Dad Bod

by Lily Kate

  No matter how long I live, I know this moment is critical. I have everything I need within arm’s reach. Everything I desire, everything I—

  She clenches around me, and my mind goes blank. My body reacts, primal, and I move against her, forcing myself to keep the pace slow, steady, despite her quiet pleas for more.

  “I’m not rushing this,” I grit out, easing entirely into Maggie. She gasps with the fullness of me, and somehow, miraculously, the perfect fit between us. “You feel incredible.”

  “I can’t...” she pants, a sob bubbling in her throat as she writhes against me, and it’s that jagged breath of hers that pushes me to give her more.

  To give her all she desires, to take her, to have her, to make her mine. I move quicker, pressing in and out, the push and pull between us as equally sweet as it is brutal. I need this, want this, but I can’t let this moment end.

  It’s everything I need, everything I’ve desired, and as we race one another toward the shattering of our souls, I worry about the cliff that’s sure to follow. It’s a long way down, and I’m not falling alone.

  The frenzy builds and ebbs, rising until Maggie tightens again, her fingers tearing at the sheets as I swallow her cries. We reach the depths together, the waves raging around us, over us, through us, yet there’s a sense of calm. Of utter serenity, the eye of the storm, as Maggie’s eyes flick open and latch onto my gaze.

  We hold there, together, and I lose track of time. I don’t remember how long it is before she collapses into my arms and we drift off to sleep together. I hear the shower flick on sometime in the early morning hours, and raise to an elbow when Margaret comes out, moonlight drenching her naked body.

  She slips back into her lacy things, eases into her clothes.

  “One more thing,” she says, brushing a kiss against my forehead. “I think we should keep things between us...quiet. For now.”

  “For now,” I promise. “But sooner or later...”

  “I know.”

  Then, without another backwards glance, she slips from the room and closes the door gently behind me.

  I lie awake for hours before I succumb to a shower and begin the process of cooking breakfast for the three sleepy girls beginning to rise in the next room.

  And, as three sleepy heads bob into the kitchen, following their noses toward the smell of eggs and coffee, it’s everything I can do not to pull Margaret into my arms and kiss her forehead. I settle for a gentle hand against her back as I pour her a cup of coffee, and the knowledge that she smells like me—my shampoo, my soap, my sheets—will have to be enough.

  Then she slips away to sit at the table with the little ones, smiling and laughing, her eyes catching mine above their heads.

  And this, I think, is how it should be.

  Chapter 26

  TYLER

  When Monday morning comes around, I find myself dreading it for the first time in a long while.

  I like to work; I enjoy it. For years, it’s been the only constant activity that keeps my mind busy. That stops my brain from wandering too far into places I don’t want it to go out of boredom.

  However, considering the weekend the four of us just had, it’s no surprise I feel differently this time around. I pull to the curb of Jess’s school, already disappointed that I haven’t run into Maggie yet today. I spent an extra few minutes stalling as I grabbed my coffee from Jax, but there was no sign of her. No sign of her in the school drop-off line, either.

  “Mila had to be at school early,” Jess quips from the backseat. “Is that who you’re looking for?”

  “Oh, er—yeah,” I say, embarrassed. “Say hello to her for me, will you?”

  “Say hello to her yourself!” She giggles. “Can she come over and work on homework tonight? I like to help her with math, and she helps me with art.”

  “Of course. Anytime.”

  “Maybe Maggie can read us some more of the book,” Jess wheedles. “Maybe three chapters.”

  “You know the rule is two, and we’ll have to see if she’s available,” I say, though I’m desperately hoping she’s up for a visit. “We don’t want to bother the Marshalls too much.”

  “You like her, don’t you?” Jess asks, her eyebrows furrowing together. “Maggie?”

  “I like both Maggie and Mila.”

  “But you really like Maggie. Adult-like.”

  I’ve made a promise not to lie to my daughter if at all possible, so I nod. “I do.”

  “That’s good. I had fun this weekend.”

  “Me too,” I tell her. “Now give me a kiss before you’re late.”

  As I watch her head into school, I turn over the realization in my head. I do like Maggie. A lot. I mean, I’ve already told her I love her, but the thing is...it’s more. Every second I’m away from her feels like a waste of time. A bitter remnant of the minutes we spend together. Even being in the same room with her—knowing she’s reading to the girls while I’m preparing a bedtime snack—it’s nice. It’s comfortable, and homey, and it’s exactly what I’ve been missing. Exactly what Jess has been missing.

  I drive back toward the inn, wondering if Maggie will ever feel the same way. I believe her when she says she cares for me, but she’s holding something back. She’s cautious, and I don’t blame her. Lucky for me, I’m patient when I want something badly enough.

  As I make the turn onto the road leading to the inn, the bookstore across the street catches my eye, and I stop the car early, pulling over to the shoulder to park. I sidle my way inside, noting it opened just minutes before. The shop is empty save for a woman behind the desk.

  “Good morning,” she chirps. She’s young and pretty, with a nice smile and a pleasant voice. “My name is Julia. Are you looking for something specific?”

  “Just browsing,” I say, shoving my hands in my pockets. “Actually, I need two gifts for six-year-old girls. Could you point me in the right direction?”

  “Absolutely.” She hums an indistinct tune, wandering across the store and pointing me to a colorful shelf. “Are these for your daughters?”

  “Yes,” I say, then correct myself. “Well, my daughter and her friend.”

  “Lucky girls,” she says with a smile. “Books are the best gifts. I’ll leave you to browse, but let me know if you need anything else.”

  As she moves away, I’m overwhelmed by the peacefulness in the space. It’s quiet, just a bit dusty, but neat as a button and welcoming. Windows allow bright light to shine over the wooden floorboards, with random stepladders strewn before the shelves.

  I peruse for a few long minutes, choosing several books at random that look like something Jess and Mila might enjoy. If nothing else, it’ll be an excuse for us to visit Mila and Maggie and deliver our gifts.

  I cringe, wondering what sort of man I’ve become—buying gifts for a little girl while hoping it’ll give me some quality time with her mother. Somehow, I suspect Mila will not be opposed.

  “Do you own this place?” I feign nonchalance as I bring my books to the counter.

  Julia scans one barcode. “Oh, no. Claire Vanderlin does—she owns half of this town.”

  “Doesn’t she own the inn? I’m staying there, thought I’d heard the name before.”

  “She sure does,” Julia says. Then, holding up the second book, she grins. “Great choices—your girls will love them.”

  I don’t correct her on the phrase your girls, instead trying it on for size. A family of four—Margaret, me, Mila and Jess. It sounds nice.

  “Do you get a lot of business in here?” I ask. “It’s quiet this morning.”

  A shadow crosses her face. “Not as much as I’d like. It’s such a beautiful little store; it’s a shame this place isn’t more popular.”

  “I agree. Say, if I wanted to get ahold of Claire, would you know how to contact her?”

  “It’ll be eighteen dollars and two cents,” she says, then frowns. “Claire?”

  I clear my throat. “My company has funds to make a dona
tion to a local business. My girls happen to love books—I was wondering if she’d be accepting—”

  “Oh, that would be so generous.” Julia cuts me off, giving me a bright smile as she packages the books in special gift wrapping. “Don’t tell her I told you this, but I think we could really use it. Someone called here the other day asking about Claire. I think they were interested to see if she’d sell the place.”

  “She isn’t selling, is she? Like you said, this place is gorgeous.”

  “Right! I thought the same thing, but...” she shakes her head. “I can’t deny the numbers in the books. Plus, Claire’s been mentioning retirement. If she wants to sell off a few of her assets, it only makes sense this could be the first to go...I’m sorry.” She stops abruptly. “That was too much information. I didn’t mean to whine.”

  I take the slip of paper with Claire’s number on it. “I’m going to see what I can do to help.”

  She smiles again. “Bring the girls with you next time. We have cookies for the kids!”

  I give her a wave, promising to bring the girls with me next time. Climbing back into the car, I sit and study the phone number for a second, debating the next course of action. Once I take another step forward, it’ll be too late to step back.

  My phone jolts me out of my reverie, and I look down to find a number I don’t want to deal with. But if I don’t answer Anastasia now, she’ll just call back later—more irritated.

  “Hello?” I ask, clipped.

  “It’s her, isn’t it?”

  “What?” I lean back in my seat and scan the inn. A sinking sensation forms in my gut. “Hello to you, too.”

  “Don’t give me that bullshit,” Anastasia snaps. “The reason you’re back home is Margaret Marshall.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I heard her voice; I called the inn.”

  “Yes, she works at the inn. What about it?”

  “You’re fucking her.”

  “Anastasia.” My voice is hard. “I asked you to marry me a hundred times. You left me for good. You left us—me and Jess. You have a boyfriend, or at least, you did the last time I saw you. I remember vividly because you showed up two hours late to pick up your daughter because you were waiting for him.”

  “Don’t get any ideas about staying in that godforsaken town.”

  “What is it going to take?”

  “What is what going to take?”

  “I want to move back. I want to move home, and I want to bring Jess with me.” I tell her, firmly. “She’s enjoying school here, and she has friends. My family is here. Don’t make this difficult.”

  “It’s because of her, isn’t it? You never stopped loving her.”

  “What will it take?”

  “You think a dollar amount will win me over?” Anastasia softens some, considering. “You can’t take my daughter away from me.”

  “I’m not going to stop sending you money, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

  Anastasia gives a horrified gasp, but it’s fake enough that she doesn’t try to justify it.

  “Think of a number,” I tell her. “Because if we have to go to court over this, you aren’t going to win.”

  Then I snap the phone shut.

  Before I get out of the car, I dial another number.

  “Claire,” I say, once a woman’s voice answers. “My name is Tyler Daniels, and we need to talk.”

  Chapter 27

  MAGGIE

  Halloween

  “When are you going to tell her?” Emily asks, straightening a pair of devil horns in the mirror. “You and Tyler have been dating what, a month now?”

  “A few weeks.” I zip up my orange jumpsuit and turn to face Emily. “Also, thanks a lot for ditching me for Luca tonight. After I agreed to be your date.”

  She makes a face. “Lucky for you, Luca volunteered. Otherwise, you would’ve never asked Tyler to the party. And anyway, don’t think you’re distracting me.”

  “Distracting you from what?”

  “Mila and Jess! They’re bound to figure out what’s happening between the two of you.”

  I survey myself in the mirror, costume and all. I’m dressed in an orange jumpsuit going as a prisoner, while Tyler Daniels has agreed to be my partner in crime at Claire’s Halloween party. He’s the cop. I’m the criminal. We drew straws.

  “I don’t know, I guess when we decide to make things official.”

  “How much more official do you need to make them?” Emily asks. “You’re all but living with each other.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “Fine. You’re right. You sleep apart every now and again, but everything else, you do together.”

  It’s hard to argue with Emily because she’s got a point. Ever since that first Cinderella sleepover, the four of us—me, Mila, Jess, and Tyler—have been spending nearly every free moment we have together.

  It started with Mila and Jess collaborating on homework in the evenings. Once they finished their work, we’d usually sneak a few board games into the nightly schedule. Then a snack. Then story time, and finally, once the girls got too drowsy to walk, we’d carry them to their separate beds. First thing in the morning, they’d meet for breakfast.

  More often than not, Tyler would sneak in a kiss goodnight while the girls brushed their teeth that’d set my body on fire. Nightly, I had to drag myself away from him, crawling back into my own, cold bed—wishing he’d crawl in next to me. Except for those rare nights when the girls would sleepover at a friend’s, or at grandma’s, and we’d blissfully have the time to ourselves.

  “It’s for the best,” I tell Emily. “The girls are getting along better than ever before, and I get the feeling that it’s the first time either of them have had a real best friend. I don’t want to upset them with something like this before the time is right.”

  “Are you sure this is about the girls?” Emily raises her eyebrows. “Because they seem to love spending every second they can together. I get the feeling that if you asked Mila whether she’s interested in gaining Jess as a sister, she’d fly over the moon with excitement.”

  “A sister?” I swallow. “I don’t know. Getting married is so...big.”

  “Tyler is head over heels for you. Where do you think this is going?” Emily clamps the curling iron to her hair. “He’s not keeping his feelings for you a secret—he wants to get married.”

  “I know.”

  “Have you said I love you?”

  “No.” I stick a hand on my hip, playing defensive. “He hasn’t asked me how I feel in a while.”

  “He shouldn’t have to ask. Does he keep telling you that he loves you?”

  “Yes.” It’s a grudging admission. “I know, I know. I should tell him it back. I think I love him, it’s just—”

  “You either do, or you don’t. Look, I’m all for taking things slow.” Emily gently unwinds the ringlet from the iron and surveys it critically, then she turns her eyes to mine. “I just want to make sure that you’re not being extra gun shy.”

  “I’m being cautious.”

  “Tyler might wait for a long time, honey, but you’re going to have to give him some sign that he’s got a place in your heart.” Emily glances at me in the mirror. “I know you’ve been hurt before, but then again, we all have. If you are going to throw yourself into this relationship, you can’t do it halfway. It’s not only unfair to Tyler, but it’s unfair to yourself.”

  “I owe it to Mila to take things slowly.”

  “You’ve never taken anything this slowly,” Emily says with a chagrined smile. “Plus, you two are practically living married, minus the separate finances and the separate beds. You think Mila won’t be affected if things flop now? Guess again.”

  I consider this, conceding with a nod that Emily has a point. “Fine, I’ll think about it. Maybe tonight...”

  “Don’t say anything if you don’t mean it.” Emily sets down the curling iron and moves closer to me, hooking my cos
tume closed in the back. “Just don’t ignore the way you’re feeling. Yes, it’s a good lesson for Mila to learn that she should be careful with her heart...but it’s also important for her to see that chances can pay off, and that real love is worth pursuing.”

  I swallow harder than I’d like because her words ring true.

  “These damn horns won’t stay put,” she says, bringing me back to reality as she adjusts her devil costume. “Do you have any spare bobby pins?”

  There’s a knock on my door, and I point out the bobby pins with one hand while rushing to open the door with my other hand. “Hi, mom,” I say. “You’re early.”

  “And you’re...a prisoner.”

  Her frown says everything she doesn’t about my costume.

  “It’s a joke,” I tell her. “Tyler’s going as a cop, and—”

  “Where are the girls?” she asks. “I hope they don’t get any ideas seeing you dressed like this.”

  I roll my eyes. “They’re playing over in Jess’s room. Thank you for coming to pick them up.”

  “I’ll return them at noon tomorrow. Shall I come to your room?” she asks pointedly. “Or his?”

  “Mom.”

  “Where will you be spending the night?” she presses. “Together, I assume?”

  “I’m going to pick up Mila at your house in the morning, and Tyler will pick up Jess. It’s just a work party. Tyler’s been staying at the inn—he’s coming with me and Emily and Luca. It’s fun.”

  “So the rumors aren’t true?”

  “What rumors?”

  My mother steps into my room and closes the door behind her. I notice Emily goes stone cold silent in my bedroom, probably hiding from the wrath that is my mother.

  “The rumors that you’re spending time together. Day...and night.” Her implication is clear, and there’s no real question to her words, so I don’t bother to deny it. “Do you really think you’re setting the best example for Mila?”