Willows, Jennifer - Lust for Life [The Moreland Brothers 2] (Siren Publishing Allure)

by Jennifer Willows

  “I’m all right Mak. I just feel...” There she went, unable to say what she felt. It was just too new and, because of her hang-ups, fragile.

  “Discombobulated? Confused? Off-kilter? Distracted and disturbed?” Charli laughed at each phrase. They all described her mood perfectly.

  “Yeah, something like that.”

  “Let’s get you in some real clothes, Charli. And maybe brush that nest out of your hair.” They both laughed plenty at Mak’s dry humor. Taking Makenzie’s words to heart, she walked to the bedroom and proceeded to get presentable.

  It took thirty minutes to fix her snarled tracks and get dressed. Charli sauntered out Deven’s room at nine, and Mak was in the process of eating a bagel with cream cheese. When she saw Charli, Makenzie did a poor version of a wolf whistle, but mostly sputtered bagel bits on the table, before she wiped the crumbs off and announced, “Get it, girl!”

  Of course, Charli was hobbling from her sore feet, but she looked great. The long weekend of orgasms made her skin glow and eased her uptight carriage. She didn’t know the last time she felt so good or remember the last time she just relaxed. Clad in a tank top, trouser-leg denims, and tennis shoes, she wasn’t the most beautiful woman on the block. But she did feel well rested, which when paired with her outfit looked even better. By the time Makenzie finished a cup of coffee Charli had slung on a blue school-striped cardigan and was ready for their girls’ day and adventure.

  Mak drove the Barracuda, and the ladies set off into the morning sun, ready for the fun to begin. Their first stop was for breakfast at her favorite bagel shop, Panera Bread, in the Mayfair shopping center. Over cinnamon crunch bagels and coffee, Makenzie started in with her probing about her and Deven.

  “So, tell your girl what’s really good.”

  Charli gave the bare bones details of her and Dev’s weekend, starting with Black Friday and the tandem skydive.

  “Basically, Friday we went skydiving, and he asked me over for dinner. We had sex, shared a blunt clip, and went to sleep. Saturday, we went parasailing, had fondue for dinner and more sex for dessert. Sunday we had breakfast and hit up a salsa club. Then more sex and of course a late dinner followed. That’s the long and short of it.” Makenzie’s face during the retelling of the essentials was priceless. Her mouth gaped open, and Charli hadn’t given any of the details yet.

  “Whoa, so you telling me you spent the whole weekend with Deven? Sounds like fun. Adventures and sex? Hmmm...” Mak had a funny look on her face, almost as if she wanted to ask a question, but didn’t know how to phrase it.

  “Just spill it, Mak.” Charli was midbite when Mak finally got herself together.

  “Was it great? That’s a dumb question. You wouldn’t have thrown him any more pussy if he wasn’t fantastic. But I guess what I really want to know is how you feel about it? The weekend that is?”

  “Yeah, Mak, he rocked my world. Big dicks must swing from the family tree or something.” Charli smiled, and Makenzie’s reaction let her know she knew exactly her intent.

  “Yeah, I know what you mean. Charyn is definitely bigger than average and works it well. Good enough that I would pay for more of it.”

  Charli snickered. “But the hardest part is the feelings, girl. I’ve never in life wanted time to stand still. But he makes me wish for things I didn’t even know I wanted. The saddest part is that I get you now.”

  “Get what, boo?”

  “Why you ran from Charyn last year.”

  “Ohhh...But, Charli, that’s not like you. There’s something I’m missing here. You have never fallen into any man’s bed without a full background check and a gun under the pillow. So what makes this different?” She could see the wheels turning and Makenzie was digging for something, pay dirt. Charli knew what it was and decided to come clean.

  “Mak, Deven and I have fucked before.”

  “Shut the front door!” Makenzie’s voice carried, and several diners looked askance at them. It was a testament to how shook up Charli was that she didn’t curse anybody out or give a nasty look in response to the glares.

  “Yeah…just once. Remember last year, when he took me on a spin on his bike?”

  “You mean to tell me that you kept that a secret for how long? Over a year?” Mak’s face crumpled slightly and Charli felt the hurt in her friend’s body language.

  “Yes, and I’m sorry. I just didn’t know how to admit it. At the time you were dealing with your feelings for your husband... I just didn’t want to give you more to worry about.”

  “That is the raggediest excuse ever, Charlene Montana Anderson. It doesn’t matter if I was giving birth, you could have come to me.”

  “I know. I couldn’t admit it. I was just ashamed of myself, the way I gave him the drawers at ‘hello.’ Not to mention, I didn’t even go on a date with him. It was just too embarrassing.”

  “Girl, if I can tell you that my hubby weaves ropes round my body and hangs me from the ceiling, you could have...”

  “I know, I know! And damn, Mak, believe me, that was TMI when you told me the first time. But now, you’re adding insult to injury.”

  “But you get my point. Right? You know that no matter what, you are like a sister to me. No matter who I’m with, marry or fuck. You are my best friend, and the only person in the world that knows half of what they want to about me.” Mak had an extrastern look on her visage. It reminded Charli of a Catholic schoolteacher looking for a ruler to smack the hell out of her with.

  “Yes, Makenzie Moreland, I do get your point.”

  “Thank you! Now gimme the rest. The unedited version please.”

  “Okay, let’s go to the mall to get these dogs a pedicure, and I’ll spill the beans. It’s your treat though. I wanna see you swipe that black card again.” The pair laughed loudly, and the patrons seated nearby looked annoyed again.

  When they were back in the ’cuda and on the open road again, Makenzie wanted her answers and it appeared her preference was now.

  “I think it’s time you started giving me the details you promised.”

  “The first time, Deven and I did it in the foyer of your house against the door.”

  “Uggh, I use that every day, and y’all screwed against my front door!” Makenzie laughed and looked over at Charli, grin evident.

  “Yeah, but we got into a spat, and I cussed him out. After that, we avoided each other like the plague.”

  “No wonder...” Mak went silent then continued. “It seemed like I had to beg you to come to my house. Then when you did come by, you were always tense. Like you were waiting for the other shoe to drop. Shoot, even Dev always came in the house like he was looking for somethin’, peeking around corners and such.”

  “Yeah. And the worst part is he dances better than he fucks.”

  “Hot damn, Charli, that sounds like one for the record books.”

  “Yeah, we danced from eight to almost midnight, and he can move. Let me tell you, betta than any brother at the club. You know I felt dumb as hell because I didn’t think he could groove like that.”

  “I bet not. Most white boys can’t. But apparently they are making up for lost time and breaking some barriers while they are at it.”

  “Right!” Charli dragged the word out, chuckled.

  “So what do you want to do?” Makenzie’s seeking look at her face spoke to the fact that she really wanted to know where Charli’s mind was at.

  “I have no idea… for real he gave me a house key today.”

  “Whoa, you telling me that after one weekend you got keys? That sounds serious.”

  “Who you tellin’? I didn’t even see it coming.”

  “Bet you ain’t, have to be Miss Cleo to see that in your future.”

  The conversation was so heated, Makenzie was on autopilot until she looked up and saw they were already at their destination and parked at the food court.

  “Come on… let’s get them sore dogs soaking and a sexy wax job for our men.”

  Charli
stopped in her tracks. Man? Her man? Actually, it felt less weird than she thought.

  They were sitting in massage chairs, frothing minty water past their ankles, when Mak apparently decided to probe a little deeper.

  “Now that we’ve discussed what happened, what do you want to take place?”

  Charli didn’t respond for long moments. She needed the time, either to decide what she wanted to say, or to formulate the words to speak it.

  “I want him.” That could mean a lot of things, and Charli knew it.

  Mak just arched a brow, so similar to the same look her husband gave that Charli immediately explained herself.

  “Mak, he feels so good. I just... can’t help but to fight it. You know the story of my life. Everyone that should stay abuses me then leaves. I just can’t give him... everything.”

  “But you want to.”

  “God yes I do.” Charli felt so much relief just to say what had been on her mind for months. There had been long, lonely nights spent with numerous dreams of Deven, and his integral role in too many fantasies in the year since they met. “But he’s not for me, Mak. I’m the daughter of a crack whore and a death row inmate. Not to mention my old lifestyle. What decent man wants a former drug dealer? Who not only sold weed to college kids but had one of the largest grows in the state? There’s no way this could be anything more than a jump-off or be a ghetto booty call. Hell, I could probably be his number three on the bench or something. Come on, the man is a trust-fund-baby and old money at that.” Charli felt as if she might cry, but she was a pro at heartbreak, and her eyes dried before the first tear could escape.

  “Charli, you are a wonderful woman, and you deserve the chance to be happy. When my mom was first diagnosed with breast cancer, I was lost. I had no idea what I was going to do, all the way in New York City, you were the one to pick us both up from the depths of despair and dust us off. You gave mom and me a place to live, rent free for over a year. You paid her medical bills until the job you got for me would cover her chemo. You made sure I got to and from work every day until I could afford to get transportation of my own. I’m pretty sure it was you that made sure we ate when I was too tired to cook at night. You even bathed mom when I couldn’t. That was all you. Any woman who loves deeply enough to do that for another person is worthy of a good man who will love and appreciate the jewel that he found in you.”

  Even with Makenzie’s pep-up speech Charli was, for the first moment in her life, feeling regret. Her choices led her down a road that she couldn’t veer away from. She couldn’t turn back the hands of time and change anything that led to this moment. To be honest, she wouldn’t change any of it. If not for hustling, then she couldn’t have helped her surrogate mom, Sharon. If not for hustling, she wouldn’t have a house to shelter her best friend when she needed her home to heal.

  But at this moment, she wished... that she wasn’t so jaded and angry, and she wished that she didn’t harbor the blood of two weak people. Neither of her parents was good for much, and if she could, she’d write off the first ten years of her life. But that wasn’t fair to Sharon. She was more her parent than anyone, especially her birth mother Geraldine Morris.

  Only a nasty piece of work would try to sell her daughter to a fiend for a fix. Charli would never forget that moment. Not as long as she lived, and she wanted be rid of the scarring episode even more than she wanted Deven.

  By the time her mind was back with her body, and her eyes dried, Makenzie looked worried. She was biting a thumbnail, a habit she only got when nervous.

  “Heffa, I’m okay.” Charli was back, in mind and body.

  “I’m sorry, Charli, I know that there are things that you keep to yourself. And that it’s for a good reason.”

  “Either way, it hasn’t done any good inside my head. Rattling around for nothing. I do know that. Don’t feel guilty for being my friend. That’s what we do. And if I didn’t want to talk about it... then I wouldn’t.” Mak agreed, head nodding.

  Mina, their nail technician, came to Makenzie first. When Johnny, Mina’s husband, finished the full set of nails he was working on, Charli was next. Mina greeted both of them, but she spoke mostly Vietnamese, and her husband was Korean. So Charli felt all right with talking about what she was thinking.

  “I want him, but I know what that means. So I just think I’m going to let it flow. As long as he wants me, then I’ll be with him. I’ve never let myself form bonds to another, Mak. You know that. The only exceptions are you and Mom. When it’s over, then it’s over. I knew the score beforehand, and I will just have to pick up the pieces when it’s done.”

  “But it doesn’t have to be like that, Charli. You could give it a chance. I know he’s feeling you. That may turn into love, and you could have him.”

  “I’m not looking for love, just...” What? A good time? Sex? Charli didn’t know how she could even finish the sentence. Mak must have had the same thought when she just gave her another cocked brow. “Romance.” Charli had never been swept away, wouldn’t let herself go with a man like that. But Dev had romanced her with adventure and blistering sexual heat. “I’ve never given myself the chance to be showered with someone else’s attention. I want that just to tuck away, later when I’m lonely, and need a memory to keep me warm.”

  Charli had never thought of what she was missing when she wandered the path of a hustler and only now did the lack of a family of her own bother her, a husband who loved her and children to kiss before bed. If she kept on barebacking with Dev, she’d get a baby and no husband to go with it. She hadn’t been to the doctor to get her shot in eight months. No point, since she was spending nights alone. She needed to get that appointment made today. Because the way she was getting down with Dev was going to end up one way. Pregnant. Charli caught herself shaking her head in a vain attempt to void the errant, yet not entirely unwelcome thought. There had been a period where she didn’t want kids, but as she got older was sure she could do a better job than her mother. She saw Johnny was headed her way. Apparently he was done with the full set, since his client was under the hand dryer.

  Makenzie looked her way before speaking. “I have one last thing to ask and then I will let the matter drop. Could you love him, Charli?”

  Charli took a moment to look her in the eye and responded, “If it were anyone, it’d be him.”

  The women fell silent, letting the foot massages and hot water pamper them. Charli’s felt so good, she almost nodded off. When the pedicures were done, Mina painted their toenails. Makenzie opted for a turquoise polish and a few gold flowers. Charli decided on a French tip with a few tiny rhinestones on the big toe. As they hobbled to the drying station, toes spread out in foam flip-flops, Mak picked up a couple of bottles of water. Mina was checking on the wax, and Johnny was prepping the rooms and paper underwear.

  Makenzie and Charli looked at a few outdated Cosmo magazines and pointed out things they liked, or laughed at things they hated. By the time they had discarded two of the small stack, Johnny was back. He took Mak first, and Charli was left to her thoughts.

  Long minutes later, Makenzie came out to the waiting area, her eyes and face were beet red. Johnny waved Charli back as her friend gingerly took her seat. When she walked in the small room, Mina gave her a book and in stilted English said, “You choose.”

  Charli already knew what she wanted and pointed to a cartoon picture of the ‘full monty.’

  “Bwaa-jhee-an?” Charli presumed she meant Brazilian, and nodded yes. Mina handed Charli a paper panty and a sheet, and walked out. A few minutes later Mina knocked at the door and, when Charli told her to come in, walked inside.

  The next twenty minutes was torture-filled. Especially when it came to her crack. Oh god, Charli damn near wanted to hurl. The bikini wasn’t bad, she had done that before. This time she decided to go bald as a baby, and the crevices hurt the worst. No wonder Mak had red eyes when she came out. This was going in the “do not repeat” file in her memory for good. When she was done,
Charli put her panties on and picked her steps carefully outside to the car. Makenzie had paid while she was in the back getting torture tactics thrown at her.

  Sitting on the cool leather felt good, and Charli finally felt a little less sore.

  “Can we go to the downtown office right quick?” Makenzie probably wanted to tease her husband with her fresh wax job.

  “Fine by me.” Charli just shook her head. Those two needed to get it out of their systems. She’d thought that over a year of constant sex would get stale, at least a small bit.

  The trip downtown took nearly half an hour between the train and traffic. Once they found a spot, parked the car and they walked up the block to Front Street. When they reached the lobby doors, the guard let them in with a head nod to Makenzie. He was a stocky man, Charli guessed in his mid-50s, a sharp, cautious glint in his eyes and well-trained, erect frame giving away his ex-military status.

  “Good morning, Burke, my guest and I are just going up to see Charyn.”

  “Of course, Mrs. Moreland, allow me to escort you to the elevator.”

  “There’s no need to stand on ceremony, Burke. I can use my elevator key.”

  Burke appeared offended, as if she called him a coward. But he let her pass and eyed them all the way down the hall. Makenzie put a key in a switch by the button marked P, turning and then pressing the button after it backlit. When they reached the top and walked in, the office was surprisingly normal. Not that it was anything less than opulent, but the comings and goings appeared just like any other company she’d seen. There was a lot of crown molding and heavy wallpaper, most likely a fabric. The few employees they passed to the back of the office smiled and greeted Makenzie. They must have seen a lot of her over the last year. When they reached the back of the space, three offices took up the wall. Charyn was standing outside his with Deven.

  Deven’s face lit up when he saw Charli, and she couldn’t help but smile back. Before she got the chance to greet anyone, Charyn greedily secreted his wife into the office behind him, closing and locking the heavy dark-stained door.