Iron Will (Grizzly Encounters Book 1)

by Kris Norris

  Cullen moved in beside Lucas. “There’s a reason we don’t go wandering around in fur, other than the usual risks.”

  “You mentioned something about it increasing the need.”

  She glanced at his crotch then back up, forcing herself to swallow, only to end up coughing when she imagined talking Cullen’s cock in her mouth. Playing with Lucas had only succeeded in increasing her desire to have both men surrender to her. Only this time, she wanted to have more than just a taste of either of them. She wanted to devour them. Wanted to know she could take both of them over the edge. Make them as wild and helpless in their need for her as they made her with nothing more than a smile or a touch.

  Cullen growled, the tips of his canines showing beneath his upper lip. “Careful, sweetheart. Or I might forget you haven’t eaten in a while and that this room isn’t near warm enough to strip you down.”

  She grinned, leaning against the counter. “Pretty sure you two can keep me warm, and who said I was hungry for food?”

  Lucas grabbed Cullen’s elbow when the man took a step forward. “Perimeter check, first. Then, we can play. Besides, you did promise our girl she could see your other half. And I could use your bear’s senses out there to ensure no one followed us.”

  Hollis snagged her lower lip between her teeth, worrying it for a few moments before letting it slip free. “So, you’re both going to…shift? Here? Now?”

  “Isn’t that what you wanted? To see our animals?”

  “Of course, I just… You’re not the only ones feeling needy. Once you get naked…” She moistened her lips. “Not sure you’ll make it out the door, after all.”

  Lucas clenched his jaw. “Damn, Hollis.” He blew out a few shaky breaths. “Though, you have a point. Neither Cullen nor I have a lot of control left where you’re concerned, not to mention each other.” He tightened his grip on Cullen when the man tried to move toward her, again. “As much as I want to jump right in…safety, first. Cullen will wait until we’ve got a bit of distance between us before he shifts. But I promise we’ll both put on a show once I’m certain we can play without worryin’ about you getting hurt.”

  A hint of disappointment settled in her gut. While she commended their integrity, waiting even a minute longer to touch them seemed more like torture than concern.

  Cullen smiled smugly, making her wish she could take the thought back. “We’ll make it up to you. Promise. But Lucas is right. Your safety means more to us than anything else. And our bears won’t truly relax until they’ve searched the area. But once we’re back…” He let his gaze travel the length of her. “I suggest you grab a snack while we’re out because you’re going to be very busy.”

  He turned, marching purposefully toward the door, only to stop halfway out. He glanced back at her. “If anyone other than us comes through this door…”

  She hitched out one hip as she crossed her arms over her chest. “I didn’t suddenly forget how to fend for myself.”

  His mouth twitched as his gaze dipped to her belt then up to the bruising on her face. “Keep those Colts handy, sweetheart.”

  She smiled sweetly at them. “Just don’t keep me waitin’ or I might put those healing capabilities of yours to the test.”

  Cullen laughed then headed out.

  Lucas shook his head. “Be patient with us, darlin’. We know you’re tougher than nails, but…this is all new to us, too. And we’re protective by nature. But where you’re concerned…” He whistled. “You’re a whole other level.”

  Warmth blossomed in her chest. “Must you always know what to say to gain the upper hand? Go. I’ll be fine.”

  He nodded, looking as if he didn’t want to take the last few steps out of the cabin, before grunting and striding off. The door rattled closed, the sudden silence a bit unnerving. While she’d spent the majority of the last four years alone, this felt different. As if she’d just shut out a piece of herself.

  Hollis groaned inwardly. If she’d known mating with the men would make her this emotional, she might have simply shot them, instead. She smiled at the thought then turned her attention to readying the cabin. But even after lighting the oil lamps, fixing the bed, and using some lukewarm water to clean herself up, the boys hadn’t returned.

  An unsettling feeling coiled low in her core as she tugged her camisole back over her head and wrapped herself in a blanket, relaxing into one of the few chairs scattered around the room. She’d been experiencing sporadic cramps since the men had left, and the new position seemed to help ease the jarring ache. She glanced at her pistols resting beside her on a small table but resisted drawing one out and laying it across her lap. Just because Lucas and Cullen weren’t back yet didn’t mean there was any reason to worry.

  She clenched her fists, watching the light start to fade beyond the window, before succumbing to the nervous roil through her stomach and palming one of her Colts. She’d give the men another ten minutes before changing into her clothes, again, and going in search of them. Just because they were shifters didn’t mean they couldn’t be killed. And she’d never forgive herself if she’d simply sat there, waiting, when she could have been helping.

  Time seemed to drag by, nothing but crickets sounding through the cabin. Hollis fidgeted in the seat until the voice in her head started shouting at her. She pushed to her feet, letting the blanket fall in a puddle around her. She grabbed her clothes, quickly dressing then tugging on her boots. She’d just clipped on her belt when muffled voices sounded outside.

  Hollis drew her gun, leveling it toward the doorway. A horse whinnied beyond the closed slab, followed by loud footsteps on the wooden veranda surrounding the cabin. The handle rattled then twisted, Lucas nearly tumbling through as he balanced Cullen against his shoulder. Blood covered Cullen’s shirt, the soaked fabric leaving a trail on the floor.

  Fear stopped her cold for two agonizing heartbeats, before her training kicked in. She holstered her gun then rushed over to the table, sweeping everything off it as she motioned to Lucas. The man trudged forward, placing Cullen’s back on the hardwood surface, then working his way down his mate’s body until Cullen was lying flat across the top. Cullen groaned, his head lolling to one side, his eyes never opening. She turned and retrieved her bag, thankful she’d restocked it with what few supplies she’d had left before they’d ventured out.

  Lucas caught her by the shoulders when she spun around, waiting until she made eye contact. “Easy, darlin’. It’s not nearly as bad as it looks.”

  She scoffed. “So, he’s not unconscious and bleedin’ out as we speak? Because it sure as Hell looks like that.”

  She shook her head, pushing past Lucas until she reached Cullen. Half his shirt was torn into frayed lines, the rest soaked through. She opened the sides and stared at two puckered holes in his shoulder and upper chest, both still oozing blood.

  “Damn it.” She glanced up at Lucas when the man stopped on the opposite side. “I don’t understand. I thought you said you boys shift when you get hurt, like you did when you got hit with that spike.”

  Lucas released a weary breath. “Usually, yes. But the bullets are still lodged somewhere inside. If he shifts…”

  She cursed, focusing on Cullen, again. “They’ll be trapped. They could interfere with his mobility or cause chronic infection or even lead poisoning.”

  “Even we have limitations. He’s undergone a few partial shifts to keep the bleeding manageable—as you probably noticed by the rips in his shirt—but he needs those bullets removed. Then, his bear can take over…heal the wounds.”

  Hollis didn’t miss the strained tone of Lucas’ voice or the tight press of the man’s lips. He was scared, even if he tried not to show it. But it wasn’t just fear she sensed. Every twitch of his muscles confirmed that he blamed himself for allowing Cullen to get shot.

  “I’ll see what I can do. Please remove the rest of his shirt while I get everything ready.”

  She dragged the small table over as Lucas juggled Cullen’s w
eight, gently shifting him around until he’d removed the rest of the ruined cloth. Then, he pulled off the man’s boots and unclipped his belt.”

  She smiled her thanks, placing her instruments and a bowl of water on the table. She wet a length of cloth, softly cleaning Cullen’s wounds. “You two were gone a long time. I was just about to come lookin’ for you. What happened?”

  Lucas clenched his jaw. “We were only going to check the perimeter, but then, Cullen picked up on a scent. His damn Kodiak kept pushin’ him, taking him farther away. We’d gone halfway back to where we saw those men before his bear finally stopped, even though the trail had gone cold for a few miles. Took me ten minutes to convince his grizzly to shift. I thought we were in the clear, but just as we mounted up to return, that group of men appeared over a rise, shootin’. Cullen got clipped before I could do more than fire off a few rounds.”

  Hollis nodded, probing at the holes. “Is that your way of telling me we might have visitors?”

  Lucas’ expression hardened, his lips nothing more than a thin pink line. “You don’t have to worry about that. No one’s going to hurt you or Cullen. Not again.”

  Hollis readied a cloth with some chloroform, holding it over Cullen’s mouth and nose as she met Lucas’ firm gaze. She didn’t need any enhanced senses to guess what had happened. “You killed them, didn’t you? All of them.”

  Lucas didn’t speak, merely stared down at Cullen.

  “This wasn’t your fault, Lucas.”

  “Right. Not my fault.”

  Hollis sighed, motioning to the cloth. “Can you hold this for me while I remove the bullets?”

  He moved to Cullen’s head, taking the cloth from her then mimicking her position. It wasn’t until she’d disinfected the instruments as best she could, Lucas broke the uneasy silence between them.

  “I’m sure you think I’m a monster for killin’—”

  “No. I don’t.” She lifted her gaze to his. “They were outlaws. Men like that don’t have any honor. Any respect for anyone other than themselves. They simply take what they want, regardless of who gets hurt.” She focused on Cullen’s shoulder, again. “There’s no loyalty. You’re just unwanted baggage. A responsibility they drag around with them until it’s no longer worth their while. Then, they leave and never look back.”

  Lucas touched her arm. “Are you okay?”

  She pushed the unwanted memories out of her mind, nodding at Cullen. “You don’t have to apologize for protectin’ the people you love. And you’re the farthest thing from a monster I’ve ever met.” She cleared her throat. “Please hold that still until I’m done.”

  Lucas frowned but did as she asked, remaining silent as she worked on Cullen’s injuries. Thankfully, the bullets hadn’t ricocheted too much, though the one in his upper chest was deeper than she’d hoped. She went slowly, meticulously removing all the fragments then stitching up the various layers of muscle and tissue. Shadows danced across the floor, all semblance of light gone beyond the windows when she finally straightened. She stared down at the slashes of black thread against his skin, finally covering the wound with a square of white gauze.

  She tried to ignore the way her hands shook as she secured the final bandage in place. “That’s all I can do, other than watch him for signs of a fever and give him medicine for the pain once he wakes up. But I have a feeling you’ll say he doesn’t need any of that. I probably didn’t even need to stitch him, but I couldn’t leave…”

  Lucas removed the cloth, joining her on the other side before wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight to his chest. “You did great. And you can ask him once he wakes up. Okay?”

  She nodded, aware that if she tried to answer him, it would most likely come out as incoherent sobs. In all the time since she’d struck out on her own as a doctor, she’d never had to treat anyone she was intimately connected with. And just seeing him lying there—skin pale, eyes shut, his blood staining her hands—left her feeling hollow. As if she’d removed a part of herself along with the bullets. Another shiver raked through her, forcing her to clench her jaw in order to keep from screaming.

  Lucas tightened his hold, brushing his lips along her neck. “He’s going to be fine, thanks to you. Promise.”

  She swallowed past the thick ball of emotion in her throat, pulling free of his hold before making her way to the sink. She pumped in more water, washing Cullen’s blood off her hands before finally daring to meet Lucas’ gaze across her shoulder. “It won’t be my skills that save him. Most men would die of infection from having me open them up like that. His bear is what will save him.”

  Lucas frowned. “Hollis. Do you have any idea what it is you really do? How much respect we have for you?”

  “Respect doesn’t mean much if I can’t save him.” She waved her hand, cutting off any reply. “Let’s just move him into the bedroom. I put down some blankets earlier. He should be more comfortable until he wakes up.”

  “Right, and we have fifteen hundred pounds of pissed off Kodiak on our hands.”

  Her mouth gaped open. “Fifteen hundred pounds?”

  Lucas flashed her a wicked smile. “I did mention he was larger than my grizzly.”

  “I thought you were joking after seeing your animal. Didn’t think a bear could get any larger.”

  “Don’t worry. He’s still Cullen beneath the fur.”

  She nodded, not sure what else to say. Lucas shuffled Cullen into his arms, lifting him off the table then moving him across the room and into the adjoining space. She’d thought about offering to help, but if Lucas found the feat difficult, he didn’t show it—carrying Cullen as easily as the man had carried her up from the river.

  Cullen groaned as Lucas positioned him on the bed, the skin across his brow creasing. Lucas bent low, dropping a kiss on his forehead then drawing his finger across Cullen’s jaw before stepping back. He waved Hollis forward, smiling at her when she eased onto the edge of the bed. She brushed back Cullen’s hair from his face, still fighting against the sick feeling in her stomach. If anything happened to him…

  Lucas sat behind her, enfolding her in his arms. “Nothing’s going to happen to him.”

  “What if I didn’t do enough? Or too much? I’ve never had to cut that deep before. What if I did more damage than the bullets? Or I missed some of the shrapnel?” She let her head bow to her chest. “Christ, what if you hadn’t been able to make it back here in time?”

  “Then, his bear would have seized control when it had no other choice, regardless of the consequences.” He tucked some of her hair behind her ear, smoothing his lips along her skin. “But it knew you’d fix them both. That’s why it hasn’t broken free, yet. It trusts you. And you’ve done more than enough. But something tells me this isn’t just about Cullen. That it goes deeper.”

  She shrugged, choosing just to sit there, wrapped in Lucas’ arms. She didn’t want to think about why she’d pushed herself to become a doctor. Why she couldn’t fail the one time her mates might actually need her help. She just wanted Lucas to hold her. Tell her everything would be okay, whether he believed it or not.

  “Hollis.”

  She relaxed against him, suddenly tired. This wasn’t the homecoming she’d pictured. She waved at Cullen. “Shouldn’t we strip him down? So, it’s easier for his bear to make the transition?”

  Lucas chuckled. “I’d be worried you were going to pounce on him if it weren’t for the restlessness I sense. The jumbled images inside my head I know aren’t mine. There’s something you’re not telling us. What you said before you tended his wounds… Made it sound as if you have some personal experience.” He sighed when she tensed. “But I’ll let it go, for now. Don’t think we’re done discussing this, though.” He released his hold. “Now, help me get our mate naked.”

  Hollis smiled her thanks, wishing it was sex they were getting ready for. But every shift of Cullen’s body dragged a throaty groan from him, reminding her they could still lose him. That she could still fai
l like she had so long ago.

  Lucas glanced at her, arching his brow as he lifted Cullen. She didn’t speak as she removed his pants, watching as Lucas eased him back down, then tucked the blanket around him before straightening. An uneasy silence stretched between them as Hollis went into the other room, cleaning up as best she could before fetching a small basin of water. Lucas moved aside when she returned, allowing her access so she could gently dab Cullen’s face. Despite the pale cast of his skin, there was no denying the heat burning beneath his flesh.

  She moistened her lips. “He’s warm.”

  “It’s just temporary.”

  “If it were anyone else, I’d call it what it is. A fever. Which you know as well as I do is the first sign of infection. What if me operating on him did something to his bear? What if he can’t shift?”

  “Hollis. Darlin’. Breathe. You did great. Shifters sometimes get fevers when they’re having trouble mergin’ with their animal, which is most likely a side effect of the chloroform. In fact, I expect he’ll open his eyes any moment now and tell us both to bugger off. He’ll be fine.”

  She stood, tapping her finger against Lucas’ chest. “You don’t know that. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

  Lucas frowned, huffing when she moved over to the far side of the room. “I’m not. You removed the bullets. And seeing as he didn’t outright die during the procedure, I think it’s safe to assume he’s going to be okay. He just needs a bit of time to wake up enough to make the transformation.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “Really? Well, forgive me for not having the blind faith you seem to have. Because he promised we’d always be safe. That he’d always protect us. But he wasn’t there. He didn’t have to watch her die, all the while trying to stop the bleedin’. Trying to fix her. So, don’t stand there and tell me Cullen’s going to be fine when all I can do is sit here and feel him burn up beneath my touch.”

  The bed creaked. “Fix who?”

  She snapped her head around, staring at Cullen as he levered himself up enough to lean against the headboard, his eyes not quite focused, but open. Relief washed through her, and she stumbled over to him, sinking against his right side when he lifted that arm. She held on tight, mindful not to touch him close to his wounds, as she let his scent slowly surround her. Purge the doubts she’d allowed to fester inside her.