When I Find You: A Trust No One Novel

by Brown, Dixie Lee

  His close proximity made her heart beat erratically, and her struggling left her out of breath. It had nothing to do with his clean, male scent, or his breath stirring the hair near her cheek, or the shiver that snaked through her when he whispered in her ear.

  “You might want to stop squirming . . . unless you’d like to accompany me upstairs right now.”

  Darcy stilled immediately when he pulled her toward him and the hard length of his arousal pressed against her belly. Her lips formed into an O before she clamped them shut. When her eyes met his and registered his apologetic grin, a giggle bubbled up from a place deep inside where she hadn’t laughed in weeks. For a moment, she tried to hold on to her anger. She had every right . . . but constantly reliving the offense only made her miserable. If forgiveness was what he wanted, she could give him that and maybe free herself in the process.

  Decision made, she let the hurt and anger go and her heart lightened in response. Her smile came easily as she propped her elbows on his chest. “If you let me go, there won’t be a problem.”

  Walker leaned back and raised an eyebrow. “Trust me—this problem won’t be going away anytime soon.” He smiled when she snorted a laugh, but a moment later it faded. “You’re right, Darcy. I should have told you about Johnny. Keeping you in the dark was a shitty thing to do. I hurt you, and as much as I’d like to fix that, I can’t. I wouldn’t blame you if you never trusted me again, but before you decide, will you hear me out?” He released her, stepping aside.

  Her escape no longer blocked, the only thing standing between her and the door was the question in his eyes. Forgiving him was easy, but could she take it if he walked out of her life again? If it turned out all he wanted was a proper good-bye and to part as friends, would she bounce back? She had to guard her heart, too, if she was to survive.

  “It’s not necessary to rehash everything, Walker. We had an agreement. I’ll hold up my end. Let’s just leave it at that.”

  “Fuck the agreement!”

  Darcy drew herself up straight, his words stinging like a slap to her face. She couldn’t meet his eyes. “Um . . . I guess that says it all.” She deserved that. She’d all but forced him to make love to her, but she wasn’t sorry. She’d never be sorry.

  He stepped closer and tipped her chin up so she looked at him. “The hell it does. I wish I’d never heard of that agreement.”

  Fresh pain knifed through her, and she jerked away from him, walked to the counter, and started putting away her father’s stack of pans.

  Walker followed and leaned against the counter beside her, his gaze focused on the back door. “After that night with you . . . shit . . . you were mine. I didn’t care whether I was any good for you or not. I didn’t make love to you because of some stupid agreement. I wanted to be with you because I love you. If you’d been there when I got back from my run—if the whole world hadn’t gone crazy—I would have told you to forget any other plans you’d made because you’d be spending the rest of your life with me.”

  He loved her? Darcy straightened and the pan in her hand clattered to the floor. The entreaty in his eyes left her speechless. She didn’t know whether to laugh with the joy that soared through her or listen to her inner voice that warned her not to jump to conclusions—maybe he didn’t love her the same way she loved him. “But you said . . .”

  “Forget what I said. I’m a few years older than you. I’ve been around the block a hell of a lot more. My past may trip me up again someday, just like it did outside that motel. I thought that made all the difference, but when you disappeared that morning, none of it mattered anymore. All I could think about was finding you. I would have sold my soul to get you back. When it turned out the way it did with Johnny . . . and you told me to take a hike, I convinced myself I could let you go if it was the best thing for you.” He shook his head. “Walking away . . . I had no idea how impossible it would be.” He let out a long breath and met her gaze.

  She placed her hands on her hips, a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. “So, which is it? You love me? Or you want what’s best for me?”

  “Both—they’re one and the same. Haven’t you been listening?” A crooked grin appeared briefly and he shrugged. “You’ll just have to get that straight in your head.”

  She walked slowly toward him and stopped in front of him. “I’ve had it straight from the beginning.”

  He reached for her hand, pulled her into his arms, and captured her mouth in a slow, hard kiss that made her stomach clench with need. When he released her lips, he still held her tightly, and leaned his forehead against hers. “Does this mean you might be able to forgive me?”

  She smoothed a hand over his face, needing to touch him with every part of her. “Definitely.”

  Relief flickered in his eyes and he smiled. “I love you, Darcy. If you’ll give me another chance, I’ll spend the rest of my life making this up to you.”

  She shook her head. “No . . . this is over and now officially part of the past, and just like the rest of your past, we won’t let it affect the future.”

  He blinked and studied her for a moment. “You’re very wise, Darcy Maddox.”

  “I know.”

  He smiled and planted a quick kiss on her forehead. “Any chance you might love me back?”

  “There’s always a chance.” Darcy tried to be serious, but when he dragged his fingertips over her rib cage, she laughed. Pressing closer to him, she felt the unmistakable evidence of his desire. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. “I love you, Walker. You’ll just have to get that straight in your head.”

  “Smartass,” he whispered right before he spread his palms on her behind and lifted her against him.

  Darcy broke up in delighted laughter until he set her back on her feet. “You still haven’t explained why you’ve been here, helping my father. You could have left a message for me.”

  “Not on your life. I let you get away once. I’m never making that mistake again.” He released her and took a step back but locked both of her hands in his. “It turned out to be a good thing. Tom and I have a lot in common. He let me stay for a couple days. I found your mother’s list, and we went to work on it.”

  Walker’s eyes darkened as his gaze swept over her. “I told your father things about my life I’ve never told anyone before—ugly things, and he didn’t ask me to leave . . . or tell me to stay the hell away from you. In fact, he convinced me to hang around and find out how you felt. I owe him for that.”

  He tipped his head toward the dining room table. “By the way, I promised Tom we’d both get out of here for a while so they could have a romantic reunion. I’d be honored if you’d have dinner with me and, if you play your cards right, I’ll get us a nice motel room—one that doesn’t blow up in the middle of the night.”

  The memory of the night they spent making love sent a shiver racing up her spine, and she leaned closer. “Not stay here? A man of your talents can’t sneak into a woman’s bedroom without waking up her father?”

  “That’s not the problem.” He smiled mischievously and bent to whisper in her ear. “Pretty sure you’ll be making noise most of the night. Your father may not sleep through that.”

  Darcy blushed and laughed when he nuzzled her ear. “You’re quite confident.”

  “I’m prepared to give the project my full attention.” He hugged her and reached to brush a strand of hair from her cheek. Taking one of her hands, he held it over his heart. “Chancy Beauregard Walker.” He enunciated each name clearly and with a distinctly southern accent.

  Darcy cocked her head curiously and studied his eyes.

  “My name—Chancy Beauregard Walker. Will you marry me, Darcy?”

  Joy and anticipation raced through her. “I don’t know. What would you do if you were me?” She snuggled closer, pretty sure she never wanted to be anywhere else.

  He wrapped his arms around her again and kissed her with hunger that started a fire within her. “That’s easy. If I were you, I�
��d find someone I could trust . . . and stick with him forever.”

  Darcy raised an eyebrow. “Not just until this is over?”

  “This will never be over.”

  She smiled as she slipped her arms around his neck and felt his tighten around her waist. “I’m so happy right now.” She stretched to kiss him, but a second later a frown drew her brows together.

  “What’s wrong?” He leaned back to look at her, concern shadowing his eyes.

  She shrugged. “I would love to marry you, but . . . is it all right if I still call you Walker?”

  His chuckle rumbled in his chest as his lips claimed hers again.

  See how Dixie Lee Brown’s thrilling

  Trust No One series began!

  Keep reading for a sneak peek at

  ALL OR NOTHING

  available now from Avon Books.

  An Excerpt from

  ALL OR NOTHING

  “TRUST ME. THIS is the safest way.”

  Everything required trust with him. So, did she trust him? If she ever got back on the ground, she might be able to answer that question. She looked over the edge of the platform. There’s no way!

  “Take your time. Go when you’re ready . . . unless you want me to give you a little push.”

  “You wouldn’t dare!” She wrapped her arms around the pole.

  “You really don’t trust me, do you?” He laughed.

  “I was starting to, before you said the word push.”

  “There’s hope then? If I choose my words more carefully?”

  “Maybe . . . if I ever get down from here.”

  “Let’s sit for a minute. Things will look different from that perspective.” He sat, dangling his long legs over the side. Cara positioned herself beside him, her hands nervously flexing on the rope that joined her to the zip line.

  “Jumping doesn’t seem any more reasonable from here.” Too bad, since sitting close enough to rub shoulders with him made her nearly as uncomfortable as the stupid zip line.

  “We’ll just hang out and talk for a while then. That okay?” He gripped the edge of the platform and leaned forward, turning to look at her.

  “The last time we talked, it ended badly.”

  “Now we know which subjects to stay away from.”

  “Yeah, anything to do with either of our private lives.”

  “I think it was your ex-husband and my desire to protect you from him that got us crossways with each other.”

  Cara glanced sideways at him. He was looking at her. Their eyes met. The strangest emotions coursed through her. Somehow, it didn’t sound so bad when he said it like that. Who didn’t want a knight in shining armor? She was afraid for Joe, but he sounded so confident he could protect her, and himself, she almost believed it. Recognizing the danger in that, she tore her eyes away from his.

  “We’re making progress. You didn’t rip into me that time.” A grin came through in his voice.

  “It doesn’t do any good to try talking sense into you.” She tried to sound serious, but her heart was no longer in it. She forced her mind back to the task at hand, considering the likelihood she’d ever be able to zip off this ledge. What was the worst that could happen? The cable could break and she’d plummet thirty feet to the ground. End all of her problems. More likely, it would be a gradual descent, with the jump from the platform the only really exciting part. She could do this.

  “We’ve got unfinished business, you know. We might as well take care of it while we’re sitting here.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I almost had you talked into dinner that night we met.”

  “You weren’t even close.”

  “I think you were as intrigued with the idea as I was.” He grinned. “I also think we stood a good chance of ending the evening with a kiss.”

  “That’s a stretch. You’re making the same mistake you made that night. Going from confident to arrogant in about two seconds flat. There was no chance in hell you were going to get a kiss.” Cara smiled at his wounded look.

  “Will my chances ever improve?” His eyes met hers again.

  She’d forgotten what a good-looking guy he was. The same mesmerizing pull she’d experienced the night she met him overcame her better judgment now. For a moment she wondered what it would feel like, his lips on hers, his arms holding her close, while they lost themselves in each other.

  Cara drew herself up short. Was she completely crazy? She was barely free from one dangerous man. Why would she get involved with another? There was an attraction between them she couldn’t deny, but nothing could ever come of it.

  “Maybe.” The word slipped out, almost on its own. Her gaze flew to his, hoping he hadn’t noticed her moment of weakness. He was watching her with his little-boy grin. A smile slowly and deliberately spread across her face. Surprise flickered in his eyes, and something much more intense darkened them. He lowered his head toward hers.

  About the Author

  * * *

  DIXIE LEE BROWN started writing romantic suspense nearly twenty years ago. Then life took a few unexpected turns, and the writing career was put on hold in favor of starting a new life and a new job. One’s passion is not easily forgotten, however. Two years ago, Dixie started writing again—a YA novel—but before she could finish, another idea pushed to the forefront and wouldn’t go away until a full-fledged novel was completed.

  That idea became All or Nothing, the first book in the Trust No One series. All or Nothing placed third in the 2011 TARA Contest (Tampa Area Romance Authors) in the romantic suspense category.

  Dixie now lives in sunny Central Oregon with two small dogs and a cat for company while she writes the third book of the Trust No One series. When she’s not writing, she enjoys reading, movies, and trips to the beach.

  Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins authors.

  By Dixie Lee Brown

  When I Find You

  All or Nothing

  Give in to your impulses . . .

  Read on for a sneak peek at four brand-new

  e-book original tales of romance from Avon Books.

  Available now wherever e-books are sold.

  THE MAD EARL’S BRIDE

  By Loretta Chase

  WANTED: WIFE

  By Gwen Jones

  A WEDDING IN VALENTINE

  A VALENTINE VALLEY NOVELLA

  By Emma Cane

  FLING

  A BDSM EROTICA ANTHOLOGY

  By Sara Fawkes, Cathryn Fox, and Lauren Hawkeye

  An Excerpt from

  THE MAD EARL’S BRIDE

  (Originally appeared in the print anthology Three Weddings and a Kiss)

  by Loretta Chase

  Gwendolyn Adams is about to propose to an earl. On his deathbed. Because she comes from a long line of infamous heir breeders, she is being offered up as the last chance to save a handsome aristocrat’s dying line.

  The Earl of Rawnsley is in for the shock of his life: a surprise bride. No one asked him what he wanted, but if he may die, he most certainly does not want to spend his last days breeding . . . no matter how tempting and infuriating Gwendolyn may be . . .

  “The name is Adams,” she said. “Gwendolyn Adams.”

  He scowled. “Miss Adams, I should like to know whether you are trying to convince me to marry you or to kill myself.”

  “I merely wished to point out how pointless it is, in the circumstances, to quibble about our respective character flaws,” she said. “And I wished to be honest with you.”

  A wicked part of her did not wish to be honest. She realized he was worried about his male urges clouding his judgment. The wicked part of her was not simply hoping the urges would win; it was also tempting her to encourage them with the feminine tactics other girls employed.

  But that was not fair.

  They had turned into the narrow drive leading to the stables. Though the rain beat harder now, Gwendolyn was aware mainly of the beating of
her own heart.

  She did not want to go away defeated, yet she did not want to win by unfair means.

  She supposed the display of her limbs—however much her immodest mode of riding had been dictated by the need for haste and the unavailability of a sidesaddle—constituted unfair means.

  Consequently, as they rode into the stable yard, she headed for the mounting block.

  But Rawnsley was off his horse before she reached it, and at the gelding’s side in almost the same moment.

  In the next, he was reaching up and grasping her waist.

  His hands were warm, his grasp firm and sure. She could feel the warmth spreading outward, suffusing her body, while she watched the muscles of his arms bunch under the wet, clinging shirtsleeves.

  He lifted her up as easily as if she’d been a fairy sprite. Though she wasn’t in the least anxious that he’d drop her, she grasped his powerful shoulders. It was reflex. Instinctive.

  He brought her down slowly, and he did not let go even after her feet touched the ground.

  He looked down at her, and his intent yellow gaze trapped her own, making her heart pound harder yet.

  “The time will come when I will have no power over you,” he said, his low tones making her nerve ends tingle. “When my mind crumbles, little witch, I shall be at your mercy. Believe me, I’ve considered that. I’ve asked myself what you will do with me then, what will become of me.”

  At that moment, one troubling question was answered.

  He was aware of the danger he was in. His fears were the same as those she felt for him. His reason was still in working order.

  But he continued before she could reassure him.

  “I can guess what will happen, but it doesn’t seem to matter, because I’m the man I always was. A death sentence has changed nothing.” His hands tightened on her waist. “You should have left me in the mire,” he told her, his eyes burning into her. “It was not pleasant—yet Providence does not grant all its creatures a pretty and painless demise. And I’m ready enough for mine. But you came and fished me out, and now . . .”