A Wedding on the Beach

by Holly Chamberlin

  “I’m listening,” she said. I am an independent woman, she added silently, and I am choosing to listen.

  Chris sighed. “I don’t know where to start,” he began. “It all goes so far back . . . Back to my childhood if that doesn’t sound like too much of a cliché. Back to what happened to me when Robby was sick.”

  “Yes,” Allison said. “I know.”

  “I’ve had so much time to think about how I acted after the miscarriage. I’m ashamed I put my own emotional needs before yours. I should have been more understanding and supportive. You were suffering, too. I should have been able to see that and to feel empathy for you. But I wasn’t able to. It was as if a part of me had died along with the child. I . . . For a time, I thought I was going mad. That’s not an excuse for my behavior,” he added hastily. “Just the truth.”

  Allison felt her heart wrench with pity. “Thank you for sharing that,” she said after a moment. “It means a lot.”

  Chris looked out over the water. “Your ring,” he said. “You were wearing it yesterday.”

  “I was. I took it off after we talked. I was upset.” She didn’t tell him that her finger felt odd without it.

  “I see.”

  “Do you still have yours?” she asked.

  “Of course,” Chris said, turning back to her. “There have been times when I’ve wanted to put it on again, but I felt I had no right to wear it. Always yours. I forfeited that gift two years ago.”

  Had he really? Allison wondered. “What did you hope to accomplish by coming here to Maine?” she asked. She did not mean the question as a challenge. But she did want an answer.

  “I hoped to see if you would agree to give us another chance,” Chris said without hesitation. “You’re all I need in this life, Allison. If you’ll have me back I’ll be the happiest, most grateful man alive. And I’ll do everything in my power to make you the happiest woman alive.”

  “My happiness is ultimately my responsibility,” Allison said evenly. “But I appreciate your intent.”

  Chris nodded and said nothing more. That was all right. Sometimes, Allison knew, silence was enough. She looked into the eyes of the man she had married with such hope in her heart. He returned her steady gaze. And she realized as the moments passed that that man, her husband, was still there before her. He was. He had gone through a dark passage and had taken his wife along with him on that journey. She had gone willingly, mostly. The journey had ended badly. But the marriage—their love—didn’t have to do the same. It just didn’t.

  “Yes,” Allison said, her voice strong. “Yes, I’ll have you back. Because I still love you.” Maybe not in quite the same manner as she once did, she realized. But she did still love him. And in the end, love was what mattered most.

  Chris looked as if he might faint. He stumbled a bit before reaching for her hand. “Allison,” he said, his voice raspy with emotion, “thank you. I still love you, too, and I’ve come to realize that I never did stop loving you, not even when my selfish grief was trying to mask every ounce of affection I had ever felt for you.”

  “I believe you,” Allison said. “But there are some things you need to know.” The feel of Chris’s hand around hers made Allison weak in the knees, but she soldiered on. “I won’t go through ART again.”

  Chris nodded. “I thought as much. It’s okay.”

  “In the future, assuming there is a future for us,” Allison went on, “I might like to consider adoption.”

  “Yes,” Chris said. “All right.”

  “Also,” Allison went on, “I’m considering seeking out my birth parents and if I go ahead with that I’m going to need your support. In the past, you were adamantly against the idea, and maybe for the best of reasons, but it’s not your decision to make.”

  “You’re right,” Chris agreed. “It isn’t my decision.”

  “And we should see a counselor together, in addition to seeing our own therapists,” Allison went on. Boy, she thought. I could get to enjoy this laying down of the law! A line from her beloved Jane Eyre came to her then: “Where there is energy to command well enough, obedience never fails.

  “I’ll be keeping my own place,” she went on, “until we can reestablish an emotional intimacy and trust.”

  Still, Chris did not object.

  “We’re going to have to work hard, Chris, and even that won’t necessarily be enough to bring us together again for the long run. I’ve come to believe in luck playing a part in our lives. Call it fate if you’d prefer.”

  Chris nodded. “I finally understand that we can’t control our lives, not entirely. We can’t keep our little brothers alive and we can’t bring them back to life, either, no matter how hard we try. It’s unfair to ourselves and to the ones we love to persist in such an impossible pursuit.”

  Suddenly, Allison was seized with a fit of laughter. “I’m sorry,” she gasped after a moment. “I don’t know why I’m laughing. None of this is funny. It’s just that I’ve laid down so many rules and regulations. . . How can you bear to take me on?”

  “How can I bear not to?” Chris countered with a laugh of his own. He reached out to hug her and Allison welcomed his arms around her. She felt herself sag into him; the sense of relief was enormous. Welcome home, she told him silently. We do not belong apart.

  “Should we tell the others, or keep this to ourselves until we know we’ll be okay?” she whispered. And that might not ever happen. She would need to be prepared for that eventuality, as well as for a happier one.

  “This is your call,” Chris said. “I’ve proved I’m not always so great at making smart decisions for the both of us.”

  “All right,” she said, stepping back from their embrace. “We’ll tell them.”

  “I’m so sorry I demanded your silence about what happened between us,” Chris said. “It was wrong in so many ways.”

  “It was. But that was then.” A shred of laughter caused Allison to look back toward Driftwood House. “I really should be getting back,” she said. “Who knows what funny snaps I’m missing. You know,” she said as they began to walk, “your mother sent me the article from the Chicago Tribune announcing your big win. Congratulations. I know how hard and for how long you worked to land that assignment. But you didn’t even mention it the other night at dinner when Chuck asked how the business was going.”

  “The victory didn’t feel like much of a victory without you to share it with me,” Chris admitted. “So, my mother contacted you?”

  “I was glad. She wasn’t sure I’d want to celebrate your win, but I did. I was happy for you and I told her so.”

  “She’s a good person, my mother. Both of my parents. They’ve been incredibly supportive.” Chris smiled. “And always hopeful that one day we would reunite.” Chris reached for her hand and Allison gave it to him. “I’ve never seen you wear color on your nails,” he said with a smile. “It looks pretty.”

  Allison laughed. “Bess made me do it. Actually, she wanted me to go with neon green, but I said absolutely not.”

  They walked side by side, hands clasped, back to the party. It is indeed a wonderful world, Allison thought. Bess could not have chosen a more appropriate song for this day.

  Chapter 109

  The sun had finally set after a glorious display of color. Stars were visible in the velvety blue-black sky. The gentle swoosh of the water lapping at the shore could be heard from the house. The air smelled cool and sweet. Each person had changed out of his or her fancy clothes and was wearing comfortable clothing like sweatpants and hoodies, T-shirts and jeans, and in Bess’s case, a lightweight flannel nightgown imprinted with a pattern of neon daisies. When Chris, who had removed his suit jacket, asked where in the world she had found such a thing, Bess had shrugged and replied, “Online, of course. All I did was type in ‘daisies’ and ‘neon’ and voilà!”

  “As long as she doesn’t buy a pair of matching pajamas for me,” Nathan said with an exaggerated shudder. “Those things burn my retinas
.”

  “So, I see you have a new friend,” Mike commented, nodding at the large gray cat that sat curled up against Allison’s left side. Chris, on Allison’s right, kept shooting anxious glances at the beast.

  Bess had been pleasantly surprised when Chris had stayed around after the other guests had gone off. Pleasantly surprised and hopeful. She was sure the others felt the same. And if no one came right out and asked what was going on between Allison and Chris, Bess decided, then she would. She was the bride. She could do what she wanted.

  “I ascertained he’s a stray,” Allison explained, “and that no one has advertised for him, so I asked what he thought about coming home with me and he agreed. And don’t ask how I know he agreed because I just do. His name is Gray, aka Little Gray Ghost, and he’s come into my life for a reason.”

  “He’s hardly, um, little,” Marta pointed out. “And he’s obviously young. He could still be growing.”

  “I know.” Allison laid a hand on the cat’s back and a loud purr erupted into the room. “Isn’t he gorgeous?”

  “Hey, where’s your bandage?” Mike suddenly asked Chuck.

  Chuck put a hand to his forehead.

  “It probably fell off when you were dancing wildly with Bess’s mother,” Dean noted. “But no worries. The wound looks clean and the stitches seem to be undisturbed.”

  “I thought I was the doctor in this relationship,” Chuck said with a smile.

  “Your friend Inez really seemed to enjoy herself,” Allison said to Bess. “One of the women from your reading group. I swear she consumed two bottles of champagne all on her own.”

  Bess laughed. “At least she’s not belligerent when she drinks.”

  “As far as I could tell,” Chuck noted, “no one misbehaved. No messy middle-aged ‘lady’ trying to seduce every male over the age of fifteen, no creepy old ‘gentleman’ putting his hands where he shouldn’t. There was one of those at our wedding, remember, Dean, some distant cousin of yours. I don’t even know how he got on the guest list.”

  Dean grimaced. “I’m afraid that was my aunt’s doing. Wally’s mother. Sorry.”

  “Well,” Allison said earnestly, “this wedding was an unqualified success. Tell us you think so, Bess.”

  “I do. I don’t have one complaint. There wasn’t even a pesky seagull to deal with! Okay, maybe the lobster might have been a little more tender and the—”

  Nathan raised his hand above his head. “Stop! Don’t ruin the perfection for us.”

  Bess smiled. “Sorry. It’s hard to keep my professional head from butting in.”

  “Now that the wedding is behind you,” Marta said, “you can give that professional head a much-deserved rest.”

  She might be willing to give her professional head a rest, Bess thought, but not her curious personal one. She was just about to open her mouth and ask Allison and Chris what exactly was going on between them and why they were suddenly holding hands when only two days ago they couldn’t even look directly at each other when Dean launched into a tale involving Ann’s nine-year-old daughter, Tildy, and her fascination with Thomas. That was all right, Bess thought. The night was young and before it was over she would have her answer.

  Chapter 110

  Marta rested her hand on her belly. It was as flat as it had been the day before, but now she imagined she could feel the tiny contours of the new life growing inside her. The notion made her smile. One day she would tell the child about this moment and if he or she was anywhere close to being a teen, Marta would be met with an eye roll and a comment on the order of “Mom, that’s so silly.” That was okay.

  Suddenly, Allison cleared her throat. “Chris and I have something to tell you all,” she said.

  Marta noticed that Allison’s hand clutched in Chris’s was white-knuckled. She felt a tingling run down her spine. She had been waiting not so patiently for one of the pair to speak and explain this newfound coziness.

  “Yes?” Bess prompted.

  “We’ve decided to give our marriage another try,” Allison announced. “There’s a long road ahead with a lot of challenges, but we each want this and we know we have your support.”

  There were shouts of “hurrah” and “woohoo!” and a chorus of congratulations. Gray, awakened by the noise, stepped onto Allison’s lap and settled himself again, eyes warily on Chris.

  “I knew it would work!” Bess cried.

  “Knew what would work?” Mike asked.

  “Never mind.” Bess smiled. “I’m so happy for you guys,” she told Chris and Allison. “I really am.”

  Marta gave her friends a smile. “Well done,” she said. “The both of you.”

  When the excitement had died down, Allison looked to Chris. “I’m going to put you on the spot,” she said. “Will you promise, in front of all our friends, to bake me a German chocolate cake for my birthday each year, like you used to?”

  “I’ll bake you one every day of the week if you’d like!” Chris said firmly. “It would be my pleasure.”

  Allison laughed and kissed her husband’s cheek. “There’s no need for that.”

  “And I’m going to have to get into this guy’s good graces,” Chris added, nodding at the feline on Allison’s lap.

  Marta noted that Bess’s expression could only be described as smug. Clearly, she thought that bringing Allison and Chris together at her wedding had worked some magic, and Marta would like to think that her pep talk had helped bring Chris and Allison together, but in reality, they had done—and would continue to do—the real work of reconciliation. What Marta and the others could do now was lend what support Chris and Allison required—and to respect their need for privacy.

  She glanced at Mike. He nodded. Now was the perfect time to share their own secret with those still not in the know.

  Chapter 111

  In one hand Allison held Chris’s; the other rested on Gray. Sitting there surrounded by her dearest friends, she felt grounded in a way she hadn’t felt in a very long time. Well, maybe never. This was a new life she was creating, a different one, with a fresh perspective on what it meant to be her own person before she was anyone else’s.

  “Mike and I have our own surprise to share with you,” Marta announced.

  A thought flickered across Allison’s brain. How could she not have guessed?

  “We’re all ears,” Bess said. “What an odd expression!”

  Marta looked to Mike and took his hand. “I’m pregnant,” she said. “And yes, it was a surprise, but sometimes surprises are what you really wanted after all.”

  Marta’s oddly negative comments about motherhood. Her veiled complaints about the lack of a career. Her general testiness. Poor Marta, Allison thought. She must have been struggling with this new fact of her life. “Congratulations,” she said. “You’re right. Sometimes surprises really are gifts in disguise.”

  “Four kids!” Bess exclaimed. “Wow!”

  “She’ll be great,” Mike said enthusiastically. “She’s the best mom ever!”

  Dean and Nathan offered their best wishes.

  “And we haven’t told our families yet, so mum’s the word. Pardon the pun.” Marta cringed. “I’m not sure how the kids will take the news.”

  “They’ll deal with it,” Chuck pronounced. “Kids are resilient and they’re often better equipped to handle life’s disruptions than adults are.”

  “This explains why you were so on edge these past two weeks,” Bess said, nodding like a sage.

  “Was I really horrible?” Marta asked.

  “Not entirely,” Allison teased. “Just here and there.”

  “And that’s why you weren’t eating oysters!” Bess cried. “No raw seafood!”

  Marta laughed. “Yeah, and it’s been killing me! Chuck guessed my secret.”

  Chuck shrugged again. “I have a gift for knowing these things. It comes from having three sisters and about a thousand female cousins.”

  “I have something to say and I think I speak for Ma
rta as well.” Mike smiled. “In fact, I know that I do! Allison and Chris, we’d like you to be the godparents of this new baby.”

  “Good idea, Mike,” Marta said, giving him a kiss on his cheek.

  Allison tensed. How would Chris respond to this offer? It was well intentioned, but it might also cause a degree of pain. It would compel Chris to become closely involved with a child.

  “I don’t know what to say,” Chris admitted after a moment, his voice thick. “Thank you. The world is already full of children to love and to nurture. I realize that now.”

  Allison felt a surge of relief. “Remember what I said the other day, about wanting to get to know your children better,” she said to Marta. “This honor will certainly help. Thank you.”

  “Any ideas about names?” Dean asked.

  “Yes,” Marta said at the same time that Mike was saying, “No.”

  “It won’t be anything crazy, will it?” Dean asked. “Like Suburb or Cantaloupe?”

  The others shouted with laughter.

  “I can assure you,” Marta said, “that no child of ours will be burdened with an outlandish moniker.”

  Allison looked to Chris; he smiled at her. It was a bittersweet moment for them both, but what really mattered was that they would soon be welcoming a new life. Together.

  Chapter 112

  Bess thought she would burst with happiness. Another odd expression. And kind of a gross idea, too!

  Still, this day could not have been any better than it was turning out to be, not in her wildest dreams. The ceremony had been lovely, the reception a big success, her dear family had thoroughly enjoyed themselves, and now . . . Allison and Chris reunited, Mike and Marta having another child!

  Bess cleared her throat dramatically. “Nathan and I have an announcement to make, too, though our news isn’t half as exciting as everyone else’s.” She looked to Nathan and he smiled. “Nathan got a promotion and we’re moving to Stockholm for two years.”