The Blessing

by Elizabeth Price

  Once she’s shattered around me, I flip her over so she’s on her hands and knees with her ass in the air. I give her little peach tattoo a soft kiss before lining myself up with her entrance and thrusting back inside of her. Ronnie meets me with each and every thrust. Her ass is slapping loudly against my thighs. The sounds of her moans fill the otherwise silent bedroom. I groan, knowing that I’m so fucking close. I want Ronnie to get off once more, so I wrap my hand around her body and play with her sensitive clit.

  “I love you, Veronica,” I moan, enjoying the way her full name sounds as it falls from my lips. “I love you so fucking much.”

  “I love you,” she gasps out as her body begins to shake under me. “I’m so close.”

  I can feel her begin to orgasm again. She’s gripping me so tightly that it’s almost painful. “Come for me, beautiful,” I demand, putting more pressure on that sensitive spot between her legs. “I want to feel you, baby.” She finally lets go and her pussy flutters around me. I come violently inside of her, continuing to thrust into her as I ride out my orgasm.

  Sated, I pull out, giving her glistening back a kiss before I lay down at her side. I kiss every bit of her that I can reach. She rewards me with a blissful smile before nestling against my side. I could stay like this forever; being with her is so fucking incredible. We lay together in a comfortable silence for a while until Ronnie decides to break said silence with the question I’ve been dreading.

  “So… are you going to tell me why you have my name tattooed on your finger?”

  I guess the sex hadn’t distracted her like I had hoped it would. Although, I didn’t have a proposal planned out—I didn’t exactly see it going down like this. I know I’ve got to be honest with her; I can’t just dance around the subject because I’m feeling fucking unsure of myself. Taking a deep breath, I mentally prepare for what I’m about to do. I kiss her lips, enjoying the salty taste of her sex before deepening it until we’re both high off the feeling.

  I pull away and smile at her, praying that what I’m about to do goes over well. “I’ll be right back,” I promise before sliding off the bed.

  Quickly pulling on my jeans, I leave the room and head to my apartment across the hall. If I’m going to propose I want to do it right. I briskly unlock my door before jogging into my room to grab her engagement ring from my dresser. My hand is fucking shaking as I carry it back across the hall to her apartment. Have I ever been so fucking nervous in my life? No, I can easily say that I haven’t. The last time I’ve done something this important was when I took up my role as Grey’s father. Although, I was too fucking depressed to feel nervous about my new role back then. Tonight is so different. I’m asking Ronnie to by my wife and Grey’s mother. Grey and I are a packaged deal, and I can’t wait for Ronnie to officially become part of our family. Grey fucking loves her. I fucking love her. I don’t think anything has ever felt so right.

  As soon as Ronnie sees me, her eyes widen and she sits up in bed as she stares at the little black box in my hand. I take a deep breath, trying to calm my insistent nerves. I can’t believe I’m doing this! It all feels so fucking surreal. With a shy smile, I drop to one knee beside the bed and pop open the box for her to see the ring. Her eyes fill with tears as she brings a shaky hand up to cover the surprised look on her face. I fucking pray these are tears of happiness.

  “Veronica,” I begin, my voice shaking with nerves. “Baby, I feel like I’ve been in love with you before I even knew what romantic love was. From the moment you came into my life, everything changed. With you, the sun is always shining on me. I feel optimistic about each and every day. You’re my strength when I feel so fucking weak. You’re my best friend and you understand me better than anyone. You manage to love me even when I don’t love myself. And in those moments when I don’t love myself—I still manage to love you. Every day. Before I met you, I was a broken man. I was always searching for something, and now I realize that I was just searching for you. You give every day meaning. When I’m around you, I forget about all the bad and just focus on the future I want with you. You’re perfect for Grey and me. Without you, we’re not fucking complete. So, Veronica Elizabeth Clark, will you be mine forever? Will you marry me?”

  My body shakes as I await her answer. I can’t help but smile as the feeling of relief washes over me because, despite her answer, I’ve managed to tell her exactly how I feel. I’ve never been good when it comes to words or expressing my emotions, but Ronnie manages to bring out the best in me. A sob escapes her throat as a blissful smile lights up her beautiful face. She holds out her left hand and nods as a tear escape her eye and trails down her flushed cheek.

  “Of course, Trevor. Of course, I’ll be yours,” she says as her voice shakes with, what sounds like, happiness and utter disbelief. “I love you so much.”

  My heart feels so full. I think it might fucking erupt. I laugh and all the tension in my body releases all at once as I soak up her answer. I can’t believe it! This beautiful, perfect girl has agreed to be mine! I slide the ring onto her finger before pulling her off the bed and into my arms. This girl is mine. This gorgeous, intelligent, hilarious, wonderful girl is mine! I kiss her, pouring all the love I’m feeling in my heart into that kiss. I only break it when I hear our son start to cry.

  I grin, wanting him to be a part of this perfect moment, as well. Ronnie is getting both of us after all. I give her one quick peck on the lips before getting up and hurrying out of the room to grab my son. He stops crying as soon he sees my smiling face. I pick him up and hold him safely in my arms. Bliss. I’ve never felt such fucking bliss.

  “Dada!” He gives me a big grin and grabs ahold of my finger.

  “Yeah, buddy. Daddy’s really happy.”

  I kiss every inch of his chubby, little face before carrying him back to Ronnie’s bedroom. She dressed in a pair of pajamas while I was gone and is waiting for us on the bed. She’s staring down at her engagement ring, eyes beaming with excitement and disbelief. We join her on the bed and I place Grey safely between us—enjoying a small glimpse of the rest of our lives together. It could always be just like this: one happy fucking family.

  “I can’t believe how lucky I am,” I quietly muse as I watch him crawl onto her lap. “Are you happy?” I ask as I bend down to kiss her cheek.

  “I’m so happy,” she whispers in return, then reaches down to tickle Grey’s belly. “I love you, Trevor William Warren. I can’t wait to be your wife.”

  My wife. No words have ever sounded sweeter.

  chapter 36

  the background

  My relationship with my father has been on shaky ground as of late but I can’t contain myself in this moment. I’m far too elated to resist. Out of everyone in the world, my dad’s the first person I want to call to share my good news with. I’ve barely talked to him lately but calling him now almost feels like second nature to me. It reminds me of the times when I would go to him for everything. He used to be such a strong, influencing presence in my life. Which sounds strange when I think of it, considering what I fuck-up I had been back then. Even when I was brawling, drinking, and whoring around I still looked up to him as the type of man I wanted to be one day: the type of man who could hold any situation together.

  Just hearing his voice over the phone makes me feel like a little kid again: excited to tell my dad about my good news. I remember how thrilled I’d be whenever I had a new drawing or an impressive grade to show him—back when I cared about that sort of thing, of course. That was long before I went to high school and started acting like a complete shit. It’s strange to think about the sort of relationship I had with my dad before all of this shit happened. Maybe one day I’ll find it in my heart to forgive him and move on, and maybe then we’ll be able to go back to the dynamic we had before.

  “Trevor?” I hear my dad’s voice tremble as he answers the phone. He’s obviously shocked that I’m calling. I’ve been avoiding him like the fucking plague, and now I feel terrible for it
. Despite what he’s done, he’s lost so much over this past year. And the idea of losing me too must be unbearable for him. “Son, is that you?”

  I smile at the sound of his voice, despite myself. “Hey, Dad.” I can imagine him smiling over the phone as he remains silent. Cutting to the chase I quickly tell him, “I’m calling because I have some news. Some really good news.” I can’t wipe the smile off my face. Just thinking about being a husband in the near future has me fucking giddy. “Giddy.” A word which I never fucking use. “I asked Ronnie to marry me.”

  “Are you serious, Trevor?” he quickly responds. I can hear the pride filling his tone. “What did she say, son?”

  “She said ‘yes,’ ” I reply with a grin.

  “Trevor, that’s amazing!” I hear his voice is shaking, and I wonder if he’s crying.

  The last time I heard my dad cry was when… when Dean died. This time, however, he sounds happy. I’ve made my dad happy. I’ve made him proud. I can’t begin to explain how that makes me feel. I never thought that would be possible for me. Sure, he could fake it now and then, but these past few months have made me feel as though I’m actually worth something in his eyes.

  “I’m so proud of you, son. I can’t believe my boy is getting married!”

  “I can’t believe it, either,” I say, joining in on his contented laughter. It’s a strange bonding moment between us, and I feel uncomfortable all of the sudden. I won’t forget about his faults, but I still want a relationship with him. With my brother gone, I really want my father actively involved in my life.

  I want to smooth things over with him. Despite his flaws, he’s still a good man. Fuck, I’ve made so many horrible decisions in my life and he’s accepted and loved me without conditions. Of course, he provided me with “tough love” when I needed a swift kick in the ass, but that didn’t mean he didn’t forgive me all the same. I need to work on forgiving him. I need to salvage our relationship. Grey needs his granddad in his life. I can’t take that away from him because of my own grievances.

  Still high off of Ronnie’s acceptance of my proposal, I suggest we get together. “Why don’t we get together sometime soon? It’s been a while; I miss you.” The words leave my mouth before I can really consider what the fuck I’m really saying. You know it’s the truth, Trevor. I do fucking miss him. But I’m not sure if those feelings will change when I finally do see him face-to-face. “Maybe you could bring Felicity along, as well?” I sound so fucking formal, but what am I supposed to call her? Mom? Not fucking likely. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to call her that. She abandoned me as a baby, after all.

  “Sure, son,” he says after a few heartbeats. I wonder if he’s hesitant, or just surprised that I want to make an effort to know this woman. “She’d love that. Just tell us a day that works best for you.”

  We make plans for two days from now before saying goodbye. It felt good talking to him. For a moment, I forgot about all the bullshit between us. I’m starting a new chapter of my life and I’d like to just put all the crap of my past behind me and fucking torch it. I don’t want to have to dwell on any bullshit in the future. So, I’ll do my best to resolve this shit with him and this Felicity woman.

  “Trevor, babe, you look fine, I swear. If you would stop fidgeting I’d be able to do this,” Ronnie says with an exasperated sigh as she lathers my face with shaving cream.

  I’m too fucking nervous to do any of this myself. Although, I’m not going to admit that to her. Instead, I had told her I wanted to be close to her. Which I’m sure means the same thing. The last thing I want to do is seem needy, but Ronnie’s presence really calms me and today will mark the first—and hopefully not last—time I really talk to my biological mother.

  “You look so tired, babe,” Ronnie says with a frown as she takes the razor blade to my face. “Did you sleep at all?”

  I kept myself distracted most of the night with Ronnie beneath me, on top of me, and on her knees before me, but once she fell asleep I couldn’t fall asleep regardless of how hard I tried. I spent the majority of the night with my eyes closed, just hoping that something would come and knock me out so I could actually get some rest. So, my body’s now tired and my mind is reeling with the possibilities of every way things could possibly go wrong today.

  “I slept a little,” I lie as I watch her through the mirror.

  She bends down to kiss the top of my head before she finishes shaving my face. She then picks up a pair of scissors to give my hair a trim. She insisted on the haircut, probably because she remembers how calming the experience was for me last time. That’s one of the things I love about Ronnie: I never have to tell her about the shit I’m too embarrassed or afraid to say out loud. She’s always one step ahead of me and seems to know exactly how I feel before I know. It’s like she’s known me my entire life.

  “Everything is going to be fine,” Ronnie assures me. I’m sure if I’d say it as much as she does, I’d start to believe it, too. “Besides, you’ll have Grey and me there with you. It’ll be fine.”

  “Fine,” I say, testing out the word. While “fine” doesn’t sound too hopeful, I suppose I can live with it. It definitely won’t be “great,” that’s for damned sure. “It’ll be okay. I just don’t know how I’ll react when I see them together.”

  “I guess we’ll find out,” she says. After a moment she begins to tame my unruly hair with her scissors. “Just know that no matter what happens, we’ll be able to come home and relax. At the end of the day you have Grey and me, and that’s all that matters.”

  She’s right. Everything else is just extra. I have to learn to accept the things I can’t change—something I’ve heard time and time again at my A.A. meetings—and my mother and father’s life choices are something I’ll never be able to govern or understand. The only thing I can control is how I react to things. I’ve got to promise myself that I won’t go off on my father—no matter what happens between us today. This is supposed to be a day to celebrate my engagement, not a day to rehash all of our shit.

  “You’re right. Like always, babe,” I say as I turn my head to kiss her on the stomach.

  She giggles at the feeling of my lips against the ticklish skin of her stomach and steps away. “Hey, at least you’ll look really handsome today,” she says with an exhilarated smile.

  Handsome to her. I’m not sure what my mother will think when she sees me, but to hell with it. She left me and never gave a shit about getting to know me until my father was finally single. She can take me like I am now or leave me. Either way, I don’t give a damn.

  The whole “not giving a fuck” ploy dissipates as soon as I see her. Felicity, my biological mother, is a complete stranger to me. However, I can feel the warmth she radiates as soon as I look at her. There’s no denying there’s a familiarity about her, but that doesn’t change any of my feelings toward her. Regardless of the strange connection I feel—I can’t forget about what she’s done. Or what my father has done, for that matter. I put on a brave face, carrying Grey in one arm and holding onto Ronnie’s hand with the other as we make our way to my parents’—God, it feels fucking strange saying that—table in the corner.

  They watch us as we cross the restaurant’s dining room. Their once calm and impassive expressions now fill with pride as they view my little family. I can’t help but feel so incredibly fucking young and vulnerable as I walk toward my mom for the very first time. Ronnie tightens her hold on my hand, informing me that my feelings are transparent as she provides me with silent support. I glance in her direction out of the corner of my eyes and give her a tight, uncomfortable smile before looking back at my… parents. Shit, will saying that ever feel normal? Maybe I’m just pushing myself too soon.

  I can’t help but notice how comfortable they look together—how happy. They look like long lost lovers. I feel happy—in a strange way—seeing my dad happy. However, I can’t help but feel wrecked at the same time. He played with my mother’s—well, the woman I thought was my m
other—emotions for years. I can’t even imagine what it must’ve felt like for her to look at me. I wonder how she could stomach it.

  I force an impassive look on my face as we reach the table, my dad rises to greet us. It seems that Felicity is too overwhelmed to join him. She elects to remain seated at the table; her eyes dart between Grey, Ronnie, and me. She looks happy and nervous at the same time. Oddly enough, that makes me feel slightly better, knowing I’m not the only one feeling anxious and out of place.

  “Felicity, this is Trevor,” Dad begins. There’s a twinge of discomfort coloring his voice. “Trevor, this is Felicity Leigh… your biological mother.”

  As Dad continues with the uncomfortable introductions, I realize that all the feelings I’d expected to have never come. I expected hostility, confusion, or the ever-crippling fucking sadness. However, I feel nothing other than a strange connection to this woman I barely know. It feels like there’s something tethering us together and it’s impossible to ignore—despite my effort. The sappy thought makes me feel even more pathetic and uncomfortable as they pass through my mind. But it’s fucking true, regardless of how corny it sounds to me. She feels like my mother. If that’s even possible.

  As soon as Dad’s finished, I give her a pathetic, “Nice to meet you,” while shifting uncomfortably on my feet. I want to scream at her like a spoiled, pissed off teenager to make up for lost time. Yet, I still want her to comfort me in her arms like a small child, telling me that all this shit will be okay and she loves me. None of this happens, of course; instead, I just remain silent until my dad speaks up again.

  “Sit down,” Dad jovially states with a wave of his hand at the open chairs. “We were just about to order.”

  I take a seat and instead of putting Grey in his high chair, I keep him comfortably on my lap for moral support. I can’t help myself, knowing Grey’s closeness always makes me feel so much stronger. Ronnie sits beside me and gives my parents a friendly smile before glancing over the menu in front of her. As soon as we put in our drink order, Dad begins instantly boasting about my good news.