. Pretty.”

  “Any idea why it called to you?”

  He narrowed his eyes. “I didn’t say it ‘called’ to me.”

  “No. You’re right. You didn’t. You just wanted to go for a swim.”

  “That’s right.”

  “So you remember bike mechanics, how to swim, what you like to eat, and you know your way around Newland. Anything else?”

  “I don’t like to talk to people.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Because they know me, but I don’t know them. If there was someplace else to go, I’d leave. Start over. You know?”

  She nodded because she did understand that impulse and thought that most people, given the same circumstances, would have the same reaction.

  “Your people are moving down to the valley soon. Things are changing. If you continue doing as well as you’re doing, you’ll be cleared to move about in society as you please. If you still feel the same way then, you can start over.”

  “With humans?” His eyebrows had risen as he expressed complete incredulity.

  She laughed. “We’re not so bad.”

  He looked dubious and said, “Maybe,” just so as not to be insulting. He thought the doc was okay for a human, but he didn’t want to live with them.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Dandy put all of Crave’s personal things in boxes and left them on the porch of the Extant’s house. She took the wind chime and pink rock back to her own room at her parents’ house.

  She sat on the side of her bed for an hour holding the wind chime, trying to decide what to do with it. The leather knot was aged and worn from the elements. Over the years Crave had taken it down and done repairs twice. Thinking about the way he paid attention to such details was bittersweet. In the end she decided to rehang it, thinking that doing away with the props that were the backdrop to her life didn’t make those parts of her life go away. She was still Dandy, the female who was named Dandelion by her parents then claimed and renamed by Crave.

  She leaned out of the window. The hook was rusty, but it would hold. There wasn’t much wind, but Crave had designed the wind chime so that it didn’t take much wind for the device to make its own kind of music. She closed the window and stood back, wondering what he was doing and thinking it was for the best that she wasn’t seeing him around.

  Like always, she went to work early and finished early afternoon.

  As agreed, she asked Scar for the day off the next day to go down to the city for a look at what Charming was up to.

  “Need the day off tomorrow,” she’d said.

  “I just got you back! No!” Scar sounded pretty adamant.

  “I’ve worked for you for years and never took off except for when Rosie was here and then you never knew I was gone.”

  “Yeah. She was almost as good as you. But she’s not here. You are and I’m having it stay that way.”

  Dandy laughed. “You can’t fume and bluster into getting your way, Scar.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I’ve worked for you for too long. Try that on people who don’t know you as well. It’ll work for a while. Until you either run them off or they figure out you’re not as scary as you want people to think.”

  He pulled himself up to his full impressive height. “Yes, I am.”

  She smiled and waved dismissively. “Whatever. You don’t have to pay me.”

  “Pay you?”

  “Yes. That’s what humans do. When somebody works for them, they get paid.”

  “You mean money?” He was incredulous.

  “That is what I mean. Yes. When we move, you’re going to have to pay people to work for you. Don’t you listen to people talk?”

  “Then I’m not moving down to the city.”

  “No one’s going to force you. You can stay up here by yourself.” He slumped onto a bar stool and pouted. “But look at it this way. If you open a bar in the city and call it Exiled, humans will come out of curiosity and bring money.”

  “They will?”

  “Matter of fact. Forget I said that. I may do it myself.”

  “Wait a minute. If anybody is opening a bar in the city, it will be me.”

  She smiled and shook her head. “Okay. I’m going down there tomorrow. On my day off. Maybe I’ll scout locations for you.”

  He seemed to consider that. “Maybe it is a good idea for you to go see what’s going on down there. Find a place where humans would want to come and bring money.”

  “If you insist.”

  He grunted and disappeared into the kitchen.

  Dandy found that she was looking forward to her trip to Farsuitwail. It had been a long time since she’d looked forward to anything and the emotion felt a little like clothes that didn’t fit right.

  On the way back to her parents’ house after work, she’d passed Serene, who stopped to say hello.

  “How are you, Dandelion?” she’d asked.

  Dandy evaded the question altogether. “Charming’s taking me down to the city tomorrow
. He mentioned that you might cover for me at the Commons? If you’re not busy?”

  Serene grinned, showing her fangs. “You know, that actually sounds like fun. And I would do it if I wasn’t already committed, but I’m leaving for the Rautt village tonight. I’ve been supervising the construction of the orphanage and school.”

  Dandy cocked her head. She’d been at the battle and knew that they hadn’t killed the children, but she’d never given it another thought because of the tumultuous events that layered one after another.

  “Why did you leave them there?”

  “Hmmm. Partly because of Dr. Reising. She overheard me talking to someone when we were still deciding what to do. She said that young children are more damaged by a change of place than personnel. She meant family and other people they knew. She said, if we could work it out, it would be easier on them if we left them on the other side of the barrens until they get used to us.”

  “Till they get used to us? How long does that take?”

  “I don’t know. A year. Or two.”

  “Are they just like us?”

  “Can’t say just yet. It will take some time, some soap, and some education to figure that out.”

  “Huh.”

  “I’m going to make dinner for Free and Charming. You want to come?”

  She studied the ruined face of the woman who gave birth to her Promise. “You’ve always been so kind to me, Serene.”

  “Don’t be silly. It’s not hard to love someone who loves your child. Come to dinner.”

  Shaking her head she said, “Some other time if that’s all right. But thank you. It’s nice to be asked.”

  “Consider yourself always invited. Just walk in any night at dinner time. You don’t even need to knock on the door.”

  Serene surprised Dandy by rushing in for a hug. “Nothing will ever change the way we feel about you.”

  The gesture of affection caused emotion to catch in Dandy’s throat so that she couldn’t find voice to answer. Serene seemed to understand that. She gave her a final pat, turned and walked away.