The Crux of Honor

by Paula Mowery

  “Really?” A weak smile crept onto Chelsea’s face. “Would you like to hold her?” She looked from Laura to him and added, “Dad?”

  “Could I?”

  Chelsea settled the baby in Mr. Wilson’s lap. He caressed Laura’s cheek and smiled.

  * * *

  Chelsea strolled back into the den after seeing her father out. She plopped onto the couch.

  “How are you?” Kevin’s gentle voice broke through her daze.

  “I’m completely numb, trying to process it all and make sense of everything.” She breathed in deep and let the air out. “But, I can’t wade through all of this right now. What’s important is to help Laura.” She straightened and looked directly at Kevin. “In light of this information, what do we do now?”

  Kevin paused. “I think we need to talk with your mother again.” He winced. “I know that doesn’t sound appealing, but we still know very little about your biological father other than he was Amish.”

  “You’re right. I’m not looking forward to it, but we must have those details.” She shook her head. “I still can’t believe she kept this from me, especially now. If anything happens to Laura...” Chelsea couldn’t bring herself to finish the sentence.

  “We’re going to figure this out.” He set his chin and his tone rang with determination.

  Her cell phone buzzed. Who could that be? She glanced at the screen. Mother? She answered though her voice was hesitant.

  “Chelsea.”

  “Yes.”

  “Your father told me about meeting with you.” Her voice was somber.

  “Yes.”

  “I know you probably need more information to be able to help Laura.”

  “You’re right. I do.”

  “His name was Abram Miller. I’m not sure about much of his family history, but I believe Dr. Tarwater knew them.” She spoke in a low voice, unlike her normal tone when addressing Chelsea.

  “Thank you. Mother, why?”

  “Chelsea, I can’t answer that completely. I suppose I ended up transferring the bitterness and shunning I endured on to you. That was wrong.”

  There was silence for several moments. Chelsea’s heart ached. She wanted to lash out and hurt her mother like she had inflicted upon her all these years. But, somewhere, down deep, rays of understanding illuminated another path.

  “Mother, could I bring Laura over for Christmas?”

  Her mother sobbed. “Please do. And, bring Kevin.” She sniffed. “Chelsea, I...I mean...”

  “Mom, we’ll work through it.”

  “Yes.”

  “We’ll see you Christmas Day.”

  The call ended and Chelsea stared at the phone. “I didn’t expect that call.” She met Kevin’s gaze. “Hope you don’t have plans for Christmas.”

  His brows rose and he shook his head.

  “The three of us are invited to my parents.”

  “Are you okay with that? That’s just five days from now.”

  “I don’t know, but we have to move on from here somehow.” She sighed.

  Kevin winked at her. “Then I guess we have plans for Christmas.”

  A tingle wiggled down her back. She silently scolded herself for her reaction to this honorable man.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Kevin scurried to Dr. Tarwater’s office at the lunch break and rapped on his open door. The older man looked up from the file on his desk and motioned Kevin in. “It’s been a busy morning, partner.”

  “Whew. Don’t I know it.” Kevin massaged the back of his neck to loosen a kink. “Sir, I wanted to see if you might have some information on an Amish family.” Kevin spelled out the latest details about Chelsea’s heritage.

  Dr. Tarwater slipped his glasses off his face and leaned on his elbow. “Abram Miller, you say? Yes, I have treated members of that family.” He pursed his lips and tapped them with a pointer finger. “I faintly recall an issue with one of the children in the family. Wait just a moment. We don’t have everything computerized yet.” The doctor jumped up and bolted out the door.

  Kevin’s pulse quickened. This could be the answers he’d been searching for.

  Dr. Tarwater breezed back in and plunked down in his chair. He opened a manila file, slid his glasses on, and scanned several pages. “Ah ha. This is it.” He pointed to a paragraph. “Now, let’s see.” He mumbled as his eyes shifted across the page. “Here’s some documentation. No real definite diagnosis. But, I did note here that there seemed to be some hereditary cases in these Amish families.” Dr. Tarwater ripped a sheet from his notepad and scribbled out something then handed it to Kevin. “You understand that I can’t share their health history or anything about their case. But, this is a website for an organization that works specifically with hereditary diseases and conditions within the Amish community. They have an extensive list.”

  Kevin glanced at the web address and nodded. “Great. Maybe we can get somewhere now. Thanks.” He hopped to his feet.

  “Let me know what you find out.”

  “I will. Thanks again.”

  No time afforded itself for his research until later at home after supper. He propped his laptop on his knees and typed in the address. “Dr. Tarwater still had records from the Miller family and remembers a similar case like Laura’s. I’ll have to still do some searching, but at least I don’t feel like I’m groping in the dark.”

  “Kevin, thank you so much for working so hard to help Laura. You’re going above and beyond the call of duty.”

  “Don’t put me on a hero pedestal. I’m sure to topple off.”

  “Not in my book,” she mumbled.

  “Did you call the school today?”

  “Yeah. They were fine with holding my position until after the Christmas holidays.” She looked down and patted Laura’s belly, smiling at the baby sprawled on a blanket in the floor. Laura kicked in response.

  Kevin’s chest tightened. He forced himself to concentrate on the information on his computer. This mystery condition needed definition and a treatment secured.

  * * *

  Kevin sat back and glanced at the clock on the den wall. Two a.m. Again he studied the diagnosis that seemed to fit Laura’s symptom set. His chest cinched and his heart hurt. The words, “no known effective treatment,” glared from his laptop screen.

  He wouldn’t mention his findings to Chelsea until he consulted Dr. Tarwater. He closed down his laptop and trudged to his bed. He slept off and on until his alarm sounded. Rushing through the shower and breakfast, he left early, hoping to speak to the wise old doctor before patients arrived.

  On his way to the door, Chelsea stopped him. “Everything all right? You seem distracted.”

  “Sorry. I was up late. And, I want to get to the office early to talk to Dr. Tarwater.” He mustered a smile.

  The crinkles in her forehead proved he wasn’t convincing, but she accepted his excuse. “Okay. I’ll see you for supper. Any requests?”

  “No. Everything you make is great.”

  “Do you mind if I make some Christmas sugar cookies? Thought we might take some to my parents’ house.”

  “Please do. You know you’re welcome to use anything in that kitchen, especially if I get to sample.”

  Her face broke into a grin.

  Kevin trotted to his car. The cold wind that met him chilled him instantly. He should have warmed up his vehicle ahead of time, but he had only one goal all morning and that was to get to work and consult with Dr. Tarwater.

  Finally the frost fell away enough to drive the short distance to the doctors’ office. He raced inside and heaved a huge sigh of relief when he met his mentor in the lobby.

  “Dr. Alley, you’re eager to get started today, I see.”

  “I needed to speak with you before our appointments begin.”

  The old doctor’s face turned serious. “All right, son. Come on back.”

  They settled in Dr. Tarwater’s office and Kevin wasted no time, jumping right to the subject eating away at h
im. “I used the website to research possible diagnoses for Laura.”

  Dr. Tarwater leaned his elbows on his desk and steepled his fingers. “By your demeanor, I suppose you discovered something.”

  “Yes, sir. There’s a disorder which is specifically carried in the Amish. It’s called GM3 synthase deficiency.” Kevin handed a printout to the doctor. “If you notice, Laura has the same symptoms described there. The only thing I haven’t checked for are the dark freckle-like spots on her arms and legs.”

  Silence fell thick in the office as Dr. Tarwater scanned the printed pages. As he flipped the last page, his head jerked up and his eyes focused with intensity. “There is no known treatment.”

  Kevin swallowed at the lump in this throat and nodded. “I haven’t said anything to Chelsea. I wanted to discuss this with you first and see if this could be right. I could be wrong. I don’t want to needlessly worry Chelsea.”

  Dr. Tarwater stroked his chin. “Unfortunately, this seems familiar. After we looked up the Miller family in my records the other day, I read through a few of the other files. I just had this shadow of a memory concerning a couple of Amish babies I’d treated in the past. Or, tried to treat.” Dr. Tarwater blinked as if staving off tears. “There were two toddlers with similar symptoms who...” He paused. “We lost them before they even made it to seven years old.”

  Kevin’s stomach knotted. “Dr. Tarwater, I just can’t tell Chelsea. How could I do that?”

  “She deserves to know. Laura is your patient.”

  “But, I can’t bear...”

  “She’s fortunate to have you.”

  “Why? What kind of a doctor am I? I will have to tell her there is no treatment.”

  “I didn’t mean she was fortunate to have you as a doctor, though that is a good thing, too. I meant, someone who will love her through whatever happens.”

  Kevin jolted slightly at his words, but he couldn’t argue.

  “And, Dr. Alley, hope is never lost. No matter what a diagnosis is. You and I serve under a greater Physician.” Dr. Tarwater smiled.

  * * *

  Chelsea rocked Laura, studying her angelic face. Kevin would be home soon and supper awaited, staying warm in the oven. The house held the vanilla aroma of sugar cookies.

  Though she expected him, she still jumped when Kevin charged through the front door.

  He smiled when their gazes met. “Mmm, I smell cookies.”

  “Yep, sugar cookies with green and red icing, right, Laura?” Chelsea stroked her chin and Laura’s eyes widened.

  “How was Laura’s day?” Kevin’s expression turned more serious.

  “It’s been a calm one. I believe your advice to keep things low-key might be working.”

  His eyes studied Laura with intensity.

  “Are you hungry?”

  He redirected his gaze to her and his face softened. “Sure am. I didn’t get lunch today. Just crackers at my desk. I guess everyone was trying to get in since we’re closed tomorrow for Christmas Eve. I’m grateful for a nice long weekend.”

  Chelsea rose.

  “May I?” Kevin held out his arms for Laura.

  “Oh, sure. She might need a diaper but I can get that...”

  “No, I got it.” He strolled off toward her room and the changing table in full conversation with the baby.

  She chuckled and turned to the kitchen. Several moments passed and Kevin hadn’t emerged with Laura.

  Chelsea walked into the bedroom. “Supper’s going to get cold. Hey, what’s up in here?”

  Kevin glanced up. “We’re on our way.” He seemed to be examining Laura.

  “Is something wrong?”

  “No.” He quickly fastened her clothes back together. “Just checking for possible dark patches of pigment.”

  “Because?”

  “You know, I’ve been researching possible diagnoses. One had these dark patches.”

  “Did you find any?”

  “Actually, no.” Kevin scooped Laura up and smiled. “Let’s eat.”

  Chelsea’s stomach fluttered. There were things he wasn’t telling her. But, did she really want to know?

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Chelsea was glad Christmas dinner was ready when they arrived at her parents’ house. Silent moments might prove awkward.

  Conversation over the meal transformed from pleasantries into Kevin and Chelsea’s current work status. Chelsea sat in awe that her mother would care.

  “Chelsea, would you help me get the kitchen in order?” Her mother stood behind the dining chair.

  “Of course.” Chelsea rose.

  “I’ll take this little rascal with me.” Kevin tweaked Laura’s nose and lifted her from her carrier. “Maybe some tummy time.”

  “Her blanket is in the diaper bag,” Chelsea called after them.

  Her father trailed Kevin and Laura like an eager puppy.

  Chelsea and her mother toted everything into the adjoining kitchen.

  “We’ll just stick all of this into the dishwasher. The leftovers—we can put lids on them and shove them into the refrigerator.”

  Chelsea nodded.

  When the work was done, her mother wiped the counter.

  Chelsea dried her hands. “Anything else we need to do?”

  “I think we’ve got it.”

  Chelsea turned and started for the family room.

  “Chelsea.”

  She stopped and whirled back around.

  “I’ve been thinking. I realize now you were a constant reminder that I had shamed my family. I didn’t want you to repeat my mistakes, but I didn’t know how to tell you properly.”

  The irony on repeating her mother’s mistakes screamed inside her head. “Mother, I always thought I had done something for you to hate me.”

  Mother’s chin quivered and tears rolled down her face. “I don’t hate you. I suppose I hated myself. I should have known better because of the pain my parents inflicted on me.” She hung her head.

  “I guess our only option is to start over from here.”

  Mother’s head jerked up. “Is that possible?”

  “I hope so.”

  “Chelsea,” Kevin called from the other room. The slight distress in his voice propelled her to the family room.

  The pink blanket was spread in the middle of the floor. Laura’s little body lay in the center, trembling.

  Chelsea rushed over and dropped to her knees. “Just when I think she’s past this, it happens again.”

  Kevin patted her hand. “This one isn’t as intense.”

  Seconds later, Laura’s limbs relaxed. Chelsea scooped her up and cradled her to her chest.

  * * *

  Kevin massaged the back of his neck. He was going to have to come clean on his research findings. But, his examination revealed no skin discoloration. Was he grasping? Chelsea deserved to know the truth.

  Mrs. Wilson crossed behind Chelsea, tiptoeing awkwardly across the floor in her heels. Suddenly, a crash resounded and Mrs. Wilson yelped. Kevin jolted at the glass-shattering sound. Chelsea blinked and her head jerked around. But Kevin’s eyes zeroed in on Laura. The baby showed no reaction to the loud sound. Not even a flinch.

  “Oh my, I’m so clumsy.” Mrs. Wilson shook her head as she bent to pick up pieces of a vase that she had knocked from the knickknack stand just outside the carpeted area.

  “I’ll get the broom. No harm done.” Mr. Wilson jumped to his feet.

  Laura blinked in reaction to his movement.

  “Chelsea, I don’t think Laura heard that.” Kevin slid around behind Chelsea. “Sit her up on your lap.” Kevin clapped hard close to the back of the baby’s head. “Did she blink?”

  Chelsea shook her head.

  Mr. Wilson returned with a broom and dust pan.

  “Could you do me a favor? Come over here and bang the broom handle and dust pan as hard as you can behind Laura’s head.”

  Mr. Wilson’s brows knitted, but he complied.

  Kevin positioned
himself directly in front of Laura. He nodded to Mr. Wilson. The thwack didn’t faze Laura.

  Kevin sat back on his heels. “I think she has a hearing loss.”

  “On top of everything else?” Chelsea’s voice rose in pitch.

  “Let me explain. This is yet another symptom of one of the disorders I researched. This may not be what I originally thought.”

  “And that’s a good thing?” Chelsea blurted.

  “Yes. Yes, it is.”

  * * *

  Chelsea trailed Kevin out of the audiologist’s office. “I need to understand why this is good news. Laura has a profound hearing loss.”

  Kevin whirled around. “It’s another piece of the diagnosis puzzle, and it points to a more positive one.” He took the carrier from her and proceeded to the car. “I’ll show you when we get home.”

  Chelsea crawled in the back with Laura. She was sure to fuss for a bottle before they made it home.

  At home, Chelsea settled Laura into her crib to finish her afternoon nap, then went to find Kevin in the kitchen.

  “Soda?”

  “Sure.” She accepted the bottle and twisted the top off.

  Kevin patted the bar stool next to him. “Here, let me show you these printouts.”

  She eased onto the stool.

  He pushed a page in front of her. “This is the first diagnosis that seemed to fit Laura’s symptoms.”

  She scanned the words, honing in on some highlighted phrases. ...Resistant to treatment with anti-seizure medications. It is unknown how long people with GM3 synthase deficiency usually survive.

  Chelsea’s pulse picked up. Tears blurred her eyes. She looked up and met Kevin’s gaze. “I don’t see a treatment for this.”

  Kevin shook his head. He handed her another printout. A smile spread across his face. “But, look at this one.”

  The pages contained highlighted phrases like the other one. She skimmed the words. Profound hearing loss...disruption of heart’s normal rhythm (arrhythmia) Seizures occur...often following acute stress. A number of cases have been misdiagnosed as seizure disorders. The primary need is for prompt diagnosis and cardiac monitoring. Treatment: Beta-blockers such as propranolol can help prevent arrhythmias... Severe cases...implantable defibrillators. Left stellate ganglion block or ablation has also been used.