Rocked Under

by Hawkes, Cora

  "Hey, baby," my ears hurt as I heard the sickly sweet voice and looked up.

  The same girl Scott had been snogging in the hall was putting herself between Scott's legs ready to dump herself onto his lap.

  Scott looked at me and caught my scowl. He then put his hands on her hips and pushed her away. "Go the fuck away." He swatted her away as though she was an annoying insect buzzing around him.

  The girls mouth opened and then closed, maybe she was trying to tell him what a dick he was but whatever she was about to say was swallowed as she changed her mind and then stomped off.

  Scott looked at me, the surprise on my face must have shown. I couldn't believe he just turned her down.

  I looked at Meg as she shook her head, "One day, Scott, you're going to fall in love and I hope she's the one to say no to you and makes you chase her forever. You're such a jerk sometimes."

  Scott frowned and looked at me quickly before resting his gaze back on Meg. "She'd have to be some girl to make that happen."

  I needed a plan. But it seemed that every time I had one I forgot it when I saw Scott. It was like all logic and intelligence went out the window and all I could see l I="#00000or think was him. If I felt like this about him now what would I feel like if I was actually with him? And how would I feel when he betrayed me which I knew would happen eventually with him. If I was anything like my mum, I would fall hard into a chasm of blankness and misery that would take years to climb out of. That wasn't going to happen to me, no way.

  “Emma!” I turned and saw Kyle jogging towards me after my last class. Almost black hair was cropped short and dark chocolate eyes sparkled with his smile. He stopped in front of me and I had to look up a good way to see his face.

  "Hi, Kyle, right?"

  "Yeah, Emma?” he asked and then rolled his eyes at himself, "obviously you are because you turned when I called your name." He smiled and then actually blushed.

  With his blush came my full attention. This wasn't what I was expecting at all. Usually, guys like him were sure of themselves and confident — conceited. I giggled at his floundering.

  "I–uh... are you coming tonight?" Hope lit his features.

  I looked at him and studied his expression trying to gauge his personality. He seemed genuine but so did Adam, proceed with caution, I told myself. "Yes, thanks for inviting me along." God, I sounded so British.

  "Great," his whole face relaxed with his easy smile and twinkling puppy eyes. "See you later, then."

  I walked away with a faint grin on my face. He was really nice. He had a boyish quality about him that I found cute. An innocence that seemed so rare with rich kids. I would go tonight just to see where things went and at least have some fun.

  ƀ

  Chapter Twenty-two

  By the time we arrived, the party was already in full swing. The music blared out from speakers that were hanging from the ceiling and the house was wall-to-wall with people holding red plastic cups. Couples were making out on the stairs and slowly ascending towards the bedrooms.

  We went to get a drink as soon as we got there. There were a few people I knew here from my classes but most were juniors or seniors. I hoped Adam wasn't here, if he was, I was leaving. This was my first frat party and I intended to relish it. We queued for our drinks and finally got one each. For the next hour we chatted, mingled and drank.

  "Hi,” Kyle was behind me and whispering near my ear.

  I spun round to look all the way up at him. He was as tall as Scott – stop it, Emma. "Hi, yourself," I grinned.

  "Do you want to dance with me?" the way he asked so shyly had me saying yes instantly.

  He put his arms around my waist and moved with me but kept a distance between us that not a lot of guys would do.

  "You look amazing."

  "How come yl I="font ou wanted me to come tonight?"

  "I–I like you," he said simply. "You're different."

  "Why didn't you ever talk to me then? You seem to talk to everyone else."

  "I don't know," he looked away, "you seem so out of reach sometimes, you know, unattainable."

  "Wow. I didn't realise I was that bad." I laughed.

  "You're not bad, your beautiful and you seem like a genuine person."

  I thought about that for a moment and didn't like it when I thought about my feelings for Scott. Was I a genuine person? Or was I trying to plan my life based on safety instead of morals and values?

  "What are you thinking?"

  "Huh?"

  "What has your eyebrows all drawn in like that?" he was studying me with his chocolate eyes.

  "Nothing," I smiled, "this is a great party."

  "Your accent is so good to listen to, keep talking. Do you like it here?" he asked politely.

  "I like it much better than home."

  "Good because we like you too," his toothy grin brightened his face.

  I giggled and went further into his arms.

  Another hour later I was merrily wiggling my butt on the space that was a make-shift dance-floor with Meg. Kyle had left me but he was never far from me.

  "Who's wants to play Spin the Bottle?" a guys voice rose above the music.

  "Come on, Em,” Meg grabbed my hand and tugged me toward where the game was starting.

  I giggled like a naughty school child when she sat me down next to her. It was a game that I hadn't participated in since I was a young teenager.

  I looked for Kyle and our eyes met as he came straight over to sit in on the game when he saw that I was playing.

  I giggled again, my brain fuzzy from drink.

  "Mind if I join in?"

  I froze as I heard Scott's voice. Bugger! What was he doing here? I didn't think he was invited.

  The girls squealed with delight while the guys groaned. But not Kyle, his cheeky grin was firmly in place and his eyes were twinkling at me again.

  I smiled a hello to Scott and turned my attention to Kyle although I was very conscious of Scott sitting there watching me.

  There were nine girls and eleven guys sat in the huge circle on the floor.

  "The rules are simple; When the bottle picks you, wait for it to pick your partner and then both of you gobot>

  I could feel a wave of anger hitting me and it was definitely coming from Scott. Why was he pissed off with me? As far as I knew, I hadn't done anything wrong except for being here.

  The bottle was spinning and it stopped at a blonde girl sitting two away from me. The bottle spun again, picking her out a partner. It was a guy I had never seen. The blonde girl seemed a bit disappointed but she accepted without whining. They kissed thoroughly for a full twenty-seconds to whistles and claps before breaking apart, red-faced.

  The game went on and I froze as it landed on me and then was spun again to pick out my partner. It went around and around, letting fate decide who should and shouldn't kiss me. It slowed and stopped at Kyle. I gave Scott a sidewards glance and saw that his jaw was grinding and he was glaring at Kyle.

  Kyle was totally ecstatic and made his way to the centre of the circle.

  He cupped my face, the way Scott had done, and brought his lips to mine.

  "I've been waiting for this," he whispered just before his lips met mine in a surprisingly gentle caress. His tongue entered my mouth, stroking gently. In and out his tongue went and I found I was liking this so I deepened the kiss by running my fingers into his hair and pulling him closer. We went past the twenty-seconds and then I heard people shouting at us to get a room.

  We pulled apart.

  "Wow," he breathed and smiled gently at me.

  Scott looked outraged now and I swallowed hoping that fate wouldn't be so cruel as to pair me with him.

  The game started again and I kissed two other guys but none were like Kyle's kiss. Kyle also had a few more kisses as did Scott. I didn't watch but I knew he was watching me for a reaction. I didn't give him one.

  Then, Fate was a bitch. The bottle landed on Scott and then picked me for his partne
r.

  I trembled slightly as I met his hard stare.

  I gave him stare for stare. How dare he be angry with me for no good reason. I was just having fun like he did all the time. I went to the centre of the circle to meet him. I plastered a smile on my face as I met his hard eyes.

  His hands went into my hair making shivers run along my spine and I prepared myself for an angry kiss. I closed my eyes and then I felt surprised as I felt his lips meet mine softly. Heat shot through me and an overwhelming need to get closer to him. His lips were trembling slightly but his kiss was hardly there, like he was afraid I'd break or bolt or something and it wasn't enough. I wanted him closer. I wanted more than what he was giving me.

  The punishing softness went on and on until I felt coiled tightly and shakght">

  "I'm out." I walked away to go get another much needed drink. Once I had got one I rested against a wall watching the general madness now that almost everyone was drunk. I looked into my cup and raised it to my lips and swallowed the whole lot.

  "Are you okay?" Kyle stood in front of me.

  "Yeah," I smiled. "Dance with me?"

  He smiled, "You don't need to ask,"

  "Oh wait, I need another drink first."

  Dancing with Kyle was comfortable and we were moving very close together. I knew Scott was here somewhere but my mind was woolly with drink and I no longer cared. I would think tomorrow.

  All of a sudden Kyle swooped down and caught my lips. His kiss was a statement of want and lust. I let him take me away into it and I noticed he was moving me off the dance floor and near to the stairs.

  I felt hazy desire start to get a hold of me as he caught me around my waist and pulled me close.

  “You're so beautiful. I want you so much but not like this. Not while you're so drunk," I didn't want to hear that so I grabbed his face and pulled him in quickly to me to try to make him forget his words. I needed this, I thought hazily, I needed this to forget about Scott.

  I deepened our kiss and grabbed his ass to pull his hips into me.

  "I know you want me, Kyle," I sounded slurred, my head was dizzy. I moaned as I kissed him again.

  Suddenly, I was yanked away and before I knew it Scott had punched Kyle and he was dragging me out the door.

  "What the fuck are you doing?" I screeched at him.

  "Taking you home," his voice was tight, his face a mask of cold anger.

  "I don't want to go! I want to go and see if Kyle's okay." I whined.

  "Shut up, Emma.”

  "Let her go, Scott." I heard Kyle. He followed us out of the house.

  "Go back inside, Larson.” Scott was super angry.

  I didn't want Kyle to get hurt again because of me.

  "Not without her!" He grabbed Scott by his shirt.

  "You have three-seconds to remove your hand, Larson," Scott growled.

  "Kyle, it'00" cos fine." I said in a rush.

  "No, it isn't, Em. He can't treat you this way." Kyle's temper was rising.

  "It's okay. I'll be fine" I tried to placate him. The last thing I wanted was for them to fight over me. I wasn't worth it, if only they realised that.

  "She's not yours, Scott. What gives you the right?"

  "That's none of your business," Scott gritted his teeth.

  "Please, Kyle. I'll see you tomorrow, just go back inside. Scott’s going to take me home."

  "You trust him?" Kyle looked incredulous now.

  "Yes," I looked down, "I do." I had just given away too much.

  Kyle thought for a minute, dropped his hand from Scott's shirt and looked at me.

  "I'll call you tomorrow.” Then he looked at Scott, “If anything happens to her, I'll know.” He looked at me one last time, then turned away.

  Scott started pulling me along with him again.

  "What the hell, Scott?" I shouted in frustration.

  He walked me to a car and bundled me inside.

  He handed the designated driver some notes and said our address. We sat in silence until we reached our building but my mind was not quiet.

  ƀ

  Chapter Twenty-three

  He wouldn't let me go to my place so he took me up to his. He opened the door and turned the lights on low. I didn't sit but stood there watching him.

  "Why did you do that?" I asked him quietly now.

  "You're wasted, I'm not gonna let any asshole touch you when you're like that."

  "What gives you the right to decide who I sleep with and when?" I was right in his face. I was mad, frustrated with him and I wanted him to stop being so protective.

  "I happen to fuckin’ care about you!" he shouted back at me.

  "You care?" I laughed cruelly, "Don't make me laugh! You really showed me how much you cared tonight!" I was angry at him for not letting me forget him.

  "Stop it, Emma!” he grabbed my arms as his eyes softened, "I stopped you from making a mistake, that's all."

  "Oh right, so it's okay for you to sleep with anything with a vagina but it's not okay for me to sleep with one guy? What's wrong with you?" I took a breath and lowered my voice. "You don't own me, you're my friend but I don't even know if you're that any more." I finished quietly.

  He dropped his hands and turned away from me. His hand went through his hair 00" c="#and he sighed. "You," he turned and pointed a finger at me, "are driving me fuckin' crazy." He started walking towards me.

  "Stay away from me," I put a hand out to ward him off but he kept coming until the backs of my legs hit the couch and I tumbled down.

  He bent down and put his hands either side of my head and brought his mouth close to mine. I leaned back further away from him but I ended up almost lying down.

  He came closer, lowering his body very close to mine. Heat shot through me as his warm body heat filled the gap between us and penetrated my cool skin. My heart raced whilst an ache started low down.

  I bit my lip to keep myself from moaning in pleasure at his closeness and clenched my fists by my sides so I wouldn't touch him. I wanted to, badly.

  "Why not me?" I heard him whisper.

  His eyes held pain and need in them as they penetrated mine. It tore at me but this could never happen.

  "Why?" he urged, "Why do you let everyone else close but me? What're you afraid of?"

  That was the second time he had asked me that question and I couldn't answer, only close my eyes against his overpowering need.

  "I don't understand, Emma, I fuckin'–" he stopped abruptly, closed his eyes and shook his head. "I don't understand what’s going on here. I don't understand you." He sighed and got up off me.

  He turned his back to me and I sat up straight. I looked at his back and felt like a bitch again.

  "Scott?" my whisper sounded loud in the silence. I wanted to console him but I knew I couldn't be the one to do it. This was how it was between us. We couldn't ever be friends now, there was too much there.

  "I'm sorry." I stood then. I needed to leave. "I'm just gonna go," I felt sad and I had sobered up enough to feel his frustration.

  I paused and looked at Scott's back for a minute. I felt an urge so strong to go to him, put my arms around him and to hell with it all. He looked so lonely and sad.

  I sighed and turned away. My feet started carrying me to the door.

  "Fuck this," I heard the words and turned.

  Scott stalked towards me with pure intent in his eyes. He grabbed me and slammed his mouth onto mine. He kissed me like a man who had gone without food. His tongue was duelling with mine in age old dance that had my head spinning and everything became unclear as I felt an overwhelming need rise up in me. He left my mouth to bury his head in the crook of my neck. My arms went around him to stop myself from falling to the floor.

  My body was shaking with anticipation. He picked me up then and carried me. His lips met mine again as he walked with me. The next moment I was laid on his bed but I ignored it as his kiss slowed and gentled into a slow rhythm that melted my insides and curled my toescurm
et. He lowered his body over mine slowly, letting me get used to his weight. I felt him trembling ever so lightly at the restraint he was exerting.

  "I want you so much," he whispered into my mouth whilst he moved his hips into mine. "Let me show you how it can be." His mouth rained kisses all over my face and eyes.

  I groaned and held on to him. My heart was hammering against my chest. Heat pooled between my legs and I opened them to him.

  "Please, baby, even if it's just once. I need you, now." His hands crept to the fastening on my top and I froze.

  Just once? What was I doing?

  "Oh, God!" I cried and he looked at me.

  I watched as the passion in his eyes turned to hurt and then to anger. He stood abruptly.

  "I'm sorry but I can't." I whispered and buried my face in my hands. I knew the tears would come soon. He wanted me just once. Just once. There was no point in telling him that I wasn't a 'just once' kind of girl because he wouldn't change for me.