The Blessing

by Elizabeth Price

  “Maybe I can think of a way to ease my anxiety,” I say as I slide up her body to kiss her lips.

  She giggles out of shock before moaning as I play with her bottom lip. About half an hour later I’m feeling sated and less anxious; my mind is far from the issues awaiting me tomorrow. Maybe that shit won’t go as poorly as I’ve been imagining. I have had quite the lucky streak lately. I definitely don’t want that streak to end when I finally come face to face with her dad. He sure as hell isn’t going to be thrilled I asked her to marry me without his consent but fuck it. I’ve never done anything the conventional way, so why start now?

  A chill runs up my spine as I feel the rays of sunlight filtering in through the cracks of my blinds, stirring me awake. I feel around for Ronnie. When I come up short I open my eyes to find her getting dressed. My eyes then drift to the alarm clock which is perched on my bedside table, and they widen in surprise once I see it’s just after five o’clock in the morning. What the hell is she doing up so early on a holiday?

  “Babe, what the hell? It’s early. Come back to bed,” I say, patting the empty spot beside me.

  She chuckles as she steps into a pair of yoga pants. “I can’t, Trev. I have to start baking my pie. I should’ve done it last night, but someone”—she gives me a pointed look—"was distracting me.”

  “You didn’t mind the distraction at the time.”

  “I still don’t mind last night’s distraction, but it just means I have to get started a little bit earlier than I originally planned.” I pout at her, making her roll her eyes in return. “That’s not going to work again, and you know it. I’m already behind enough as it is. You want my dad to be in a good mood, don’t you? Well, he’s not going to be too keen about anything if he’s hungry.”

  I don’t know whether she’s pulling my leg or not, so I drop the whole puppy dog act and collapse back against the mattress in defeat. The pout worked for me last night when I had a raging hard-on. Ronnie wanted to bake one of her pies and I wanted to fuck. Thankfully, I got my way. I’m sure my act looked foolish to her. However, when I began thrusting inside of her, I was completely blissful, not caring how I looked moments before.

  “Well, if you think it’ll help my chances with your father—then you should probably get to baking, babe.”

  Before she leaves the bedroom, she turns to say, “Trev, he’ll like you. Why don’t you try to go back to sleep? Get your mind off things.”

  I nod before cozying up in the blankets. Considering how fucking wired my nerves are, sleep is fucking hard to come by. I lay in bed for a while, staring at the ceiling while trying to clear my mind. I finally give up and decide to seek out Grey. I slip on a pair of pajama pants before trudging out of the bedroom and down the hallway to his room. I hear music and decide to check it out before seeing to my son. I find Ronnie in the kitchen, swaying her hips to a song playing on the radio. She’s completely oblivious to anything except baking. I can’t help myself. I admire her sexy ass for a few moments before I turn back down the hall and continue to Grey’s room.

  Hearing someone coming toward him, Grey begins to cry and fuss in his crib. Luckily, I’m quickly at his side to pick him up and soothe him before his crying turns into a giant tantrum. Now that he’s getting a bit of attention he’s wide awake and ready to get moving, so I do my best to quickly change his diaper and get his onesie back on before he wriggles out of my hands. Chuckling at his enthusiasm I place him on the carpet, then I sit down at his side. He quickly crawls across the floor toward his toy trunk that’s full of stuffed animals. He chooses a few to drag back to his seat next to me. He struggles with two large stuffed animals—one a bear and one a purple dragon—before deciding to bring them to me one at a time. When he goes back for the second animal he stands and attempts to walk with it back toward me; but that plan quickly goes south and he lands on his ass. Thankfully, he’s become a good sport and is quick to get back up and try again.

  After a few more tries, he finally reaches me. It’s moments like these which have me surging with pride. I can’t believe my little guy is growing up so fast! It feels like just yesterday when I held him for the very first time, and now he’s walking and saying his first words. I don’t know what I’ll do when he strings together his first sentence. It’ll be fucking incredible. I can already tell that he’s going to be extremely smart. Way smarter than I could have ever hoped he’d be. He impresses everyone he meets; sometimes I wonder if I have something to do with that. However, I’m sure most of this just comes naturally to him because Dean was pretty much perfect, after all.

  Grey stands up to run back to grab another toy and trips. Before I can reach out to catch him, he falls right on his face and begins to howl in pain. He fell on the thick rug—thank, God—so I know the damage can’t be too bad. However, that doesn’t keep me from practically having a heart attack.

  “Fuck, buddy!” I curse, cuddling him protectively in my arms. “Fuck, are you okay?” I know I shouldn’t swear around him—and I’m kicking myself for doing so—but I can’t help the words as they slip out. His fall has me shook up.

  Grey answers with a cry and buries his face into my neck. I gently pull his head back to get a good look at him; breathing a sigh of relief when I realize he’s perfectly fine. I trace his face with my fingertips, and the sensation calms him down in no time. When he’s feeling better he looks up at me with wide, curious eyes and gives me a small smile. I smile back with a profound sense of relief now that I know my son is okay.

  His smile grows wider and he reaches up to touch my face as his mouth begins to move. It looks like he’s trying to pronounce the letter “f,” which instantly has me fucking nervous. What if his next word is “fuck”? How fucking awkward would that be? Especially with family coming over in a few hours. It would be so embarrassing. I make a mental note to stop cursing around him because he’s definitely not big enough to know those words.

  “Dada!” he finally squeals with a smile before he kicks his feet until I let him back down onto the floor to play.

  An hour later, I decide I better get Grey ready for the day. Ronnie told me various times how Eden likes to just drop by early and unannounced. I don’t want her to arrive finding Grey and I looking as if we just rolled out of bed. I run a bath for both of us because I’m still too fucking exhausted to bathe him and get him dressed, then get ready myself. This makes things so much more manageable. I add some of that bubble bath shit Ronnie loves before getting him out of his onesie and stripping out of my own pajama pants. I settle into the tub with him safely in my arms.

  He splashes the water around him and laughs as he plays with all of the bubbles. Although I’m still half-asleep after the restless night I had, I smile as I watch him. He’s so fucking energetic and it’s pretty damn funny to watch. He twists and turns in my arms until he finally giggles and places his head on my chest. I’m glad he’s giving me a break today because washing him is usually a nightmare for me. I love to watch him have fun, of course, but it’s impossible to get anything done when he’s a ball of fucking energy.

  “Dada! Dada!” he exclaims as I begin to wash his hair.

  Since he’s so calm, I play with his hair and give him a Mohawk before he pushes my hand away and smiles before saying, “No!”

  I roll my eyes at his new word and smile back. “‘Yes.’ Can you say ‘yes,’ Grey? ‘Yes,’ ” I say, over-enunciating the word for him.

  “No,” he giggles at me before his interest returns to the bubbles.

  I finish cleaning him up before I quickly wash myself. I want to look good for Ronnie’s dad. I want him to think I’m the perfect match for his daughter. Well, “perfect match” might be a stretch; I’d just settle for him not hating me. I wash my hair and even fucking condition it before I finally feel like I’m clean enough. As soon as I finish I have to fucking laugh because I can’t believe I’m still so nervous about this. He’s just a man, Trevor. So, what’s my deal, then? Well, he’s not “just a man,” he�
�s my future father-in-law. I know I can’t keep thinking this way. If I do, I’ll probably lock myself in the bedroom and never fucking leave. I sigh, leaning back and relaxing in the lukewarm water while watching Grey as he continues to play.

  This day will be awkward as hell. I can’t believe I allowed Ronnie to talk me into this whole “family time” thing. Who knew it would be so fucking frightening? My Thanksgiving is going to consist of a “small”—Ronnie’s words, not mine—get-together consisting of: my dad and mom, Ronnie’s dad, Eden, Quinton, and their daughter, Harper. I wish it could just be Ronnie, Grey, and I. That’d make things a hell of a lot easier.

  “You ready to get out, buddy?” I ask, turning Grey around to face me.

  “No!”

  “Of course not.” I snort. “It’s time to get out, buddy. We’ve got to get ready and help Mommy.”

  “Dada,” he responds, giving my hand a little kiss.

  I kiss his forehead, then reach down to pull the plug and get out of the tub. Grey’s shivering now that we’re out of the water, so I wrap him in a towel before making my way to his room to get him dressed. I hear a gasp as I make my way down the hallway to his room and turn to see Ronnie. Her face is covered in flour, but I can still see the deep blush that stains her cheeks. It’s only then, that I realize I’m naked and dripping wet.

  “What’s up, babe?” I casually ask, trying hard not to smirk.

  Ronnie’s gaze trails from my toes up my body, until she finally reaches my eyes. Her blush deepens, and she smiles as she says, “Can you run to the store for me? I know it’s going to be packed, but I ran out of vegetable shortening and eggs.”

  “That’s fine, babe. I’ll go,” I answer with a shrug.

  Standing in line at the grocery store would be a hell of a lot better than sitting around here—letting my nerves get the best of me. It’s also nice to know I’m making my girl happy. Her face lights up at my answer as she skips over to me, kissing me full on the mouth before backing away to give Grey’s cheek a kiss, as well.

  “You’re a lifesaver. No rush… but you might want to head out now. I’m sure it’ll be packed and the lines will be pretty long. I still have to finish my pecan pie.”

  I roll my eyes and throw her a smile. “Let me get my pants on first. I’m sure I’d give someone a heart attack if I left the apartment like this.”

  I throw on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt before getting Grey dressed in the outfit I laid out for him the night before. It’s a nice blue polo and a pair of jeans. I wanted him to look nice, but I didn’t want to dress him too nice because I knew he’d be messy as fuck by the end of the day. Besides, when kids are dressed too nice, it gives me the creeps. It’s like they’re sending off some serious Children of the Corn vibes. After I have us both ready, I grab my keys, kiss my girl goodbye, and head to the store like the perfect hubby-to-be I am.

  Traffic is fucking crazy on the way. I know it’s the busiest day of the year for traveling, but Jesus; I thought they would’ve gotten to where they’re going by now. I try not to get too aggravated because I know I’ve got a long day ahead of me. When I finally reach Safeway, the parking lot is just as packed as the highway was. I take a deep breath and imagine how nice a cigarette would be at a time like this. Fuck, I can taste the tobacco on my tongue right now! I hit my head against the steering wheel in frustration before getting out of the car. I’m happy to see Grey is blissful and carefree as I unbuckle him from his car seat. I wish I could be as content, but my life experiences seemed to have made me jaded. At least I’m not as jaded as I once was. Before Grey and Ronnie, I didn’t give a single fuck about anything and found everything in life to be pointless and trivial. Now, everything is so different I barely recognize it—and I especially don’t recognize myself. I’m such a changed fucking man, apparently.

  This thought lifts my spirits as I walk toward the grocery store with Grey strapped to my chest in a baby sling. I’ll get through today, and regardless of whether Ronnie’s dad likes me or not, I know everything will be fine. My life is finally moving in a good direction and nothing will change that.

  I practically run right into a frantic shopper as soon as I walk through the automatic doors. He looks just as fucking flustered as I feel as he brushes past me with his groceries. I pull out the list I jotted down and try to decipher my shit handwriting as I begin to make my way through the store. The baking aisle is, of course, fucking shit wrecked. There’s a few older women surrounding the flour and sugar, making it difficult for me to get around them carrying a baby in one arm and a basket in the other. Shouldn’t they be prepared for this? Isn’t this what old people live for? When I finally do get around their carts, I practically run into a woman who looks way too happy to see me. I can’t help but notice her tit job. They’re so pointy they look like they could poke a fucking eye out. I then look to her unintentionally—I’m sure that wasn’t the “look” she was going for—expressionless face before giving her a tight smile and moving past her.

  “That’s such a cute baby,” she comments with an inviting smile. “How old is he?”

  Sometimes, I genuinely wonder if women are actually interested in babies when they mention them, or if it’s just a way to talk to the dad. I used to tell myself: perhaps they do actually find Grey cute. It wouldn’t be hard to imagine. He is the cutest baby I’ve ever seen. Although, my opinion is rather biased. However, I find it hard to believe they’re very interested in him when their eyes are glued to me. I just don’t get this behavior at all. Doesn’t a baby indicate that I’m in a committed relationship? Or at least hint to that idea? I know single dads exist; I also know I’m not wearing a wedding band or anything like that, but I feel like I give off the “I’m taken” vibe. If that’s even a thing.

  “Thanks,” I finally reply, not bothering with the pretense of coming off too friendly. “He’s ten months.”

  “That’s wonderful,” she coos. “So, are you doing some last-minute shopping?”

  What the fuck does it look like I’m doing? “Yep. Just picking up a few things. My fiancée is at home baking,” I say dismissively before I begin to continue down the aisle.

  “I could help you find what you need,” she quickly replies, not letting our conversation come to an end like I hoped it would.

  I feel bad for her. Maybe she really can’t take a hint. I guess she’s hot in that MILF sort of way, but I’m not buying what she’s selling. If it were a few years ago… I would’ve been more than happy to take her up on her sleazy offer. But now that I’ve got Ronnie, everyone else is shit in comparison.

  “I’m fine, thanks. Nice meeting you,” I awkwardly say before attempting to move down the aisle again.

  “Brenda,” she calls out.

  I look over my shoulder and give her an uncomfortable smile before walking away. Why does this always seem to happen to me? I’m happy the rest of the women in the aisle are old enough to be my grandmother and are too busy actually shopping to pay me any attention. I find the items on my grocery list in peace. Or at least, as peaceful as one can be in an obnoxiously crowded store. I manage to grab the last carton of eggs the store has before I bolt toward the checkout. As I turn the corner on the way to the self-checkouts, I run into another shopper and dropping my basket, cringing as I hear it crash onto the floor.

  “Fuck!” I groan in exasperation as I see the state of the only carton of fucking eggs I managed to find. I guess I’ll have to get that fucking vegan shit, after all.

  “Sorry, man.”

  I recognize that voice. I look up to see Travis standing in front of me with an apologetic look on his face. Grey cries, probably because he senses my annoyance, and I suddenly feel terrible that I’ve upset him. Damn, I need to stop cursing in front of him. I don’t want him to be sounding like me by the time he’s three years old. I rub his back and kiss his temple; he instantly calms down.

  “Sorry, Trevor. I guess I didn’t see you.”

  “It’s fine,” I say, bending down to
pick up the contents of my basket. Aside from the eggs, everything else seems to be fine. Hopefully, Ronnie won’t be too pissed about this. Travis obviously sees what I’m freaking out about and from what I guess is out of guilt, hands me the carton of eggs he has in his handbasket.

  “You can take these, man. Since I fucked up yours and all. I can find some later.”

  “Thanks.” Thank. Fucking. God. Ronnie would’ve killed me.

  “You cooking?” he asks with a surprised look on his face.

  I don’t blame him. I’ve never really cooked before in my life. The fanciest dish I’ve ever made is macaroni and cheese. “Um, no. You know I can’t cook worth a shit, Travis. Ronnie’s at home baking right now. She just ran out of a few things.”

  “You having your family over for Thanksgiving?”

  “Ronnie’s family, as well,” I add with a nervous laugh and a nod of my head. “We’re having it at her apartment. She’s been preparing for it all week.”

  “That’s awesome, man. So, you’re meeting her parents then?”

  “Well, just her dad. Her mom died when she was little,” I explain.

  “That’s terrible,” he says with a frown. “Are you nervous about meeting him?”

  I laugh. “Is it that obvious?”

  “Well,” he says with a small smile and a shrug, “I wasn’t going to say anything, but you seem kind of off-kilter.”

  “Yeah, I’m pretty fucking nervous.”

  Grey makes a few noises and looks me dead in the eyes as if he was trying to form a word again. If he says “fuck,” I’m going to shit myself right here. Luckily, he says, “Dada,” and giggles before going back to looking curiously around the store.

  “It’ll be fine,” Travis assures me. “I’m having dinner with my folks. We’ll probably watch football on television or something like that.”

  “That sounds fun, man. I’d kill for a low-key night like that.”

  “It’ll be all right, Trevor.” He pauses for a moment, and then smiles and adds, “We’ve got to get together soon.”