BOMAW 4-6

by Mercedes Keyes

  "WHAT THE HELL YOU DOIN' HERE!?!? LYDIAAAA!!!"

  "Ma'am - calm down calm down! Mrs Martin knows me, see - I have keys... just going upstairs." Jake informed her, shaken by her fright.

  "You lookin' at that apartment to rent or somethin'?" She asked with piercing distrustful eyes.

  Just then Lydia opened the back door from above and called down. "Earthaleen, what's wrong?"

  "There a big o'white man down here with keys, say you give'em to him!" She yelled up the stairs, not taking her eyes off of Jake. Jake walked to the other stairs, slowly heading up them, "Would you please tell her I'm okay Mrs. Martin!" Jake spoke out.

  Lydia laughed, "He okay Eartha, that's my new son-in-law's brother, his name Jake."

  "Oh... okay. Well gone up stairs then, ain't got to stand here lookin' at me." Eartha ordered, rolling her eyes and going back into her back door. Jake shook his head and turned making his way up to see Lydia's smiling face there waiting for him.

  "Mrs. Martin, you don't need a watch dog do you?" Jake joked.

  Lydia laughed as he made his way inside.

  "Don't mind her none, she watch out for me, I watch out for her. You okay? You was down there fo' sometime, what you doin'?"

  "Just - thinking. You renting that place out anytime soon?" He asked taking a seat at her kitchen table.

  "At some point I will. Not in no hurry though. Its a pain in the butt if I don't get the right folks in there. I can't stand dealing with trying to collect rent from fools who don't intend to pay. Plus I can't stand nasty folks either, first time I see it a mess down there, I be ready to throw somebody out. With Eartha I got lucky. Ain't too sure who to rent it out to."

  "You've put a lot into the place, I can understand why. It looks really nice down there." Jake complimented in thought.

  "Yo' Shawn help get a good bit done. I was just wanting it fixed up, but then it turn out to look so nice, I thought to finish it and rent it. Sylvia help me with gettin' that other entryway added. Now its done, look so good I can't make up my mind what I'm gone do."

  "If I was in a better position to, I'd rent it from you." Jake stated, having no clue as to why he said it, knowing his situation, but it came out anyway.

  "You? What you need with a place here in Chicago? You thinkin' a comin' here that much?"

  "It's crossing my mind. Think there'd be a problem with me coming and going in this neighborhood?"

  "'Cause you white?" She asked.

  "Yeah." He answered.

  "A while ago maybe... not now. We first move here when they was all Lithuanian's and some Puerto Rican's and a few Mexicans. I think me and mine was the fourth black family move in - that was when my husband still live with us. Then all o'sudden, white folks got to moving out, more Spanish and black moved in. Didn't take but about ten more years, and suddenly it was all Spanish and black. Fifteen years ago, it was all black... I'm telling you it was bad. Now, white folks coming back in that all the ghetto fools done burned themselves out and moved on. All along here, white folks buying back buildings and property, fixing it up and moving in. I say, there be about twelve white families live on the boulevard now, more coming. You be okay. After Mayor Daley did all that fixing up through here - it looks real good."

  "I don't know. I just thought ... I'd love to be able to come here when I wanted to, have a place to stay. I know there are hotels, but... I'd kind of like a place of my own, know what I mean?"

  Lydia smiled. "Now what you got here in Chicago that make you want a place to come to?" She asked taking a seat across from him.

  Jake sat quiet, afraid to answer, so said instead, "I don't have a place at all right now. I'm staying with Shawn. Now that Sylvia will be coming home, I don't know if my presence will always be welcome. I was thinking maybe of coming down on the weekends from time to time, maybe getting with Dennis. Just to give them space you know."

  "Why don't you just stay wit' them, Dennis and Sheila, I bet they won't mind."

  Jake sighed again, couldn't answer. He thought a moment, and speaking his mind said, "Its one thing to be a free loader on my brother, he's family, but I wouldn't subject them to it." He glanced up at her and smiled, slipping into thought again suddenly he asked, "You ever ... feel so much conflict in yourself, that it made you afraid to move, one way - or the other?"

  "Chile please ... that might as well be the theme of my life. I don't know no body who ain't scared to do something they never done before, especially when it mean relying on somebody else."

  Jake smiled, realizing she knew the battle he was in, nodding he sat thinking once again in silence. Lydia's heart when out to him. He was obviously in the midst of something that was going to make a major change in his life and he was scared to follow through with it. She knew it was to do with Vivian, so there was no need to ask him a bunch of unnecessary questions. "I'm fixin'ta get to bed. Bathroom there, bedroom behind you. Goodnight." Lydia stood as Jake looked up with a smile. "Ah'right Mrs. Martin, goodnight - thanks for everything."

  "You got them keys for down there?" She asked on her way to bed.

  He still had his finger through the key ring, holding them up to give them to her.

  "I tell you what... 'till you know what you gone do - I let you hang on to them for a while. Like I say, I ain't in no hurry to rent it out. You wanna come here now and then, come on - just call and let me know so Earthaleen know you down there."

  Jake couldn't believe his ears. "I can't just hold on to these keys for nothing." He protested.

  "Well chile I don't know what to charge you. You ain't gone be here all the time."

  "Well... what if I gave you three thousand dollars for the year? I know that's not a lot, but at least it will be paid up front and no waiting for rent."

  "Are you serious?" Lydia asked stunned.

  "Yes ma'am... I can bring the money to you Saturday, I'll be back here then. If that's not enough, uh - would five thousand be?"

  "Look... you family now - three thousand is fine. You don't even know what you doing or what you gone do - do you?" She asked in a motherly tone, putting her hand on her hip.

  With a crooked smile, Jake shrugged like a little boy.

  Lydia shook her head. "Chile listen... just ... hold onto the keys 'till you know for sure what-..."

  "No ma'am... I'll be bringing you the money Saturday, will you rent it to me, for the year?"

  Lydia smiled wondering what the heck was going on. First Shawn was calling her, showing up there to stay with her, and then inviting his brother's to meet her, and now, the baby boy, the devil of the three, was looking to rent her basement apartment. Looking at that face, she didn't have the heart to deny him. "If that's what you want... you got it."

  "You should probably draw up a lease or something for me to sign."

  "I ain't worried about it unless you need one?"

  "No ma'am. Any rules I need to abide by?"

  "Just be respectful to my home, to me and to yourself. Be mindful there's someone above you, an old lady at that. She nice when she wanna be, and she bitchy when she wanna be. But you a grown man, bound to do grown man things, I ain't gone be in your business. If your brother anything to go by, I'm gone have to hope yo' mama and daddy raised you right. 'Cause if you do something I don't like, that I feel step over a line that we shouldn't have to discuss, you gone hear about it."

  "Fair enough ma'am. Just so you know, my mother did raise me right. Not to say it did a whole lot of good a lot of the time." He grinned and winked at Lydia, making her chuckle and wonder what she was letting herself in for letting him in, when he went on to say, "Seriously ma'am, if I cross the line, just speak up and tell me."

  "Nuff said then, goodnight."

  "Goodnight Ms Lydia." Jake nodded and stood after she left the kitchen going into the middle bedroom down the hall. Realizing his bag was out in the truck, he stood at her bedroom door and asked through it, "Ms Lydia, I'm wanting to take a shower, can I go out and get my bag from my truck?"

  Sh
e came back to her door, sighed looking up at him, wondering if he was worth the bother, and nodded to the buffet by the door, "Keys in that bill caddy, you listen now, when you go out that door, close'em behind you - don't leave'em open! Hurry up and get that bag out that truck, lock it up and get on back in here. Then lock all my doors and the gate!" She explained firmly.

  Jake stood staring at her a moment then said, "Never mind... I'll just wear these until the morning, goodnight ma'am."

  "That's up to you." She said closing her door again.

  Jake walked to the bill caddy, picked up the heavy ring of keys, where she must have collected keys over the last twenty years and kept them on the ring. He hadn't a clue which one went where. He put them back and decided that he'd at least go to bed clean.

  Stripping down in the bathroom, Jake stood in the mirror and stared at himself. His mind was blank as his eyes fogged up blindly gazing on his reflection. Just dead space for a few moments before he closed his eyes and inhaled a scent that still lingered in his head. He licked his lips as if he could still taste her on them. Realizing what he was doing, he snapped himself out of the daze that floated down over him and started the shower getting in. Standing there washing down and scrubbing his scalp, he drifted off once again, lost in a vacant strange haze as if he no longer had control of his mind and its wandering off in a direction he hadn't intended to go. He felt himself stirring a bit aroused. He took a deep breath and shook it off again. Out of the shower he dried down, cracked the door open to listen and make sure Lydia was in bed and not coming out of her room. All he had on was a towel wrapped around his waist; going for it, he made a quick exit from the bathroom with all of his clothes in hand, stepping without hesitation to the room he would be sleeping in. Closing the door, he laid his clothes on the end of the bed, took off the towel and climbed in under the fresh clean sheets with the fancy quilted bedspread. The bed was comfortable heaven after sleeping on the sofa bed in the basement at Sylvia's and Shawn's.

  Sylvia obviously learned her cleanliness from her mother, because the woman's home was without a doubt spotless. Strange enough, for some reason, he felt completely relaxed there. He lay under the covers with his hands crossed beneath his head staring through the dark at the ceiling. His eyes were starting to sting, they were slowly growing heavy towards sleep. As they closed, a thought, a line, mere words came to his mind, forcing them open again.

  "No... no more of this. Let's leave it alone....... - ....... Starting tonight, from you - I want nothing."

  Jake rubbed his chest, praying that soon, sleep would come, he had to drive back home tomorrow. He would be, for the first time ever in his life, baby sitting. He'd felt bad that Crystal could find no one to watch Darren and Isaac so she could go out with her friends and Mundo. Going against all of his past life experience, he needed to be rested for the big event. He turned to his side, shaping the pillow to hold, and out of no where, he saw his large white hand, palm open over and caressing the extended dark belly of Vivian. Her belly button poked out under his hand, tickling his palm as he looked up at her smiling, she was large with his child.

  "Jesus Christ... what's happening to me!?" He punched the pillow and wrestled with the forces that be and finally found himself wrapped in clutches of sleep, and yet - there too, she intruded.

  * * *

  Vivian cried into her pillow that night. Calling herself every type of fool. Every type of fool because she had come so close to calling Jake. Of late, she was always struggling when it came to him, on the verge of giving in. Everything within her, wanted to let him come to her new place, climb into her bed and yes, do all that he was capable of doing to her. To hell with the consequences of the act. She wanted him. She was lonely. She ached so badly deep within, the pain was real, physically altering and making her miserable. Her mouth - her damn mouth had opened up and said to him something she knew she didn't mean and might not be able to hold to. The stupid determination to have all of him, was coming at a price she wasn't so sure she could pay. Who was she kidding she wondered. How many women had no doubt pursued him, tried to make him love them, only to end up broken hearted? She was certain, that she was courting with danger, certain to end up the same. At least they'd had the pleasure of him. That night, so had she, just a mere sampling of him - never had she experienced such a soul shattering climax as in the broom closet. Laying there, she could feel a tingling in her nether regions. His tongue, his mouth, had laved her thoroughly. She hadn't known that a man could put his tongue so far in. He went at her like he couldn't get enough. Then to see him put his fingers in his mouth and suck off what remained of her, made her heart lodge up in her throat. Vivian squeezed her thighs fighting a building heat. She knew she shouldn't think about it, but she was human, he - no - he was not. He was no human. He was some kind of animal. A wolf, a dog, no - a magnificent lion. That's what he was. One that would run her down, snatch her to the ground and consume her. Vivian rolled to her back with her heart pounding. The vivid image played havoc with her, her heart beat with such intensity, it moved her chest. Jacob Patrick McPherson was dangerous to everything that she was. She cried because she knew that. No woman would hold a man like Jake for long. The madness was in fighting against just giving into the needs of the flesh for the here and now - the hell with tomorrow.

  So what was the fight about?

  She wanted the tomorrows with him too. She wanted him to love her, with the same passion and power his brother loved Sylvia. That's what she wanted. Having him today, having him now, might just snatch that from her along with all the possible tomorrows. For that insane plot, she burned from within. "God please ... why in the world - did you lead that man - him of all men, into my life? I know what he is... I know what he is... do me a favor, help me shake this!? Please... help me shake this! Show me all the ugly things in him I should fear, that I should run from! Please! How can I feel this so strongly already?" She sniffed, sitting up in bed, back against her headboard, she snatched the Kleenex box placing it between her legs as she sat holding a tissue, wiping and blowing her nose. Her small t.v. played softly before her, the only light in the room coming from the screen adding a glow, casting her in soft shadow.

  "He's a user. A womanizer. He'd probably cheat on me. And maybe... just maybe, he still has a thing for Sylvia, even though he denies it. So what am I doing here? Why him? Lord... its not just his looks, really it isn't. He's not the first really good looking man I've seen, nor the first really good looking man that's gone after me, for sex." She continued on in her conversation to GOD. She leaned her head back against the wall above her headboard, thinking. Her mind was a jumbled mess. Of late, it took off in one direction, then suddenly without warning, would do an about face in another direction, often one she wish it wouldn't when she was trying to get it to stick to a sensible direction and logical thoughts.

  "You know... I like the way he smells. No... I love the way he smells. I love the color of his skin. The coarse tan hair that covers his body ... and he cut his hair! Finally! He looks older now. More his age, I think I like this way better. Oh and I love his hands, especially his hands. So calloused they're rough and hard as any hands I've ever felt. Strong hands, big hands, long fingers ... all chapped and cracked showing the extent of how he uses them ... maybe that's what it is... he is - the closest thing to a man, a real physical man that I've ever known. All the others are in the office. All clean and soft - wouldn't dirty themselves with manual labor." She grew quiet again. Her mind drifted as she imagined being with him in Wisconsin, on land. She smiled as a silly picture of her dressed like Caroline Ingalls from "Little House On The Prairie" came to mind, and the theme music from the show started playing in her head. The picture made her smile and then laugh despite her tears and crying. She sniffed and scooted down in her bed, grabbing her pillow and hugging it to her chest as her fantasy took flight, she envisioned herself walking out of their little wood frame home that he would have built with his bare hands. Her hand to her back because sh
e would be heavily pregnant with his child as she walked to the barn to tell him dinner was ready. He would be in the barn, shirtless, sawing on wood and building a crib for their first baby together. He would look up, see her coming, and stand up right, with a smile, wiping the sweat from his brow, his skin would be glistening from perspiration.

  Vivian turned on her side shaking the fantasy from her mind. Tears gathered once again and fell. "Stupid stupid dreams. Stupid stupid me. In love the worse way possible with a man that loves no one but himself!" She scolded herself for being such an idiot, and whimpered because she couldn't help herself. "Just one time... just once, it couldn't hurt to let him love me... just once." She reasoned softly. "Yeah... right. Once he did, for what reason would he have for coming back to me?" She answered herself, then pleaded in prayer, "Oh Jake... come back to me. I want you. Do you hear me... I want you. I've never wanted anything so badly as I want you, and you to want me too. Not just in my bed, but love - I want that powerful, uncontrollable, that lasts until the end of time kind of love, you for me, me for you. God almighty how could it be, to know a man a few short weeks and yet, feel totally consumed by him?"