Wild Wastes Omnibus

by Randi Darren

  Wouldn’t take me longer than a night. Would certainly help the war effort, right?

  One less Dragon for the Tri-lliance. With losses like that, they’d have to start pulling back, wouldn’t they?

  Vince’s mind chewed on those thoughts. With a reasonable justification for simply waltzing into the city and murdering the Dragon, it was becoming more and more a plan.

  “You have the look of a man with a plan,” Richard said. “Care to help a fellow king out?”

  Vince looked from the map to Richard.

  “I could. And I suppose I do have a plan. Though I’d have to ask, what would I gain from this? You’ll forgive me, Richard; we’ve had very friendly relations, but we’re not allies, nor are we the same country.”

  “Ha, fair. If you can present me with a plan that’d give me Nashville in a month, I’ll send you every slave I hold in my domain.

  “You do tend to buy them whenever the guild puts up an auction, I hear,” Richard said. “It’d be a good chance to sweep the field and simply run the guild out. Since I’d have an army in place to crush them.”

  “And take their money,” Vince added.

  “And take their money,” Richard agreed with a smile.

  “I can do it. A month sounds about right as well… We have an accord?”

  “We do, and I do know your reputation for what happened to the last country who crawfished on a deal. You’ll have no problems from me.”

  I bet he was already planning on doing it. This just gives him a better legal reason.

  Fine, whatever. More citizens for Yosemite. We’ll do the normal interview to process those we want in Yosemite proper—the rest to wherever they wish.

  “What do you need from me?” Richard asked.

  “The local Ratkin population is it, really,” Vince said. “There’s always at least one. I need the biggest one in the area.”

  ***

  It’d been a quick trip, an hour, to find the local warren.

  A Ratkin dressed in cast-off linens stood hunched over in front of Vince.

  He’d bet on this specimen hitting average height if it stood upright.

  Though it was a strange red color, which was definitely new.

  Getting down on his knees to put himself much closer to the Ratkin’s height, Vince held out his hand in front of himself.

  In dealing with his own Ratkin citizens, he’d learned quickly that all they truly wanted was to be treated as equals.

  “Greetings, Warren-Master. I am Vince, Lord of Yosemite. I come to you as one who needs a favor.”

  The warren-master’s eyes jumped to Vince’s, then to his hand.

  Reaching out slowly, the Ratkin placed its tiny paw inside Vince’s.

  “I am Ven,” the Ratkin said.

  Shaking it gently, Vince smiled and released it.

  “Greetings then, Ven. Would you deal with me?”

  “Unsure how I can help the mighty lord of Yosemite.”

  “It’s rather simple. I need what your people specialize in. Getting in and out of situations they shouldn’t be able to.

  “I would like you to poison, ruin, and destroy the entire food and water cache in Nashville.

  “Using whatever means at your disposal. The Ratkin in Yosemite seem to take pleasure in shitting in my enemies’ food,” Vince said with a grin.

  “Mmm. Something we could do, yes.

  “I’ve heard that you treat your Ratkin as citizens,” Ven said, eying Vince warily.

  “That I do. My realm is quickly learning of the superiority of the Ratkin. I have an entire battalion of Beastkin who act as transports for them and they fight in battle together as brothers.”

  “I want to move my warren to Yosemite. All of them. If you—”

  “Done. Would you like to live in Yosemite, or a different city? Vegas has a rather large opening for a Ratkin population. The warren-master for Yosemite was considering moving a branch of her family over, but hasn’t decided yet.”

  Ven blinked at that. He got down on all four paws and then stood up again. Then he ran his hands over his whiskers, smoothing them back.

  “You would have me be Warren-Master for a city? For Vegas?” Ven asked.

  “I would, yes. Duke Heint put in a special transfer request for Ratkin. He doesn’t have as many as a city his size should, really.”

  “What do Ratkin do in your cities that he would need a transfer for?” Ven asked, suddenly suspicious.

  “Night patrol, police duty, military scouts, janitorial duties, anything a normal citizen would do. Though the primary function is the janitorial duty.

  “Everyone leaves out what they don’t need or want on the curbs in boxes. The Ratkin move in and collect it all, keep what they want, burn or destroy the rest, and replace the boxes.”

  “We get to keep anything we want from the boxes?” Ven asked.

  “Yes. Though my understanding is after a while, everything ends up being tossed out, as the Ratkin of course have everything a citizen would need.”

  “In other words… citizens. True equals, with a specialized task only for Ratkin.”

  “Right. Most neighborhoods try to coax Ratkin populations to the tops of their buildings. Ratkins tend to build neighborhoods on the tops of buildings in Yosemite.

  “Buildings with Ratkins living on them tend to be rather clean, without bugs and other undesirables,” Vince said with a grin.

  He knew first hand that Ratkin ate rats, mice, and any bugs they could catch.

  “I will do what you’ve asked. You just want us to… go into the city and ruin all their food?”

  “Yep, ruin it all. Leave nothing behind. Eat it, piss on it, shit in it, have sex in it, leave a corpse in it. Do whatever you need to do to make it inedible.”

  “And we can live in Vegas for this?”

  “Yep. Just head on down to Vegas, announce yourself as the new Ratkin population by request of Duke Heint, and they’ll let you right in. Guarantee it.”

  Ven straightened himself a bit and nodded his head.

  “Then… I hope to see you in Vegas sometime, my lord,” Ven said.

  “I’ll make it a point to drop by, Warren-Master Ven of Vegas,” Vince said, and held out his hand to the Ratkin. “For now, I’ll bid you goodbye.”

  ***

  Vince slipped in between the guards as they crossed paths on their patrol.

  Moving quickly and quietly, he kept to himself for now.

  Killing a soldier further in wouldn’t be as problematic as killing those on guard duty.

  A missing soldier in the middle of Nashville would be much harder for anyone to realize was missing.

  Someone on patrol who was supposed to be in a certain position would be missed rather quickly.

  Pressing himself against a building, Vince looked towards the capital building. Any self-respecting Dragon would make themselves the center. They couldn’t seem to resist it.

  It was a wonder to Vince that Heint had so quickly attached himself to Yosemite as a duke rather than fighting for the position of King.

  Vince paused and sank low to the ground.

  Up ahead, the capital building was practically surrounded by soldiers and bristling with weaponry.

  The Dragon hides away and surrounds itself with little peons.

  Lizardmen and humans alike. What a curious thing.

  Vince looked up the street in front of him and then down the other side.

  A wide avenue ran straight up to the steps that led to the capital building.

  The capital itself was a squared-off-looking building and seemed mostly intact.

  There were clear modifications to it, however. It looked like it’d been bulked up significantly, with a large tower rising up out of its center.

  Wanna bet the Dragon is at the top there? I’d be if I were the Dragon. Easy escape, easy entry.

  We’ll need to go in that way, I think. It’d be unexpected and prevent him or her from getting away.

  The better
question is… how do we get in easily?

  Vince choked up for a moment as a memory of Petra scaling the walls with him came to mind.

  “Red thinks we could simply go up this wall,” said Red. “If we keep it moving from rooftop to rooftop, we should get much closer.”

  A little surprised at her appearance, Vince raised an eyebrow.

  “Red was bored. The Ratkin were eager to ruin the lives of the Tri-lliance. Apparently they were treated like rodents and killed out of hand,” Red said, and shrugged her shoulders. “Red would rather be with her Vince.”

  “Your Vince, huh?”

  “Yes. You are Red’s. You are the possession of many women, but you are also Red’s.” The Beastkin ended her statement with a nod.

  “Can’t argue that, I suppose. Up you go first, then. I’ll follow you,” Vince said, pointing up the side of the building.

  Red looked up the wall. Jumping, she caught hold of a separation in the bricks and began to clamber up.

  Vince took a moment to appreciate her form in what looked like one of Blue’s leather armor sets.

  Fills it out pretty well.

  Crushing that thought ruthlessly, Vince started to follow her up.

  “Did you check out Red’s ass? Blue said Red should wear clothes more like hers,” Red asked from above. “Red thinks it’s odd but… Red is willing to do it if it makes you look at her more.”

  A pair of glowing red eyes peered down at him from above.

  “Ah, yeah. You do look good in it,” Vince said, struggling to climb as agilely as Red.

  “Red is happy then. It gives Red a… warm feeling in her privates to know you look at her like that,” said the Beastkin as she clambered over the side and onto the top of the roof. She spoke as if she were out for a lovely spring walk instead of climbing a building.

  “I… Red… does not want Leila to break the curse anymore. I can feel my memories. They’re there. Lurking beneath the surface.

  “I can feel them. I don’t like it. I don’t like… who I was,” Red said, her voice changing drastically. As if she were someone else entirely.

  “I… Red. Red is who Red is. Who she was before is gone now. In speaking with Leila, Red is now convinced it would be best to curse herself again so she loses her memories. Red likes being Red.”

  Slinging himself over the top of the ceiling, Vince flopped onto the rooftop.

  “I like Red myself,” Vince said.

  The Beastkin gave him a smile and then they were off again, heading for the capital building.

  Moving quickly, they were able to close the distance, and soon came to the bottom of the stairs and hill that led up to the capital.

  There were no buildings directly around it. It was a defensive perimeter that would make it difficult to slip in without being seen.

  “Red will distract them to the far side and immediately escape after that. Vince will go during that period,” Red said.

  “Alright, see you back at the base. Check in with Caroline when you get there,” Vince said.

  “Red understands. She is the ranking wife.”

  Getting down on hands and knees, Red seemed to coil up and then leap off the edge of the building.

  Red vanished into the dark. Vince lost sight of her rather quickly as she charged off.

  Vince slipped over the edge of the building with a lot less grace than Red demonstrated.

  Getting as low as he could against the building, wedging himself between a stairwell and a shrub, Vince watched.

  Two guards passed a third as they crossed on their route. The number of people on alert was rather high.

  A sharp scream cut through the night, followed by a shout and the single shot of a gun.

  They’re armed with actual firearms?

  Suddenly, all the guards who were on walking patrol bolted from their positions toward the sound.

  Those who were in fixed positions remained where they were. Though quite a number of them seemed to forget they were actually on duty and stared over their shoulders towards the disturbance.

  A number of gunshots went off, followed by a loud, piercing shriek. It was cut off abruptly, as if silenced with a switch.

  Seeing this as his chance, Vince slunk out from his cover, moving across the street and up the steps, passing within a foot of a guard.

  Pushing in close to a darkened alcove of the capital building itself, Vince hunkered down.

  If we wait for the situation to calm down a bit, they’ll all face outward again. Then we can start our climb.

  Keeping still and silent, the minutes ticked by.

  After what felt like maybe half an hour, the guards who were on a moving patrol came back and resumed their routes.

  They didn’t seem smug or at ease. Which meant Red had gotten away and left nothing behind other than a corpse or two.

  To make sure everyone was focused with what was outside of their perimeter, Vince waited a bit longer.

  Convinced he could climb without being spotted, he turned around and started to move up the wall.

  It took him longer this time, as he climbed slowly, hunting down a spot each time that felt secure before moving to it.

  When he reached the top without a problem—other than a significant amount of his time wasted—Vince let out a breath. He looked out across the top of the building. There were no doors, no windows, and no one was up here.

  Now just the tower, and the Dragon itself.

  Climbing the tower proved much easier, as it was constructed out of bricks and seemed to have shifted a bit in its lifetime. The bricks weren’t as tightly pressed together as they could have been, giving Vince a number of finger and toe holds.

  Reaching a balcony at the top, Vince peeked up over the edge.

  Finding no one there, he crawled up and over.

  The door connected to it was wide open. Peering inside the room, he could see a bed, and someone sleeping in it.

  Gently as he could, Vince let his mental sense slide over the occupant’s mind.

  What he got back was strange dreams, foreign thoughts, and nothing human.

  Let’s hope it’s the Dragon.

  Moving into the room, Vince gave it a cursory glance.

  Nothing seemed out of the ordinary or of interest to him.

  Easing up next to the bedded-down Dragon, Vince gave it a once-over.

  It was a very pretty young woman with a slim figure.

  Clenching his teeth over the billowing anger at how much destruction these Dragons had caused for Yosemite, Vince cocked his arm back.

  Building up an inferno of the rage, the anger, the fear.

  The hate.

  Vince could feel the red haze of his fury descending over him in a slow process.

  It gave the room the pulsing red sheen he always saw, but none of the out-of-control madness he’d come to expect. Instead, he held a cold and murderous feeling tightly in his chest.

  Putting his entire body into the punch, his fist smashed down into the woman’s forehead.

  There was a resounding pop and the front of her skull sunk in.

  A rattling snore was audible now. Wet and raspy, it shook her body.

  Alright, let’s get her out onto the rooftop and carve her heart out. Killing her in here would be bad.

  Not enough room for a Dragon corpse.

  Grabbing the woman by a shoulder, Vince dragged her out of her bed to the balcony.

  With a careless shove, he dropped her body over the edge, then followed her over the railing.

  Landing atop her abdomen, he heard something break inside her.

  He pulled out his hunting knife and deftly peeled her clothes off. Taking her nightgown to clean his knife off with later, Vince laid the blade on her lovely throat.

  Then slit it open from ear to ear. With a second slash, he disconnected her head from her neck and took five steps back as quick as he could.

  Her head wobbled to the side and stopped with its face turned away.

  Sec
onds ticked by and Vince worried he’d gotten the wrong target.

  Wiping his blade off on the fabric he’d stolen from her, Vince waited quietly.

  Magic can take a while to break, even when unpowered. Leila told us that. Let’s give it—

  The corpse began to rapidly expand and change. In no time at all, the headless dead body of a massive red dragon lay in front of him.

  Clambering atop the chest, Vince drew his sword.

  Time to crack open the ribs and get my prize.

  Chapter 18

  Vince sat bolt upright.

  He was in his tent. Laying in his cot. Everything seemed exactly as it should be.

  He couldn’t remember getting back to the camp, however.

  The last memory he had was escaping Nashville. But only after eating as much as humanly possible of the Dragon heart.

  He’d left the corpse on top of the building and the remainder of the heart right there.

  Everything after that had gotten hazy. Nothing had felt quite real as he’d struggled to get back to camp.

  “Except I apparently made it,” Vince said, looking down at himself. He was naked and clean. “And I’m whole and I must have cleaned myself up?”

  “No, I cleaned you up, noble husband,” Caroline said. She was sprawled out next to him in his bed, rubbing at her eyes with her hands. “And good morning. Do you feel better now?”

  “I… yes. I do. You cleaned me up? What happened?”

  “Much like something out of a bad joke, you stumbled home drunk just before morning. You were covered in blood.

  “You proceeded to fill me with enough magic that I think my hair started to smoke. After that, you threw me into the bed—though you did make sure I was willing, which was endearing in its awkwardness—and had your way with me. Then you passed out on top of me.

  “Leaving me to clean up myself, yourself, and our bed,” Caroline said.

  Sighing, she let her arms fall back into the bed.

  “You’re a handful,” she said with a small smile for him.

  “Sorry… apparently Dragon hearts affect me like alcohol would. Which is strange, since I haven’t been drunk in… years.”

  “I didn’t mind the attention, though I had no idea you were so fascinated with my ears,” Caroline said. “I’m going to see if I can’t get back to sleep.”