Shadow of the Moon: A Fantasy of Love, Murder and Werewolves

by Kwen Griffeth

“No, I’m afraid not. New York.”

  “So, pretty much, you’re saying this girl has nothing of what my dream girl has?”

  “Yeah, I guess that pretty much sums her up.”

  Andee looked at him. They were so close, he was touching her hand, and yet, they were a world apart.

  He returned her intensity.

  “Well,” he said, “I’d have to think about it.”

  “Alwyn, I’m trying to tell you I like you, a lot. I want to...”

  He reached and took her hand in both his.

  “I know,” he said. “I’m trying to tell you I feel the same.”

  “Uncle Alwyn.”

  Still some twenty feet away and seeing they were close together, Anna announced her approach loudly. “I have your drinks.”

  A few minutes later, the couple each held a drink as they watched Anna walk away. They no longer held hands.

  “You killed Eduardo Ferreira, didn’t you?” Andee asked abruptly. “Your mother, along with forty-nine others, voted to kill him, and you pulled the trigger. You marched him out into the center of Central Park, put him on his knees and blew his brains out.”

  “Is that what you think?”

  She spun on the bench to face him and demanded, “Don’t play games. I’m asking you a direct question. You said by your code, or whatever the hell it is, you have to tell me the truth.”

  “I said no such statement. I said wolves don’t lie to wolves. I don’t believe you are a wolf. I also said, even if you were, that I can always choose whether to answer. I choose not to answer.”

  “That means you did it and just don’t want to tell me.”

  He turned away and looked across the garden. For several seconds, he watched a hummingbird go about its business. She stared at the side of his head.

  “Ever wonder what it would be like to be a hummingbird?” he asked.

  “What?”

  “A were-hummingbird. How much trouble could a little bird like that get into? Why not a were-hummingbird instead of werewolf?”

  She shook her head.

  “Don’t get cute with me. Don’t try to change the subject.”

  He turned back to her sharply.

  “You hear what you want to hear. That’s a failing of you humans. You put the phrase ‘shit happens’ on your t-shirts and think you’re clever. You’re not. What you’re talking about and refusing to acknowledge is life. Life happens. You asked me a question. I’m under no obligation to answer it, and I choose not to. You decide my non-answer is the answer you wanted in the first place.”

  She started to object. He shushed her with a pointed finger and continued.

  “I told Meeker he was in danger. He laughed at me. I told him he was in over his head. He couldn’t accept such a warning from a history professor. He thought I was funny. And two days later, his throat is gone. Ripped out by the very creature I warned him about. Oh well, shit happens. Everybody laugh.”

  He glared at her, his anger now a rolling boil.

  “I told you, you’re in danger. What did you do? Returned to the very place I warned you against. I sent my niece to get you, to protect you. You ignored me and ignored her. Now Miranda is fighting for her life. Oh well, shit happens. Now, you’re upset because I won’t admit that I’m who you think I am, who you want me to be.”

  “It’s not my fault Miranda got attacked.”

  He stood, took two steps away from her and then turned back.

  “It’s not a question of fault. Don’t you understand? It’s a question of consequences. Had you stayed here, when I told you not to leave, Miranda would not have been where she was to get attacked. Had you left with her when I sent her to get you, she would not have been attacked.”

  He again fed the koi fish, then turned back to her.

  “Eduardo Ferreira, was, like me, a Pauci. He was taught what is expected of us. He had an obligation to live better. He chose not to.”

  Alwyn made an exaggerated shrug as he continued, “Oh well, shit happens. He was warned. He ignored the warning. He was reprimanded, he laughed it off. He was found guilty by the Pactum by unanimous vote and was deemed to be Xli. Forfeited. More Latin. He forfeited his life. Whoever pulled the trigger is immaterial. The culling was done according to ritual and tradition, with honor toward the Xli. It’s a matter of consequence, and Ferreira faced his consequences knowing that.”

  Andee stood and took several paces away from the Alwyn and the bench. She turned and faced him.

  “How can you justify vigilantism?” she demanded? “How can you defend someone taking the law into their own hands?”

  Alwyn stood still, refusing to pursue her.

  “It is no different from a jury of twelve finding an accused guilty,” he argued. “The resulting punishment was not one man taking the law into his own hands; it was an execution carried out by one authorized to do so. No different from a man who works in the death house at one of the many penitentiaries across this country.”

  “No, Alwyn, the killing was contrary to the law of the land.”

  “The execution honored a law older than the Constitution, and it defended a society that will outlast the American experiment.”

  “How can you say that? You don’t know that.”

  “The Roman Empire fell because those who took from the system outnumbered those who contributed to the system. The same is occurring now. This country, this society, will follow in the footsteps of empires who went before. Only time will be the determining factor.”

  He stood and lifted his face into the breeze. Small gusts caught tufts of his hair and lifted them from his ears. It resembled the mane of a wild horse or a wolf. Her heartbeat quickened.

  She saw his nostrils flare as he breathed in the odors riding the wind. His chest expanded, and she saw the gaps between the buttons. He forced his shoulders back and his chest expanded even more. He closed his eyes, and she was relieved he could not see the look of desire on her face. The feeling embarrassed her, but she could not force it away.

  Then he howled. His song was long, filled with the strength of lives yet to be lived, and yet carrying an undertone of sorrow for those already lost. The sound vibrated in her chest, and she thought of wild wolves. She felt the shiver rush through her, and that excitement welled in her soul as well as her eyes. She couldn’t stop the lift of her own head into the breeze. She fought the urge to join him in song.

  She wondered if his howl was for Meeker, or Cat, maybe Rose. Even Eduardo. All the lives already lost and those yet to be lived. Which was theirs, yet to be lived or already lost? She wanted to join him. To participate in the foreplay. What silliness was that? She didn’t know how to howl. So she listened, and the tremor in his voice vibrated through her soul.

  Then it was over, and as the echoes rode the breeze, he looked at her. He looked at her with the same hunger she felt. He allowed his eyes to examine her from head to feet, and she stood proud of who she was and how she looked. She wanted him to recognize her worth. She returned his look, silently signaling, I’m yours if you want me. Want her he did, and she knew it. She braced to accept his rush.

  A rush that didn’t come.

  “Only time will determine the lifespan of what we call America,” he said. “But when it is gone, when it has been destroyed, or absorbed into another empire, the families, the clans, the packs will still remain. Unlike our full human cousins, our lives are centered on responsibility. I have thought about your temptress. I promised her an answer. I can’t go with her to California. I am the Unum.”

  Tears stung her eyes, and her throat was tight. She wanted to collapse onto the bench and sob. She refused to allow herself that relief. She stood and faced him. She faced this man who, knowing he held her heart in his hand, crushed it without a change of expression.

  “I need to leave,” she said. “I need to head back to the city. I have work I need to address. Please tell Miranda I stopped by. Tell her I’ll call in a day or two.”

  A scowl cros
sed his face, and his gaze intensified.

  “You can’t leave. I don’t want you to leave. If for no other reason, you are still in danger.”

  His words tore wounds in her heart. She gritted her teeth to keep from screaming and clenched her fists at her sides.

  “How can you say that?” she gasped, her voice a harsh whisper? “How can you say you don’t want me and in the next breath tell me not to leave?”

  He gently shook his head.

  “I never said I didn’t want you. I said I can’t have you.”

  Every beat of her heart rattled through her. She tried to make sense of her situation, and for a fleeting moment wondered if going insane might be a final relief to the constant barrage of this reality.

  “Alwyn, I don’t even know what that means. You have got to be one of the coldest, most manipulative men I’ve ever met.”

  He stepped to her and lifted her fists, gently massaging them into hands again. Holding her hands, he led her back to the bench. She hesitated, but his look brought surrender, and she followed.

  “I don’t know if this will clarify things or not. I am the Unum. The one. I told you that. I was selected prior to my birth, and I accepted the calling. I am not just an executioner if such matters need take place. I am an example to others of what a male wolf is to be. I am expected to take a mate who is a full wolf, just as I am.”

  She dropped her head to her chest. She didn’t want him to see her tears.

  “You say I am cold and manipulative. Maybe I am. In my state of mind and heart, I would not be the best to know. Only, I know this. I lie awake at night and wonder had I known you were to be in my future, would I have committed to my calling? Would have I chosen the Unum instead of you had I known you would be part of my life? A part of me is ashamed to admit I would not. I would have chosen you over my family, over my clan, over my entire species, if need be.”

  She raised her face to look into his eyes. Eyes full of regret. She was no longer ashamed of her tears. He released one of her hands and gently wiped her cheeks. He studied the wetness of his forefinger. He returned his gaze to her.

  “But such is not the case,” he sighed. “I didn’t know, and to wish I had been is a wasted and meaningless exercise. It’s as wasteful as to wish you were born a wolf. You are what you are, and I must be who I am expected to be.”

  “And where does that leave us, Alwyn and Andee?” she demanded.

  “In truth,” he said, “and I’m sworn to truth, I don’t know. I know a few days ago, we participated in an oath exchange. Maybe you were caught up in the moment. Maybe you didn’t really understand what was being sworn, but I did. I swore to protect you, with my life if needed, and I meant it. I meant it with the same level of honesty as the oaths I exchanged with my mother and Miranda. I intend to honor my oath to you. I intend to protect you. I may never know you as a lover, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”

  His quiet declaration hit as a slap might. She looked to see if honesty was on his face. It was there. He meant it. The man loved her, and he was as far out of her reach as if he was in another galaxy. She launched towards him, and he returned the embrace. She pulled back her head and looked at him again. His expression carried the same hunger she felt. She kissed him. She kissed him hard, hungry, wantonly. He returned the fever.

  She stopped. She allowed her lips to rest on his, but the kiss was over. She pulled her head back and looked at him. He met her gaze, but the hunger was gone. Sadness had replaced it. She knew they could never be, and his look told her he knew it too. She stood. She ran a hand through his hair. His thick, soft full head of salt and pepper hair. She smiled, for she knew if allowed, she could get lost in his hair, but that too would never happen. She stood in front of him and pulled his head to her stomach. She held it there.

  “I love you, Alwyn Lloyd,” she whispered.

  She turned and walked from the garden. She stumbled once when the tears blurred her vision, but she kept her head erect and her posture tall. Without a backward glance, she climbed into the government pool car, started it and drove from the Lloyd estate. She never saw the man, the wolf, the Unum, crying as she left.

  Chapter 13

  Miranda opened her eye. The other was still swollen and refused to cooperate. She blinked several times, and slowly the room, her room, came into focus. Her head ached. She had bruises and abrasions over several parts of her body, but she was alive. She allowed the good eye to close and took a deep breath. Her chest hurt, and she grimaced as the muscles and tendons of her ribcage argued with her about doing their jobs.

  “I’m told you have at least three broken ribs.”

  She opened her eye, allowed her head to roll to the side, and her uncle, her Unum, her friend, came into focus.

  She offered him a brave smile.

  He sat beside her bed where he had been there for several minutes. He’d seen the signs of the beating she’d been given. He now looked into the bloodshot eye, red with the broken blood vessels. Her hair was tied back so the blue and purple marks that ran from her cheeks back to her ears were in view. A laceration that crossed the bridge of her nose had scabbed. Her lips were puffy and split in several spots, but she braved a smile. He returned a sad one.

  “I’m sorry, Miranda,” he said, reaching to the center of the bed, where her hand rested on her stomach, on top of the blanket that covered her. He took her hand, gently cupping it in his own, and said again, “I’m so sorry.”

  Weakly, she shook her head.

  “Was not your fault, Uncle,” she whispered. “I argued with Andee when she wouldn’t come with me and stormed from the apartment. I was angry and not paying attention. You told me to be careful and to be on guard. I was neither.”

  Her eye filled, and she turned her face so he wouldn’t see her cry.

  Alwyn gently turned it back to him. He wiped her face with a damp cloth kept by the bed.

  “No,” he said, “you’re not allowed to punish yourself. But you must tell me what happened.”

  She nodded.

  “He grabbed me before I was aware he was there. I should have known. I should have smelled him. Even angry, I should have remained aware of my surroundings. Just before I dozed off this last time, I was thinking about that. How many times did you tell me, lecture me, stay aware of your surroundings? The time I needed it most, I failed.”

  The tears came again, and Alwyn, again, used the cloth to wipe them away.

  “Don’t say that,” he said, and when her eye questioned him, he added, “Don’t say the time you needed it most. You’ll need your abilities again. This isn’t over, Miranda. It is our nature to learn from what we did, both good and bad. Learn, niece, but don’t punish yourself. Use this time to not only heal your body, but your mind as well.”

  She nodded and again, tried the brave smile. She rolled onto her side facing her uncle.

  “Is Andee here?” she asked.

  “She was, but she left. She asked me to tell you she’ll call you in a day or so.”

  “Call me? Isn’t she going to visit again?”

  “I don’t know,” he shook his head. “I doubt it.”

  “What happened?”

  He sighed. “She wasn’t received well by some members of the family and...”

  “Uncle, did you tell her how you feel about her?”

  He smiled. “I told her everything.”

  “Good for you,” his niece said, rolling back to lay her head square on her pillow. “Don’t worry, she’ll be back. She loves you.”

  “I don’t think so. I told her we have no future.”

  Miranda’s good eye bore into him and showed the fire ignited inside her.

  “You didn’t,” she said. “Even you aren’t that hardheaded and, please forgive me, stupid enough to throw love away so carelessly.”

  “Miranda, you have known me all your life,” he defended. “You, more than anyone, know what is expected of me.”

  “I do,” she nodded. “And I know
no one takes their obligations more seriously than you. You eat the prescribed diet. You drink only water. You live like a monk, and you focus on little else than your profession and preparing to become the Unum, which you have now achieved.”

  “You have helped me all along the way,” he reminded her. “No Unum had a better Vox Secundo than you have been for me.”

  The woman leaned on her elbow to better see him with the eye that worked.

  “And a lot of good it did, Uncle. You rarely listen to the second voice I offer and never when it is truly important.”

  He smiled.

  “Then the fault is mine, as you have always been willing to state your mind.”

  “Uncle, love doesn’t come to us all, and you are lucky enough to have it come to you. It may be inconvenient, and it may be awkward, but it is love and should be respected. Love is as precious as life itself. To ignore one is to cheapen the other.”

  “You’re a romantic, and you are allowed to be,” he said, smiling. “I am the Unum, and what I feel for this woman is not inconvenient nor awkward. It is impossible. I am expected to mate with a full wolf. She’s not even half wolf; she’s human. I can’t do it. I won’t do it.”

  She looked at him and shook her head.

  “I’m too tired to argue with you, so let me only say, you are a fool.”

  She laid back and rested her head on her pillow. She took her hand from him and returned it to her stomach. She closed her good eye.

  “Do me a favor and pull the shades when you leave. I need my rest.”

  He nodded, leaned over to kiss her forehead, stood, pulled the shades and left.

  Two hours later, Alwyn looked up from the desk in his den to see his mother standing in the doorway. He smiled. She always looked so radiant, so together, so in command of all that surrounded her.

  “Hello, Mother.”

  “Son. Are you busy?”

  He spread his hands to indicate the papers on his desk.

  “Not so busy I can’t stop and take a break. I’m updating lesson plans for next semester. Do you need something?”

  Gennadiya crossed the room. He watched and as always was amazed at her gait. She always seemed to be on the hunt, and the clothes she wore rippled with her movements.