Espresso in the Morning

by Dorie Graham

  “Come on, Claire, please just let me know you’re okay,” he called.

  Silence. That on its own was enough to scare him. If she were home and functioning, the house would be vibrating with her music and television. He couldn’t contemplate what state she’d be in if she were alone in that silence.

  He moved to the window and peered in, but he saw no trace of her. He checked each window, circling the house and calling out to her at intervals. He was going to feel like an idiot if she’d left town or was out shopping, but the churning in his gut propelled him.

  What good had running for his own self-preservation done? If she’d come to any harm he’d be just as devastated. He never should have left her.

  The wind and rain had driven a pile of branches and leaves against the sliding glass doors at the back of the house. He kicked the debris aside and then looked through the glass. Claire lay on her side, curled into a ball against the wall on the far side of the room.

  Lucas knocked on the glass and called to her again, but she didn’t move. He pulled on the door, but it was locked. With adrenaline pumping through him he scanned the yard for a rock as he raced to the toolshed.

  A moment later he emerged with a rag and a hammer. He ran to a side window and smashed the glass without hesitation. He quickly used the rag to clean out the broken glass, and then undid the latch. He scrambled inside and rushed to where Claire lay unmoving.

  His hands shook as he rolled her toward him and took her into his arms. “I’m here, sweetheart. Talk to me,” he said.

  She was warm and breathing, though apparently in the midst of a flashback. Her body was locked up tight, her breathing fast. He could kill whoever had done this to her.

  “You’re safe,” he said. “Listen to my voice. Follow it back to me.” He ran his hand across her hair as tears pricked his eyes. How long had she been like this?

  “I’m going to take care of you and I’m never going to leave you again, Claire. Do you hear me? I need you. Grey needs you. Whatever happened to you is over. You survived. You’re safe and I’m going to keep you that way.”

  His throat burned and tears spilled down his cheeks. “I’m sorry I went away,” he said. “If you can’t do traditional therapy, then we’ll find another way.” He glanced at the book on the floor next to her. “We’ll do whatever this book says for self-guided healing. I’m in. Whatever you need from me, sweetheart, you’ve got it. I promise, Claire. Please, please come back to me.”

  He glanced around the room, his mind racing through the checklist of techniques he’d learned for dealing with PTSD. He needed to ground her in the present somehow. “Hold on. I’ll be right back.”

  Gently, he set her down, and then rummaged on the coffee table for the remote. He finally found it between the sofa cushions. He focused on his own breathing to calm himself as he pressed the buttons to turn on the television and stereo. Then he dug through the side table drawer until he found matches. It took several tries because his fingers were shaking so badly, but he lit the vanilla-scented candle on the table and brought it closer to Claire.

  He scooped her into his arms again, cradling and rocking her. “Okay, the History Channel is doing a program on gadgets that changed the world,” he said as he sat back. “And I have no idea what this band is, but it has lots of squealing electric guitar and screaming the way you like it. So, I need you to listen to what’s here and now. To the TV and the stereo and my voice. Oh, and I lit that candle you like, the vanilla one. Can you smell it?”

  Continuing to rock her, he stroked her arm. “Can you feel me, Claire? I’m holding you and stroking your arm,” he said and touched her cheek and the lines of her face seemed to ease slightly.

  A buzzing sounded from nearby. He scanned the coffee table again and her phone vibrated beneath a stack of papers. He stretched to reach it. “Grey’s calling you,” he said, checking the display. “I didn’t know he had a phone. Oh, it looks like you have several missed calls from him. I’ll call him for you in a minute, okay? But first, open your eyes and let me know you hear me and that you’re here with me.”

  He stroked her cheek and the tension had definitely left her features. She opened her eyes and he’d never seen a more beautiful sight. His throat swelled with relief and he let the tears fall as he hugged her close.

  “That’s my girl. Welcome back, sweetheart,” he said.

  She touched his cheek, frowning. “Lucas?”

  “I’m sorry. I broke your window. Ramsey said he saw you and I was worried,” he said.

  She glanced around. “I don’t...”

  “It’s okay. You had another episode.”

  She hugged herself and shook with grief. He held her close and let her cry. She was going to be okay. He wouldn’t let her be anything else.

  “I thought...I’d lost you,” she said when she could catch her breath. “You and Grey.”

  “No, you haven’t lost us.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “For what? You haven’t done anything wrong. I’m the one who’s sorry. I don’t know if you heard any of my mindless rambling, but I’m here with you and I’m never going to leave you again.”

  “I’m...sorry...I’m not...stronger,” she said.

  He wiped the tears from her cheek. “You’re as strong as you need to be and you’re not in this alone. I’m going to help you however you want. No therapists,” he said and nodded toward the book. “I see you’ve been working on self-help and I’m all for that. I’m going to read that and anything else you want me to and we’re going to memorize every technique. I think I’m getting better at this grounding-you-in-the-moment thing, huh?”

  She nodded, smiled and cried all at the same time and he hugged her close again. “Just don’t ever scare me like that again, okay?”

  More tears soaked the front of his shirt. “I’ll...try.”

  “One more thing,” he said and she pulled back to look at him. “And I have to say this whether you agree to let me stick around or not, because I should have said this before. I love you, Claire. Please love me back and let me be with you and Grey. I love him, too, like he was my own.”

  She wrapped her arms around his neck. “You have to...stop making me cry.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said, his heart thudding. “So, is that a yes or a no? She loves me, she loves me not?”

  This time her smile reached her eyes. “She loves you.”

  He took her mouth with one swift movement, capturing her lips and sealing the promise in her eyes with a kiss.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

  GREY COULDN’T CONTAIN his excitement as he stuffed his spaceman pajamas into his suitcase. He grabbed his History Channel game from the shelf and crammed it in, as well. Gram frowned at him from the doorway of the guestroom where he’d been staying.

  “You’re mixing your clean clothes with your dirty ones,” she said.

  Grey made a swiping motion with his hand. “I’ll sort it out when I get home. I have to hurry. She’s on the way.”

  “Don’t forget your toothbrush,” she said.

  He straightened. “I thought I could leave it here. I have another one at home and I’ll be back during the week, right? You promised me you’d teach me how to do a roast. We haven’t done any beef recipes yet.”

  Smiling, Gram unfolded her arms. “Of course, and we haven’t started on pies yet, either. We haven’t nearly scratched the surface on your super chef lessons.”

  His anticipation bubbled up. “Can we do banana cream pie and pumpkin pie and apple pie and—”

  “Yes, yes. Make me a list. Oh, wait, did you get your recipes and shopping list for your Very Special Meal?” she asked.

  He dug in the front pocket of his book bag. “I have it all here. See?” He pointed to the writing at the top of the page. “Very Special Meal.”

  “You call me if you get into any trouble with that,” she said. “Remember to stir the Alfredo sauce so it doesn’t clump.”

  “I got it,” he said, t
hen paused as they heard the front door open and close. “She’s here.”

  Shouldering his book bag, he zipped up his suitcase, and yanked it off the bed. He dragged the suitcase as fast as he could through the hallway. “Mom!” he called.

  “I’m here, honey,” Mom said from the living room.

  Lucas stood beside her. Happiness burst through Grey. He dropped his bags and threw himself at his mom. She caught him and lifted him up, holding him close.

  “I missed you so much, li—Grey,” she said, laughing.

  He pushed back to look at her. “It’s okay if you want to call me little man. I was just angry that day. It doesn’t bother me so much.”

  She planted a kiss on his cheek, and then put him down. “What has Gram been feeding you? You weigh a ton.”

  “You’ll see. I’m going to make you a Very Special Meal, all by myself and you can’t peek, because it’s a surprise.”

  She glanced at Lucas, then back at Grey. “I guess I’m going to have to trust you on this.”

  “Don’t worry,” he said. “We can totally take it to go, though honestly it makes for a better sit-down meal. Or we can blast your music if you want to try to have dinner at home, but I can’t make it until we go to the grocery store and get everything first.”

  “Why don’t we play that by ear? I’ll think about trying another proper dinner. I owe Lucas one. He really helped me out the other day,” she said.

  “He did? What did he do?”

  She glanced again at Lucas and then stooped to meet Grey’s gaze. “I had an episode, like the one I had with you in the car, only this one was even worse.”

  The ache in Grey’s stomach returned. “Worse than in the car?”

  She nodded and took his hand. “Why don’t you come out on the porch with me for a little bit, while Lucas loads your things in the car? I want to talk to you about what happened to me and why I acted that way. Would that be okay?”

  “Yes, of course. You can talk to me about anything. Does this mean you’re going to get better?” he asked, glancing from his mom to Lucas.

  Lucas smiled. “It means we’re working together to fix it, but we may need your help, too.”

  A bit of hope began to sneak back into Grey’s mood. He grabbed his mom’s hand. “Yes, I want to help. Come tell me everything.”

  Claire glanced at Gram. “Would you like to join us, Mother?”

  “I don’t think you need me,” she said. “It looks like you’ve got all the help you need.”

  Mom frowned, but let Grey pull her out to the porch. He scooted two of Gram’s rockers closer together. “Here you go.”

  She took her time and explained a lot to him, all about what was wrong with her and how a bad man had hurt her, but she was working on a self-recovery program and also going to therapy. Bottom line was she was doing everything she could to get better.

  “All of the loud music and running from place to place, I realize these are ways I’ve been avoiding coping with these issues I have. I know it makes you crazy.” She laughed a kind of sad laugh. “I guess it makes me a little crazy, too. So, I’m going to try to wean myself off all the craziness and find healthy ways to cope.”

  Lucas had come back partway through her story, and now grinned. “I’ll be happy to stick around and help in anyway I can.” He leaned over and kissed Mom on the lips this time.

  A giggle burst out of Grey. “I guess you two are officially back together.”

  Mom nodded. “I’m not letting him get away this time.”

  Another giggle escaped. Grey plopped himself in Lucas’s lap. “I’ll help with that one, too. I’ll sit on him and not let him escape.”

  * * *

  SUNDAY MORNING, a few weeks later, dawned sunny, but cold. Claire woke before her television-radio duo alarm sounded. She rolled over to the warm man in the bed beside her.

  His beautiful smile greeted her. “Good morning.”

  “Good morning,” she said and managed to not pull away, in spite of her morning breath, when he kissed her quite thoroughly.

  She wriggled against him, loving the feel of him flush against her as he held her close and rested his hand on her bare bottom. “I slept.”

  “I see that. You’re all rested and sparkly this morning.”

  “Sparkly?” she asked.

  “Yes.” He gestured with his free hand. “In your eyes.”

  “I see.” She ran her finger down his chest. “I like sleeping with you.”

  “I like sleeping with you, too.” He kissed her nose. “I’d love to make it a permanent arrangement.”

  “Soon,” she said.

  “Promise?”

  “Yes.”

  “Say it again,” he said. “I like to hear it, even if it’s kind of a future yes and you’re not actually saying yes to the question.”

  “Yes,” she said again and giggled. “But you still have to officially ask the question when it’s time.”

  “You let me know when you’re ready and I’ll sweep you off your feet with the asking part.”

  “I’m going to hold you to that,” she said, smiling, because she couldn’t seem to stop doing that this morning.

  Her cell phone vibrated on the nightstand. She grabbed it and laughed. “It’s Grey. He wants to know if Operation Best Breakfast Ever is a go.”

  Lucas’s green eyes turned serious on her. “Sweetheart, that’s completely your call. We do have Plan B. We can make this party mobile if you need to.”

  “Listen,” she said.

  Lucas paused with his head cocked. “What am I listening for? I don’t hear anything.”

  “Exactly.”

  He glanced at the TV and stereo. “They didn’t go off.”

  “I’m setting them later and later to see if I can go longer with—” she gestured “—the quiet.”

  “Good job.”

  “I’ve made Grey wait to make us the Best Breakfast Ever, because I wanted to be sure.” They’d enjoyed a Very Special Meal prepared by Grey shortly after they’d brought him home from her mother’s.

  She texted Grey. Op BBE a go. J

  “Coffee,” she said.

  His grin broadened. “I’m on it.”

  The beats of Evanescence drifted to them from the kitchen as they rolled out of bed. Lucas pulled on his jeans and nodded.

  “Your son likes to cook to music,” he said.

  She listened for a minute. “I can totally live with that.”

  Ten minutes and several stolen kisses later, they strolled into the kitchen. Grey was whipping something in a bowl. He bobbed his head to the music.

  “Good morning,” he said.

  “Good morning, little man,” Claire said and hugged him.

  Lucas rubbed his hands together. “How are we on the espresso? Do you need any last-minute tips or reminders?”

  “It’s under control,” Grey said. “Mom gets the first cup. It’s all set for you, Mom. Just flip the top switch.”

  Claire smiled as she moved to the area on the counter where they’d set up the espresso machine. A small mug sat beneath the nozzles and the indicator light shone. She flipped the switch. The machine hummed and Grey cheered.

  He turned to her. “I have everything ready for Plan B. We can activate it at any time.”

  Claire’s gaze swept from Grey to Lucas, then back. How fortunate was she to have such amazing love and support in her life? “That’s really great,” she said and stopped to turn off the machine and retrieve her coffee. “But I’d like us to have the Best Breakfast Ever right here at home.”

  “All right,” Grey said. “You two have a seat and I’ll have it up in no time.”

  “Don’t you want some help, buddy?” Lucas asked.

  Grey eyed him with trepidation. “Can you handle the toast?”

  Lucas pressed his hand to his chest. “Yes, I can handle the toast.”

  “Okay, you can do that,” Grey said.

  “Me, too,” Claire said. “I need a job.”

>   Grey waved with his spatula. “There’s a cantaloupe and some blueberries in the refrigerator.”

  “I’m on it,” she said.

  “Gram says presentation is everything.”

  She laughed. “Okay, I’ll make it pretty.”

  Fifteen minutes and a cup or two of espresso later Claire sat at the table with her two favorite guys. Grey insisted on serving everything on pretty plates with the food arranged just so.

  “Nice presentation,” she said as he set her plate before her.

  “Thanks, Grey,” Lucas said. “This looks incredible.”

  Grey nodded as he took his seat. “I wanted to make it really good, so Mom would want to do this again.”

  She smiled and said, “I think we should maybe make this a regular thing.”

  “Yes!” Grey pumped his fist.

  “I’m in,” Lucas said. “But if we do this during the week can we bump it a little earlier? I have some classes starting next week.”

  “What classes?” Claire asked.

  “Medical recertification,” Lucas said as he ate a bite of his scrambled eggs.

  “Aren’t you going to keep The Coffee Stop?” Grey asked, his eyes wide.

  Lucas shrugged. “Ramsey and Ken can run the place blindfolded. I’ll still be around, but they don’t really need me.” He glanced at Claire and said, “I just thought I might look into doing the EMT thing again.”

  “Lucas, that’s great,” Claire said.

  The TV and radio down the hall came on. A news broadcast and Ashes of Soma fought for airwaves with the sultry tones of Norah Jones emanating from the music center Grey had set up in the kitchen. Lucas and Grey continued eating as though nothing had changed.

  “Excuse me a minute,” Claire said as she pushed back her chair.

  Lucas gave her a questioning look.

  “I’ll be right back,” she said.

  She padded down the hall to her bedroom. She switched off both the radio and the television set. She padded back to the kitchen, her guys, Norah’s crooning and the Best Breakfast Ever. It was a small step, but she was satisfied that, for her, everything had changed.

  * * * * *

  Keep reading for an excerpt from The Road to Bayou Bridge by Liz Talley!