And the last time he’d seen me, I’d been only seven years old. A scared little kid with knobby knees and unbrushed hair. Dad was still alive then, but too deep into the bottle and his flashbacks to care. Dean had been fifteen, and more interested in his own friends than a needy little sister.
Joe had been my whole world back then. And ever since, I’d never been able to completely shake that feeling. He’d watched out for me, the way my dad never had. Joe had wiped my nose and bandaged my scraped elbows. He’d read me stories and told me jokes until I’d rolled with laughter. He’d been the one bright spot in a lonely childhood, and I’d grown up loving him. How the hell could I not?
Will you marry me someday, when I get big? You’ll keep me safe, won’t you, Joe? Promise me…?
I still cringed whenever I remembered begging him to promise me… and seeing the pity in his eyes. But that was a damned long time ago. So long, he might not remember. Or recognize the woman I was now.
I looked back into Doris’s careworn face. She was searching mine gently. “Is Joe your boyfriend, honey? Is he a good man?”
“He is a good man,” I answered softly. “The only man I ever looked up to in my whole life… The best man I ever knew…”
“You two gonna get married?”
“We’re kind of engaged,” I said with a wistful smile, thinking back. I shook my head slowly. “But I don’t think so… We’re from two different worlds.
And by now, he’s forgotten all about me…”
2
Joe
Imperious. That’s the word for it.
Bess was the grande dame of the Decker empire and all that was left, except for my brother Ryan and me. She’d outlived her three children, including our father. And by the tone of her voice, she wasn’t going to be kept waiting any longer…
“Joseph!” Her voice cut through the warm air. “Tea, now. And don’t go running off. I want a word.”
I took the tea tray from Maria and headed out to the patio. The housekeeper shot me a look of gratitude and turned for the kitchen. It was her job, not mine, but I could hardly blame her.
“Grandmother,” I said cheerfully, setting the tray down in front of her. “You’re looking well this morning. Picture of health.”
“Hhmmph,” she replied testily, as she poured and handed me a steaming cup. “Damnably hot for spring,” she muttered, her voice surprisingly strong coming from such a tiny old woman. White-haired and wrinkled, her eyes were as bright and clear as they’d been in her youth. They were Decker blue, brilliant and flecked with violet. She was still a startlingly attractive woman, even in her eighties.
“You’re heading in later than usual.” It wasn’t a question.
“I am,” I replied. “The managing editor took the morning meetings. I had some details to tie up late last night on the Fairfax shootings.”
She shifted and blew into her cup. “Well, just don’t make a habit of it. I didn’t make you executive editor just for show, just because you were the eldest… the next in line after my poor Davis.” Her eyes always misted over when she thought of my dad. He’d died only two short years ago. The wounds were still fresh.
I patted her hand comfortingly as she sat up straighter. “I’ll make him proud, Grandma Bess. You, too. TexStar has already added a dozen new dailies and another channel. We’re bigger and better than ever.” I stood, and put down my china cup. “And I need to get moving… now, what with the weight of the family empire on my shoulders…”
She chuckled, pleased. “We’ll see,” she said. “It’s not as if you’re the only Decker heir. There’s always your brother…,” she threatened.
She knew goddamn well I’d keep my promise. I’d always kept my promises, even though taking control of TexStar Newsmedia had pretty much been the end of my career as a photojournalist. I’d given up the camera for a big corner office and the backbreaking burden of leadership. And I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling that something was missing… Maybe a sense of purpose… maybe the passion I’d felt when I was looking through the camera lens. But I was damned good. Even better than my father. And Bess knew it.
I dropped a kiss on her dry forehead and turned to leave.
“Joseph?”
I turned back to see her twisting her hands. Hesitation wasn’t like her. I stood, intrigued… waiting…
“Be at the… bus station at two.” She looked like the words tasted sour on her lips. “One of those charity children is coming back for a brief stay in the cottage. I’ve given her my permission.”
“One of…” Maggie. Oh, my God… Maggie… For a moment, I forgot my grandmother’s disdainful tone. I forgot everything around me. I could still see Maggie’s pale coppery-blonde curls and the tears in her big brown eyes. That poor little kid, with her dirty toes and her broken heart...
“Maggie’s back?” Little Mags…
“Was that her name…? It’s the girl, I know that much.” Bess patted her skirts. “I received a message that her car didn’t make the entire trip back from Kansas. She was picked up by one of those… passenger buses, and will be arriving this…”
I interrupted, making her blink. “I’ll collect her,” I said firmly, forcing down my own irritation. “I know you never cared for any of their family, Bess. But Dad made them a promise.” It was my turn to sound imperious. “The Decker family owes the Blake’s, and I’m going to make damned sure we honor it. Have Maria make a special dinner tonight. Little Maggie’s going to have a proper welcome home.”
I left Bess with her thin lips parted, speechless for once, and headed out to the garage. I selected a black sports car for the day… it was the least pretentious of the lot. It started with a soft growl and I was on the road minutes later. It would take the better part of half an hour to get from Southlake to Dallas-Fort Worth. I stepped on the gas, driving on autopilot, as the memories flooded back. It was the first time I ever remembered being grateful for the drive…
Fifteen years ago
“They’re not leaving the guest house, and that’s the end of it, Mother.”
My father’s voice was loud with anger, still louder from the scotch in his hand. I was passing by in the hall and paused at the door. It was unheard of, in this house, to oppose Grandma Bess.
“Blake is a known drunkard and those children…” Her voice was as loud as Dad’s, and shrill. “I won’t have their kind living a stone’s throw from my own family. If you won’t think of me, or your wife, think of your sons, Davis. I believe in kindness and charity for those in need. I’ll write them a check… a generous one.” She shuffled around in a desk drawer. “But I won’t have them in my own backyard anymore. Mixing with my grandsons… influencing them…
“I wasn’t asking your permission, Mother. And I’ll thank you to keep your outdated opinions to yourself.” I heard her gasp as he continued. I was glued to the doorframe, amazed… and impressed.
I listened to my father as he continued. “War brings out the best… and the worst… in men… And John had my back when it counted. The least I can do is give him a place to stay while he pulls himself together. They’ve only been here for two years.” I heard my grandmother huff. “You don’t know what it was like in the war,” my father went on, his voice suddenly sounding as distant as the past. “Nobody does…”
I heard a clatter in the hall behind me and moved away from the door. I hadn’t intended to eavesdrop, but I was glad to hear Dad standing up for himself. And for the Blake’s. He’d been doing less and less of that for years, as his health had started to fail.
Just outside the kitchen doors, I ran into Blake’s son, Dean. He was fifteen, one of my best friends, and already taking after his father.
“You want a beer? I scored a six-pack from the back of the fridge. Dad’ll never miss it. He’s got vodka.” Dean smiled slyly and motioned for me to follow him. The guesthouse was settled into the wooded area, just beyond the sloping grass hill behind our estate.
“Nah, I’m good.” I
slapped Dean’s back. “I got a shitload of chem homework. Gotta keep a clear head.”
Dean laughed and shook his head. “Yeah, the old lady’s already got your college tuition paid up. You fuckin’ better not disappoint her.” He paused as we reached the split rail fence that surrounded the little cottage. “I’d hate to have your life, Joey. All mapped out before you’re even officially eighteen. Where’s the fun in that?” He opened the front door and his little sister’s face poked out. She was seven and small for her age. She had big brown eyes that always seemed too large for her face.
Mags had followed me around since the day they’d arrived. She’d been five then, with no mother and a father who rarely remembered she was around. She was a quiet kid, but she had moments when she could be bossy, demanding even. Mostly she was sweet, and there was something about her that kinda’ broke my heart.
“There’s a party Friday night at Teresa’s,” Dean said. “You in?”
“Maybe… we’ll see.” I watched as he shrugged his shoulders and headed inside.
“Gonna be a good one. One of the last, before you’re on your way to Brown.” I heard the fridge door slam shut. “You better show up.”
“What’s Brown?” Maggie asked, letting the door click shut behind her. I’d been putting it off for as long as I could, but I knew I had to tell her. Probably better sooner than later.
“It’s a school I’m going to, after I graduate high school. It’s a big university and I’ll be living there soon.” I watched as her big eyes got bigger.
“You’re leaving me?” Her voice was faint and her lip had started to quiver. I sat her down beside me on a wooden bench and put my arm around her thin shoulders. Big, silent tears rolled down her cheeks, and I took out my handkerchief and made her blow her nose.
“I have to go to school, Maggie, just like you do. But I’ll be home for vacations.” I took her little hand and led her to the old wooden swing. I picked her up and helped her into it. “We’ll still see each other. And you’ll have so many friends, you’ll forget all about me.”
I watched as she stared up at me, her eyes red-rimmed, but as bright and serious as any adult’s. She set her lips, stubbornness wrinkling her forehead. “Push me,” she ordered. I gave the swing a little shove. “Higher,” she demanded. “Push me all the way up to the sky.”
She squeezed her eyes shut, letting the rushing air dry her cheeks. “I’ll never forget you,” she called out. “And someday I’ll be just as grown up as you.” Her little girl voice was suddenly bold. “Will you marry me when I’m big, Joe? You’ll keep me safe… won’t you?”
I let the swing slow to a stop and she climbed off, wrapping her skinny arms around my neck. “Then you won’t ever leave me… Promise me,” she said next to my ear. “Promise me you will…”
I wrapped my arms around her, sick at the thought of abandoning a little kid who had no one who really cared for her. What the hell was going to become of her? What kind of future did she really have?
“Sure,” I said as kindly as I could. What could it hurt to tell her a little white lie?
“You’ll always be my best girl, Mags. Of course, I will.”
3
Joe
Ryan had taken over in the office so I could leave early. But traffic had been awful, and there’d been an accident that slowed the freeway to a dead crawl. Now it was two-thirty and the bus terminal was nearly empty. The last goddamned thing I’d wanted was to let her down…
I scanned the room, looking for a skinny girl with big brown eyes. There was only a man with a brown paper sack, asleep under a trash bag, and a woman with two small children standing at the ticket counter. A slim, leggy blonde stood near the windows, the sun flashing strawberry highlights in tresses that just touched the curve of her ass. Cut-off shorts and a white tee showed off tanned legs and perfect breasts. But it was the boots that almost made me forget why I was there. The girl was sexy as hell… and didn’t even seem to know it. I dragged my eyes away to look at my watch. Maggie’s bus had arrived and left almost half an hour ago. Where the hell was she?
I sat down on a smooth wooden bench just as my phone started to vibrate. “Dean?”
“Hey, Joey. I’m sorry, I didn’t make it out of class in time. Is Maggie with you? Can I talk to her?”
“She’s not here. The bus was on schedule, but I got here late. She must have taken a cab…”
“Hang on, I’ll get back to you.” The phone went dead in my hand. I slipped it back in my pocket and sighed. Dean had gotten a slower start than the rest of us, but once he’d grown out of his partying days, he’d enrolled in the local community college. He was studying to be a nurse, and I was damned proud of him. At thirty, it seemed he was finally growing up, becoming more responsible. I knew he was looking forward to seeing Maggie, too. It had been years since we’d all been together.
I headed to the ticket counter as the woman led her children toward the restroom door. The man at the desk wore a logo t-shirt stretched over a middle-aged belly and a name tag with Tiny printed in white letters. “Did a Maggie Blake come in on the last bus?”
“Don’t give out names,” Tiny answered. “If you don’t see her, she probably ain’t here.”
I ran a hand through my hair and turned around. No one had come out of the restrooms. And new passengers were beginning to trickle in for the next bus. I shot a glance at the girl in shorts and watched her pull her phone out of her worn leather bag. She was half-turned away… I wanted to see her face, but settled for the view of long, lovely legs. She tossed a thick mass of hair over one shoulder and I heard her laugh. The sound of it was under my skin in a second… throaty and deep. The kind of voice a man imagines waking up to in the morning… or in the night… It was sexy and vibrant, just like the girl herself. For the first time in years, my fingers itched to be holding a camera. The light through the clerestory windows struck her hair just so, bringing out a coppery hue in the blonde strands. She crossed one leg over the other and I felt a surge of heat. I hadn’t felt this kind of animal attraction in years… or maybe ever. She was exquisite.
“I’ve been here waiting,” I heard her say. I inched closer and watched her weave a strand of hair between her fingers. “No, I don’t think so… I’ve just been sitting here…”
She stood and turned to look around the room. For a moment, the sun was in my eyes. Then I shifted, hooding them with one hand. I heard her breath catch.
“He’s here… No… I’ll meet you at the cottage… Yes, I’m fine. Me, too… see you later…”
I stepped away from the shaft of blinding light and saw her. Really saw her… Only a few feet away, face to face for the first time. Her eyes were too big, too brown, just the way I remembered them…
“Joe…?”
I struggled for a second, trying to fit my memories to the beautiful girl standing in front of me. Christ… the desire she’d stirred in me… and all the while it had been little Mags…
“Maggie?” I swallowed hard and pushed back a whole host of conflicting emotions. “My God… look at you…”
She smiled, and for a moment she was that little girl I’d left behind. Then she threw her arms around my neck, stretching up on tiptoe to pull me close, and she was all woman. Grown and luscious, her breasts pushing into my chest as she dug her fingertips into the back of my suit jacket… My arms moved on their own, wrapping around her little waist, grazing the swell of her hip…
“Mags… I didn’t even see you… Didn’t recognize you,” I corrected, putting my hands firmly on her waist and pushing her gently away from me. “You’re… taller… than I remember.”
“And you’re just the same,” she smiled up at me. “A little broader, maybe. Same serious expression… Oh, Joe. It’s been so long.” I held her gaze, as a riot of warring impulses shot through me. I watched as her lips parted softly.
“I’ll get your bags.” I bent down, collecting her suitcases. She reached down to pick up a backpack and I caught a gli
mpse of round, creamy…
“The car’s this way.” I turned away fast and headed for the double doors. I could hear the click of her boots on the tile behind me, and groaned inwardly. How the fuck was I going to handle those legs in the tiny sports car… so damned close… and with my hormones pushing common sense out the window? This was all so fucking wrong.
I held the car door as she climbed inside, closing it as she tucked those goddamned boots underneath her. I slammed it shut, harder than necessary, and went to work stuffing her bags into the tiny trunk. For all my thirty-three years, I was acting more like that dumb-ass kid I used to be. So was my traitorous dick. Hell, Maggie wasn’t my sister, but she was my best friend’s.
This was all so fucking wrong…
4
Maggie
Four years ago
I was leaving for college first thing in the morning. All packed up and driving my first car all the way to Kansas. I’d had butterflies for days, in spite of Ryan’s reassurance. He was twenty-five, older than me, and had already graduated.
“The jeep’ll be fine, Maggie. I looked it over myself. So did Joe. You know damned well neither one of us would let you go if it wasn’t safe.”
“I know,” I smiled back, bumping my shoulder into his. Ryan was eight years younger than his brother, all light in contrast to Joe’s darkness, but they both had the same blue eyes. Warm and kind. I’d always been able to tell Ryan anything.
“He feels responsible for you, you know. Hell, Joe feels responsible for the whole damned world…” Ryan put his arm around my shoulders and I rested my head comfortably against him.
“Have you told him yet? He’s up at the house tonight, you know. And you may not a get a better chance before you leave.”
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