A Christmas Kiss

by Anna Samuels

  Assembled in the lounge, the family sat down together on the sofa in front of a film so they had something to do while I drew them. I sat by the television with a canvas in front of me, my pencil flying over the page quickly.

  I arranged the four of them quickly and sketched the main shapes in the picture. I then moved to working on the children, knowing that they would be less likely to stay in place than the adults.

  ‘Is it finished yet?’ Zachary whined, after only ten minutes.

  I laughed. ‘Nowhere near!’

  ‘Zac, art work takes time! You can’t rush Auntie Ally otherwise we’ll all look silly in the picture! You wouldn’t want that, would you?’ Laurie asked.

  ‘No,’ he replied looking downwards, ‘but how long do I have to sit in this seat?’

  ‘Ants in your pants?’ Daniel grinned.

  ‘No! But it’s so boring!’ he complained.

  ‘Then watch the film!’ Daniel told him.

  ‘I don’t want to watch this again,’ he moaned.

  ‘Look, stay still two more minutes, Zachy then you can go…’ I told him.

  ‘Okay!’ he said brightening.

  I quickly worked on Zachary’s face but in all honesty, could have done it from memory. I had an almost photographic memory when it came to faces and his was etched in my mind after spending a weekend in his company.

  The children wandered off to play after a while so I kept going with Laurie and Daniel in front of me. They chatted to me as I drew.

  ‘So, Ally…what’s happening about tomorrow?’ Laurie asked, referring to the fact that it would be Monday and I was due back at work.

  ‘I’ll head off early tomorrow morning if you don’t mind me staying one more night?’

  ‘Of course we don’t mind!’ Laurie told me, ‘but where will you stay during the week? Sarah doesn’t want you at hers does she?’

  ‘No,’ I said, shaking my head. ‘I’ve booked a Travelodge until Friday…that’ll do for this week.’

  ‘Oh, Ally…I wish you didn’t have to go back at all!’

  ‘I know, but at least it’s only a week…not even that! Five days and it will be the half term holiday. Is it still okay if I come back here?’ I asked.

  ‘Yes! You’re booked in for the kid’s midweek remember?’

  ‘Oh yeah! Great!’ I smiled.

  ‘What happens after that though? You can’t spend the last seven weeks in a Travelodge! Don’t you know anyone who you could stay with?’ Laurie asked.

  ‘Not that I can think of, no. I’ll talk to Mary at work when I get back. She might have a good idea.’

  ‘Who’s Mary?’

  ‘She’s an older teacher. She’s lovely, very nurturing and kind. She looks after me at work when things are rough.’

  ‘Oh that’s nice!’ Laurie exclaimed. ‘I’m glad you have someone like that there.’

  I nodded.

  ‘It’ll fly by, Ally,’ Laurie said, as if reading my thoughts.

  ‘I hope so…okay…you’re all sketched. Now I’ll go and paint.’

  ‘Can I see it?’ Laurie asked.

  ‘Nope! Not until it’s finished!’

  ‘Oh, spoil sport! I’ll go and make some cakes with the kids so they leave you alone to paint. I want to see that finished article!’

  I grinned and lifted the canvas to my chest to conceal it. ‘All in good time,’ I told her.

  ‘Yeah, yeah,’ she smiled.

  I headed up the stairs two at a time and then set up the easel, canvas and paints I had bought. I began working and became so engrossed in my task that I didn’t notice time slipping away. By the time it was finished, the light was just beginning to fade. It was almost 4pm I realised as I looked at the clock!

  I lifted the finished painting and headed down the stairs. The family were in the living room and all looked up when I came in.

  ‘Is it done, Ally?’ Zachary piped up.

  ‘It is! You want to see it?’ I asked.

  ‘Yeah!’ he said excitedly.

  ‘Ready?’ I asked Laurie, who was smiling with anticipation.

  ‘Yes please!’ she replied.

  I turned the paining around and the room fell silent. I watched as Laurie’s face lit with awe, Daniel grinned widely and the children stared with open mouths. I looked down at the painting myself. It was damn good, if I did say so myself. I had captured them all well and their expressions depicted happy, content family life.

  ‘Thank you,’ Laurie whispered and then stood to kiss my cheek. ‘It’s absolutely wonderful.’

  I smiled. ‘I’m glad you like it.’

  ‘I love it. I’m going to get Daniel to hang it right this second. On that wall behind the television Dan…please? Then I can sit here and stare at it.’

  ‘Sounds like a plan!’ Daniel said, getting to his feet.

  I smiled, feeling contented. As I watched Laurie and the children ooh and ah over the painting, I felt better than I had in a long while.

  Chapter 5

  Back to the city

  Sadly, that feeling didn’t last very long. At 5am the following morning, I woke and dressed to leave for London. Misery filled my gut at the thought of returning to the place where everything had gone wrong for me. Anxiety clenched in my stomach as I thought about work and all the current problems I was facing. Be that as it may, by 5.15am, I had left the house and started driving.

  I drove in the dark, along narrow roads. Soon the roads became wider and busier as I neared the motorway. Once on the motorway, I drove faster, heading towards a destination I no longer wanted to be at.

  As I drove, my mind wandered. I thought of the wonderful weekend I had shared with Laurie and her family. It had woken me up from the stupor I had been in. It had made me realise how much I was missing in my life. The break-up with Sarah may have led me back home but it was Laurie and her family that had made me yearn for more change.

  I pondered what to do when I reached the school. So much of what I did was taken up with my job. My life was dictated by it. It was a profession which I had been pushed into by parents who wanted me to succeed. Unfortunately, it wasn’t right for me though. It made me miserable and I wanted to find more fulfilment in my life.

  Two hours after I had left, I pulled up at the school. It was 7.20am and only two cars sat in the car park. One I recognised as the head teacher’s car.

  I grabbed my bag and headed in. After signing in, I made my way to my classroom and began setting up for the day. When I was done, I sat down at my computer and opened a Word document. Within five minutes, I had written my resignation.

  I printed it out and put it in an envelope. After writing the head’s name on the front, I picked up a folder, placed it inside and headed down to her office.

  I knocked on the door, while my heart thumped noisily in my chest.

  ‘Come in!’ she called.

  I opened the door and stepped inside.

  ‘Ally! What can I do for you?’ she asked frowning.

  I didn’t go to the head unless something was wrong usually. For me to be at her door was a rare occurrence.

  ‘Have you got a few minutes?’ I asked.

  ‘Yes. Take a seat,’ she replied curtly.

  ‘Thank you.’

  ‘So, what’s this about?’

  ‘I’d like to know what your plans are with my contract,’ I told her.

  ‘Your contract?’

  ‘Are you renewing it at Easter or will the year be finished then?’

  ‘Well, I couldn’t say with any certainty right now…’ she said evasively.

  ‘My circumstances have changed now, and I need to know where I stand. If the job is finishing, I would rather know now.’

  ‘Well, the thing is, Ally…your time here with us hasn’t been easy. I don’t think at this stage I would be renewing the contract.’

  I nodded. ‘That’s what I thought.’

  ‘Okay…so…?’

  ‘So, I’m handing in my notice,’ I told her, reach
ing into my folder and retrieving the envelope. ‘I’ll be leaving at Christmas.’

  ‘But your contract runs until Easter.’

  ‘It does, but I have the right to resign before 31st October don’t I? To leave at Christmas?’ I asked frowning.

  ‘Well yes…but…’

  ‘So I’ll be leaving then,’ I told her assuredly. ‘Thank you for your time,’ I said standing.

  I turned and left the office feeling more positive than I had in a long time. Absolute clarity in my head told me I was doing the right thing. This was the right decision. When the children came in that morning, I welcomed them into the classroom with a smile.

  My day progressed quickly and despite my happier outlook, things weren’t destined to be easy for me. The head teacher was clearly annoyed with me as she made snide remarks on two occasions and came into my classroom to criticise the children’s behaviour in front of me. I felt belittled and upset but kept telling myself it wasn’t for much longer. I could bear the brunt of her small and hurtful comments, so long as I got to leave, as soon as possible.

  When the day was over, I made my way to the Travelodge I had booked myself into. After checking in, I took a shower, changed my clothes and then sat on the bed. I checked my phone and saw that Laurie had messaged me.

  ‘How was your day? Call me later x’ she wrote.

  I searched for her name in my list of contacts and called her.

  ‘Hey Ally! How was your day?’ she asked when she answered.

  ‘Hey! Well, I handed my notice in!’ I told her gleefully.

  ‘Oh you did! Good on you! That’s great news!’

  ‘I know it is! I’m chuffed to bits! Eight weeks of teaching and then I’ll be free!’ I exclaimed with joy.

  ‘Oh that’s great, Ally. How did the head take it?’

  ‘Oh…not great,’ I said biting my lip. ‘I think it’s going to be a hard few weeks before I leave.’

  ‘Really? How come?’

  ‘After I told her today, she was on my case big time. She was making nasty comments, criticising me in front of the children…it was horrible. I don’t think she’s happy with me leaving.’

  ‘Of course she’s not! But that’s not a professional way to act! If it gets any worse, contact your union.’

  I nodded, even though I was on the phone. ‘Good idea…well, hopefully it’ll die down after the holiday and she’ll kind of forget to bother with me.’

  ‘Hopefully,’ Laurie responded. ‘And how’s the Travelodge?’

  ‘Oh it’s okay. It’ll do for now.’

  ‘I wish you didn’t have to do this…’

  ‘I know…but its four more days then I get to be back with you for the week. Then I’m on a countdown to the Christmas holidays when I can finish there.’

  ‘I guess so. Will you be okay tonight?’

  ‘Yes thanks,’ I told her. ‘I’m going to refocus my head in the evenings by doing some art work. Painting the portrait made me remember how much I enjoy art.’

  ‘Well, you’re amazing at it! If only you could find some way to utilise that skill into something profitable.’

  ‘My thoughts exactly,’ I told her, as my mind had been whirring.

  ‘Well, I better say goodnight. I’m going to get the kids to bed.’

  ‘Okay. Night Laurie. Thanks for keeping checks on me.’

  ‘What are big sister’s for?’ she said and I could hear the smile on her face.

  ‘Night.’

  ‘Night Ally,’ she replied.

  After hanging up, I logged onto my laptop and surfed for a while. I checked emails and Facebook before searching for jobs and flats in Bournemouth. Nothing appealed so I set aside my computer feeling frustrated.

  I decided to forget my worries for a while and indulge in some artistic time. I opened my bag, which contained some additional purchases made at the art shop at the weekend. I had squirreled them away so that Zachary wouldn’t see them. I had something to make for him.

  It was a small wooden chest. No bigger than my hand. What I planned to do with it was adorn it with the shells and glass we had collected together on the beach at the weekend. After retrieving my wood glue from the bag, I set about making his treasure chest.

  I started with the glass, forming a Z on the chest lid. After that was complete I began a pattern of tiny shells around the rest of the wood.

  I lost myself in my task and became completely absorbed in my work. When I was done, I was buzzing so much that I made another, this one with a K for Katie. When that was finished, I finally gave in and went to bed. It was late and I was tired. I slept deeply and well, only to be woken by my alarm at 6am the following morning.

  The next few days passed in a blur of pretty constant misery. The head teacher seemed out to make me pay for handing in my notice. She told me I was to be put on incapability procedures as my teaching wasn’t up to scratch and that I would have objectives to meet to prove my worth. I could have cried, I could have argued back but deep down I knew I would never be returning to teaching so none of it mattered. While she probably thought I was moving on to other jobs teaching, she didn’t realise that none of her tactics to destroy me mattered or bothered me. I was past caring. I was formulating a plan and she was not going to rain on my parade.

  By the time Friday was finished and she had given me another dressing down in her office, I was more than ready to vacate the building.

  I had already packed my bags and loaded my car. I had paid the Travelodge so the moment I escaped the school, I was gone.

  With her voice already dismissed from my head, I began the drive south. She could tell me I wasn’t good enough all she liked, it didn’t matter anymore. My mind had moved past her and on to more exciting ideas and ventures.

  As I drove, I thought about the idea I had been working on all week. It had come to me in a dream. A dream which was wonderful and warm, whilst also inspirational and appealing. I had been dreaming about Hope Beach. It had started with an image of myself, walking along the sand hand in hand with another woman. When I had looked up to see who it was, Alex’s face smiled down at me. Immediately the dream became more interesting. She had walked with me along the sand and then up past the café and beyond. We reached the shop with the ‘for rent’ sign on it. She had pointed at it and smiled. I had looked up into her eyes and smiled back. When I woke, the dream rang clearly in my head. Possibility and excitement rushed through my veins as I wondered if I could do something completely different with my life…something that I could actually enjoy.

  I reached Laurie’s house at 6pm, having driven direct and focused all my energies on the place which I now considered home again.

  They welcomed me back with open arms. To my pleasure, the children were still awake too.

  ‘Hey!’ I grinned, as I ran up the driveway to the open door.

  ‘Ally!’ Zachary yelled.

  ‘Hey sweetie,’ I said and gave him a hug.

  ‘I miss you, Auntie Ally,’ Katie told me in her baby voice.

  ‘I missed you too!’ I said scooping her into my arms for a cuddle.

  ‘Come in!’ Laurie welcomed.

  I was ushered back into the warm house and into the loving home that I craved.

  ‘How was your drive?’ Laurie asked as we ended up in the kitchen.

  ‘It was okay thanks…I got past the motorway before the bulk of the traffic so I made it in good time.’

  ‘I know! I wasn’t expecting you for another hour or so! Here, I kept some tea for you as I figured you wouldn’t have eaten.’

  She placed a plate of warm homemade food in front of me and I felt my stomach growl in appreciation. ‘Oh how do you do it, Laurie? You’re amazing!’

  ‘I do my best!’ she grinned.

  I tucked in and realised how hungry I was. Yet again it had been a week when eating hadn’t figured highly on my agenda.

  Laurie and the children sat down at the table with me as I started to eat which was lovely in itself.

>   ‘Was your day okay?’ she asked.

  I shook my head, ‘Nah…but let’s not get into that right now! We could talk later?’

  ‘Definitely. Once the children are asleep.’

  I nodded and turned to Zachary and Katie. ‘And how has your week been?’

  ‘I got pony,’ Katie replied randomly.

  ‘You got a pony?’ I asked wide-eyed.

  She nodded and then grinned. ‘Wainbow.’

  I looked at Laurie quizzically.

  ‘Rainbow,’ she told me quietly.

  ‘Oh rainbow! Wainbow pony? I asked her.

  She nodded again, ‘You wanna see wainbow?’ she asked.

  I nodded enthusiastically. ‘I sure do! Will you get him for me?’ I asked.

  She frowned at me then and put her pudgy little hands on her hips indignantly. ‘It not a boy! Wainbow is a girl!’ she informed me seriously.

  ‘Oh of course she is! Silly Auntie Ally!’

  ‘I get her!’ she said and rushed off.

  ‘Are you okay, Zachy?’ I asked, through mouthfuls of chicken and mushroom pie, potatoes and vegetables.

  ‘Yeah…’ he nodded. ‘I got a certificate this week.’

  ‘You did? What was that for?’ I asked him interested.

  ‘For being good. We get house points when we do good stuff and when I fill my chart, I get a certificate in assembly. Mummy came to see me in assembly this morning.’

  ‘That’s great! Well done you!’ I smiled.

  He smiled. ‘Are you staying here now?’ he asked.

  ‘I’ve come for the holiday,’ I told him. ‘To spend some more time with if that’s alright?’

  He nodded slowly. ‘I said to Mummy that I missed you when you went away. It was fun last weekend with you here.’

  I smiled at him. ‘We can have lots more fun this week can’t we Zachy?’

  He nodded, smiling.

  ‘Hey! You know those shells and stones we collected at the beach last week?’ I began.

  ‘Yeah?’

  ‘I made you something,’ I told him.

  ‘For me?’ he asked, suddenly wide-eyed.

  ‘Yep…and I loved making it so much that then I made one for Katie as well!’