BOMAW 4-6

by Mercedes Keyes

  "Well that's all great to feel and believe, but it doesn't change the fact that she killed herself! Even if he was thinking of me, as things stand, he can probably never look me in the eyes again."

  "What was mama Gert saying?"

  "Girl - too much. If it was left up to her, Jake and I would be making wedding plans. Problem is, its not up to her. Its up to him, and I get this feeling - its over. Before it could even begin. My situation and the way I acted with him doesn't help."

  "Why don't you call him?"

  "And say what?!" Vivian asked saucily putting a hand to her hip, the look one her face said loud and clear, 'You gotta be kidding!?'

  "I don't know - just talk to him! Let him hear your voice! You know'im better than I do!"

  "There ain't no way in the world, I'm calling him at a time like this! No way! That is just too brazen and forward! I'm not putting myself out there like that! So what's that suppose to make him think of me?!"

  "It's gonna make him think you interested in him and that you care about him... because you do! You in love with the man - let's face it!"

  "I just met him! Haven't known him for even a week! I'm not in love with him!"

  "Emm hm! Anything you say! If that be the case, what the heck you trippin' about? Get on with your business and let's get this shit packed up! If you ain't gonna call him, don't be mopin' around, whining and crying about the man. Put up or shet up goddammit!"

  "Sheila! You ever hear of tact!? Some compassion!? Some empathy or under-goddamn-standing!?"

  Sheila started laughing. "Shit, don't get all serious! You know me! You know I care... but what am I suppose to say? Either call the man, expressing your heart felt condolences or - get on with your own life. Get this house packed up - so when they call you up about that place on the way from me, we can get yo' ass moved out of here, and into there. Now that's all I got for you. You got to figure the rest of that shit out for yourself."

  "So you think I should call him?"

  Sheila held folded clothes in her arms and threw them into the air, flapping her arms about frustrated. "Goddammit you gone drive me crazy!!!"

  "I can't help it." Vivian whined sinking to the floor. Her knees against her breasts, arms folded there with her head within. "I don't know what to do. Oh why did she have to kill herself?"

  "Chile ain't no sense in crying about that. The deeds done."

  "She won... although she's dead... she's got'im."

  "In that case, accept it. If you can't... know this - time will take care of everything. She may hold him gripped now - but that's gone wear off. Sooner or later, he gonna have to look up and around him, and pick up where he left off. If that's with you... you'll know. He know where to find you. Now come on... I ain't got all day. Let's get something done."

  * * * *

  Wisconsin...

  No sooner had Gert finished talking to Vivian, that Shanna came in to say she was meeting Kathy Ann in town, and they would be taking the clothes they'd shopped the night before for Jake, to him. Gert had also found many of his things at the house from the many times he'd stayed over leaving articles behind. The girls would take them to him and Gert could get on with what she had to do around the house. On the verge of that, her phone rang again.

  "McPherson residents?"

  There was a slight space of silence, then hesitantly Sylvia asked, "Mama Gert - please tell me Shawn is not there?"

  "Sylvia?!"

  "Yes ma'am."

  "You alright?"

  "Yeah... I'm in Wisconsin. I drove here yesterday and then again today. I think I've worn myself out. I'm really tired, I can't take a chance and drive back to Chicago right now, can I come by there?"

  "If you don't I'll be furious with you! You get here now!"

  "Can you tell me how to get there? I don't remember the way, I'm on my way to Hillsboro now, but I wanted to make sure Shawn wasn't there, and get directions."

  "Don't you worry about Shawn... his hands are full." Gert went on to say, giving Sylvia the directions on how to get there.

  Thirty minutes later she pulled into the yard and pulled around the house and parked in the back as Gert instructed her. Slamming her car door, she stepped out and felt dizzy she was so exhausted. She walked up to the kitchen door to see Gert opening it for her. When she walked in, Bart was sitting at the kitchen table, concern on his face for her.

  "You alright gal? You out running around wearing yourself out? You got to be careful, carrying my grandchild there." Bart started right away.

  Sylvia smiled at him.

  "You just leave her be Bart, she's here to get some rest."

  "I'll be alright. I didn't get much sleep last night. For that matter, nor the night before, its catching up to me. I just didn't wanna take a chance on driving back to Chicago."

  "Well you done the right thing, coming by here. You welcome here anytime. You sure you don't wanna just go on home now?" Bart asked.

  "When she's ready to go home, she'll go! Now leave her alone Bart."

  "Its okay... I don't mind." Sylvia smiled at Gert, then turned to Bart. "Without going into too much, just know that I need this time right now. Once I'm further along and home, and the baby comes... I'm there to buckle down and stay. So - I'm doing the things I wanted to do before your son steam rolled into my life." She said with a smile. Gert smiled proudly at that. Bart stood from the table with his cup of coffee and walked up to Sylvia. He was a tall man. Good looking in his age, rough around the edges, but kind in his heart. He stopped before Sylvia and gently grasped her chin lifting her face to inspect her eyes.

  "You're tired gal. Gert get this youngin' to bed."

  "You better believe I am, soon as you turn her loose."

  "Go... get you some rest. My boy won't be bothering you here. Your secrets safe with us. All I ask, is that you be careful - don't do anything stupid to risk yourself or this child. Whatever you doing, get it done and over with so you can get home... you hear?"

  Sylvia smiled and nodded.

  Bart left the two women making his exit.

  "Come along now, put you right to bed. Gotta take care of yourself gal... carrying my grandson! Jesse James!"

  "What? Jesse James? Who is that?!" Sylvia asked following Gert up the stairs and through the hall.

  "My grandson! That youngin' you're carrying! His father's named him already... I guess you haven't heard yet?"

  "Jesse James!? Was he not a famous outlaw?!" Sylvia asked aghast.

  "I believe he was. But he was also my son's best friend in California! He visited his grave while we were there. Met his grandmother and all. I'm telling you now, best get use to the idea, because he's pretty insistent about it."

  "Jesse James... oh my goodness! I don't think so!"

  "Ah come on... I kind'ah like it, once you get use to it." Gert championed her son's side as they entered the room that was once his. There was still many of his school things in the room because Gert couldn't part with anything that was connected to her kids. Sylvia entered the room looking through blurry tired eyes at the things on the wall, dresser and chester drawer. Pictures of Shawn in School, even his high school graduation picture of him in his cap and gown.

  "Aah... look at him. Oh my goodness! Look at my baby."

  "Ain't he cute as he can be?" Gert bragged.

  "Yes... yes indeed he is. I love him Gert... I swear I do. He just drives me insane sometimes." Sylvia admitted with tears in her eyes. She was tired, and getting emotional. Plus being in his room, seeing his things, his graduation picture, just made her swell with love for him even more. It was making her miss him.

  "Ah hell, that just keeps it excitin'! He don't treat you wrong do he?"

  "No... its not that. Nothing like that. He's just so... I don't know." She stood yawning and her eyes watered up.

  "Get over there on that bed and snuggle in and get you some sleep. Sleep as long as you need. Aint' nobody gonna bother you here."

  Sylvia walked over to the bed and sat down. "
What if Shawn comes by?" She yawned again.

  "Even if he do, he never comes up here. Its usually a quick drop in for something or the other. That's not often, you'll be fine." Gert reached behind her pulled the covers back.

  "Get under there now and get yourself some sleep. We can talk when you wake."

  "Thank you... so much... I just need a little rest." Sylvia laid down, smiling she thought of the name again. "Jesse James, huh?" She asked sleepily.

  "That's what he says." Gert replied at the door looking back at Sylvia who was about to slip off to sleep.

  "Jesse James... we'll see..." She spoke softly, and soon was off to sleep.

  Gert smiled and stepped through the door, closing it gently behind her.

  Chapter 97

  Shawn hung up the phone and put his debit card away. He picked up the sheet with all the confirmation numbers on it for Mundo's loans paid in full, "That's done, now we get to drive to La Crosse and get you registered. Do you have the programs and schedules?" He asked Mundo as they left from the basement door to check on Jake, who was on the phone sitting out on the front porch. Just as they stepped out there, Kathy Ann and Shanna pulled into the driveway. "I got everything. I also called to find out about the classes remaining, there's still plenty of places open for the classes I'll take this year." Mundo spoke as they rounded the side of the house, watching the two women unload bags of clothing for Jake.

  They all converged on the spot where he sat talking to the guys from work, telling them about the project Shawn was about to undertake with renovating and expanding his home. He looked at his sisters who settled down on the steps next to him, about to show him what was bought for him. The guy from work promised to stop by after work to speak with him and Shawn, satisfied, he wrapped up the conversation and looked up at his waiting brother.

  "Alright, see you later man." Clicking off his mobile he looked from Shawn to his sisters.

  "Look... I'm going to La Crosse for a few hours, gotta get Mundo registered in school, his classes paid for and his books ordered. Since you're going to be here alone, chill a bit, visit with these two, soon as I return, we'll get started."

  "Don't worry about me, I'll find something to do." Jake replied.

  Satisfied, Shawn and Mundo climbed into the SUV and took off for La Crosse, leaving Jake with his sisters. He sat trying to show some interest in what they were saying, in the clothes they'd bought him. Making all the appropriate nods, smiling when he thought he should. He barely gave the items they showed him a glance. He had a funeral on his mind. And after that, he kept asking himself - 'Then what?'

  He hated it happening, but Vivian kept popping up in his mind. Yet he fought it. For the life of him, he could not get around the fact that he might possibly do something to ruin her life as well. After all, from what he saw - she'd been hurt enough. He didn't even know what he wanted anymore. Depression was trying to grip him again, because while Doris was yet to be buried, he had another woman on his mind. Vivian. He was eaten up with guilt because she was the one person he would love to talk to right now. For some strange reason, he felt that she might understand how he felt. Sex aside, there was something about her - in the way she was when not angry and hurting, that made him believe, she could sooth this. It took him a moment before he realized his sisters were staring at him and waiting. He looked up at one, then the other. It was clear they'd been talking to him about something.

  "Uh oh... I'm sorry... what did I miss?"

  They both took a deep breath, understanding of him and what he was going through.

  "Don't worry about it Jake. Where do you want us to put your clothes?"

  "Come on... in the basement." He said standing leading the way there, grabbing one the bags from them to carry himself. Trying to fill the awkward silence, he decided to tell them about his decision. "I told Shawn already, I guess I'd best let you guys know as well. I'm going to Doris' funeral." He stated stepping in the passageway leading down into the basement.

  "Have you lost your mind Jake... don't do that! Don't show up there! Her family will not appreciate you being there." Kathy Ann stated following him into the basement.

  "She's right Jake. Wait until they've had the funeral and burial... then go afterwards." Shanna added.

  "I've already gone through this with Shawn... I'm going to be at that burial sight before she's lowered into that ground. If I don't do that - if I don't show up for that, it would be the ultimate humiliation. Its as much to say she wasn't worth the bother. I won't do that to her. Its hard enough living with myself."

  "Have you talked to mom about this? Dad?"

  "Excuse me?! I'm a grown man! Have you forgotten, I'll be 40 years old in a few months! I don't need my parents permission for anything I do! My decision has nothing to do with them! But everything to do with me!"

  "Jake - they hate your guts! Have you forgotten that little fact? Your home was burned to the ground! Truck destroyed... you wanna be next?!" Kathy Ann pointed out and asked.

  "What can I say? Life's a bitch!"

  "Are you trying to commit suicide as well?! Because if you show up there, they're going to hurt you! If not try to kill you! You cannot show your face at her funeral!" Shanna added frightened at the thought of it.

  "Look, I have things to do... thanks for the clothes and all... but uh, I need to be alone for a while... so... you guys can take off now." He stood, his head giving a slight gesturing towards the door.

  They stood stunned, unable to move.

  * * * *

  On the way to La Crosse, Shawn was on the phone talking to his mother as he drove. "We got a problem. Your son has truly lost his mind." He started out as soon as she answered the phone. "Jake?" Gert asked, standing up in the attic, tugging and pulling and un-burying things she planned to show to Sylvia when she woke. "Yep... brace yourself." Shawn started. "He plans on going to Doris' funeral!"

  "No he is not!" Gert walked to the octagon window for the sunlight to shine through on her.

  "I'm afraid that he is. He told me so this morning, he was rather emphatic about it. To save you time and frustration, you can believe me when I say, he's determined to go, and I know nothing you say to him, will change his mind. He's going to go. He feels that if he doesn't show up there, it would be the worst thing he could do to further humiliate her. His conscience is forcing this decision. We're not gonna change his mind."

  Gert held the phone thinking about what he would have to face showing up at that funeral - alone.

  "Are you sure son?"

  "Yes... he's going."

  "All right then... fine. Obviously its something he feels he has to do. There's only one alternative."

  "That is?" Shawn asked.

  "My son will not face them alone! Looks like to me, its time for the McPherson's to turn out in numbers. Full force. So I guess I'll start with you. I'm asking you to stand with your brother."

  "You needn't bother asking. I was about to tell you, I'm going with him."

  "Well... that's a start... I got phone calls to make. Can you take care of gettin' a hold of Derrick for me? Tell him I want his entire crew showing... everyone!"

  "You got it mom, I'll get him there... all of them."

  "That's all I ask. Gotta go - as I said, phone calls to make."

  By the time Gert got off the phone with Shawn, and made her way downstairs and out to the pole barn where Bart was, she was ready for another battle.

  "Bart."

  He turned from working on an old rusty truck he was taking his time to restore. "Yeah?"

  "Jakes going to Doris' funeral."

  Bart stood a moment staring at his wife, his displeasure was clear. He tossed down a oily cloth he held, grinding his teeth. "Over my dead body he is! How much more shame is this family to take because of him!? He drove that woman to commit suicide... I don't care what you say! He shamed her-..."

  "SHE SHAMED HERSELF! She was a grown - woman! Thirteen years older than him! He did no more than what she allowed him to
do!"

  "I told you last night I didn't want to hear no more about it! But I'll be damned if he'll mock her death by showing up there!"

  "He's not going to mock her Bart! Its his way of showing his respects for her! He's a grown man! It's something he feels he has to do! By god or the devil my boy will not stand against them alone! We're going with him!"

  "The hell I am and for that matter, nor are you!"

  "Are you telling me, that you're willing to let our boy stand against her family alone, to possible harm!?"

  "He made his bed, let him lie in it!"

  "Have you forgotten? They burned it to the ground! I'm asking you Bart... stand with our boy."

  "I will not stand behind someone who's lived the way he's lived! Who's done the things he's done! I've swallowed a lot over the years when it came to him and his shenanigans! The way he's treated girls! Women! You know I don't approve of the things he's done! I didn't raise my sons to be disrespectful of women! Treating them that way!"

  "What do you mean raise sons! You barely raised the first two! You call what you did to them - raising?! What you did to my Shawn?! What you did to Derrick?! That was not raising! You know it... and I know it!"

  "Well I left off of it with Jake... and look how he turned out?! But the other two... look at'em! Must'ah done something right with them! Don't see them doing such disgusting things as he's done to women! He's as sinful as they come! Now his day of reckoning is here... I'll not stand in the way of it!" He defended hotly.

  "Even if that reckoning - gets him killed?!" Gert asked walking up to her husband to stare him in the face.

  Bart swallowed, trying to stand tall, firm and unmoving with his decision.

  "You'd let them kill my son... our son - just so you can feel justified in your self-righteous principles? Is that what you're telling me?"

  Bart swallowed, glancing down at his wife and then up again over her head.

  "He's brought it all on himself." He finally ground out.

  "He's the product of your neglect! Of you ignoring him! Of you pushing him aside!"