Angela nodded about to lay down, "Wait honey, put the seat belt on first baby, here... use my sweater to lay your head on. That's a girl."
Sylvia took her bag to the trunk and put it in closing it within. She turned to Meribel, standing in the doorway and waved. "Thank you." She called out.
Meribel nodded standing in the light of the front porch.
Even more eager to be home, Sylvia climbed in, fastened her seat belt, checked to see that all of Angela was in behind her and slammed the door shut, locking it. Started the car and said, "We'll be home soon baby."
"Okay." Angela squeaked out almost back to sleep.
Sylvia hit the road once again, touching her husband, just because.
Almost two hours later, she pulled up in front of her home. It was 3:45am and she was now officially tired and ready for bed. Before she was given freedom to that, she had to get Angela and Shawn inside first. She left them as she opened the trunk of the car and grabbed their bags carrying them to the side door only to stand and see, there was no longer a side door. Not there. She stood a moment stunned with her mouth open, then turned and headed for the front door, going up the stairs, she used her keys and went into the house, turning on the lights. Sitting the bags down along the hallway, she walked to the kitchen and stood with her mouth covered in shock after sucking in a gasp.
The room was un-recognisable.
She walked to the door that was there from the kitchen to see that it led down a short hallway to a brand new office. Tears rushed in on her, "Oh my God! Oh my god! Look at this! Oh my god! Oh Shawn! I love it! I just love it!" She turned to see a door off the short hall, and it opened to the garage. "Oh my god - oh my god - oh my god! Look at this!" There was the frame work of a wall going up across the entire back of the garage that started on the far side of the old garage door that would lead whomever into what would be a short corridor to stairs going up into the flat they were putting above it. She could already see what was to come, and felt such joy and excitement it woke her up. She closed the door and went back into the stripped out kitchen to see the framework of the cook bar that would go in for her to serve from. There would be plenty of room and counter top for a nice size stove, refrigerator and serving counter.
Sylvia laughed and did a rapid tap dancing in the kitchen. Then realized Shawn and Angela were still in the car. "YES! I am so freakin' happy! Oh my god! It's gonna be the bomb!" She hurried out the front door to get them inside.
Earlier that same evening...
Lydia stood nervous with words forming in her mind of things she should say. How to say it. What to say first, all the while realizing that he might not wish to hear any of them. In truth, she'd wanted to come the night before, but it had been too soon and she'd needed to be there to let Shawn and Sylvia in. Yet the night was spent with her restless and deep in thought. Her mind was filled with reflections going back over the years to every single thing she did to make their marriage impossible for him to stay in. Sadly, she had only one thing in her corner, the fact that he'd not only left her, but his children as well. Consistent arrivals of the child support was there, yet no excuse could there be for him not to have delivered some of them personally. His leaving not only broke her heart, but his children's heart as well - every time they looked for him to come, longing in their eyes, only to know - it was not to be. Willing to come clean and be totally honest with herself, she knew she played a part, that had been long accepted. Years after both of their crimes had been committed, she stood as the one having to make the move to possibly, make amends. Unable to bare a moment more in her chamber of loneliness and regret, she needed to face him. She could not move on unless she did so. Mixed in with her fears was the knowledge that she had truly loved her husband, problem had been, she hadn't a clue of how to love anyone at the time when it was so important to do so. Now ... in her 50's - all she wanted was to love and be loved. Not by anyone, but by this man. She ached with the emptiness of what only a man could fill ... the emptiness that only Lucas Henry could fill ... if ... that is, she could stir in him what she once had. She wasn't the young fetching beauty she was back in her teens. When laying eyes on him she moved heaven and earth to get him, and once the getting was done - her attention went inward to her own needs. Expecting that he should be the one grateful to have her. With her voice and talent, she could see back to when she thought in all honesty, her shit didn't stink. When she acted as if she were royalty accidentally born among peasants, and while in the midst of them, she'd fallen for one of their minions.
Held in her hands, a piece offer.
Just one means by which she was willing humble down to him and beg his forgiveness. She didn't care about his wrong towards the kids at that point, they were grown and gone. That part was over. Should it creep in on them, it would do so from them. A portion of her felt ashamed, because she should tell him off for neglecting them. For turning his back and walking away. Were it not for the fact that they had their lives now and were off living them, she might have. Holding that pan of his favorite food, all that came from her heart was hope that he listen to her. Hear her out and not turn her away. She took another whiff of the dish - barbecue pig feet smothered in onions. He loved it. She remembered he'd sit and, "emp emp emph..." while sucking the meat, fat and skin from the bones in total bliss. No one could do soul food like her! She felt this while facing the fact that every other black woman in the US her age believed that - because their family told them so - and the look on her husband's face had declared it true in that house.
She was wondering how much longer he would make her stand there when she heard the security gate opening. She stared at the widening panels expecting to see him standing there, but when they opened so far and stopped, she waited on baited breath.
"Well don't stan' there! You comin' in or ain'cha!?" She heard him grumble in the intercom.
Taking a deep breath, Lydia walked through the gates, a motion light was her guide so she would not stumble in the dark. Far beyond the light, the scrap yard was cloaked in the darkness of night. Looking towards the door of the shop or building where he stayed, her eyes focused on Lucas. The man she was still married to, even though for years and years, they'd been apart. He'd aged yes, but well. He was whipcord lean, a wiry strength that immediately conjured in her mind the way he'd looked naked way back when they were one. He'd taken to frowning, she could tell that from the expression he must use too often. That hadn't been so years ago, back then, he use to smile all the time, it was the first thing that had drawn her attention. His bright white smile. Time with her following their marriage, left the smile behind with few appearances, kept only for their children, and especially Sylvia.
Lucas gulped. It had been a long time since he'd seen his wife. The last and final visit had been on one of his failed attempts after he'd stepped down from the door after finding no one home, to get in his vehicle to see one pull ahead of him as he sat parked. She'd gotten out, and then a man on the drivers side had gotten out. He stared at her hoping she would just glance his way and see him there. Her eyes had been set on the tall black man joining her on the sidewalk to go up the steps to the house he worked his ass off to buy for her. The only reason he didn't give her hell and make her leave was because she had his children. They disappeared inside and he peeled out, never to return. That had been maybe 28 years ago. She had been pretty as a picture then.
Here it was to current date and her face was clean of the makeup and heavy eyebrow pencil she used to wear, the false eye lashes that always adorned her face. She'd had fantasies of being one of the Marvelettes or Supremes and had always looked as if she needed to only change into a gown then join them on stage. She'd spent too much money on wigs to match their do - when she'd always had ample hair of her own.
Now, it was peppered with grey and pulled back into a bun. Her skin glowing, few lines if any. No eyebrow pencil, no high do, no false lashes or rusty orange lip stick. Just an older woman, who was truly, a pretty woman. She was a bit
plump - but nothing that would turn a man off. She looked soft, and her eyes... were staring at him, full of remorse and apology. He bore down on the funny feeling in his stomach and grouched.
"What you want?"
"I come to see you Lucas." Lydia stated softly.
"I ain't blin' you know! May be nighttime, but you showin' clear. How you fin' me?"
"I ask somebody to look for you, fo'me."
"Who? That Shawn Sylvia married? He fin' me fo'you?"
Lydia took a deep breath and then nodded, "Yes... it was him."
"Em hm, next time I talk to him, I'mo give him a piece o'my min'! I was wit' that boy for hours the otha'day - he ain't mention you once!"
"I ask him not to." She explained softly.
"Don't see why you ask him to fin' me! I'on owe you nothin'! Sent you all that chil' support! Kept you in that buildin' didn't I? Left you alone t'do what the hell you wanna do! Now, here you gone show up fuckin' wit' me - I ain'-..."
"Don't be mean Lucas. It ain't like you to be mean. I didn't come - to bring you - no -..."
"Don't start no tears! Turn'em off! They ain't gone work! State what you come here fo' and be on yo' way! It's late at night - got nothin' but bed on my mind." He turned from her because he had to. He couldn't see her look as she did then. That wasn't the look of the Lydia he once knew. The Lydia he remembered was hankty, haughty and down her nose at anybody she felt unworthy of her attention. This other woman, shook him already - she hadn't been there for five minutes yet. He lead the way inside the dimly lit front store and on behind the counter to the door that lead back to the area that was his home. He wasn't asking her to come back. If she wanted to talk, common sense would tell her to come on back.
Lydia worked to get herself together as she stepped through the darkened rooms, lit with dim night lights. "How come you don't have one of the lights on Lucas, you bound to trip over something it's so low lit."
"I'm home, I know where the hell I'm goin'! You can't see yo' way through, that's yo' problem! I ain't turnin' on no lights, I don't need, just 'cause you can't see!" He fussed, keeping his back to her.
Lydia sighed. He was not going to meet her half way, would make no effort to make things easier on her.
"It's okay Lucas, I'ah make do. Where can I set this?" She asked, lifting the long pan.
He turned at the little divider counter standing to her right. She glanced past him to the small kitchenette, perfect size for a single man who didn't do a lot of cooking. There were dirty pots and pans, some plates about. The place needed a good cleaning. He saw the look in her face. "Don't you min' nothin' over there! You can set that right here... what's in there?" He asked. Lydia looked to the left of the room as she went to the counter, there was a comfortable size living room with un-descriptive furniture dating back to the sixties and a round table against the far wall underneath an air conditioning unit fixed high inset. To the left of it, another door. She imagined that to be his bedroom.
"What you looking 'round for?"
"Just looking at your home Lucas. You hungry?" She asked to distract his thoughts.
"Naw I ain't hungry." His stomach called him a liar, loud and clear, for them both to hear ... the growl rumbled and took a moment to settle.
Lydia smiled. "Why'on't you take a look and see what I brung you to eat."
"You bring me somethin' to eat? What?!"
"Look and see Lucas." She pleaded gently.
He hesitantly pulled away a corner of the foil covered pan to reveal something he hadn't had in sometime. His stomach growled again, he almost salivated.
"Aaaaaah hell ... you up to somethin' and it ain't no good! I ain't eatin' that! 'Sides, I got to watch my cholesterol." He fumed.
"Your favorite food every now and then don't hurt Lucas. Look at this here. Remember how good my barbecue pig feet and onions was? Look at there." She invited pulling the foil away completely so he could see them laid out with the soft onions cooked and covering them, the tangy ting of the barbecue sauce rising with the steam and mixed with the pungent aroma of the onions. "I know you wanna try at least one."
He was staring down at the them, his stomach pleading with him, as his mouth watered.
"He - ale - naaaw! I'mo have to do somethin' for them. What you want woman?"
Lydia sighed and covered them over, she looked up with sad eyes and almost pleaded. "Can we talk Lucas?"
"'bout what?"
"Lots o'thangs."
"Lots o'thangs like what?"
"How come you ain't - never try and remarry?"
"'Cause I ain't crazy! Gimme' credit for some kind'ah sense."
"You mean, you ain't never, in all this time... met no body - make you feel in your heart... what - once upon a time I made you feel?"
"That right there what gimme' the good sense not to. Goddamn women, ya'll is all the same! Can't do shit right fo'you no matter what way a man turn! What sense it make, end wit' one, and gettin' another? Hell wit' that!"
"I ain't meet no body either ... make me feel in my heart ... what you make me feel."
"Yeah, well you sho' as hell try didn'yah?"
"Yeah Lucas... I did. An' it didn't matter who he was or what he do ... no man make me want him, like I want you."
"Yeah... how many you try fo' you give up?!"
"It wasn't that way Lucas."
"Tha's a lie! I seen'im goin' there three times!" He put up three fingers to emphasize the number. "Watch'in you take'em up to the goddamn home I bought you! What the hell you think that make me feel?! Huh?! I should'ah divorce yo'ass! Don't know why I didn't!"
"If you was there to see that, how come you didn't come to the door Lucas?"
"Fo'what?! If you'dah gave a damn about me - you been lookin' fo' me ... long time fo'now! How come you woud'n't lookin' then? Huh?! I watch you look right pass me! Right pass! Now fi'teen hun'ed years later... you gone show up wit' some pig feet... and thank I'm just gone open up m'arms and say - come on in!?"
"But they barbecue pig feet wit' smothered onions! You know tha's yo' favorite! Least you could do is listen to me! I come to say I'm sorry!" Lydia whined, her fear was growing so she wasn't making sense even to herself. "I've never been so sorry for anything in my life ... than ruinin' what we had. I was young. Silly and foolish Lucas! I ain't have the good sense to know that all I needed, I already had. And - Lucas ... I swear fo'GOD - everyday, of - of every week, month and year gone by - I hated myself. My pride ... my foolish ... stupid... pride. Don't you know what it cos' me - to come here now ... like this ... I can't be alone no more Lucas. And ... I'on want no body but you."
"You been t'bed wit' all them men-..."
"Lucas I ain't been to bed with all no men!"
"Woman I know you ain't gone stand there - and try tell me - you ain't slep' wit' no man since I been gone!"
"You sleep with other women Lucas?!" Lydia hit back.
"Damn right I did!"
"Well that make you twice wrong as me! You left me first! And you left yo'own children!" Lydia shouted, forgetting the promise to herself not to bring that up. It was desperation to even the board that made her blurt it out, and now - she regretted it.
"Tha's why you here!"
"No it ain't Lucas... I swear fo'God it's not! I'm here 'cause I'm sorry. I'm lonely. And I don't wanna spend the last of my days... by myself. An' if it mean, I have to come back to you this way - humble - and I am Lucas... I swear I am ... then I will. You can't make me believe, you want to spend the rest o'yo'life like this." She looked around his messy home.
"What's wrong wit' this!"
"Lucas you know betta'! Look at this place, I swear."
"Don't start ... you just got'n'da'door!"
"I'm yo' wife Lucas - like it o'not!"
"NOT!"
"Too bad! I'm yo' wife! You want that changed you had ample time to do it! You didn't ... so I'm here to collect! You left me after all."
"Collect what?!" Lucas asked bracing himself.
"My
due!"
"What's that? I'on owe you no money!"
"I'on want no money!" She returned eyeing him up and down.
"What you lookin' at me like that fo'?! I'on know what you got on yo' min'! But whateva' it is, you better gone from hea'nah!"
"Lucas Henry Martin ... you my husband - I got my right! I got my needs!"
"Ah hell naaaw!" Lucas shook his head looking scared, "Get them pig feet - get'the hell'on up out'ah here now! I ain't crazy! I knew you was afta' somethin' with them pig feet! Knew they was gone cos' me somethin'!"
"What's wrong Lucas... it don't work no more?" Lydia asked and removed her sweater.
"Put that sweater back on! Gone'now! Don't come no closer!"
"Remember how it use to be Lucas? With all that was wrong... that ... was always right... woudn't it?"
"See see see - gone now - see see - you ain't gettin'none here!"
"Why not Lucas? You need to eat some'o'them pig feet to get it up? I'll wait'till you eat some."
"I'on need no pig feet to get m'bells rangin'!"
"I'on't believe it Lucas ... " She walked up close to him as he backed up scratchin', nervous, gulping. "... what you think happen if I touch you ... anythang?"
"You touch it ... you gone fin' out! It still work! I may not work it to death! But when I say i's time to work... I can get it workin'!"
"Come show me Lucas ..." She grabbed his hand pulling him towards that door she knew was his bedroom.
"Aaah shit now! You come to get you some Johnny Poke! Well i's gone take mo'than them pig feet for that. All them men you been wit-..."
"Lucas... I swear fo'God I ain't been with all them men you think. One - yeah ... but I was lonely. And it was years after you had gone. You don't know how many nights I lay awake, praying that night, you gone come home - and make everything okay again. Like it was, when you use to come home. You should'nah left me Lucas Henry, I needed time to grow up - that's all. Time to wake up and see the light. Back then, I'ain't know what I was doin'. Life too short Lucas ... I done paid ... Lord knows I done paid. Your boys... they hate me Lucas. They - they blame me - for - for losing they daddy ... and everyday - I had to face - that is was true." She began to cry.
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