The Crux of Honor

by Paula Mowery

  “Oh, wait just a minute.” He pulled a slip of paper from his pocket. “Here. You’ll need these codes and password for the wireless Internet.”

  She accepted it. “I hadn’t even thought about that. I’ll definitely need to help with bills like this.”

  Kevin put up his hand. “Stop. It’s included with my phone and cable. It won’t be extra. Besides, some of your school stuff requires Internet, right?”

  She nodded.

  “All righty, then. And, I added my cell. Text or call anytime.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Now, scoot. Study.”

  She chuckled and ascended the stairs.

  * * *

  Kevin meandered to the den at the back of the house and settled into his chair. He aimed the TV remote but paused as his phone buzzed. He glanced at the screen. Eric.

  “Hey, Eric. What’s up? My weekly invite to church?”

  “Well, that too. But, I needed to pass along some news.”

  “Okay. I’m all ears.”

  “I’m moving to Knoxville. I’ll be joining a practice up there.”

  “Wow, congratulations. You sound stoked about it.”

  “I really am. I think it’s going to be just right for me and for Bella.”

  “Bella? Isn’t that the girl you dated some while at UT?”

  “Yep. We’ve stayed in touch through phone and Internet.”

  “I see.”

  “Another reason I called is to tell you Dr. Tarwater really wants to talk with you about the possibility of you working with him and then taking over.”

  “Whoa. How did that kind of offer come up when I haven’t even seen him yet?”

  “He’s asked about you. He said he’s felt the Lord’s leading in this. I think you need to meet with him. You’re truly a better fit than I would have ever been. You’ll be hearing from him, probably first thing Monday”

  “Wow. Okay.” Was this the nudge he’d been waiting for?

  “And, now for that invite. I only have a couple of weeks before I’m in Knoxville for good.”

  “Well, I hate to leave Chelsea.”

  “What?”

  “Long story. Chelsea moved in to my upstairs.”

  “Really? Is that going to be a bit awkward, considering you’re still in love with her?”

  “I’m not... No. I’ll fill you in some other time.”

  “If it helps any, I think Chelsea’s been attending the small Community Baptist Church.”

  “I might see you tomorrow.”

  “Good.”

  “And, Eric?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Call me when you propose.”

  Laughter roared through the phone. “Yeah man. You’ll be the first to know.”

  The call ended, but Kevin continued to sit in the silence. Dr. Tarwater really wanted him for his successor? What an honor from such a well-liked doctor and man. A Christian man at that. Kevin could learn so much from Dr. Tarwater. Now he was eager for Monday morning to arrive.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Kevin could hardly wait for his ER shift to end. Dr. Tarwater planned to meet with him at his office. When the clock finally landed on two o’clock, he raced to his car. He drove the couple of blocks to Dr. Tarwater’s office and pulled into a parking space. He turned off the engine and paused.

  Lord, You know I truly want to honor You. Lead me in the right way.

  He hopped out and nearly sprinted to the door. Inside he stepped to a small window. “Hi, I’m Dr. Kevin Alley. I’m here to see Dr. Tarwater.”

  The fiftyish woman with curly hair and dark glasses smiled sweetly. “Why, of course. If you’ll just have a seat. He’s finishing up with a patient.”

  Kevin nodded and eased into a padded chair. He pulled his phone out and checked for messages. Movement caught his attention. Dr. Tarwater escorted an Amish couple from the examining area. The man plunked a black felt hat on his head. “Thank you.” A pale-faced little boy peeked over the man’s shoulder.

  “Take care. God bless.” Dr. Tarwater smiled and gave an emphatic nod. His eyes stayed fixed on the Amish family until they disappeared out the front door then he focused his attention on Kevin.

  He crossed the waiting room and extended his hand. “Kevin. So nice to see you.” He grinned and shook his head. “My, my, you’ve sure grown up from that scrawny little boy.” He chuckled. “Come back to my office.”

  Kevin followed the spry old doctor and sat down in the offered chair in front of his desk.

  “I’m guessing Dr. Snyder has spoken with you.”

  “Yes, sir. I’m truly honored you would consider me.”

  “Son, I’ve prayed about this and asked colleagues about you. This town needs someone with compassion. Not someone looking to become wealthy or famous. Not everyone is suited to administer medical care in a small town setting like Integrity. But, I think you have the qualities.” Dr. Tarwater stroked his chin. “I think we can work out a plan to see if this truly is a good fit for you. That is, if you’re interested?”

  “Yes, sir. I’m definitely interested.”

  “What I would like, should you choose to accept my offer, is for you to work alongside me for a year.” He gestured toward the door. “As you noticed, I have some patients from our neighboring Amish community. It is important to me that my successor continue this. There’s more to that part of the job. I’ve had to learn about their faith and ways and honor those. It is a matter of building trust.”

  “I understand. Before entering the military and serving those few years overseas, my whole world was right here. Growing up, I remember playing with a couple of Amish boys. It seemed so natural to me. Though many leave here and never return, I never contemplated that. I always knew I would come back to Integrity, even though my parents are gone.” Kevin swallowed at the lump in his throat.

  “Kevin, your mom and dad would be so proud of the man you’ve become.”

  “Thank you for saying so.”

  Dr. Tarwater squared his shoulders and sat up straight. “So, let me show you this salary break down for the first year.” He slid the paper across the desk.

  Kevin scanned the numbers and found them more than fair. What would he do should this arrangement not work out? His excitement overrode the slight hint of doubt.

  “Please understand me when I say there will be no hard feelings should you feel at the end of the year that this isn’t for you.” His tone was sincere. He inhaled through his nose, puffing out his chest and released the air in a sigh and an emphatic nod. “The only thing remaining now is whether you accept my offer.” The old doctor looked Kevin directly in the eyes. “The rewards will be more than what I can produce for you on paper.”

  Kevin shoved his hand across the desk. “Yes, sir. I accept.”

  Dr. Tarwater gripped his hand firmly and held it as he moved around the desk then embraced Kevin, patting his back. He rested his arm around Kevin’s shoulders and broke into a hearty prayer of thanksgiving and guidance. At the amen, Kevin almost floated out to his car. It would most likely be immature to jump up and down, but tonight he would share his news with Chelsea. There would be no time for a proper celebration since her class didn’t end until eight, but he planned to postpone that until she could share it.

  * * *

  Chelsea yawned and dragged herself up to Kevin’s house. She opened the door and Kevin stood just inside.

  “Hi. You remember you gave me a key, right? You don’t have to let me in.”

  “Yeah, I remember.” His eyes danced. “I just had to tell you something.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her into a small cozy den, gesturing toward the couch.

  She slumped into it and dropped her book bag onto the floor.

  “I’m sorry. I know you’ve got to be tired. But, I have to tell you about my meeting with Dr. Tarwater.” He proceeded to relate the story to her at warp speed. “So, what do you think?”

  Chelsea slid to the edge of the sofa. “Kevin, that’s so wonderful. I’m
proud of you.”

  His face beamed like a little boy. “We have to celebrate, but not tonight. You look like you need to fall into bed.”

  She nodded. “Pretty much.”

  “Could you spare the time to go out to eat tomorrow night?” His eyes widened.

  “I believe so. This looks like a slower week for school.”

  Kevin clapped his hands and clamped them together. “Good. Tomorrow evening it is.” He glanced at his watch. “Do you need a snack? I’ve got grapes.” He jumped to his feet. “I’ll grab you some to take up with you. And, a water?” he called over his shoulder.

  She shook her head and chuckled. “Sure. Thanks.”

  * * *

  Chelsea jolted awake. What was that noise? She sat up in bed and strained her ears. Low guttural groans drifted from downstairs. She jumped to the floor and flung on her robe.

  Descending the stairs, she stopped at the front door, inclining her ears. The muffled whines beckoned from behind her. As she neared Kevin’s bedroom, the sounds became louder. The door wasn’t closed completely and Chelsea tried to peek inside. The moaning increased.

  Could he be having a nightmare? She couldn’t bear the pain in his voice so she eased the door open. It took a few seconds for her eyes to adjust.

  Kevin’s head was pushed into the pillow and thrashed from side to side.

  She crossed to the side of his bed. “Kevin. Kevin,” she whispered. Patting his arm, she spoke louder. “Kevin, wake up.”

  His eyes popped open. He sprang to a sitting position and reached for her. She eased onto the bed and his arms wrapped around her. His whole body trembled and his breath came in pants. She leaned in and hugged him closer. His back was damp.

  After several moments, his breathing slowed and the tremors ceased. Chelsea pulled back and looked into his eyes as best as she could in the dim light. “Are you okay?”

  “I think so. Sorry to wake you. I thought maybe these nightmares were over.”

  “How long have you had them?”

  “Since returning from Iraq.”

  “Aw, Kevin. Come on. Let’s get you something to drink.” She grabbed his hand and tugged.

  “All right.” He staggered to the kitchen and plunked down into a chair.

  “Hot tea?”

  He nodded. His shoulders drooped.

  What could cause such a horrible nightmare?

  She pushed a mug in front of him and sat down next to him. “Want to talk about it?”

  He sipped his tea. “When Mom and Dad died, I wasn’t sure I’d make it. The only way to make my dream of becoming a doctor come true was to join the military. Then when I got to Iraq, I almost quit.” His chin quivered. “Let’s just say, I couldn’t fix some of those people. One of the older physicians there pulled me aside one day. He said, ‘Alley, this isn’t your normal practice. And just because you care doesn’t make you soft. It makes you human. That’s why you’ll make a good doctor.’” A tear slid down his cheek.

  Chelsea’s eyes misted. “Kevin, I had no idea.”

  He rubbed a hand down his face. “The nightmares aren’t as frequent in the last two months.”

  “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

  His eyes locked on hers. “Don’t be. Even with the nightmares, that old doctor was right. The experience was priceless.”

  Chelsea bowed her head and studied her mug, running her finger around the rim. “Then Mom was right. I would’ve held you back,” she mumbled.

  “What?”

  Chelsea’s head whipped up. “Nothing.”

  “That’s why?” His hand covered hers. “We’ll talk about this but not now. We need to get back to bed. We have work and then a celebration tomorrow evening.”

  We need to talk about how my life has been one mistake after another? I’d rather not ever get around to that discussion.

  “Right.” She snatched the mugs and sat them in the sink. “Goodnight.”

  “Chelsea?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Thanks.”

  She nodded.

  After crawling back into bed, she stared at the ceiling for a while.

  Lord, don’t let me ruin his life now.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Kevin rushed home to shower before the celebration dinner. He planned to take Chelsea to the Amish Daughter Restaurant. He hadn’t been since the last time he took Chelsea there.

  As he rounded the corner and stepped into the foyer, he glanced up the stairs. Chelsea stood at the top. A short blue skirt and white cap-sleeved sweater hugged her slender frame. Her short blond hair curled around her face. His pulse picked up.

  “Is this okay?”

  He swallowed. “Yes. You look very pretty.”

  She began her descent. “Sometimes I just want to wear something other than the slacks and shirts that are best for second graders’ little grubby fingers.”

  He chuckled. “I’m sure that’s true.”

  After they sat down in the homey restaurant, Kevin leaned across the table. “Now, order whatever you want. My treat.”

  Chelsea shook her head.

  “Don’t refuse. This is my celebration.”

  She grinned.

  A waitress took their order and rushed away. Kevin turned his attention to his dining companion. But Chelsea seemed focused past him to something or someone that must have taken her by surprise from the bewilderment suddenly painted across her face.

  He turned to investigate and his gaze locked on Chelsea’s mother, stomping toward their table.

  Mrs. Wilson stopped and crossed her arms. “I can’t believe you would so openly parade the fact that you are living in sin. You never cease to amaze me.” Her words hissed out.

  Hot lava boiled in Kevin’s gut. There was no stopping this eruption. “And you, Mrs. Wilson, never cease to amaze me.” He rose to his feet and glared into her eyes. “For your information, Chelsea has taken up residence on my second floor which was empty before. Since you got her evicted from her former apartment, she needed housing.” Kevin crossed his arms over his chest. “She will remain there despite any rantings you might conjure against it.” He waved to their waitress who stood slack-jawed a few feet away. “Please box our meals. We’ll be taking this dinner to go.”

  Mrs. Wilson jammed her fists on her hips. “I suppose you know she’s pregnant.”

  Kevin thrust his face closer to hers. “Shamefully for you, I know a lot of things about which you have no clue.” He stepped back and glanced at Chelsea. “Shall we?” He offered his arm.

  Chelsea jumped to her feet and wrapped her hand through his arm. He pulled her through the maze of tables to the front counter. He slapped down enough to cover their food and tip and grabbed their bagged meal.

  He finally slowed his pace when they neared the car. Whirling around to face Chelsea, he hung his head. “I’m sorry. I lost my temper.”

  She brushed her hand down his upper arm. “Thank you.”

  He grasped her hand, squeezed, and let it go. “Let’s go home and eat before this gets cold.”

  “Okay.” She stepped to the passenger door.

  He reached past her and opened it, handing her the bag as she sat down.

  As he jogged to the driver’s side, his stomach slowly calmed. Back at home they sat eating in silence until their food was almost gone.

  “Kevin, I don’t want to cause problems for you. I don’t want to wreck your reputation, too.” She stared at her lap.

  Kevin’s chest cinched. He lifted her chin with his fingers and gazed into her eyes. “I don’t care what your mother thinks. I don’t answer to her. And neither do you.”

  Tears brimmed her eyes.

  “Sweetheart.” The endearment slipped out but he continued, prodded by words that sprang to his mind. “You don’t answer to me, either. God alone has the right. Now, does God say that sex outside of marriage is a sin? Yes.” He clutched her hand. “But, you’re a Christian, right?”

  She nodded and mashed her lips tog
ether.

  “Then you must understand that Jesus paid for that sin and your requirement is asking forgiveness.”

  Tears spilled out onto her cheeks.

  “Chelsea, God isn’t like your mother.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I’ve watched her tear you down your whole life. It’s just not right.”

  She swiped at the tears with the back of her hands. “Your mama was so good to me. I was often jealous of you having a mom like that.”

  A lump lodged in Kevin’s throat and his eyes moistened.

  “What have I done to make her hate me?”

  Kevin laid his hand on her cheek and leaned in. “You haven’t done anything to warrant the way she treats you.”

  “I’ve ruined your celebration.”

  “No, you haven’t. Wait right here.” He jumped up and sprinted to the kitchen, opening the freezer. After scooping the dessert, he returned to the dining room, sliding a bowl to Chelsea.

  She studied the contents and grinned. “Chocolate with peanut butter ribbons. My favorite. You still remember.”

  “Of course I do.” There wasn’t much he had forgotten when it came to Chelsea.

  * * *

  Chelsea rushed to her doctor’s appointment after school. She signed in and barely eased into a waiting room chair before her name was called. In the exam room, the nurse spouted off the usual preliminary questions.

  “Are you pregnant?”

  “Yes.”

  The nurse glanced up for the first time.

  Heat spread up Chelsea’s neck and flushed her face.

  “How far along?”

  “I believe two months or so. I’m not exactly sure.”

  The nurse smiled. “We’ll see if we can narrow that down today.”

  After the exam and ultrasound, the doctor returned to Chelsea. “Looks like about ten weeks which would mean a mid-October due date.”

  Chelsea nodded.

  On the short drive home, she chewed her upper lip. What would an October due date mean for her job? She was barely making it, with her school paycheck spread over twelve months, the money she had saved from her extra job last summer, and some funds her dad had secretly deposited into her account. Her school loans would become due if she had to stop attending for very long. She could only hope for a normal delivery and a short leave. But, wait. Where would the baby go while she worked? Her stomach tightened. She shook her head, inhaled, and let the air out slowly. She pulled into the driveway and shut off the car, still mulling over how this would play out. Trudging up the front steps, she eased open the front door and then closed it behind her, leaning her back against it.