Anything but Love

by Beth Ciotta

  “I’ll admit,” she finally said. “I’m a little apprehensive about reconnecting with everyone.” Luke’s reaction to her ruse was a bitter pill she’d yet to swallow. Would others lash out in kind? “After all, I lied about who I was. Am.”

  “You had your reasons.”

  “Yeah, well.” She blew out a breath. “I’m glad you told me about Sugar Tots. I can definitely help there. And I think I know how to get the CL publishing date back on track.”

  “I didn’t share our troubles expecting you to use your money to rectify things.”

  “I know that, Sam. You told me because you knew I’d care.” She smiled then. “Thank you for that.” At least someone had given her the benefit of the doubt. Sam hadn’t bought into the trust fund baby clichés assuming she was spoiled and manipulative. Someone who’d go slumming in Sugar Creek on a dare or a whim, just to see how the yokels live. Luke’s presumptions still stung.

  “I know you have personal issues. Things you don’t feel comfortable talking about. I’m not a talker either,” Sam said. “But I am a good listener.”

  He’d proven that on the phone.

  “Just saying.”

  Rae nodded then broke Sam’s gaze, swallowing past a lump in her throat. If only Luke had taken a more tolerant approach rather than pushing and badgering her into lashing back then closing down. She regretted how they’d parted. The ugly things she’d said. When they next spoke, she promised herself she would take the high road, no matter what. She couldn’t control Luke’s behavior, but she could certainly monitor her own.

  “Where am I taking you?” Sam asked as he put the truck in gear.

  “What? Oh. The Pine and Periwinkle Inn.” She’d made an open-ended reservation.

  “How long are you staying?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  “An extended stay at a resort … could get expensive,” he said as he pulled out onto the dark country road. “The kids and I, we have an extra room.”

  The lump in her throat swelled to the size of an orange. “Thank you but, not to sound pretentious—”

  “Money’s not an issue. Right. So, just curious, and you don’t have to elaborate, but making due on what little you made as a day care assistant when you were used to an opulent lifestyle … that must’ve been a challenge.”

  “There’s something to be said for living by your wits and seeing what you’re made of.”

  Eyes on the road, Sam shook his head. “I was wrong about you.”

  Her stomach clenched. “How so?”

  “I didn’t give you enough credit. You’re a warrior, Rae.”

  “Who’d of thunk it, huh?” She smiled a little. “Let’s just say I’ve decided it’s time to control life rather than allowing life to control me.”

  * * *

  Sam pulled into his driveway, struggling with a tangle of conflicting emotions.

  Had he tipped his hand? Did Rae sense his stubborn infatuation?

  He didn’t want to scare her off. He wanted to win her over.

  When she’d stepped out of that private plane his heart had swelled. Yes, she was more polished than the last time he’d seen her, but the attraction went beyond her new sophisticated style. Through letters and on the phone they’d formed the kind of easy relationship he’d yearned for when she’d been living in Sugar Creek. Something had clicked between them—genuine friendship, he thought.

  They could build from there.

  Sam prided himself on being a grounded, rational guy. There was nothing sensible about pining for a woman who had no interest in him sexually. So he’d decided to get proactive. To woo her. Seduce her. Subtly. Based on mutual respect and common interests. Might take some time, but Rae was worth waiting for, worth fighting for. The perfect mother for his children.

  Patience, he’d once told Luke, was not just a virtue, but a weapon.

  The first step was to lure her back to Sugar Creek. He didn’t know a lot about Rae, but he knew she had a gentle heart. He knew her Achilles’ heel. Kids. He knew she’d be concerned about the lack of a local day care facility. And he knew she had a genuine fondness for every member of the Cupcake Lovers. He knew she missed Sugar Creek. She’d said so. So he’d given her a reason to return.

  Sam flexed his hands on the steering wheel and stared through the windshield at his moonlit house, the home he’d built with his wife, Paula. The home in which their two kids now slept. When Paula had died, she’d taken a piece of Sam with her. She’d been his soul mate and he was damned sure he’d never love again.

  Rae gave him hope. She made him feel. Yearn.

  He’d once thought her a tortured soul. He still sensed she was damaged somehow, guarded. The soldier in him wanted to save her. But tonight he’d also gotten a glimpse of her fighting spirit. A quiet confidence. And under and through it all, that gentle heart. The entire package was a turn-on.

  As for his hound-dog cousin, Luke had sworn to Sam that he didn’t have feelings for Rae. That she’d been upset that night and the kiss Sam had walked in on had been Luke’s lame way of trying to comfort her. Which sounded like Luke, balls on. The younger man viewed sex as a cure-all.

  If Luke had lied, if he was hot for Rae, then he and Sam were going to butt heads in a big-ass way. He wouldn’t feel great about kicking the shit out of a family member—literally or figuratively. But he wouldn’t shy from it either. Luke had never made a serious commitment to a woman in his entire life.

  Sam was ready to go all out.

  SIX

  Luke woke up the next morning just like every other morning these last few months—alone and broody. He’d bailed on the Cupcake Lovers meeting early. Yes, he was happy for Chloe and Monica—Chloe’s baby would be his niece or nephew and Monica.… Hell, Monica and her husband, Leo, had been trying for a baby for almost a year and then when they stopped trying, bam, she’d conceived. Twins! Everyone in Sugar Creek had celebrated that news.

  Luke was also thrilled for Rocky and Jayce. Theirs had been a long and stormy relationship. That they’d finally settled in the love zone and were actually getting married was a big deal. He just wasn’t up for hearing the gory details. Who knew his tomboy sister would turn all sappy girly when it came to planning her wedding?

  Overall the night had sucked. His cupcakes had flopped and the Cupcake Lovers had pegged him as depressed, bored, and lonely. Never mind that it was true. It’s not like this was a permanent state. He’d bounce back. At some point.

  Maybe he would call Ellie Tate.

  For the time being, he’d driven home and thrown back a couple of beers while watching late-night ESPN. He’d gone to bed thinking about Rae. He’d woken up thinking about her, too. So when the stylish redhead walked through the front door of the Sugar Shack just shortly after opening, he was certain she was a figment of his imagination.

  Until Kane Brody whistled low.

  His brother, Adam, looked to where Kane looked. “Holy … Is that … Shit.”

  Luke, who’d been pouring cups of coffee for the Brodys, carefully abandoned the glass carafe before he dropped it. He was that shocked to see Reagan Deveraux.

  In Sugar Creek.

  In his freaking pub.

  The last time she’d been in this room, a randy college boy had grabbed her ass and Luke had gone ballistic. The unwanted attention had reduced Rae to tears and Luke had hustled her into his office. He’d meant to comfort her. He’d ended up kissing her. Sam had walked in and that’s the moment Luke’s happy-go-lucky existence started swirling down the toilet.

  He relived the entire scene twice by the time she made it through the maze of tables to the bar. Except that night he’d been defending and falling for Rachel Lacey—a shy, self-conscious, and supposedly down-and-out teaching assistant. This was Reagan Deveraux—the heiress who’d screwed him just to get him out of her system.

  In the words of his bud, Adam … Shit.

  The Brodys swiveled full around to greet her.

  “Hey, Rachel,” Kane sai
d.

  Adam elbowed him.

  “Sorry. Rae.”

  “So you guys know my real name. My background,” she said in an even tone and without looking at Luke.

  “Whole town knows,” Adam said.

  Not from me, Luke wanted to say, but bit his tongue.

  “I heard it from Nash, who got it from Leo, who heard it from—”

  “Monica.” Rae smiled a little as she unzipped her coat. “I know how it works, guys.”

  The brothers fell quiet, appreciating a glimpse of the curves beneath the coat. Luke knew exactly what Kane and Adam thought of Rae’s figure. They’d ogled her lush breasts and trim waist the first night she’d shown up in her waitress uniform. Since she’d been keen on making big tips, Luke had suggested she ditch her preferred baggy style for something more formfitting. At the time he hadn’t been aware her form was so fine.

  Now he knew.

  Even better than Adam and Kane.

  Luke’s hands had been all over that hot body.

  “Buy you a drink?” Adam asked.

  “Coffee?” Kane offered.

  Luke’s mouth went dry as he imagined Rae shooting tequila. Lick, drink, suck.

  “Water would be nice. Thanks.”

  Luke turned away and reached into the fridge. She probably liked sparkling or mineral as opposed to spring. Then again, anyone who slammed back shots wasn’t exactly a beverage snob.

  “Why are you back in Sugar Creek?” Adam asked.

  “Business.”

  “Staying long?” Kane asked.

  “That depends,” she said just as Luke returned with Perrier and a glass. “Could I speak with you?” she asked, meeting his gaze head on. “In private?”

  Which meant his office. The cramped, messy room where they’d shared their first kiss. Not that Adam and Kane knew. No one knew, aside from Luke, Rae, and Sam. And no one knew about their disastrous shag in L.A. Unless Rae had spilled the beans. It’s not something Luke was inclined to talk about. If only he could forget.

  Their fingers brushed as she reached for the uncapped bottle. Luke cursed the tingle that zipped up his arm and tightened his chest. Maintaining a casual expression, he called over to Willa, the only waitress on the schedule this a.m., and asked her to cover the bar. “Be right back,” he said to the Brodys who were looking at him like he was the luckiest shit in town.

  Yeah, right.

  “She’s new,” Rae said, referring to the petite blonde waitress as they made their way to his office.

  “You know how it goes,” Luke said as he opened the door. “People come and go all the time.”

  He thought he heard Rae sigh, but she didn’t comment. She set down the Perrier long enough to shrug out of her expensive-looking down coat. He automatically helped her with it. He’d been raised to do stuff like that. Help women in and out of their coats, open the door for them, pull out the chair for them. Most women, at least all of the ones he’d dated, appreciated the courtesy.

  Rae thanked him, although that sounded sort of automatic, too. “Mind if I sit?” she asked while gesturing to his secondhand couch.

  “Knock yourself out.” Luke, however, perched on the corner of his desk. He was wired. He was curious. He was wary. “What kind of business?”

  She blinked then focused. On him. Gaze steady. Four months ago, she’d gone out of her way to avoid eye contact. With Luke and most everyone else. He’d assumed it was because she was shy. Now he knew it was because she’d been living a freaking lie. Eyes were the window to the soul and all that.

  “Without going into great detail,” she said, “I’m here to save Sugar Tots. And, if they’ll let me, I think I can help the Cupcake Lovers with their publishing date glitch.”

  “How did you—”

  “Sam told me.”

  “He called you in California?”

  “He wrote back in answer to the letter I wrote to all of the Cupcake Lovers. Then I called him. We’ve talked a few times.”

  That bothered Luke more than he cared to think about. “Did you tell him about—”

  “Of course not. I haven’t told anyone. It’s not the kind of thing you brag about.”

  “Right. Because the sex wasn’t all that great.”

  Her color rose and her eyes sparked, but she didn’t snap. She sighed. “I only said that because … Never mind. Could we keep this civil? I know I disappointed you. I know you think the worst of me. I can’t help that, but I’d like to get past it.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m going to have your baby.”

  * * *

  Rae hadn’t meant to blurt the news. She’d lain awake half the night on her rented pillow-soft bed rehearsing how she was going to drop the bombshell. None of her scenarios had gone like this. They’d all been more eloquent. But she was nervous. She hadn’t anticipated the rush of desire when she’d walked in and saw Luke standing behind the bar. The man was at his most confident and charming when he mixed drinks and bantered with his patrons. Adam and Kane were two of his closest friends. Thank God they’d been there to break the ice, because swear to God, Rae had frozen up. She’d sworn her heart was dead as far as Luke was concerned. How could fate be so cruel?

  Just now Luke was looking at her as if she’d just spoken Greek. “Come again?”

  “I’m pregnant, Luke.”

  He angled his head, blinked. “And you think it’s mine?”

  “I don’t think. I know.”

  “How?”

  What, he thought she slept around? Yeah. He probably did. “Because of the timing.” Because there hasn’t been anyone else.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, I’m sure.” Rae bore his insulting attitude with hard-won calm. She refused to lose her cool. She refused to get emotional. She’d been wrestling with this unexpected twist for two weeks. Once the shock had abated, she’d experienced a spark of wonder and joy. She refused to allow Luke to warp this miracle into something ugly. That said, she thought he deserved to know. “If you don’t believe me, I’ll submit to DNA testing, although I’m not far enough along yet.”

  He shoved his hand through his shaggy hair. The same hand that had smoothed down her back, up her thigh, under her dress. “You said you were on birth control.”

  “I was. But the pill isn’t fail-proof. Nothing, aside from abstinence, is.”

  So far, Luke was responding exactly like she’d anticipated. Doubting her. Blaming her. Except he wasn’t yelling. He was, in fact, oddly calm. It made Rae uneasy. She swigged a quarter of the water, rolled back her shoulders. “Listen, Luke. I don’t want anything from you. I’m not expecting a marriage proposal or asking for financial support. I just … I wanted you to know. I thought you’d want to know.”

  “Are you going to keep it?”

  “It?”

  “The baby.”

  “You think I’d give her up for adoption or…” She couldn’t even say it.

  Luke stood and paced to his file cabinet and back. Frowning, he dragged his hands down his absurdly handsome face. “I can’t believe this.”

  Resenting his misery, even though she’d expected it, Rae swigged more water then set aside the bottle and forced herself to stand. “This isn’t the life I planned either, Luke, but I’m not going to run from it. I’m going have this baby. I’m going to love this baby. If you want to be a part of her life, I’ll stay on in Sugar Creek. I’ll make a life here. If not, we’ll settle someplace else.”

  He cast a suspicious glance. “Why not in California? Near your mom?”

  “I have my reasons.”

  She saw him tense. She understood why he was bothered by her evasiveness, but he’d given her no reason to trust him with her problems. She’d thought her troubles would be over once she inherited her fortune. She thought she’d be able to lure her mom away from Geoffrey with the promise that Rae would look after her financially. She’d been wrong. She thought her own money would mean freedom and respectability. She thought it would op
en doors, which it did, but not doors she wanted to walk through. She’d never been more miserable and lonely.

  And then she’d learned she was pregnant.

  Now she had someone else to worry about. Someone to protect and nurture. Raising her child anywhere near Olivia and her toxic environment was out of the question.

  “Think it over,” Rae said as she nabbed her coat. “I’m staying at the Pine and Periwinkle. Do you have my cell number?”

  Caught somewhere between flustered and angry, Luke fumbled with his phone. “I don’t.… No. Not your current one.”

  Rae grabbed Luke’s cell and quickly thumbed in her information. She needed to get out of here. She couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. She handed him the phone then turned to leave. “I know you don’t like me,” she said, “but please do me this one favor. Don’t tell anyone yet. Dev. Rocky. Anyone. I’m only six weeks along. The first trimester … it’s iffy.” Just saying it out loud made her queasy. But she’d listened to her doctor and she’d researched on her own. Once she reached the ten to twelve week mark, the risk of miscarrying would greatly diminish.

  “You keep saying her,” Luke said when Rae was halfway out the door. “Isn’t it too soon to know?”

  “Just a feeling.” Heart pounding, Rae crossed the threshold and moved calmly toward the front door with a wave to Adam and Kane. Part of her wanted Luke to follow her, but she knew he wouldn’t. She’d just put a serious kink in the life of Sugar Creek’s biggest playboy.

  SEVEN

  Rocky Monroe couldn’t remember when she’d ever felt this happy. She kept waiting for the sky to fall. For her recent good fortune to tank. It’s not that she was a cynic or a defeatist, but she had a history of rotten luck. She’d spent years seething over her love gone wrong with Jayce Bello. Years. She’d experienced multiple and increasing financial setbacks. The absolute worst had been watching her bed-and-breakfast, her home, her dream, go up in smoke. Along with all of her personal possessions.

  Oh, yeah. Losing everything sucked big time.

  Only, when her senses had cleared, she’d realized she hadn’t lost everything. Certainly, not the things she cherished most.