Blue Desire

by Sindra van Yssel

  He saw her eyes narrow on the edge of his vision. He suspected she wasn’t thinking about her song anymore, but he remained quiet in case. At some point she was going to ask the obvious question.

  “So what were you doing there, anyway?” She came to a stop, so he did too.

  “In the strip club?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, it’s a long story, but the short story is that I saw Cindy going one way, and you going the other, and I followed you. You and Cindy going opposite directions didn’t jive with what you’d said about business after the show.”

  “So you were spying on me.”

  It was at least partly true. “I walked into the club and saw you and Angus. I knew you and Angus had been lovers. I walked out.”

  “But you walked back in. You didn’t trust me, did you? I suppose I can’t blame you.”

  He shook his head. “I walked back in because I decided I did trust you. You said you were there on business, and that meant that you and Angus were trying to come to some agreement. I didn’t trust Angus at all. He fights dirty, for one thing, with rings on his hands. And he doesn’t exactly have the best reputation from what I’ve been able to discover on the Internet.”

  “I never look at that Internet stuff. People say all sorts of things.” Kat shrugged. “He tweets and all that, and I figured he’d probably done a pretty good job of painting me as the evil witch queen.”

  Brett shrugged. “Kradle fans are in two camps. My guess is that yours is larger, but I don’t imagine either know what really happened.”

  Kat nodded. “So you watched us.”

  “From the table next to you. I wasn’t trying to be stealthy, although I didn’t want Angus to see me. He was sitting facing the stage, so I sat at the table behind him. I was in your view almost the whole time if you’d looked. But it’s pretty dark back there.”

  “I don’t suppose most of the people watching the naked girls want to be seen.”

  Brett shrugged and grinned. “Curious because when I’m watching a naked girl, I want her to see me doing it, and I don’t give a damn who else knows either.” He put out his hand for hers. “If we keep walking, you can find out what I mean in another four blocks.”

  Kat raised an amused eyebrow, and Brett breathed a sigh of relief. He’d told her the simple truth, including the part about following her that was less than flattering, but that didn’t mean she’d believe it. As far as she knew, he was in there to watch the strippers, or he was a crazy fan who got jealous after two hot nights with her. She had only his word on the real reason he’d called Darren to let him know he wasn’t showing up and had turned back.

  “You don’t want to give me a few moments to settle in before taking my clothes off?” Kat asked, putting her hand in his.

  “No,” he said honestly. “I don’t. But I will if you need it. You can sleep on my couch for a while if you just need to save on rent. But if you want to be in my bed, you’re going follow my rules.”

  She shivered. “Yes, Master.” Then she turned toward the street and walked with him.

  He supposed she might feel more dominated if he put his hand on the upper curve of her ass while they walked or reached around her to cup the side of a breast. Right now, however, he was enjoying her cool, small hand nestled inside his meaty fist.

  They climbed the dark stairs, which were deserted as usual at that hour. When he got to the third-floor landing, he stopped. There was no one in the other apartment on the fourth floor at the moment. Not that Kat knew that.

  “Huh?” she asked.

  “Face me.”

  She turned toward him, her expression curious.

  “Hands over your head.”

  She blinked and looked around. Of course there was no one there. A door separated the stairwell from the hall that led to the third-floor apartments, and it had a small window one could see through. He could whisk her away if any of those doors opened, and they weren’t likely to at nearly three in the morning. She put her hands up and folded three fingers of her right hand over the fingers of her left. “Yes, Master.”

  He grabbed the bottom of the tank top and peeled it up and off her. She had to separate her hands to let him. “A hundred of your fans have been wanting to do this all night. But I get to.” The side of his hand brushed against where her nipple dented the pink bra. He was pleased to find her nipple so stiff. He moved his hand across it again, more intentionally.

  She took a sharp intake of breath. “Here?”

  “If I want. I don’t have to be patient when I don’t want to.”

  “Yes, Master.” She held her pose, sneaking a glance through the stairwell window. “Wherever you want. I won’t be sleeping on your couch.”

  Her breathing was heavy in his ear, but she quit glancing at the window. He had a good view through it. He wouldn’t let them get caught. He gently pinched her nipples through the lace of the bra until both peaks were hard. Her arousal was obvious, especially on such a warm night. He remembered her reluctance to have her breasts played with when he first met her, yet still she stood in that vulnerable pose, watching him.

  “Very lovely,” he said. He took her hand again and led her up the last flight of stairs. He could have stripped her bare, and no one would notice, but he’d either have to tell her there was no one in the other apartment upstairs or risk scaring her more than he wanted to. He’d pushed her far enough, for now.

  He’d be pushing a lot the next week. The thought made him smile. Together they’d find out what worked for them and what didn’t. And what worked, they could do again and again.

  KATRINA CLIMBED THE stairs. At three in the morning, wandering around with nothing on top but a bra was probably safe enough for a short distance, but it made her nervous. But somehow safe too because she was with Brett. The thing that scared her most wasn’t being shirtless; it was the realization she’d had right afterward: that if he’d wanted to take all her clothes off right there, she would have let him. And probably she would have let him do more. It felt wild, out of control, crazy. The only saving grace was that if it was out of her control, it was under his.

  She didn’t think she’d ever felt so wet. When he stroked her nipples, they ached. She’d always considered the sensation basically unpleasant, too much. But she’d stood there for it, not knowing when he’d stop, nor even sure she wanted him to. She didn’t mind aching for him. Especially if what he was doing gave him pleasure. Even more so, she realized, if he was enjoying the fact that she was aching.

  He opened the door for her. She stepped in. She stayed just inside while he entered behind her and closed the door. He tossed her top on the couch. She held her hands away from her body so that he could unhook her bra and slide it off her shoulders with no resistance. She lifted her foot as he knelt to take off her boots and then lifted the other foot. The boots weren’t too bad, comfortable enough for a night of moving around onstage with only a few regrets. The late-night walk had made her more sore, but the relief of having them off changed all that.

  He unzipped her jeans and peeled them down her legs. He could have taken off her thong at the same time, but he didn’t. She wondered if he was going to leave it on. He didn’t leave her wondering for long. One quick pull, and she was standing naked before him. He hadn’t taken off any clothes at all.

  “Master,” she said with feeling. Every fiber of her being desired him. She wanted to see him naked again, but she loved that it wasn’t up to her.

  “Slave,” he whispered.

  She’d always thought of slave as a hot word, but she’d never taken it seriously. Submissive, now that was a serious word. But “slave” captured how she felt at that moment and had felt ever since he took her top off on the landing. Her being naked before him emphasized that. It was scary, but it was what she wanted. She decided she was brave enough. “Yes.”

  “You have beautiful breasts,” he said, cupping them. He brushed his thumbs across the tender peaks, bringing the ache back instantly. />
  “They’re yours to play with, Master.” The words surprised her. She’d told half a dozen tops to get the fuck away from her nipples and touch her thighs or her ass or her pussy instead. “They’re very sensitive,” she told him.

  “I know,” he said.

  “When you do that, they ache.”

  He smiled. “Do you need me to stop?” He didn’t stop, though. Instead his fingers closed around each peak and squeezed. She supposed it was gentle. It stung and sent sparks straight from her breasts to her pussy.

  “No. I need you to know. Do you want them to ache?”

  “Yes.”

  She smiled. That made it okay. Which was crazy. “That’s a bit fucked up, you know.”

  “So?”

  “Good point.” She arched her back without even meaning to, offering her breasts to him.

  He smiled. “And what if I want more than an ache, my little kitty?”

  She took a deep breath. “Then you should do whatever you want. I don’t really like pain. Especially pain there. But if it’s because you want it, then I can handle it. Please do what you want to. I just need you to know. To be able to tell you.”

  He smiled and nudged her to the wall. His denim-covered leg pushed her knees apart, and then her thighs, until it rubbed her pussy. The wall was cool on her upper back. She rocked against his leg, telling herself that she was doing it for him because he wanted her to. She only believed that for a moment before she knew she was doing it just as much for herself, trying to get some friction against her clit.

  He squeezed harder, and her peaks felt like they were on fire. “Please,” she said.

  “Please what?”

  “Please keep doing what you want to do to me.” She knew it couldn’t always be that simple. Life was too complicated. But it was that simple right now.

  He pinched and pulled, rocking his leg against her as he did. Watching her. His gaze was almost as intense as his fingers, and she felt bare under it in ways that had nothing to do with having no clothes on. She was incredibly turned on, and he could see that, she was sure. She was the one who was a bit fucked up, and he could see that. He could probably see her soul. But she could see some of his too and could tell that he liked whatever it was he saw in her.

  She was going to come in a few more seconds. He was going to watch her. Not that he hadn’t seen it before, but she was even more aware of him watching this time. He was going to know that he could make her come with just pain and a leg to rub against. It was the sort of thing no one should know about her, but she couldn’t help herself. She ground desperately against his muscled thigh.

  He let go of her nipples and put his hands on her hips, stilling her. “Who decides when you get to come, do you think?”

  “Fuck.” I’m right there.

  “Hmm?”

  “I do?” She knew it wasn’t going to fly.

  He shook his head.

  She nodded. It felt wrong to be standing, somehow, so she bent her knees until her hands could touch the floor and then lowered herself to a kneeling position. “You do, Master.” Her pussy ached with need. But it was for him, so it was all okay. It was even good. Where had he been all her life?

  “Good girl.” He smiled and crouched down. She wanted to beg him, but he covered her lips with his mouth before she had a chance. He pushed his hand between her legs, found her clit with his thumb, and pushed two rough fingers inside her. His other hand slid through her hair. She almost wished she had long hair because she wondered if he’d pull it. She was his captive, and she loved it.

  “Now,” he told her. “Come now.”

  And she did. Whether it was the command or the way he brushed her clit with his thumb, she didn’t know. She bit her lip to avoid crying out and managed to hold it to a low moan instead. She shuddered against his hard body. Having him there was as good as being tied up because she couldn’t get away from her pleasure.

  He held her until she was done, and then picked her up. She relaxed into his arms. Being carried was awfully nice too. She was exhausted. She always was after a gig, although the adrenaline rush usually kept her going for a while. But every muscle in her body was done now, including her brain. The whole business with Angus was as exhausting as the music. Still, she thought she had enough energy for one thing or at least she hoped she did. After Brett rode to her rescue, she didn’t want the evening to be all about her pleasure. “How about you?” she asked.

  “We’ll take care of me in the morning. Sometimes, I promise you, it will be all about me.”

  “That’s good.” She smiled and closed her eyes. Morning sounded lovely. She’d spent all that time approaching BDSM from a selfish perspective, and now it felt good to think that she could give of herself. Brett had brought that out in her. Made her feel like a better person even.

  She felt him lower her to the cool sheets. She opened her eyes to watch him strip off his clothes, revealing muscle after muscle in the dim light. Then he turned off the last lamp and climbed in with her. He was warm, and she fit perfectly against him. She moved her hand down his chest, but before she could reach his cock, she fell asleep.

  * * * *

  The morning wasn’t all about Brett, however. It was something of a blur, partly because he let her sleep in. He had a healthy breakfast of bacon and eggs and cottage cheese for her when she finally woke up.

  “Should I put some clothes on first, Master?” Kat asked.

  “After.” He grinned. He was already dressed and looking snazzy in a dark gray three-piece suit, white shirt, and a yellow tie. “We’re on a tight schedule, but I want to at least be able to look at you. We’ve got an appointment with Vanessa Holly at ten. She was willing to squeeze us in.

  “Who is Vanessa Holly?”

  “She’s a switch from the club.” A soft smile played on his face.

  He wanted a threesome? That would take some thinking. Kat focused on her plate and the mound of cottage cheese. Maybe it would be all about him, after all. Even if she was going to do something like that, though, she’d prefer another submissive. She didn’t want any woman taking control of her, not even under his direction. At least she didn’t think she did.

  “But more importantly, she’s one of the best contract lawyers in the business.”

  She smiled. Of course. He’d said they were going to see a lawyer. And presumably one didn’t make appointments for threesomes. Well, maybe one did, but the person would have to be an entirely different kind of professional. Maybe there was a song in that too. Everything seemed to want to be set to music these days.

  She looked up at Brett and stared into his big brown eyes. He was the most lovely looking man. There was definitely a song there. There might even be a lifetime of songs, if they could make it work.

  She giggled. She wasn’t Paul McCartney, and whether she was doing punk or electronic or a fusion of both, she couldn’t get away with writing nothing but silly love songs. Tempting as it might be.

  “What are you laughing about?”

  “I think I love you,” she said.

  “That,” he told her, “is no laughing matter.” He leaned over and kissed her. “I think—I think I’ll tell you when I’m absolutely sure.”

  “I should have waited,” she said, instantly abashed. He was right, of course. It wasn’t the kind of thing one said on a whim, and she’d gone and blurted it out. “We’ll stick with what we know. I know I lust after you. And that I like being around you.”

  “It’s mutual, little kitty,” said Brett with a smile. “And I know we’re going to be late if you don’t grab a couple more mouthfuls and run and get dressed.”

  “I don’t exactly have go-to-a-lawyer clothes here, Master,” she said.

  He took a piece of bacon and held it to her mouth. “Good thing Vanessa is an open-minded person, isn’t it?”

  She snagged the bacon with her teeth and got up to get dressed. It felt surprisingly natural to be naked in front of him. She liked knowing his gaze was on her as
she walked to the bedroom. He followed her and stood in the doorway.

  She pulled her jeans on. She wasn’t sure where her panties had gotten to, but there was something sexy about going without them. She reached for her bra. “Have you slept with her?” She expected him to lie, so she didn’t turn around. She didn’t want to see the expression on his face and have to try to figure it out.

  “Yes. A year ago or so. It wasn’t a relationship, just a couple of adults having fun for a night and finding that they didn’t quite mesh.”

  Now she looked. Over her shoulder because she suddenly didn’t feel like flashing her breasts at him. “Why did you tell me?”

  “Because you asked. I’ll always give you a straight answer, Katrina.”

  She blinked. That was going to take some serious getting used to. She was surprised at how that honesty made her feel. She expected to be insanely jealous, but she wasn’t. Instead she felt at peace. He wouldn’t say that he loved her when he wasn’t sure. He wouldn’t even lie about who he slept with. She could trust him. She attached the hook in the back of the bra and turned around.

  He could have all the view he wanted. Her breasts looked better in a bra anyway. She bent over to get the tank top.

  When she straightened, she saw the grin she had wanted.

  “Let’s see how it goes for a week, please,” she said. “So far, you mesh with me very nicely.”

  “That sounds good. Now let’s get going, because if I do what I want to do right now, we’re going to be seriously late.”

  Kat nodded and pulled the tank top over her head. “Let’s go.”

  The rest of the morning was far too busy for sex, although it was never entirely absent from Kat’s mind. She remembered reading somewhere that men thought about sex all the time… What was it, at least once every thirty minutes? She never had thought about sex that much. But she was getting a taste of what it was like. She couldn’t wait to get Brett back in bed.

  Vanessa Holly turned out not to be the sexy young thing she had imagined, but an older woman whose brown hair was tinged with gray, who looked quite at home in a business suit. It was, in fact, very difficult to imagine her anywhere else. Vanessa looked over the documents Angus had given Kat but wanted more: anything relating to when the band was first put together, the contract with the record company, and so forth. Kat got her what she could, which wasn’t much, and they had to request a copy of the contract from the record company itself. Somewhere in there she and Brett grabbed fast food and managed to get her checked out of the hotel minutes before she had to pay for another day. There hadn’t even been quite time to get changed, and she was looking forward to getting out of her stage clothes.