JUMP (The Senses)

by Cindy Paterson

  He gave a curt nod as if he understood, but failed to release her. His body tensed and his eyes narrowed while searching the darkness. “We’re leaving right now.”

  Without allowing her a choice in the matter, he pulled her behind him away from the house and down the street to her car. Did he ever hear of ask and you shall receive? Manners and vocab were definitely lacking. Nice catch, Danielle. She laughed to herself; guess she hadn’t really caught this one though. He was still swimming circles around her. Not that she wanted him. Well, her body did, but her mind was screaming shark.

  Her breath was ragged by the time they stopped at her car. Without asking, he reached into her right coat pocket and pulled out her keys. He unlocked the door and, without giving her a choice in the matter, he guided her to the passenger side. She wanted to object to his overbearing decision making, but something in his expression made her think that arguing with him at the moment was not a good idea. Besides, her temper was a spark ready to ignite into an inferno, so she clamped her mouth shut before she exploded into a heated argument. Overbearing men and her were like vinegar and water.

  They drove in silence, the sound of the gears shifting abruptly as he took his tension out on her car.

  She took several deep breaths before speaking. “Okay, now that we’ve settled that you’re a little paranoid—who were we running from?” No way in hell was she admitting she’d been petrified of that golden-eyed guy emerging from Keir’s house.

  “Nothing,” Balen answered without looking at her as he made the final turn into her underground parking garage.

  “If it was nothing, then why did we run like a herd of rhinos were after us?”

  He made a snort as though he wasn’t amused at her persistence. “Someone was watching us.”

  “Did you see them?”

  “No. I felt them,” Balen answered and then shut off the ignition. He got out and she quickly followed.

  “What do you mean you felt them? What, like smelled them? No deodorant kind of thing or too much cologne?”

  He kept walking. “Something like that,” he answered.

  “Which one? Because I sure as hell didn’t smell anything.”

  They came out of the garage onto the street and crossed the road to her gallery. She’d been able to buy a parking spot in the condo building across the road. Handy considering she rarely drove her car, and parking was damn expensive in the city. She took two steps to his one and still she was behind him. She hated that, always trying to keep up as if a kid. She was five foot three, not that short. “Would you stop for a sec and explain?”

  Balen halted at her door. When he turned to face her, she saw fear and an uncertainty. Her heart skipped a beat. “What? What is it?”

  He passed her the keys. “Where’s the Telwar I gave you?”

  “What?”

  “The knife. Do you have it with you?”

  “Yeah, it’s in my coat pocket. What does that—”

  “I’m leaving tomorrow. I need you to . . .” He hesitated. “You’re vulnerable.” He put his finger to her lips when she opened her mouth to refuse. “No argument. Just do as I say. No more traipsing about at night. Stay inside and keep the knife with you at all times.”

  Was traipsing even a word? And if it were, where did he get off telling her what to do? She turned the key in the lock. “You know, you’re a real pain in my ass. If I want to dance in the streets at three in the morning with a pink tutu on, I will bloody well do it.”

  He grabbed her forearms. “Listen to me, damn it. Something isn’t right. I don’t know what it is, but it’s all around you.”

  “Around me?” She gave a half-smile, raising her brows. “Like a halo? Or maybe an aura? You know, on the next block is a special hospital. I’m certain if you tell them about these auras, they’ll admit you without question.”

  His fingers tightened. Okay, he looked pissed. But what did he expect when he said shit like that.

  “Danielle, just do as I say.”

  Oh, wrong thing to say, buddy. She didn’t give a flying crap if he was annoyed or not, she was not being ordered around like a kid.

  She snatched her car keys out of his hand. “This is baloney. Why do you have to be such a dick when you open your mouth? Do you like treating women like they’re dolls? Is that your way of getting girls? Because it won’t work with me. I don’t fall for the dark, mysterious, overbearing kind. Equality. Have you heard of that word? Or is it out of your realm of vocabulary? Just leave me alone. After all, you’re an expert at that when you choose to be.”

  She dislodged his hands and pushed past him. He grabbed the door knob before she had the chance to open it.

  “What?” she shouted.

  “I apologize,” Balen said.

  “Wow, a big boy,” Danielle said, rolling her eyes at the half-assed attempt to make it all go away. She desired this man like no other and for some reason, despite his arrogance and confidence, she still wanted to jump his bones, but he needed to do a hell of a lot more than apologize. She wanted honesty.

  “I was there,” Balen said.

  “Yeah, heard that one already.”

  She tried to act flippant, but when her eyes met his, she saw the truth staring directly at her. Shit, this was what she wanted, and yet her stomach was protesting the knowledge like tossing driftwood into quicksand, slowly being sucked under with suffocating mud clinging to every limb.

  “I saw what that bastard did to you, and I can’t get it out of my mind.” He stepped closer, arms on either side of her, palms leaning against the door. “When I close my eyes, I hear you scream, I see your face, and it rips me apart. For two years, I stayed away, but . . . I needed to come back and see you. I never wanted to cause you pain, little one.”

  She was taken back. She wanted to know for so long, but now a fear shot through her at discovering what she’d been desperate to know. Terrified to hear what had happened. He had stood by and watched? Heard her screams?

  He grabbed her by the shoulders. “Are you listening to me? I would sell my soul to the devil to take back what happened to you. I can’t let anyone hurt you again. I can’t. When I think of harm befalling you, I become . . . hell, I can’t help but be controlling.” He moved closer. “I want you to be safe again, little one. Promise me you’ll stay safe when I’m gone.”

  The pull towards him was overwhelming. She was the negative side of the magnet and he was the positive, dragging them closer, her senses needing to touch, taste and smell him. God, why? Why was this happening? All she wanted was peace from her past and still it gripped her like a nail driving into her head.

  “Why were you there? Were you his accomplice?” But she knew somehow that he wasn’t. As soon as the words left her mouth, she knew he had suffered as much as she had.

  “Bloody hell, are you listening to me? I care for nothing except your well-being.” He cursed under his breath. “You are in my soul. Under my skin. I feel you all the time. I can’t get you out of my mind. Not because of what happened, but because when I first saw you, heard your voice, I knew that you were what I had lived for all these years. But what I feel for you will destroy both of us.”

  The tears welled, even though she tried to hold them back. Oh please, stop before I crumble into your arms.

  “I want you,” Balen said. “I need you so bad that I feel as if my insides will dissolve into a thousand particles if I can’t have you.” His eyes were so filled with pain that it shot through her insides like a sword lancing across her skin. “But it’s just impossible.”

  He pulled her into his arms. His fingers caressed the back of her neck, slow, gentle and possessive, lips inches from her own, hesitating. And she never wanted to taste anything, not even Crème Brule, as badly as she did at that moment.

  They were meshed together, wind pushing them closer, bodies touching, her hands resting on the wall of his chest that felt familiar and comforting.

  “Balen.” It was the only word she could manage to get
out without crying. She felt like she knew every inch of him, every pain, every happiness and each gesture. She felt as if she could read his thoughts and that alone could destroy her. Destroy her armor and pierce her heart.

  His head lowered, eyes intent on her own as he leaned forward. Her knees weakened and her stomach dropped.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice gruff and tortured. “I must leave.”

  “But . . .”

  Balen’s eyes were tormented, the green darkening and brows lowering over them. He cupped her chin, fingers tightening in an intense possession. “If you need anything, go to your friends. They will protect you.”

  “No,” Danielle cried. Shit what the hell was she doing? But the words tumbled from her mouth and she couldn’t stop them. Truthfully, she didn’t want to. “Don’t leave.”

  His hand dropped from her chin. “Little one, I have no choice. I must face what I’ve run from.”

  She reached up and placed her hands on top of his. “Stay.” She didn’t know why she asked. Crap, five minutes ago she was ready to belt him one, but she was capable of dealing with attitude. What she wasn’t capable of dealing with was him leaving. Something compelled her to stay with him, to have him near. And she was terrified of commitment, go figure. In six months, she’d leave him. It was her routine, her way of protecting herself. But at this moment, she wanted him.

  He dropped his hands, taking a step back. “No,” he said fiercely. “Impossible.”

  “I need you to stay,” Danielle argued. She felt his withdrawal, knew that he was going to leave. How would she live without him? He gave her hope, made her want to live again. Whoa, that was way too strong, but she needed this guy.

  “We’re fated to be apart.” A sharp gust of wind pressed against his back. He scoffed and turned away.

  “Make love to me,” Danielle whispered, but the words were loud enough for him to hear and she knew it.

  His back stiffened and his hands clenched into fists at his sides. “You don’t know what you’re saying.” How could he walk away from that? More than anything, he wanted to hold her in his arms, feel her beneath his body, breathe her scent into his lungs. And he knew that what she was asking terrified her more than anything, yet she trusted him with her body, when she rejected any other man who came near to touching it.

  “Don’t patronize me. I know exactly what I want and that is you. Give this to me, Balen. Make me learn to love to touch again, feel heat between two bodies. Share passion.”

  He closed his eyes, willing himself to walk away, yet frozen in place by her words, which erupted a swirling urgency inside him that was impossible to deny.

  “I want this. I need this from you. Don’t you dare walk away and leave me to wonder what we could have shared in one night.” Her heart took a double beat as Balen swung around and reached her in two strides. He grabbed her around the waist and jerked her body up against him. His fingers cupped her chin, digging into the flesh.

  “Tell me, Danielle. Can you make love to me when I’m like this?” His grip tightened and his face darkened, eyes flashing like a wild animal with its prey in its claws. “Because I cannot promise to be gentle. That is not me, I’m filled with animal and you drive that animal to its greatest heights.” His fierce expression left her breathless, and he felt the panic begin to surface at being trapped in his embrace, like manacles on her wrists, clamped hard into her skin with no release.

  “Can you?” he demanded before his mouth drove down on top of hers with ferocity. He forced her mouth open, seeking solace with his tongue inside the wet cavern, strong, demanding. His mouth bruising as he sought to make her run from him, to raise the fear that he knew sat like a cement weight in the pit of her stomach. Yet as his fingers curled in her hair and pulled her head back, he felt her body relax and succumb to his kiss.

  She moaned beneath his assault, hands coming up to rest on his shoulders between them. That was all it took. There was no turning back as he swept her up into his arms and pushed open the gallery door. He carried her upstairs, his lips never once leaving hers.

  He placed her on the bed, following to hover over top, his weight on his knees as they straddled her. He ran his finger across her brow, adoring how it curved slightly upward in the center. “We cannot go back, little one. I don’t have the strength to resist you once I taste you again.”

  He saw the flicker of fear inside those shimmering eyes. He needed possession and she needed submission from him, something he didn’t have inside. Did she understand that? Regardless of what happened to her, giving her control was impossible.

  His loins ached as he waited for her to decide. Her thoughts were a whirlwind of conflict, desire, fear, and uncertainty pulling at her in every direction. Which would win, he hadn’t a clue. What he did know was that he was fucked because tasting this and then having to leave was going to destroy him.

  She raised her hand to wrap around the back of his neck. “I want what only you can give me. Salvation.” She pulled him towards her and tilted her head so her lips took his in a sweet gentle urging.

  Balen groaned, all his strength dissolving in one second as her scent wafted across him and her lush mouth stole his breath from his lungs. She was tentative with her desire, mouth moving slowly over his own with a velvet touch.

  “Ah, my sweet,” he murmured as he took control, prying her mouth open and seeking the warmth he craved inside. Hands delving into her hair, he lowered his weight on top of her and let go of any resolve, needing what she was offering more than anything in his life.

  She felt his weight trap her beneath him and tensed, the panic urging her to fight him, to release her from the entrapment that only pain could come from. She remained frozen as his mouth dove over hers, strong and demanding, making her insides coil with trepidation.

  She knew it was Balen, the man from her paintings. Knew this was what she wanted, she desired him, she asked for this, yet the panic of being captive sought to take hold. Please let me do this. If Balen couldn’t stop the fear, then she was doomed for life. No other did she desire as she did him.

  He raised his head, eyes searching hers when he felt her tension, her lips no longer moving over his own. Her hands had slipped to her sides, and he peered down and saw them curled into fists within the duvet.

  “Hell,” Balen swore and pounded his fist above her head into the pillow. “I told you. I warned you. Bloody hell, Danielle.” He fell to the side of her on his back and put his hand over his eyes. He heard her intake of breath and then a sob catch in her throat. He turned and saw the single tear running down her cheek. He closed his eyes, afraid of seeing the pain in her expression. “Don’t cry. Please, my sweet. I beg of you.”

  He wiped the tear with his finger and shifted his weight so he was lying on his side. He pulled her into his arms and placed a gentle kiss on her temple as he caressed her hair back from her face. He knew he should walk away. This was about something more than just sex, and they both knew it. This was about conquering their demons, and neither of them had the power to defeat the memories.

  Why was she crying? She never cried, except now the sobs were worse since he was being so gentle. His silence was comforting as he cradled her in his embrace, letting her release the fear from her body, no pressure only warmth exuding from him. Several minutes passed before she felt the panic subside and her sobs ceased. She heard his sigh of relief and wanted to smile. Balen hated tears, she had no idea how she knew this, but she did.

  “Let me lead,” Danielle suggested.

  At that Balen jerked from around her and sat up. “Hell, you still want to do this?”

  She nodded with determination. “I want you, Balen. I feel so much desire for you that it hurts, but when you trap me beneath you . . . I . . . I panic. Give me control.”

  “Impossible,” Balen muttered, swinging his legs over the far side of the bed. His head lowered and he ran his hand through his disheveled hair.

  She crawled over on her knees and came up
behind him, wrapping her arms around his abdomen. Then her breath fanned across his neck before her lips met skin and she placed gentle kisses across his ear and then down the side of his neck. Could he let her be dominant? Could he hide his nature away for this one time? What if he lost control? What if he hurt her?

  “Release me, Balen. Let me find my own way,” she whispered in his ear.

  “And if I can’t? What if I can’t succumb? I cannot bear to hurt you. Never. We risk much for this.”

  “We risk more if we don’t.” Her fingers pulled his shirt from his pants and she raised the material up and over his chest. “Raise your arms,” she demanded and then nipped his earlobe when he hesitated.

  He felt the growl leap inside and clenched his teeth to keep it at bay, but he raised his arms and she took off his shirt, throwing it across the room. And then he felt her hands swirl over his naked flesh, pins of heat bursting through him at every touch, tempting the urge to throw her onto her back and take her like a wild animal. But something stopped him, her voice, her words that were gentle and soothing to the predator inside.

  “Feel me. I’m trembling with need to taste every inch of you. My body will follow my mind. It has no choice when I am with you.”

  Having this power over him was what kept her from running and listening to the panic that hovered in the back of her mind. She was determined to end this tonight. He said he had to leave her, but not before they experienced what both desired. If she had to be without him then it would at least be with one memory, one night together.

  She crawled off the bed and stood in front of him, pulling her turtleneck over her head and letting it fall at her feet. She heard his sharp intake of breath and his eyes smoldered with an intense heat. She licked her lips and followed with her black lace bra. He reached for her, but she backed out of his grasp, shaking her head.

  She stepped out of her clothes and met his gaze. For one instant, she thought he’d lose control and take her, but his deep inhale seemed to placate him.

  “Lie down,” Danielle said.