The corn had been planted in crops a few days apart so there would be a constant offering of it. Some of it we ate and some of it we let dry on the stocks to be used for feed for the livestock and grind into cornmeal. We would dig up the potatoes, carrots, and onions later in the season to store in the cellar.
Calvin would often bring us a rabbit or a portion of venison, which his brothers or father had hunted to add to our evening meal. He usually ate supper with us before returning home. Whenever he brought a rabbit, it would remind me of the first rabbit I had caught in my trap, and also, how the Lenape did not eat rabbit. If Wolf had been there, he would have been upset at us for eating rabbit. Only if Wolf was there, Calvin nor Rachel would have been staying at my homestead, I reasoned.
Martin came bearing gifts, as usual, of items he knew I could not grow or make on my own. Sugar and flour was a valued commodity along with salt, which father used to buy each year. Now Martin was providing those extra supplies. Although we would be slaughtering the pigs and would have tallow and oil to use in the lamps, Martin also brought extra candles, soap, and lamp oil.
Calvin was unloading the wagon of goods Martin had brought us one day, storing them away in the cellar, while Martin climbed down from the wagon and came up to me, holding out something in his hand.
“I brought you a special present,” he smiled as he stretched out his arm toward me.
“You have brought me too many things already,” I complained with a smile.
“This gift is for you personally,” he said softly, placing a small bottle in my hand. “It’s lavender water,” he informed me.
I took in my breath, breathing in the scent as I removed the stopper. Memories of my mother flooded into my senses at the smell. “Remember I love you,” pounded in my head.
“Thank you,” I said, trying to control my emotions.
“Is there something wrong?” Martin asked anxiously.
I shook my head.
“No. I guess I am just tired,” I mumbled.
“You work too hard! Even with Rachel and Calvin helping you, keeping this homestead up on your own is wearing you out.”
“It is not that,” I sighed. “The truth is I am expecting my second child and it seems to sap my strength.”
Martin stepped closer to me and grabbed my elbow.
“Did Wolf know of this before he left? Had he known you were expecting, he may not have left.”
“No. I didn’t even know at the time Wolf left.”
Martin looked closely at me.
“Do you have any idea of when he will return?”
“He didn’t say. It may take him time to find my two nieces since they went to other villages other than his own, where Jamie went.”
“Are you sure he is coming back at all?” he asked, looking deeply into my eyes.
I shivered. Martin seemed to know more than he was admitting about Wolf leaving, and that nagging suspicion that Martin had said something to Wolf which pushed him into leaving me, plagued me once more.
“Why wouldn’t he come back?” I asked.
“He didn’t seem happy about assimilating into a white man’s world. I could tell by his manner that he resented being here and away from his own people.”
“He just didn’t like being pushed into changing his customs. He was happy here with me. Only…well, he felt like he couldn’t live the way he was used to living, wearing his traditional dress, and following his own spiritual customs. In his village, they have sweat lodges where they purify themselves. They go on vision quests, that sometimes lasts for days. They don’t have to worry about caring for their wives and family on their own because they live with the wife’s mother and her family. The whole village is involved with growing the food and furnishing what is needed. The uncle takes on the responsibility of raising and instructing his niece’s children. It does not fall upon one person to do everything. I think Wolf was just overwhelmed, being the only one here to do everything it takes to run a homestead. It didn’t give him time to even build a sweat lodge or go on a vision quest or do many of the things he was used to, growing up in a Lenape village,” I admitted.
Martin shrugged.
“Don’t worry. I will be here to make sure you are provided for. You have done very well with the help of Calvin and Rachel being here.”
“Yes, they have been a big help. I so much appreciate it but they can’t remain here forever!”
“What will you do if Wolf does not return?” he asked.
The suspicions rose up in my throat again.
“I had never expected Wolf to follow me here in the first place. I had planned to live on my own. I can manage, even if I have to hire someone permanently to work the homestead. Only you frighten me, suggesting that Wolf may not return.”
Martin shrugged.
“I just worry about you, is all,” he mumbled. “Don’t forget, I am your friend,” he smiled, giving my arm a squeeze.
“You are a very caring friend and do much more than I deserve.”
“No, you deserve more than I have given you so far.”
“Do you ever worry that you will get sent back to England?” I asked, thinking if he left, I would miss him.
“I’ve requested to remain here. The homeland will always need troops to be assigned here. There are roomers of unrest among the American citizens. We have to make sure we keep the rebellious ones under control.”
“Why are they unhappy?” I wanted to know.
“The seven-year war against France was costly. The crown wants to make up that loss. They have demanded more taxes. They are passing what is known as the Stamp Act, imposing a tax on legal documents, newspapers, even playing cards. This is the first direct tax on the American colonists and is hotly resisted. A successful American campaign is underway to have the act repealed. Britain is not happy about it and is pushing back.”
“I know nothing of politics,” I admitted. “I just wish things could remain as they are. People are always wanting to start wars in order to have their way. The French wanted to take over British territory, the English want to take over Indian territory, and the Americans want to have their own way too. When will the unrest ever end?”
“It is natural for nations to want to become stronger by acquiring more land and power. The cycle will never end. I don’t think wars will ever end either. They will just be fought over something different every time. However, we need to nip this American rebellion in the bud before it turns into a full-blown war!”
“Right now I have enough to worry about,” I shrugged. I hope there will not be any more wars in my lifetime,” I sighed.
“Do not hesitate to ask me for help whenever you need it,” Martin offered. “You know I consider you as my most dearest friend.”
“Thank you for caring.”
I truly meant it since without Martin I wasn’t sure what I would have done to survive.
“Thank you for the Lavender water,” I added. “It is the scent my mother always wore.”
“Think nothing of it. I enjoy bringing you gifts.”
Martin took my hand and kissed it, looking deeply into my eyes as he did so.
“I will look forward to the next time I come to visit,” he said.
“Yes,” I murmured.
It had become a regular custom for Martin to come on Saturday night to have supper, remain the night and then escort us to church since I did not have a horse to pull our buggy. I looked forward to the weekend where the four of us could eat and visit and sing together before going into town the next morning to attend church.
I watched from the sidelines as Rachel and Calvin’s relationship grew stronger. It was not a surprise to me when Rachel announced that Calvin had proposed to her, and Martin had approved of the union. They would be getting married in the church just before the last harvest.
“Does this mean you will be leaving my house?” I asked, a little concerned that I would be faced with an empty house once the couple was married and Calvin r
eturned to his parent’s home.
“That is what I wished to speak to you about,” Rachel mumbled, taking in her breath and swallowing hard. “Your house is large and accommodating. You have no one here to help with the chores. You are expecting a new addition to your family, and when Wolf returns, he will be bringing Calvin’s cousins with him. They will be staying with his father and brothers, which will make their house crowded if we moved there as well. Would Wolf care if we stayed here with you, and continued to help you with your homestead? That is until Calvin can build a home for the two of us?”
I knew Wolf was not coming back, and having Rachel and Calvin there would eliminate the need of trying to hire someone on to help. Even if Wolf did come back, it would give him time to do other things he wished to do beyond caring for the homestead. I knew the thought was wishful thinking because I wanted Wolf to return to me so badly.
“I am sure that will work out well enough,” I smiled. “You and Calvin can use Ben’s old room and that still leaves me an extra room to use as a nursery for the children.”
“Oh, thank you,” Rachel gushed, as she hugged me around the neck. “Calvin has become quite fond of you and enjoys working on your homestead. I am sure we will all be a happy family together!”
“Yes,” I said, only I knew part of my new family would always be missing unless Wolf returned.
I offered to make Rachel a wedding dress but she informed me that she had plenty of money to purchase one. Her parent’s fortune had been left to her when they died and she had been given an allowance, only she would not be able to claim her entire inheritance until she turned twenty-one. However, if she got married before that, it would have to be given to her so she could pay a dowry. Once she was married, her husband would inherit her money. Rachel explained they would use most of the money to build their house with.
I was happy for Rachel and sad for myself. I missed Wolf’s arms around me at night. In spite of all my apprehensions and the way our relationship got off to a bad start when I was with him in his village, I knew I needed Wolf in my life.
Rachel was ecstatic while planning for her future. She hummed as she spun the wool or knitted. She went with Calvin to his family’s land to choose a place to build their house. After Supper, before Calvin left at night, she and Calvin poured over sketches of his building plans for their new house. I thought about when my father had built our house. I had been very young, but even then, I knew a lot of work went into designing and constructing a home.
I did not suffer from morning sickness with my second child. I barely felt like I was carrying, until the baby first moved and the butterfly sensation that fluttered across my belly confirmed that there was life within me. A new little life that was connected to Wolf once again. Now I did not have dark thoughts about doing away with the baby when it was born. I was blissfully looking forward to bringing that new life into the world.
Martin seemed concerned, yet a little apprehensive about the birth. I often noticed him looking at me, almost nostalgically as though he realized that this child would bond me even closer to Wolf, regardless of whether he returned to me or not. He was always attentive, though, and almost hovered over me, when he visited, as though he was the father of my expected child.
I was too busy preparing for winter to take much time to think about anything but my day to day activities and the future birth of my baby. In a few weeks, Rachel and Calvin would get married, and then Calvin would remain at my homestead with Rachel. It comforted me to know that someone would be there when it came time to suffer through another birth.
Even though I had vowed never to suffer through that pain again, at least I knew what to expect and what to do. It would be in the midst of winter, like before, and would make it difficult to call for a midwife to assist me. Even though Calvin’s family lived closest to us, there were no women there to help either, except for their slave cook, and I doubted delivering babies came with the training of a cook. It made me long even more for Wolf to be by my side when the time came.
The last of the harvest was underway, and Rachel’s wedding was planned to take place on the next weekend. I watched as her eyes sparkled, and both Calvin and Rachel looked lovingly at each other each time they came in contact, both impatient for the day to arrive. Martin seemed happy about the fact that Rachel had found a husband so the responsibility of her welfare would leave his hands and be passed on to her husband. He offered to remain the night before the wedding so he could take us all into town the next morning. Calvin and his family would meet us at the church.
Calvin stayed late, the night before the ceremony. We were all happy, sharing a meal together and then gathering to sing around the pianoforte. Martin and I took turns playing and singing together, which lifted my spirits. We were all happily anticipating the wedding, leaving the worries of harvest and winter preparation behind for the day.
After Calvin left, and Rachel went up to her room, Martin and I remained to talk in the parlor before retiring ourselves.
“I want you to know that if Wolf does not return, I will always be here for you, Candice,” he murmured, as he took my hand. “I know you love Wolf, only I don’t think anyone can count on heathen Indians. You saw how quickly the Lenape changed their allegiance from the French to the English the moment they realized we were winning the war. They are loyal to no one but themselves! How can you be sure Wolf will stay loyal to you?”
His words made me tremble because I knew it was true. Wolf could not remain loyal to me. He wanted to return to his people, rather than remain with me. I hadn’t even become his true wife. I was just his woman and he had no commitment to me. I wanted to tell Martin the truth but my pride would not allow it. Besides, I did not want to encourage Martin since I knew he felt more for me than was proper, considering he believed me to be married to Wolf.
“He has to return,” is all I said. “He left his people and broke custom because he claimed to love me.”
“Only he didn’t really leave to bring back your cousins, did he? He would have needed ransom money before they would release any captives to him, and I know neither you or he had any money.”
“It doesn’t matter. They are his people. He wouldn’t need a ransom to request their release,” I insisted, wanting to prolong my own fantasies about the situation.
“Time will tell,” is all Martin mumbled.
The next morning, we rose early to get dressed. I helped Rachel with her new expensive wedding gown. Martin went out to hitch his horse back to his buggy. As we came to the front porch, Martin helped Rachel up in the buggy, and then handed Ben to her while he prepared to help me up as well.
“By the way,” Martin smiled at me. “I totally forgot to tell you that I got you a horse. It is waiting at the stables in town, so I will tie him to the back of the buggy before we head out to celebrate at the Hanford’s home after the ceremony. Then we can bring him back here when we return.”
“You what?” I asked, not believing my ears.
“You are going to have a new child and you need transportation. It is the least I could do, seeing as how we took all your livestock when we believed you and your family were killed.”
“Thank you, Martin. I greatfully appreciate all your help.”
I reached my arms to his neck and leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek in thanks, only as I did so, instead, Martin placed his lips upon mine and pulled me into an embrace. I was shocked but didn’t have enough time to react. It was then I heard the deep voice of Wolf. I thought I was imagining it because I felt so guilty for putting myself in a position to allow Martin to kiss me.
“I see you were right,” his voice reverberated in my ears. “Once I was no longer around, Candice would turn to your arms.”
I pulled away from Martin’s embrace in shock, turning to face the voice behind us.
Wolf was sitting on his horse, but what was even more surprising was that Jamie, Beth, and Nellie, dressed in Indian clothes were sitting on ponies beside him.
My eyes widened, and a smile stretched over my mouth, but when my eyes caught his, I could see the anger steaming in them. He had witnessed the kiss, and I didn’t know how to explain being in Martin’s embrace.
“Wolf,” I breathed. “You returned!”
“I see you didn’t expect me to return,” he said flatly. “Not only have you gone to Martin, but I see you have already started a new family with him!”
His eyes fell on my protruding stomach, and I knew he thought the worse.
“You said you were going back to your people! You said you were going to make peace with them and…”
“And request the release of your family, only you did not give me the opportunity to explain it to you and accused me of wanting to take another for my wife. You did not trust me! I was angry at the time. I decided not to tell you my plan. I wanted to surprise you when I returned. I see I have surprised you!”
“It is not what you think,” I said, starting to step forward.
“Are you saying that my eyes are lying to me? Are you saying you were not kissing the man who informed me if I was not here you would happily become his wife? He suspected we had not truly wed and I admitted it to him when he questioned me about it. He said it would be better if I went back to my people and let you live your life without the hardship of having a heathen for a husband. He assured me you would be well cared for, that I could not care for you the way you needed someone to care for you. He said I would only bring heartache to your life because I was not one of your people. I did not believe him, but then you began trying to get me to wear your brother’s clothes and conform to Martin’s wishes. I felt he had talked to you too, telling you how you should not be my wife. I decided to test his words. I would return to my village and bring your family back to you to show you my loyalty, but I needed you to show your loyalty as well. Now you have shown me Martin was right. You could not wait to fall into his arms and let his seed create a child within you!”
Across The River Page 18
