Wild Wastes Omnibus

by Randi Darren

  From giving an audience to ambassadors the day before, to this today.

  My life is so weird.

  Turning his hand over she poked him in the middle of his palm. It left a tingling feeling when she did it.

  “Magic that has nothing to do with blood is all in the study and application through your conduit,” said the Gnome. At the start, her large eyes were odd to him, now they were merely curious.

  Those big purple orbs were squinting at his hand.

  “Your magic capacity is… large. It’s bigger than any I’ve seen.”

  Vince snorted at that.

  Uh huh. I’m sure you tell that to all the guys.

  Her fingers carefully turned his hand over again and then began to trail up along his forearm. She paused for a moment at his elbow, her fingers pressing into his skin.

  Feeling slightly awkward about the whole thing, Vince stared at the back of her blonde head.

  At least they were out in the field behind his home. Away from prying eyes.

  Well. Other than Thera, Eva, Elysia, and Red.

  They rarely seemed to leave his side if they didn’t have to.

  Meliae, Petra, and Fes were with the children of course. Motherhood had claimed their lives completely. Not that he faulted them for it. He imagined the bond between them was healthy and strong.

  “Sorry,” Leila said.

  “Huh? For what?”

  “This.” Leaning her head down, Leila bit into the inside joint of his elbow.

  Vince instinctively wrapped his arm around the short woman’s head and pulled her into his chest. At the same time his other hand slipped up under her chin and curled around her throat.

  Gritting his teeth, he was about to finish it when she released him.

  “P-put me down already, fool. I need to watch the flow. Unless you have a thing for Gnomes and were l-looking for an opportunity?” Leila hissed at him, kicking her legs back and forth.

  He dropped her down to the ground and she immediately pulled his arm out straight. Blood welled up from a tiny bite mark in the skin of his arm.

  Leila didn’t exactly have tusks after all.

  Holding tight to his arm with one hand, she drew her index finger down through the blood. Moving her bloodstained finger further, she stopped when she reached his wrist.

  Then she pressed her thumb to that spot. An itchy tingling shot up through his arm immediately.

  “It’s huge. I don’t think I could handle all of that without bursting.”

  Feeling a touch of anger still, and maybe a little vindictive, Vince didn’t hold back this time.

  “Bite me again, and I’ll show you something huge that you definitely couldn’t handle without bursting.”

  Wide purple eyes focused on him, her small mouth opening once and then closing.

  After two seconds of what he could only guess was her thinking, her face turned a deep dark red.

  “Yeah. Exactly. Tell me next time,” Vince growled under his breath.

  Leila nodded her head, her large eyes swirling with sparkling light.

  “S-sorry. It helps me focus if I have some of your blood,” Leila whispered. She turned her head back to his arm. Trailing a finger up along his bicep she paused at the hem of his shirt.

  “Take it off. I need to see your chest,” Leila said, releasing his arm. She took a step back and stared up at him in challenge.

  If it was something magical in nature, she seemingly stood her ground.

  “Oh, I get a show after all,” Elysia murmured from her seat. She looked up from her ledger and stared intently at Vince.

  “Hah hah,” Vince returned. With a sigh he reached down and pulled his tunic up over his head.

  “Take it all off, master,” Eva catcalled from her perch in a nearby tree.

  “Ok, stop it,” Vince said as he dropped his tunic to the ground.

  “Whatever do you mean, lord? Also, do you think you could get your pants off too?” Thera asked, looking up from her sketchpad. “I want to get the size right.”

  Unable to control himself, Vince felt his cheeks turn red at the attention.

  Leila looked around as the Elves talked and then looked back at him. “You’re bedding all three?”

  “Unfortunately, only my sisters. I’m next,” Elysia clarified. “Though he also has five other wives.”

  “Err, eight women?” Leila asked, stepping in close to him. “Get down here, oaf.”

  “So far. I imagine he’ll collect a few more. That or Fes will,” Thera clarified, her pencil skritching over the paper.

  Vince got down on his knees in front of the Gnome.

  Leila walked right up to him and laid her hands on his chest, right above the spot where he continued to cut himself open for Dryads to insert trees.

  He was eye level with her now. She was actually rather pretty, even if her eyes made her face a touch alien.

  “Your conduit should be a necklace. It’ll rest right above this point,” Leila said, pressing her fingers into his chest. “Your power starts here and terminates here.”

  “Unsurprising. It’s where the Dryads put their trees,” Vince said comprehendingly.

  “Oh? Oh. Yes, that’d make sense. It also means that most of your spells will need to be channeled from here, to your hands. Much of magic is about directing your power. The study I mentioned earlier is on learning the appropriate incantation, and personal position,” Leila explained.

  “Incantation? I’m kinda lousy at languages,” Vince said, hedging his optimism already.

  “Incantations are personal. Everyone has different spells and abilities they can use and call on. I… I’m a warlock so I tend to stray towards the darker side of things. Soul magic, curses, vexes,” Leila said.

  “Ah, I see. So, what am I then? And can you get the curse off of Red?” Vince inquired.

  He was feeling strange, having four pairs of eyes staring at him kneeling shirtless in front of Leila.

  “I don’t know what you are. We’ll find out in time. It’s not like you know right off the bat what your specialty is. Takes time to muddle around and find out what works for you.

  “And yes, I could take the curse from her, but it’d kill her. The curse is what’s keeping her alive at this point. Though her vitality is astonishing. Whatever she’s leaching is incredibly powerful.”

  “Leaching?” Vince asked.

  “Leaching. Whatever she’s being given to maintain her health,” Leila further explained, “it’s most interesting.”

  “Err, like food?” Vince qualified.

  “Possible. I’d be able to better understand if you showed me what you’re giving her,” Leila said. She gave his scar a poke.

  As if on cue, Red slipped in close and pressed a hand to the front of Vince’s pants. “Bringer feeds Red from this. Next time Red is fed, she will share part of her meal with you.”

  “Uhhhh, t-that’s alright,” Leila said, waving her hands in front of her. Apparently her mind made the leap in logic immediately to what Red was indeed being fed.

  “Red will share, Red is fed often and is happy to share once,” said the Cursed One, nodding her head.

  “No really it’s—”

  Soft laughter could be heard from the tree where Eva was. Leila looked up towards it, stopping midsentence.

  Red’s head whipped around and zeroed in on the tree. She released Vince and went running at the very tree that she had identified as where the laughter originated from.

  There was a squawk as Red leapt up into the foliage. Followed by several grunts and a whoosh of air, as if it was forced from someone’s lungs.

  A loud crack sounded before the tree next to the one Red leapt into shook.

  “Damn it, Red. If that’s how you want to do it, that’s how it’s going to be. I’ll make you pay next time,” Eva called.

  “Ignore them, it’s how Red plays with people,” Vince said, dismissing them and turning back to the blushing Gnome.

  “So, conduit? H
elp me make one? In fact, you’ll come with me to Wooden Heart. It’ll be a chance for you to train me and help me with the conduit.”

  “Hopefully Red doesn’t catch you during meal time,” Thera murmured to no one, a smirk forming on her lips as she sketched.

  “Red is tired of walking,” complained the Cursed One. “Should go home instead.”

  They’d been making their way through the wooded and mountainous terrain of Yosemite to the northwest.

  Meliae assured them they were on the straightest and quickest route, though they were on day four of this trek.

  Gert chuckled and gave himself a shake. Set opened a bleary eye at the movement in his harness on Gert’s back and then closed it again. “Complains to complain.”

  “Anyways,” Vince interjected before they could start fighting again. “Meliae swears it’s only two more days away. And when we arrive, I need you on your best behavior.”

  Red blew a raspberry and flicked her hair over one shoulder.

  “Our liege is right. We really do need to get a trade agreement in place,” Elysia cautioned. “Our resources are perilously thin as it is, and will be all but gone in as little as two months. This isn’t a joking matter for us anymore.”

  Leila bobbed along in front of them on a thin layer of magicked air turned into a disc.

  She turned around slowly, eying them all.

  “I still find it hard to believe you planned that poorly,” grumped the Gnome.

  “We planned until it felt as if Elysia and I were living together in a damn conference room. The simple answer is, we took on too many new citizens without planning for it. With enough time, we can balance that back out easily. Until then though, we need to make trade agreements and large purchases of food,” Vince explained. Again.

  He was starting to feel like a broken record.

  Growling under his breath Vince gave the group a quick once over.

  Gert, Set, and Ris were acting as scouts and guards. Right now Gert and Set were resting while Ris ran point up ahead of them.

  Elysia, Leila, Meliae, and Red were with him.

  Blue was in the rear with Green.

  Vince couldn’t keep the frustration out of his voice. “We’ll ju—”

  A deep throated roar came from the northeast. Followed by a scream and the crackle of what sounded to be magic.

  Vince’s entire group dropped low to the ground, hiding behind trees and bushes.

  Ris blew by overhead in the sky and blazed a trail straight for the ruckus.

  Gert and Set split up and made off in a similar fashion.

  Only to be followed by Red.

  “Damnit, wait,” Vince hissed. None of the three heard him. Or at least gave no indication of having heard him.

  Elysia, Meliae, and Leila looked at him.

  “Fuck, alright. Stay here. Tell Blue and Green to stay here as well when they catch up. I’ll see if I can’t get close enough to get our people back out. This is what I get for bringing along aggressive types,” Vince muttered, slipping around the tree he was behind.

  Another roar, higher in pitch than the first, helped him orient himself.

  The deafening boom of a magical detonation rocked him sideways a step. Vince swore it was as if his teeth were rattled loose.

  His heartbeat picked up rapidly and his body had a feeling of lightness to it as he went.

  Vince moved faster, his boots gliding over roots and rocks as if he knew where they were. He slipped through the forest at high speed.

  To the point that he burst out into a clearing where the entire fracas was ongoing.

  A beautiful white-winged woman with a glowing sword fought a dirty and scruffy looking man in a flowing black robe who also battled with what could only be described as a woman with horns and leathery wings.

  It was insanity.

  Vince blinked as the glowing sword pierced the man in the robe from sternum to spine. Groaning, the man clapped his hands together around something and then held a hand up. A purple glow surrounded his closed fist, before he slumped forward over the sword.

  The reptilian woman launched forward, one wing flapping while the other hung limply behind her, propelling her six foot frame forward.

  Before the glowing sword could be extracted, the horned woman tore one of the white wings clear off the other’s back.

  Screaming in rage, the glowing sword was whipped clear of the dying man and brought around in a blur.

  Horn girl kicked backward, her scaled and clawed foot catching the other woman in the knee.

  All around them the world acquired a sickening bluish haze, twisted around itself and then popped back into place.

  Where there had been nothing previously, there were now six statues made out of rock.

  Except they weren’t statues.

  One of them slammed a fist through the back of the dying man, the rocky hand bursting out of his chest.

  The other five broke into two groups and began to close in on the two women.

  Miss Glowing Sword was down a wing and wouldn’t be leaving this fight. Instead, she turned her bright visage on the first golem that was closing in on her.

  Bringing her sword around in a diagonal slash, she managed to crack its rock head into two with the strike.

  Though it was a golem, and didn’t really need its head to be intact.

  Which Glowing Sword realized too late as one rock hand battered her down, the blow to its head doing nothing.

  Vince rocketed forward, his saber sheathed and at his side.

  A blade would do him no good here. He’d have to improvise.

  Snatching up a nice big rock as he went, Vince kept moving. A second golem intercepted him and brought its arms around incredibly fast. Dodging to one side, the golem’s hands slammed together where Vince should have been. Hefting the rock, Vince bashed it into the center of the golem’s torso. Cracks spread rapidly from the force of the blow, magic seeping out quickly through those fractures.

  The golem slowed down to a crawl as it “bled out” from Vince’s straightforward attack.

  Looking back to the angel-winged beauty, he watched as the golem picked her up by the head, then crushed her skull with a wet pop.

  Brain and gore oozed through its stone fingers as her body went limp.

  The glowing sword extinguished itself and became nothing.

  Dropping the corpse, the golem turned towards Vince.

  The stench of blood flooded him.

  That sweet sick smell of metal.

  Shuddering Vince felt his mind starting to wander out of his control. Hefting his weapon, he moved forward to engage the second golem. Aiming another blow at the torso, Vince was surprised when a third golem crashed into his side.

  Rock-like arms battered Vince’s shoulders and head.

  Over and over the blows fell.

  A particularly accurate strike cracked Vince’s head to one side, his vision dimming.

  Then he lost control completely.

  Screaming inarticulately, he drew upon the source of power in his chest, channeled it through his conduit, and fed it back into his arms. Holding his stone in both hands, he swung upwards to where he felt the golem should be. Both his weapon, and the golem’s torso exploded from the impact.

  Snatching the arm of the golem he’d destroyed, he leapt for the third one.

  Vince saw nothing but red. Red and skittering movement through his vision. Everything was skewed and dyed in a boiling bloody frenzy.

  The impromptu weapon blasted through the golem’s midsection, and sent it careening out of sight.

  Turning back to the other golems, he found one was down, its limbs carved from its torso.

  Another one was trying to get in close to the horned woman while the last was trying to scrape the dead human man off its wrist.

  Roaring from the bottom of his hate, the pure feeling of his desperate anger, Vince burned himself up with his fury.

  Siphoning power from his core into his legs, Vince jump
ed forward.

  It was a very long jump, and carried him screaming into the golem with the gory bracelet. Barreling into the side of the golem Vince scrabbled at it for purchase rather than falling to the ground.

  Wrenching at its head with both hands Vince managed to keep his balance, then simply ripped it clean off the golem’s torso.

  Shrieking wordlessly Vince brought it down over and over into the top of the golem’s midsection.

  After the fifth blow, the golem collapsed on itself, dropping Vince to the ground.

  Turning on the last golem, Vince clawed his way to his feet and sprinted towards it.

  Lost in his enraged mind, he didn’t consider what he was doing, and shoulder-checked the magical construct. Sending it flying, Vince came to a stumbling halt, before chasing after it.

  Crawling atop the downed golem, Vince began battering it with the head of its fallen companion.

  When the center finally gave in and magic exploded outward, bathing Vince royally, there was a pause.

  A soft footfall alerted him to the presence of another foe.

  Pivoting from where he was, Vince dove towards this enemy

  He caught the horned woman around the throat and dragged her to the ground with both hands. Her wings beat at the ground, her scaled hands and clawed fingers dug at his forearms, her body bucking beneath him.

  Vince leaned in close and stared into her face as his hands tightened with as much force as he could bring to bear.

  Bright blue eyes stared at him. Short silver hair framed her fear struck face, her mouth open as she tried to suck in any air she could. Tiny blue scales lined her cheekbones and curled back towards her elongated ears and the short horns at her temples. Her long, scaled tail wrapped around his middle and tried in vain to pry him off.

  She got out a tiny squeak, her eyes focusing on his own.

  Vince saw himself in those blue eyes, and froze.

  Only fear and the face of a raging monster were in those eyes.

  Letting go of her throat Vince put his hands to the grass on each side of her head. The woman took in a great heaving lungful of air. Her hands still clenched to his forearms. Vince turned his head to the side, not wanting to see himself in her eyes anymore.

  Trying to get up, he found her tail still coiled tightly around his middle.