When I Find You: A Trust No One Novel

by Brown, Dixie Lee

  “Will you help me?” When she nodded, he handed her the flask. “Pour some on the wound, then take one of those towels and clean it up a little.”

  She did as he instructed and flinched when he sucked in air as the golden liquid stung his exposed flesh. Then she wiped away the dried blood and miniscule pieces of fabric left over from his shirt. He fell silent and when she finally looked at him, he was watching her, frustration evident in his brooding expression.

  “Do you think you might ever do what I tell you to do? I distinctly remember telling you to go to the safe room.”

  “I did.” She shrugged and busied herself with his wound again.

  He sighed. “I see. I should have been more specific, but I’m pretty sure you knew what I meant.”

  “I think it’s clean enough.”

  His gaze was still on her, but she ignored it and concentrated on the wound.

  “We’re not finished with this subject.” Walker produced a square piece of gauze and positioned it over the open wound, then handed her a rolled bandage. “Wrap it snug, but not too tight.”

  “Won’t you please reconsider a trip to the hospital?” There was no use even trying to keep the anxiety from her voice. When he didn’t respond, she thought he might actually be thinking about her proposal. She stretched her arms all the way around him with each wrap of the bandage and secured the end before she glanced at him.

  He was watching her again and amusement shone from his eyes. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you cared.”

  “I care.” She tossed her head. “We’ve got a date—remember?”

  His intent stare unnerved her, and she averted her eyes as a rush of heat made its way to her cheeks.

  He reached out to capture a lock of her hair and pushed it behind her ear, then tipped her chin up so she had no choice but to look at him. “I won’t be forgetting that any time soon. Unfortunately, I wouldn’t be on my best game at the moment. Promise me you won’t go out and find someone else.” His voice teased, but his eyes were serious.

  “Can’t wait forever, Walker.”

  “Oh right—I forgot. You have trouble following directions.”

  “Can we just drop it?”

  “That was a good shot from so far away, but what in the hell were you thinking?” He was serious again and apparently unwilling to let it go.

  “I was thinking he might kill you if I didn’t do something.” They stared at each other a moment before she got to her feet and started cleaning up. He moved back against the pillows.

  “There’s some ibuprofen in my bag. I could use a handful. Would you mind getting me some water?”

  Darcy found the pills in his backpack and retrieved water from the bathroom. After he took them and struggled into a comfortable position, she turned to go.

  He caught her wrist. “Where do you think you’re going?”

  “I thought I’d let you rest and maybe start some dinner.”

  “There’s a rather large bloodstain at the bottom of the stairs. I’ll take care of it later. Or better yet, I’ll have Cooper do it if he ever shows up.”

  A shudder coursed through her. She’d managed to put the sight of Reggie’s bloody torso out of her mind. Now she glanced toward the door uneasily, until Walker pulled her gently toward him.

  “Come here. Sit and talk to me for a while.”

  She hesitated, biting her lower lip. “If I do, will you tell me your first name?”

  He laughed out loud and gripped his side. “Ouch. Don’t make me laugh.”

  “I wasn’t trying to be funny.”

  “I’ll consider it . . . if you promise to do what I tell you next time.”

  That didn’t deserve a response, so she turned until she leaned against the pillows beside him and took his hand in both of hers. “I thought the marshals would want my statement.”

  “They did, but Joe and I convinced them it wouldn’t be a good idea to let it be known you’re here right now.” He squeezed her fingers reassuringly.

  Of course. Walker was always thinking of her safety. She should have known. “Will he live?”

  “I don’t know. He’s in bad shape. If he doesn’t die, he’ll spend the rest of his life in jail. You don’t have to worry about him coming after you again.”

  “It’s over then?” It would just be a matter of time before Walker’s job was done. A full-time bodyguard wouldn’t be necessary if she was no longer in danger. She should be happy. So, why wasn’t she?

  “We’re not out of the woods yet. There’s still DeLuca, who’s probably the only one left under the assumption Johnny is dead and Reggie killed him. He would no doubt go to great lengths to keep you from talking.” He stroked his fingers along her forearm. “As soon as the U.S. marshals arrest him and he finds out Johnny will testify against him, you’ll be out of it.”

  A wave of loneliness hit her so hard it nearly stole her breath. She rolled toward him carefully and laid her head on his shoulder. “So will you.”

  His arm slowly closed around her, pulling her against him, and she waited until he stopped moving and she thought he’d gone to sleep. Then she let the tears she’d been trying to hold back roll down her face. In shame, she hurried to wipe away the ones that pooled on his chest, but he caught her hand and twined his fingers with hers.

  “Look at me.” When she did, he let go of her hand and gently dried her eyes and cheeks with his thumb, then planted a kiss on her forehead. “Why so sad?”

  She laid her head back on his chest. “Well, let’s see. I no longer have a job. I have to say good-bye to Nick and Eddy for forever. No doubt I’ll have to live with my parents for a while until I figure out what to do next. That right there is reason enough to cry.”

  He laughed softly. “You’ll be just fine . . . unless there’s more to it than that.” He tipped her chin up again, and his eyes darkened as he searched her face.

  She looked away as though he might see her secret in her eyes. “Of course, I’ll be fine. I was just feeling sorry for myself.” She grinned halfheartedly. “Thanks for ruining the moment.” It was him she would miss more than anyone. She couldn’t tell him because even she didn’t understand the ache that squeezed her chest when she thought of him leaving. He’d peg her for a fool . . . and maybe he’d be right.

  For now, he was still here beside her. His hand stroking her arm made her yearn for his touch in other places. Her body pressed against his fit perfectly. Why couldn’t he see it? Why was he so sure he wasn’t right for her?

  A few minutes later, a car door slammed. Darcy traced Cooper’s path in her mind—entering the house, walking through the front room on his way to the kitchen, looking for them and stopping to stare at the bloodstain at the foot of the stairs. Almost right on cue, a flurry of footsteps sounded on the landing below.

  “What the hell? Walker? Darcy?” Cooper raced up the stairs, still shouting.

  Walker gave her a lopsided grin. “We better go tell the idiot deputy what happened.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  * * *

  “THIS IS GREAT news.” Cooper followed them into the kitchen. “Reggie’s out of the picture. You’re free and clear. There’s no reason you can’t go meet Johnny and find out what he wants.”

  Walker frowned. The conversation had moved too fast from Reggie Allen being in critical condition to Darcy meeting Johnny. The idea wouldn’t bother him so much if she hadn’t tied his hands. The bottom line was, Johnny failed to keep her safe the night she ran from his house. Why should Walker expect him to do any better the next time? Would Johnny simply let her say good-bye and walk away? Something was wrong with the whole damn scenario. Walker could feel it. If the meeting went to hell and he wasn’t there to protect her, he’d never forgive himself. When the moment came for her to go, it wasn’t likely he’d respect her wishes and stay behind.

  Darcy glanced his way. “We’ll wait a couple days until Walker feels better.”

  “Aw hell, he’ll live. They might move Johnn
y any day. We should go as soon as possible.” Cooper paced as though too excited to sit still.

  “I’ll call Joe—make sure Johnny sticks around for a couple more days.” Walker could have encouraged her to go. Could have told her he’d had hangovers worse than this, but if he could keep her here a few more days, maybe he could change her mind.

  “Okay. Have it your way. No skin off my nose if he’s gone before you get there.” Cooper rose and left the room, shaking his head.

  Darcy crossed to the refrigerator and started pulling out food. “Does leftover chicken and potato salad sound all right for lunch?”

  “Perfect.” Walker winked at her as he dialed Joe’s number. Quickly he related the events of the day and followed up with what Darcy wanted to do.

  “The feds are still reluctant to discuss this, but I’ll see what I can do.” Joe hesitated. “With Reggie out of the picture and the U.S. marshals ready to hand down an indictment against DeLuca any minute, you’ll be done there before long. What’s your plan? Back to that vacation?”

  “I’ll hang here for a while if I can still use the house. I’ve got a hunch something isn’t quite right. Besides, I’d like to make sure Darcy gets home when this is over.”

  “Stay as long as you want.”

  Walker put the phone down and gazed at Darcy. Her back was to him as she rinsed dishes. Her shapely hips in a pair of borrowed jeans made him want to pull her against him. God, she was beautiful, and she had no idea. Taking her home and leaving her there was the right thing to do, even though he was crazy about her. She deserved better than him. Someday the right guy would come along and she’d fall in love. He didn’t want her to regret a night of passion with him that would have been better reserved for someone else. The problem was, he’d been offered the prize and damned if he didn’t want it.

  Walker stood and circled the counter. He slid one arm around her waist and pulled her back against him then pushed her hair aside to kiss her neck.

  She shivered and leaned her head against his chest.

  “You don’t have to feed us, you know. Hell, we could go out for lunch.”

  “You need to rest.”

  “Yes ma’am.” Walker smiled. It had been a long time since anyone had tried to take care of him, and her concern touched a place in his heart he’d thought long dead. She’d probably saved his life today by taking a shot at Reggie, distracting him long enough for Walker to bring his own weapon into play. Something about this whole deal bothered him, though. Whose side was Reggie really on? If Marshal Evans worked for DeLuca, wouldn’t Reggie have known? Walker had a hunch the answers lay with Johnny Fontana.

  “Besides, I’m only warming up leftovers. Cooper doesn’t know it yet, but he’s in charge of cleanup.” She threw a grin over her shoulder as she opened a cupboard and selected three plates.

  Taking the plates from her and setting them on the countertop, he turned her to face him. “Seems like you have everything well in hand, Ms. Maddox.” He tilted her chin up and kissed her gently. When the tears came suddenly to her eyes, he was at a loss to know what he’d done.

  “You scared me today, Walker . . . getting shot . . . and don’t ever send me away like that again. I’m not a child, and I can take care of myself.”

  He brushed the hair back from her cheek. “I know, and I’m proud as hell of you. I wish you’d cut me a little slack, though. I’m supposed to be protecting you.”

  “Right. I keep forgetting I’m just a job to you.” She tensed in his arms.

  “Whoa, wait a minute.” Walker searched for the right words. He couldn’t tell her he’d be hanging around long after his job was done just because he couldn’t stand the thought of leaving her—and he certainly couldn’t tell her he was falling in love with her. Part of him wanted to take away the hurt reflected in her eyes. The other part couldn’t stand the thought of hurting her worse by falling short of her expectations if he told her how he felt. Cooper returned through the garage door and saved him. He released her and she turned back to her work as he plucked two coffee cups from the dish drainer.

  “Coffee, Cooper?”

  “Got any beer?” The deputy walked straight to the refrigerator.

  “Help yourself.” Walker poured two cups of coffee, handed one to Darcy, and turned back to the deputy.

  “Has the director recalled you yet?” Walker studied him, trying to put a finger on why the guy rubbed him so wrong.

  “No. Why would he?”

  “Soon as that indictment comes down on DeLuca, we’ll both be out of a job. I figured they’d want to reassign you as soon as possible.”

  “The director knows Darcy wants me to accompany her to meet Johnny, and he’s agreed. I’ll be around until that’s finished. On the other hand, you could get out of here since you weren’t invited. When are you taking off?”

  “You might say I’ve got a vested interest in what happens to Darcy, so I’ll be staying for a while.”

  Cooper’s displeasure was palpable as he glanced toward Darcy. “Are you sure she wants you to stay?”

  “Yes, I want him to stay. Whatever this chest-thumping thing is between the two of you . . . stop. We’re all on the same side.”

  Darcy’s face was etched with fatigue, but when her eyes met Walker’s, her chin set defiantly, possessiveness surged through him and he ached to hold her.

  Lunch was a quiet affair, although Cooper took the opportunity to campaign for a quick resolution to the Johnny Fontana issue. Walker was proud of the way Darcy stood her ground. As an added bonus, the deputy decided both he and Walker hanging around was overkill and announced he’d check in with his superiors and return in two days.

  Cooper didn’t hang around for his part of the lunch chores, but Darcy wouldn’t hear of Walker helping and shooed him from the kitchen with instructions to go relax while she cleaned up. He took his coffee into the living room and sat facing the windows so he could enjoy the view. A storm was rolling in off the water. The black clouds, broken only by shards of lightning, created a spectacular display of colors in the distance. The wind picked up and the rain beat against the windows.

  “No matter how many times I see that, it still takes my breath away.” Darcy stood quietly behind him for a moment before she came around the edge of the couch and sat beside him. “I locked the doors and set the alarm. I know Reggie is gone and it’s the middle of the day, but I guess I’m still a little jumpy.”

  “It’s a good habit.” Walker put his arm around her waist and tightened his hold until she leaned back against him, then he started to gently massage her bruised shoulder. “I’ve been neglecting this.”

  “It feels much better.”

  “You didn’t have any trouble holding the P22 steady. That was a damn good shot, Darcy. If you like, I’ll find you a bigger caliber handgun so the next time you have to shoot someone, they won’t shoot back.”

  “I hope I never have to do that again.”

  “Me too, but I’d feel better if you were prepared.”

  She was silent for a moment. “Walker, what will you do when this is over?”

  “I imagine Joe will find another job for me.”

  “Will it be dangerous?”

  “It can be, but I’m good at what I do.”

  “Will you ever come back to Oregon?”

  “Seems like I spend quite a bit of time here.”

  “Will you visit me?” She looked at her hands.

  His fingers hesitated on her arm before he caught himself and moved on. If she only knew how much he wanted to say yes. “Sure, if I can.”

  “That wasn’t very enthusiastic.” Her short laugh sounded forced.

  “I’m not the kind of man you should be spending your time with. I guarantee your parents wouldn’t approve. I bet six months from now you’ll be happy you’re rid of me.”

  She sat forward, slipping her arm from his hand, and spoke without looking at him. “You’re not going to honor our agreement, are you?”

  “If,
by agreement, you mean I get you in my bed, I have no intention of backing out—unless you’re having second thoughts.” Please, God, don’t let her change her mind.

  Color rose to her cheeks. “Of course not. It was my idea after all.” She still didn’t look at him.

  “I realize I’m getting the better end of the deal, but there’s something else I’d like from you.”

  “What?” She turned to face him.

  “Let me go with you to meet Johnny.”

  She shook her head before the words were out. “No. We talked about this. You agreed.”

  “I didn’t agree. I decided to wait until you were thinking a little more clearly. They won’t even know I’m there. I’ll stay completely away from you and Cooper. I’ll wear a disguise. Hell, I’ll dress like a woman if you want.”

  She laughed at that and Walker squeezed her hand.

  “Just say you’ll think about it. Please?” He knew he had her before she nodded.

  “Okay, but I’m only thinking about it. I haven’t agreed to anything. And this doesn’t affect our other agreement in any way.”

  “It could. I’m not above having sex in exchange for getting my way.”

  “I’m sure you’re not.” Darcy’s eyes sparkled with amusement.

  He wrapped his arms around her waist again and pulled her firmly against his chest.

  “Walker, I’m going to hurt you.” She tried to push away from him.

  “I’ll let you know if you do.” He turned her face to his and captured her lips in a long, hard kiss. He wasn’t going for serious, but she responded eagerly, and when he felt the first stirrings of arousal, he ignored the warning voices in his head. His hands roamed over the softness of her body, further igniting his desire. “Let’s go upstairs.”

  “I thought . . . we had to wait a few days.” Concern shadowed her eyes. Or was it fear?

  “Apparently, I underestimated the effect you have on me.” He didn’t want her to be afraid of him. Would he let her off the hook if she was?

  “Is it okay? I mean—I don’t want you to hurt yourself.” She blushed again.

  He laughed softly. “I don’t think pain is what I’ll be concentrating on.” She was so warm, soft, and tantalizing. Walker could easily lose himself in her arms. He covered her lips again, his tongue exploring the inside of her mouth. Damn, she tasted good and she was so willing. He wanted her right now, right here. He laid her down on the couch and stretched out beside her. His hands worked on the buttons of her shirt as he kissed her throat, her ears, her lips.