BOMAW 4-6

by Mercedes Keyes

  "Mama be fair!"

  "I am being fair! I wonder does he even care, after the things he did against her! That man cares only about himself if he'll do the things he did to Shawn!"

  "Mama... they made up! Jake was working hard to help Shawn with your house!"

  "Excuse me... but I'd rather pay too much money to a stranger! I didn't ask him to do anything for me! Or to work on my house!"

  "Mama why you hatin' on him!?"

  "I don't trust him. Its as simple as that! He reminds me of a sly slithering snake! I'm telling you now, if I'd been willing to go to bed with him, knowing that I'm pregnant with his brother's child... he would have been all over me. JUST - mind you... to hurt Shawn! Not because he would have cared anything about me!"

  "I LIKE UNCLE JAKE!" Isaac yelled from the back seat.

  "Shit." Sylvia mumbled low having forgotten he was in the back seat and obviously wide awake and listening to every word. "Boy aren't you sleepy? Take a nap." Sylvia instructed. "I ain' sleepy grandma." Isaac returned.

  She sighed as Crystal shook her head and they both started talking low, as if that would help.

  "Sheila likes him too." Crystal pointed out.

  "So I've heard."

  "And Dennis..."

  "I've heard..."

  "Give'im a break mama - don't be like that. Last I heard he had to spend a night in jail over it."

  "Em hm." Was Sylvia's only reply.

  "Mama-a-a."

  "Look... I'll believe that man has changed, when I see that man has changed. The fact is, that woman was pushed to the edge and she killed herself. And he - wasn't worth it! Hell, for that matter, ain't no man worth killing yourself over. No man!" She repeated emphatically.

  They made it to La Crosse and went to the riverside park, but it was overcast and looking like it might rain, so ended up going to McDonald's with an indoor play area instead. Taking the boys inside. Darren had fallen asleep and still was, Crystal laid him across her lap as she and her mother were finally able to talk with Isaac having a ball in the play area.

  "Okay...now, what's going on with you and Victor? I know its something to do with him." Sylvia opened after coming to the table with food for them and the boys.

  "I did something really stupid last night. You're not gonna like it."

  "What?"

  "I snuck by his parents house and peaked in their window and saw him sitting in the dinning room talking with this white girl - or lady... whatever."

  "Why you do that?" Sylvia asked disgruntled.

  "Mama... I was hearing all this stuff that he was seen with this chick. So... I went and checked it out. Sure enough, there they were."

  "Were they just talking? Or doing something more intimate?"

  "At the time, just talking. But he lied to me when I finally went to the house, he didn't know that I knew she was in there. I couldn't believe it. I know I'm wrong for what I've done to us... but I never cheated on him. The thing is, I know his mom is behind it all. She hates my guts. She told me there would be a divorce and when its final - to stay away from her home and her son."

  "She said what?!"

  "Yep... she referred to me as a disease that had a cure."

  "A disease!? Who the hell does she think she is?! You know what... I never liked her, she never liked me. We have said little to each other since you two married, but I'm gone give her a piece of my mind!"

  "Mama don't! Just leave it alone, its bad enough now."

  "You know what baby, I'm gonna tell you something. I have spent too much of my life, biting my tongue. Not telling people what they deserved to hear from me. I have always tried to be a peace keeper. I have always tried to do the right thing. I will continue to try to do the right thing, but she - she gone hear from me... whether you think she should or not! A disease! And what did Victor say when she referred to you as that?!"

  "He didn't hear her, she said that when she came to the door, he didn't know I was there yet."

  "Let me tell you something my daughter... do not - do not do that again! You don't have to sneak, and peek, and snoop around no - man! Father of your children or not! Yes, you've done your wrong... now make that right with yourself! To hell with him... sitting up - chit chatting with some chick! I'm gone give him a piece of my mind too!"

  "Ah mama, come on now... don't do that!"

  "Girl you might as well keep that to yourself! I'm telling you now... we gone leave here. You gone get that car! You gone get your ass to a counsellor... and if you need me to go with you, then I will... but you gone do that! In the car, I got a box of stuff I want you to start taking today! I want you taking it every single day from now on! As for Victor - obviously, there are other things going on besides your temper and attacking him. He needs to sort that out with himself... but you - you not gonna be kissing his ass! You admitted to being wrong, and now... you gonna do something about it... not - for him - but for yourself and then for your boys! With him doing that - your babies are your first priority now! You understand me!? You are not going to be de-valuing yourself because you have a problem that is more my fault - than anyone's! You hear me?!"

  "Yes mama."

  "Now you wipe that sorry look off your face! Stand your butt erect and tall... regain your dignity and self-respect, because baby, you alone are worth more than a hundred ofhim! Who the hell does he think he is... done piss me off now! Give me a bad ass attitude! Let's go... we going to get your car! You need some money?"

  "No... he gave me money when he dropped the boys back with me this weekend."

  "Good... now let's go get your car."

  Chapter 94

  Shawn knew why it was happening, but that didn't make it any easier to deal with. He would be able to cope so much better if his wife were there. Something about her being absent in the midst of it all, made him feel overwhelmed. Everyone was talking all at once. They hadn't contacted his dad yet, so Bart hadn't heard from Gert since that morning. It was coming down to the wire where someone was going to have to call him and tell him what was going on. He didn't understand how all of a sudden, his entire family was in his lap. In truth, that wasn't the problem, the problem was, that he was home - but his wife wasn't. He could deal with anything that came at him as long as he could look up and see her in the room. The house was vacant of her, which was part of her, the make up of her, the place where he found her. She was not there!

  While trying to listen to everyone, hear what they were all saying, he was thinking about all the things he now felt he had to do.

  He had to go to the school and get Angela back in - he'd have to do that alone.

  He had to get Mundo sorted out with his school loans and make sure he was registered.

  He had to get Shanna's lot set up and cleared because they would be delivering her mobile home next week.

  They'd returned and found that his truck was parked but no Crystal or the boys in sight, he wondered where she was?

  She needed to make an appointment for counselling.

  He had an appointment for counselling with Angela.

  He was trying to remember when Sylvia's next gyne appointment was?

  He had this house to finish and get ready for the bed and breakfast, determined to get it done.

  He had the home they would all be living in to get underway - the reconstruction and expansion of it to do.

  Men to interview and hire.

  His brother was a broken mess.

  Jake had no home.

  No vehicle.

  And he was waiting for everyone to shut up so he could find out what insurance he had to make a claim on some of it.

  Kathy Ann was getting on his nerves. She was hyped and angry and talking about retaliating against Doris' family for destroying Jake's home and truck, talking loud, and acting like a Harley biker dame ready to seek, beat and destroy.

  Jake was lollygagging about calling the police and filing a report about his destroyed property.

  His mother was trying to talk over the ot
hers.

  He had a headache.

  He was tired.

  He needed some sleep.

  He needed his wife.

  He needed his peaceful home back to the way it was... when it had been just the two of them. Him and Sylvia.

  Derrick was raising his voice getting mad at Kathy Ann because she was acting like common trailer trash, and he sat trying to bite his tongue not to agree.

  'How could you leave me here alone with all these crazy ass people? How could you?'

  Shawn looked up and across the basement and found Mundo standing against the far wall watching in disbelief. Shawn shook his head, stood up and barked at the top of his voice.

  "SHUT - UP!!! EVERYBODY!!! SHUT UP! KATHY ANN... DON'T SAY ANOTHER WORD... NOT ONE MORE - I MEAN IT!!!" He bellowed taking charge of the situation. He looked at her, and said very directly. "Go home! You have a husband and two kids... go home!"

  She started to say something, he could see it in her eyes. "Please... don't say anything... just go home."

  She snatched up her jacket and made her way out the basement door slamming it. "Derrick... you too... go home - we'll handle things from here. But its too much man! I'm getting a headache... when it gets all sorted out, I'll be calling first thing. Really... please."

  Derrick understood, he had been on the verge of leaving anyway, Kathy Ann got on his nerves when she started acting like She Hulk! "Hey... no problem, I understand." He went to Jake who was leaning back on the sofa with one arm crossed over his midsection and his other arm bent, with his hand pinching the bridge of his nose. "Jake... you know how to reach me if you need anything. I'll be here okay?"

  "Yeah... thanks... see you later."

  Derrick hugged him tight and then went to his mother doing the same.

  "Call me mom if you need anything."

  "Okay son... thank you for being here for him."

  "Of course I would be." He walked past Mundo, squeezing his arm and winking at him, "Take care of them." He mouthed for Mundo only, who nodded that he would and Derrick departed.

  "Mom, Shanna... Jake needs clothes. Dad needs to know that we're back. He also needs to know what's going on before someone else tells him."

  "Yeah... you're right son." Gert stated, so glad that the other's were gone, the sound volume and disorder was getting to her, she was glad for the peace and quiet restored. She went to Jake, sat next to him. "What do you want to do? You wanna stay here with your brother? Or you want to come home with me?"

  "I can't deal with dad right now. Shawn... you mind?"

  "Of course not. You're welcome here as long as you need to be."

  "Well... I don't know how long I'm going to be here, but I know I can't deal with dad right now. He's gonna go off on one... I just know it."

  "Let me worry about your father. You need some time to get your thoughts sorted out and know your next move." Gert stated, leaning forward she hugged him and kissed his forehead. "I love you son... no matter what... you know that don't you?"

  "I know momma. Thank you - for everything." Jake hugged her back tightly.

  She stood and went to Shawn, stroking his arm as she stared up at him. "One day at a time son. One day at a time." She stated with emphasis. "Come on Shanna, we need to get home, unpack, then go shopping for your brother."

  Shanna was hugging Jake at the moment, and whispering to him. "When my place is here, there will be plenty of room in it for you and I. That will give you some time to think of what you'd like to do... okay?" She kissed his cheek and hugged him. He held her for a moment. "Thank you, I may have to take you up on that."

  "I'd be more than glad, because you're more than welcome."

  She stood and hugged Shawn, "You poor thing. Its never ending for you... is it?"

  "I'll be alright... you guys best get going."

  They departed saying their goodbyes to Mundo last.

  "Mundo... where the hell is Crystal?"

  "I'on know man." He shrugged, answering as he walked from the wall towards Shawn.

  "Did she say she was going any where after school?"

  "Nope... she ain't say nothing to me."

  "Can you go check the house, see if she left a note or something. Where would she be without transportation?"

  "I'll check and see. Be back in a minute." He answered leaving out of the basement door.

  Angela was upstairs and unpacking, tired, she laid on her bed and went straight to sleep.

  Shawn went and sat on the sofa next to his brother.

  "Jake... you can't just sit here man and do nothing. You have to get moving. You need to call the police, report your home being burned down and your truck destroyed so you can file an insurance claim." Shawn said right away.

  "I didn't have home owners insurance because it was just a used, older, mobile home. As for the truck, I only had liability."

  "Fucking hell! Jake!? What the hell are you gonna do man?"

  "Shawn... what do you want me to do? I'll just work and start over. That's all I can do. Why call the police? I know who did it... but filing a report against them isn't going to change anything. Its not gonna bring my stuff back and it sure is hell isn't going to bring Doris back to life. I lost a pile of shit. They lost their sister, mother, daughter. They have to live with their loss, I have to live with mine." He said simply. Calm and unstirred by it.

  Shawn looked away letting go of a deep breath as he wiped his hand over his face.

  "You need to shower and dress. There's a shower and bathroom right off of the kitchenette other there, I'll get you something to put on." Shawn stood, Jake leaned forward and unfolded his tall body, standing and went through the small kitchenette, by the laundry room to the small bathroom where there was just enough room for a toilet, shower stall, and sink, and a small linen hutch filled with clean towels, soap, shampoo and other toiletries. Jake noticed how very nicely decorated it was. He smiled, "Lady, you do have taste." He said out loud about Sylvia. Then his mind went from her to Vivian. He sighed shaking his head. His conscience pricked him, making him feel guilty for thinking of her when Doris had just killed herself.

  He stripped off the white overalls, stepped out of his underwear and turned on the shower. Stepping into the stall, he stood under the spray of water letting it wash down over him. With his hands braced against the back wall beneath the shower, he stood with the top of his head directly beneath the water and didn't move for moments. His mind going nuts as it whirled and flashed back and forth between Doris right before she pulled the trigger, and Vivian - standing at the door waiting for him to leave. Tears running down her face, the words she said, still vivid as he remembered them. "Screw all you motha'fucka's! You all alike! - You aren't any better than he is! He slithered out! You slithering in and it's all gone turn out the same!" ~ "...it's all gone turn out the same!" ~ {{ The gun shot - BANG!!!}} ~ "...it's all gone turn out the same!" ~ {{ The gun shot - BANG!!!}} ~ "...it's all gone turn out the same!" ~ {{ The gun shot - BANG!!!}} ~ "...it's all gone turn out the same!" ~ {{ The gun shot - BANG!!!}} ~ "...it's all gone turn out the same!" ~ {{ The gun shot - BANG!!!}} ~ "...it's all gone turn out the same!" Over and over and over and over... in sequence, Vivian's words, the spray of blood and Doris falling back to the floor.

  Like a broken record.

  Shawn stood at the bathroom door holding in his hand, underwear, a shirt and running pants, listening to his brother's sobs over the shower they were so deep and hard. He turned beside the door leaning against the wall next to it and felt every one of his sobs, his own eyes filling with tears.

  "God up in heaven... how did we get here? How in the world did we get to where we are now?" He prayed wondering. He knocked on the door.

  "Yeah!" Jake called out with a gravelly broken voice.

  "Can I come in?"

  "Yeah. Doors - not locked."

  Shawn opened the door and came in, laying the clothes on the toilet seat lid.

  "Jake... you got to get past it man... you gotta find a way to
get past it."

  "I killed her man... just as sure as if I'd taken the gun and shot her myself." He said from within the shower.

  "Jake look... you have to take on board, your wrongs done. No denying that... so don't. But - its up to each and everyone of us, to make a choice in how we're going to take and handle what other people do to us. Jake... Doris is not the only woman on earth, that's been done wrong by a man. You know that! She didn't kill herself because of what you did to her, she killed herself for allowing herself to be a fool for you, and not being able to live with it. People should not make for themselves, a life they cannot live with. She put herself there Jake. Regardless of your part in it... she was not forced."

  "But she's dead Shawn... how the hell do I live with that?!"

  "One day at a time my brother... one day at a time. You may not like to hear it, but mom is right - her suffering is over. Anyway... the clothes are here. I'm gonna pull the sofa bed out for you, lay down and get some sleep." Shawn left the bathroom.

  Upstairs he went and checked on Angela. She was sound asleep. He took her shoes off of her, shifted her on the bed and put the covers over her, opening her window a crack to let in the evening breeze. Stroking her hair from her face, he leaned down and gave her a kiss on her forehead. "I love you, Pum'kin." He said softly, she snuggled in deeper as if his voice penetrated her slumber and granted her the right to sleep peacefully. Pulling her door to, he went into the kitchen looking over all that Jake had gotten done. He was too tired to mess with anything, besides he was worried about Crystal. He sighed, funny how these two kids had come to mean just as much to him as his own. He loved them as he loved their mother. Knowing what she'd put into them, he couldn't help but pull them within his soul as he'd done her. Knowing what Crystal was going through over Victor, and having Mundo tell him that she'd been out last night looking for him, worried him. He left the house to cross the road in order to check and see what was going on. He was tired, but he had to get his family in order first before he laid his head down. Walking into the house, he heard Mundo in the kitchen rambling in the refrigerator for food.