Rocked Under

by Hawkes, Cora

Feeling way out of my comfort zone I grabbed my drink and headed back to where there were other people. Wishful thinking? What did that mean? He bothered me. He bothered me big time and I didn’t need it. I needed to just see him as a friend, nothing more. I wondered if we had met in the usual way of someone introducing us if I would feel like this about him but I probably knew I would. From the moment I had seen him on the stage, I was a goner. I may as well join the fan club and wear the bloody shirt. Okay, so maybe he was like this tonight because he was a bit drunk but he got to me like nobody else ever had. I wondered if that was what was referred to as a chemical reaction, lust at first sight. There was no way I would even entertain the idea of love at first sight. I really didn't know how someone could love a person when they just met them.

  I remembered Ash saying that he didn't do the boyfriend thing but he made a great friend. I could believe it because although I was mad, it was only at myself for reacting to him so strongly when usually I was cool. Our talk on the way home earlier had shown me a side to him that was different to the side I saw when he’d been drinking and I liked him that way. I had felt sorry for him earlier when he told me about his mum, every child should have a mother.

  I got comfy on the couch and dazed into the TV. I had missed too much of the movie to get into it but at least it was something to pretend to watch whilst my mind went into

  overdrive. Scott came in after me and sat beside me but he didn’t touch me again, nor did he say much either. I finished my coke and made an excuse about getting an early night.

  ƀ

  Chapter Six

  Everyone was already sat at our table as I arrived in the cafeteria for lunch the next day. Even Adam was there waiting for me, watching me as I walked towards them and then my step faltered as another pair of intense hooded eyes watched my every move. Would I ever get used to that stare? Adam stood and put his arms around me before kissing me thoroughly in front of everyone. I heard cheering and wolf whistles in the background and I knew that this was a show of possessiveness on Adams part. I didn’t like that but I let it go while Scott was watching us.

  "Hey, babe," he smiled as he pulled away from me.

  "Hi,” I replied with a strained smile as he kissed my forehead.

  I sat and chanced a peek at Scott who was looking away at something else. He seemed in a bad mood and I could see the muscles in his jaw clenching. Hangover maybe?

  "So I take it you guys had a good time last night?" Meg wiggled her eyebrows up and down. She had been too engrossed with the film last night to bother to ask.

  "Yeah,” I glanced at Adam.

  "Aw, you two make a cute couple," she said in her Tweety-Pie voice.

  Halfway through lunch a girl sashayed in and caught my attention, mainly because of what she was wearing, or wasn’t wearing. She was wearing a mini skirt, or was it a belt? I looked closer, yep, a mini skirt trying to be a belt. A skimpy top that showed off her tanned tummy and ample cleavage. Her eyes zeroed in on Scott as she went out of her way so that she could walk past him. I smothered a chuckle, she was being so obvious and looked bloody ridiculous too. I shook my head, the lengths that girls would go to was hilarious and cringe-worthy for other girls to watch.

  "Hi, Scott," she purred as she got near him, but as she was about to walk past, Scott whipped his hand out and grabbed her onto his lap.

  She squealed with laughter and I couldn’t help but grimace. What was wrong with me? Why did I care what he did?

  "Hey," he said right before he kissed her. I watched in shock as his hand crawled slowly up the outside of her bare thigh. His hand stopped just at the top of her thigh as his thumb stroked slow circles on her bare skin.

  I swallowed past the lump that formed in my throat and turned my head away.

  "Here he goes again." Meg said rolling her eyes. Everyone else just carried on as if this was normal behaviour for him.

  "Same old Scott," Newton mumbled as he eyed the girls thigh.

  "Are you two going out again?" Ash asked me expectantly.

  "Tomorrow,” Adam answered for me without asking me first.

  I wanted to yell that he hadn't even asked me yet but again, I let it go. I felt grouchy.

  "We're all going to Macy's again tonight. Wanna come?" Meg was looking at me and I noticed that Scott had stopped eating the girls face but his attention was still on her.

  "Might as well. Who's playing?"

  "Scott."

  "Great,” I tried to sound pleased but Scott’s eyes darted to mine with a faint frown, catching my fake enthusiasm so I gave him my best smile to let him know that I didn’t mean it. I was rewarded with a smile and a wink that made my pulse quicken.

  Macy's wasn't as crowded as the first night I arrived, there were spaces between people and seats spare.

  "Does anybody want to dance?" I shouted over the music at anybody on our table.

  Ash laughed, "I think you guys have probably guessed by now that the girl loves to dance," she smiled at me, "I'll dance with you, Cuz. Come on."

  As we got on the dance floor, the music stopped and the stage lit. Scott and his band were on stage. Excitement welled up in me as he started with an upbeat song. Same as before, the girls rushed in a mad dash to get to the front. He saw Ash and me instantly and winked as he thrashed his guitar and sang with a smile. Kwitirls r My heart fluttered as I smiled and waved shyly at him. The song had me moving fast but I kept up.

  About halfway through, Ash pulled me off for another drink. "God, Em, you really can dance the night away!"

  Dancing was all about letting go for me. At home it had been the only way I could let it all out and maybe lose control a bit. Ash would never understand the demands that were put on me from an early age.

  It had led to my fake ID at sixteen just so I could get into the nightclubs at home. I was so happy when I turned eighteen, the legal age for drinking in England. Now I had to have another fake ID. I had been horrified when I found out that the drinking age here was twenty-one.

  I quickly downed my vodka with a glass of water for hydration purposes and made it back out to the dance floor.

  Later in the night, I spotted Scott dancing suggestively with a girl with long dark hair and a slender body. They were dancing close, face to face. He had a hand on her waist and I watched in envy — no, not envy, disgust – I watched in disgust as his other hand went up to her cheek and then threaded into her hair where he fisted his hand and pulled so she looked up at him. His eyes were hooded and his attention was all hers. His head went down to her but as he did his eyes found mine. I flinched at the blatant hunger burning through him into me. I turned and looked away quickly, not wanting him to notice how my smile slipped and my eyes had squeezed closed. Why should it be bothering me if I see him like that with someone else? I pushed the thought to the back of my mind with a shake of my head. No points for guessing who the lucky girl would be tonight — unlucky girl – I meant, unlucky! She wouldn’t be lucky with him, no girl would be.

  I danced away from them and straight into an attractive blonde man. "Whoops! Sorry!" I shouted at him over the music.

  He grinned, showing blinding white, over-bright teeth, and started to move with me. I stayed with him through a couple of songs until he got cocky. He put his hands on my waist and tried to pull me closer. I pulled out of his grasp and away from him but he reached for me again and clamped his hands onto my hips, squeezing me to keep me there. I wriggled and pushed against his chest but he wouldn’t let go. The first threads of fear licked at my spine, my heart tripped and then took off at speed.

  “Get off me!” I shouted.

  He let go. He was being dragged backwards fast. Scott was pulling him away and then said some heated words to him that I couldn't hear. I hoped he wouldn't hit him, although it would be no less than what he deserved, no means no. Scott pushed him back with force. Blonde guy went flying backwards into the arms of the waiting doorman and he was hauled outside by the back of his shirt. Relief washed through me in
warm waves and I took a deep breath, not realising that I had been holding it.

  Scott turned to me and came back to me. His shadowy face made his anger look menacing.

  "Thanks, but I could've handled him," I lied.

  He shook his head and looked at me hard. "This isn't fuckin' England, Emma! That dick wasn't going to fuckin' stop!”

  His fury blasted me and I took a step back. I didn't want his anger directed at me.

  He frowned like he was in pain and his gaze softened as he stepped forward and gently gripped my upper arms as he leaned down to my ear, “You need to be more careful, okay?"

  His closeness was disturbing me. I managed a stupefied nod in understanding. I was super aware of his warm hands touching my bare skin. How could it be that every time he touched me I felt like this? It was annoying, I didn’t want to feel this way. My body had a reaction all of its own without me telling it that it was okay first.

  “Come on, I’ll dance with you.” He smiled.

  I hesitated and didn’t know how to say no in a kind way. "No, it's okay, I was going to sit out for a while anyway."

  “It’s only a dance, Emma. No funny business, I promise,” he said with a mischievous smile.

  I couldn't say no. He just helped me out when he didn't need to and what was one dance anyway? It would be over before I knew it.

  I nodded my assent and he gripped my hand, then twirled me away from him so fast that a surprised giggle escaped my lips. Seconds later I was laughing loudly as he spun me around and around until I was squealing with dizziness and falling all over him. We were getting odd looks from everyone while we danced ballroom to rock. Adrenaline was pumping through my veins, which had nothing to do with the exercise.

  The music changed tempo and he pulled me into him, awareness came back tenfold and I stiffened in his arms.

  He looked down at me, the corner of his mouth lifted in a half-grin. “Relax, Emma, it’s only a dance between friends, right?”

  I caught a tender look a second before he replaced it with a cocky grin. “I’ve not known you a week and I know that dancing with you is never just a dance.”

  I regretted saying the loaded words instantly. I didn’t want to remember the way we met. I averted my gaze, hoping Scott didn’t hear me. I thought I felt Scott stiffen but I realised I had to be imagining it when he next spoke.

  “Really?” he teased but it appeared forced, “What else is it then, babe?”

  I had walked into that one. I shook my head, “Never-mind.”

  The brunette he was dancing with earlier came up behind him and put her arms around his waist, her hands around him pushing me away.

  She eyed me viciously and then changed her expression a split-second before Scott turned to look at her. "I missed you, lover." Her sultry voice grated against me.

  I pulled away from Scott but his grip on me tightened on my arms.

  He turned to look at me, a frown on his face, "Stay." He turned his head back to the brunette. "Take your hands off me. I'll find you later."

  Her mouth opened to argue but then she huffed and stalked off with a dirty look in my direction.

  He pulled me close again but I pushed away, "That wasn't very nice, I saw you with her earlier." How could he treat girls that way and get away with it?

  His eyes became hot, "I know you did."

  I flushed and looked away as I pushed out of his arms, "You should go talk to her, you were a dick."

  "You're going nowhere; she can fuckin' wait."

  I was in his arms again. "You shouldn't treat girls like that."

  He frowned, "She shouldn't have treated you like you were invisible."

  There was no more talking. We moved together and I’m sure, to Scott, it seemed like a normal dance but, to me, it felt like more and as his legs brushed mine, tingles shot out from the area to heat the rest of my body.

  Did he know the effect that he had on me? Did he know what he was doing? Already I knew his scent, the smell that was only him. There was that familiarity again but I couldn't put my finger on it.

  “You okay, babe?”

  I jumped at his whispered voice near my ear, his breath skittered across the sensitive skin. I shuddered as I looked up. He was closer than I thought. His eyes snared mine, burned through them. My lips parted in surprise, his eyes were like lasers looking right through me. His gaze dropped to my mouth as his grip tightened. Suddenly, he looked away whilst grinding his jaw. Was he angry with me? I couldn’t tell.

  The music changed again, a faster beat, a guitar thrashing out a frenetic riff. I sighed in relief when Scott moved away and asked if I wanted a drink. I nodded and left the floor with him.

  We all left Macy's together; I looked at Ash and did a double take. She was holding Newton’s hand and looked very happy about it. I would interrogate her later. Meg was pressed up against some guy I had seen in the cafeteria at school and Scott had his arm around the brunette that he had sent away earlier like a child. I could not believe that she was with him again after the way he talked to her. She obviously had no self-respect. The looks she kept throwing my way were pure hate but I ignored them. My heart squeezed as I realised I was alone. I wished Adam were here. I was the odd one out and while they all walked on ahead, I lagged behind.

  Scott turned a moment later and frowned. He released his girl again and came back to start walking with me.

  "Want some company?"

  "I don't need a babysitter, Scott; I'm a big girl you know." I didn’t want him to feel sorry for me.

  "Take it easy, I'm only walking with you. It's no big deal," he chuckled as I carried on walking with my arms crossed.

  I heard him chuckle again under his breath, "There's no need to get your panties in a twist."

  "My knickers are just fine. Just go away, you can't leave her again, do you want to see me murdered?" I joked but I wasn't entirely sure it was a joke.

  He frowned, "Girls like her don't give a shit. You think she gives a fuck about me?" He crossed his arms, "None of them do and I like it that way. She'll wait for me anyway." His cocky grin came out.

  Of course she would, who wouldn't wait for him? He was gorgeous, a total stunner.

  He was so sure of himself and confident. The thought of him going back to her was doing something strange to me, a heaviness deep in my belly.

  "Why do you do that?" My mouth seemed to be working on its own tonight. Too many vodkas.

  "Do what, babe?" he asked lightly, his attention all mine.

  "Why do you sleep around so much?" I whispered, knowing full well that I had no right to ask.

  His eyes widened and he looked up at the sky for a moment. "Why do you ask?" his voice was quiet.

  "Ash told me that you've never had a girlfriend." Why was I talking about this with him?

  He sighed before he looked back down at me. "She told you but what she was really doing was warning you off me." He was looking at me seriously now.

  "No," I lied, "she just told me." I looked away.

  "I don't believe you, but I can understand her wanting to protect you, especially from me.” He shook his head, his tone was serious but then he smiled softly at me.

  I was momentarily stunned by him.

  "You still haven't answered my question." I reminded him gently.

  "I–I'm not into relationships." He shrugged as if it was nothing but I knew he was lying.

  "So, basically, you sleep around because you can get away with it and you think that having a girlfriend would hinder you and you'd get bored."

  Very briefly, I saw his face crease in pain but it happened so fast that I could have imagined it.

  "Why, were you thinking of applying for the position?" his grin was cheeky as he steered our conversation back onto safer ground.

  I blushed. If only he knew how much I thought about him.

  "Wow, is that a blush?" he looked surprised and then laughed loudly.

  "Shut up!" I cringed as I punched his shoulder and my face burned h
otter, "And no, I wasn't applying for anything, I'm seeing Adam remember? I'm sort of taken." I said proudly as I held my head high.

  He sobered then and looked up again at the sky.

  "He's lucky." I thought I heard him say beneath his breath.

  "Huh?"

  "I said, he's l K sa width="0ucky. But if he treats you bad, he's going to turn unlucky real quick." He looked serious.

  I frowned, I didn't understand what he saying.

  He sighed and put his arm around me and held me close. "If he hurts you, babe; my fists will hurt his face."

  "Scott, I told you. I can look after myself." I tried to push his arm away but he tightened his arm.

  "It's not up for discussion, Emma."

  I let it drop for now. I kind of liked his protectiveness but it was a bit much as we had only known each other a week or so.

  ƀ

  Chapter Seven

  The next few weeks went by quickly and it was the beginning of October before I knew it. Adam had quickly become a frequent person in my life. That first date had turned into a regular thing with us hanging out a few nights a week. The guy liked to kiss but he never pushed me for more, which I found a bit bizarre since most of the guys I had dated had tried to get into my knickers almost straight away.

  Ash and Newton had grown closer in the last few weeks too. They spent a lot of their time with their lips locked together. I probed Ash about it and she told me that she had liked him for a while but he had never noticed her as anything more than a friend. She seemed to float on a pink-tinged cloud wherever she went and I envied her for her carefree nature. Newton was at ours most of the time but I didn't mind if Ash didn't.